RE: Vientiane, Laos - Datasheet
Hate to be a dick yet again (and I see OP is already banned), but first off, if you went to Vientiane and walked away with the impression that the you can "pretty much walk everywhere," you were in the downtown foreigner area and you never got any further. Great job – you visited the same ten block radius as every other clueless visitor and walked away with the conclusion you'd seen the entire city...
Listen, it takes a good 20 to 30 minutes to drive out of town on a motorbike (when you're already well out of the tourist center), and even then you'll find plenty of local bars, pubs, and clubs scattered about in the dusty suburbs (hell, that's when shit really starts even getting good) - so no, you cannot "pretty much walk everywhere."
It really gets old seeing this misinformation in datasheets over and over on the forum from guys who spend 3 days in a place, never go anywhere past the central tourist area, and then walk away acting like they are some type of authority on the city or qualified to make a verdict on anything at all.
I'm no expert on the city either, but I have stayed in Laos for months at a time on multiple trips over the past ten years, often in Vientiane, and last year I even lived in a half Laotian, half thai friend's home for a month while staying there (he's married to a gorgeous ex TV star there, arranged marriage). We went to about four weddings while I was there, one in the countryside out of town and three much more high end - at each I was the life of the party just because I was a foreigner at a local wedding, and as always there were plenty of beautiful, big breasted girls - many throwing very keen looks.
We also did quite a bit of clubbing, and as usual, I was generally the only foreigner to be seen – because as usual, foreigners simply don't know where the clubs are at or are too intimidated to go inside if they don't see people who look just like themselves.
In my ten years in Asia I've seen foreigner after foreigner come blasting through Vientiane on a drunken visa run, or hung over from Viang Vieng, not bothering to put out any effort to see the place aside from walking around the same exact Westernized area, eating some Italian food, and jettisoning back to Thailand as fast as possible - before brashly declaring the place is not worth more than a night of your time. Every other foreigner is saying it, so sheesh, it must be worth repeating, right?
I say these people have no imagination. Give me Vientiane over Vang Vieng any day of the week. The place is far from boring unless you are the most boring of travelers. Let's start with the nightlife. Yes, at first glance it seems quiet, but it's a Southeast Asian city, and like any Southeast Asian city there are clubs all over the place that are most definitely NOT in your guidebook or even on wikiletsallgotothesameplaces. Most of which have zero foreigners in them and that very often go until early hours of the morning, curfews be damned.
There are beer bars with cute girls (of varying quality and sophistication, of course) staffing them all over the city and deep into the outskirts, and the food is cheap and fresh and fucking delicious. Anyone who has ever been to Laos knows the beer is the best in Southeast Asia and the pride of the country. Never have I seen a country take such pleasure in drinking beer outside of Germany. Even if you can't find a proper club going off there are private parties and holidays used as excuses to drink beer all day, every day (hence the laziness of a lot of the people lol).
Like Cambodia, it's not a place to everyone will be able to "get." If you're the type of guy who wouldn't have traveled back in the old days when traveling somewhere was actually difficult and not accessible to even the fattest, laziest, most pampered broad in the west - you probably won't like the place. Sure.
But if you like edgy adventure, on the other hand, and to actually get out elbowing up with the locals (rich or poor), and don't mind actually having to work for some quality tail, I think Vientiane would be a great place to live for the location independent. One cool thing about it is that even though many places are quite primitive and simple, the modernization in Vientiane is quickly spreading past the center, and the foreign hand in the local hospitality business is quite heavy. Thus, the foreign cuisine scene is epic in comparison to many Southeast Asian cities of a similar size, and these days, even though you're essentially in a frontier country, you can still have the luxuries of the West whenever you want them. Or you can hop over the river to Thailand for anything you can't find - locals with money often party over the river when they want to get out a bit.
So, anyhow, I can sit in a nice air-conditioned coffee shop getting work done, and then just decide I want to change centuries and walk around the corner to sit in a dirt floor restaurant and pound beers with low class Laotians, eating barbecued chicken and sticky rice with my fingers. It's fucking great, and if you don't think so, sure, go back to Bangkok and stick to Sukhimvit.
Laotian women look very Thai but are known to have much larger breasts and general curviness. To say they are somehow unattractive is a ridiculous notion, and if you actually had the game, class, and patience to access the upper end (not saying I necessarily do, especially the patience part), you wouldn't say that for a second. But even many of the lower to middle class women can be quite pretty – the ones who work in LOCAL beer bars are, as usual, a smart place to place your energy because while they aren't generally prostitutes, they do tend to be a bit more liberal and open-minded (and attractive). Same with girls working in higher end hotels and foreigner restaurants and what-not.
