Post: #1

I've started a mobile app business on the side and guess what 0 likes on Facebook from them, my uncle and aunts came to my house the other day and said no congratulations even though they are completely aware of it and no congratulations on the what's app family chat where they said congratulations to my other cousins and family members on their achievements or stuff they do.

Love to shut my two other uncles up who just makes assumptions based on me with no evidence.

Their is lot of things they have done in the past which my Aunty laughed at me when I start taking when the room went quiet and also other times.

I've come to the conclusion they don't like me and think low of me.

My most respected uncle said I can't get a preety women because I'm starting my career late at 28.

Post: #2

Why do you care so much?

No offense, but anyone can make an app these days and to old people they really don't get it unless you went public and now are a billionaire.

Is your app novel, do you actually support yourself on your app's income?

If not, stop caring so much what obscure relatives like on facebook. Secondly, what's this bullcrap about a lack of likes? You're seriously worried about how many likes you have?

It sounds more like you're insecure about your lack of social media presence. Why don't you fix this by deleting your facebook and learning what it's like to not seek validation 100% of the time?

Post: #3

Thanks for the reply.

I've edited my post. My most of my life I've had my family treat me badly and I guess I shouldn't care what they think of me anymore.

I am slighty insecure and perhaps I should go off Facebook since it doesn't seem healthy for me and the validation seeking.

I've made high quality apps which I am seeking to earn money through freelancing and through contacts when I start my career, this is my business model.

I've got a warehouse job which I will continue until I get a programmer, developer job.

Post: #4

From one black sheep to another, you need to let your accomplishments speak for yourself.

It sounds like you're on the crest of being launched to new levels. Don't compare yourself to others and don't use facebook for validation. Doing that will drain you and come off as insecure.

You've done good work so far, keep going and you'll get there.

Post: #5

I come from a family with a rich and storied history of failure. I wont go into detail except to say that managing my finances responsibly and maintaining a wife and two kids for over a decade makes me among the most accomplished members of my bloodline in the last hundred years or so.

So take it from me that tall poppy syndrome is alive and well. Arriving at family events without tattoos, shitty clothing or a gut half full of liquor marks me as "that bastard that thinks he's better than the rest of us".

If they're not pulling you up then don't let them drag you down.

Post: #6

You're 28 stop worrying so much about what your aunts and uncles think of you and just start worrying about yourself and your product.

Wasting time stressing about inconsequential extended family validation is a good way to get distracted from the prize. Grow your business and make money. Let the results speak for themselves to whoever is listening. Then when you go to the next family wedding or funeral and Uncle Joe asks what you've been up to you can say "