In fact, most Thai men who've been there or anywhere near there will tell you that they find Laotian women to be extremely beautiful – even preferring them to Thai women. If more guys who visit Southeast Asia would stop and actually have a conversation with a Thai male in the country, they could go ahead and hear this opinion for themselves. It's really not that hard – Thai men like discussing foreign pussy as much as we do.
To go further, many Thai men in the know travel to the country just to chase tail, as they are well received by the women, and the smartest ones often choose them for wives because they aren't as modernized and ruined as Thai women.
More pleasant and submissive. And "mee nom yai,” of course.
On top of that, once you're married to a Laotian woman, you could still possess a lot of sexual freedom if you played the cards right - gender dynamics are still very old school and you'd be blown away by the shit my Thai/Laotian buddy gets away with, even with his somewhat famous wife.
I'm not sure of the current status on fornicating with local women - last time I was there, a local guy told me it's no longer illegal. I'm not sure if he knew what he was talking about, but either way, I've definitely banged my share of women there and have yet to experience any issues. I've heard of guys having problems with the police, but these were always guys making a big spectacle of themselves and pissing people off.
On my last trip, I banged a hot deaf mute girl (I've got a thing for the mastery of body language many deaf girls possess lol) on a blanket on the floor while her gay friend sat on the bed grinning like a kid in a candy store. Not for everyone, sure, and one of my stranger bang experiences, but that's neither here nor there, and drunken me for one thought it was pretty fucking hilarious. On the other end of the spectrum, some rich girl snuck me into the backdoor of the mansion where she lived with her parents on my very first trip to Luang Prabang.
That being said, while I think it'd be an awesome place to live with some of the funnest, most hospitable people you'll meet anywhere, it's of course not a very good place for a player to live. Much like Cambodia, it's better to have longer-term girlfriends. Sexual norms are loosening, and there are sluts like anywhere, but you won't find a bunch of “normal girls” jumping on your dick right away. Laotian women are generally conservative and the place is small enough to get a reputation fast.
You could be a player there, and some white guys do, but I'd be lying if I told you that you'd do as well as in a good-sized city in Thailand. It would also take time to understand which “normal” girls were the looser type you could push it with.
If you're looking for a wife or long-term girlfriend, on the other hand – most of us aren't, but some are - I think it's a great place to live for the location independent, with a lot of opportunity in the air, and you could do a lot worse than a traditional Laotian woman at home keeping the fire burning and the kids fed. Again and again, Thai men warn me about marrying a Thai woman. Yet again and again Thai and Laotian men alike tell me that I SHOULD marry a Laotian.
It's also a very good place to network with moneyed locals – like Cambodia, you can make great contacts very fast if you know how to carry yourself.
One quick note on Laotians – at least until they get drunk, they can be a little more difficult to open up than the Thais. You'll often get completely ignored even if posted up in a local spot, especially if they are people with money, but as usual, a few brews will loosen them up, so just wait it out.
Once a Laotian likes you, you'll see how fun-loving and generous they are. I remember one time spending a lot of time at this restaurant in the city, schmoozing the old lady who ran the place and trying to hit on the staff and her daughter, and I could have sworn her older husband, who had a position in local government, really did not like me. Then one day just like that he invited me to the SEA games at Vientiane's new (at the time) stadium and bought me a ticket and we were driving around in his SUV pounding Beer Laos like good buddies and talking business.
As is usual, lower class locals with less experience of the world will be even more hospitable and warm - don't be surprised if you're at a temple party or some other shebang and one of them decides to sit there right at your side, blabbing at you in his own language, whether you understand or not, and cheersing you the entire night. A bit of a game kill, but it is what it is.
A notable difference as compared to Thailand is how they often share one glass among the entire table and pass it around drinking one at a time, and to me that's a strong indication of just how alive the communal spirit is there. Once you are in with the Laotians, you are very much in.
And of course it's a great place to get out in the countryside for some motorbiking, caving, or anything else outdoorsy. Landmines are obviously a problem, but if you stick to the beaten territory there is some beautiful shit to see.
If anyone tells you to give Laos a miss, I suggest you give THEM a miss – unless you yourself don't want to put out the time and effort to experience something unique and old school. A lot of guys won't be able to handle it, but for me it's another one of those places where if I completely surrendered to my more carnal nature I could lose myself forever to the simple things in life and die a very happy and contented man.
Beyond All Seas
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling
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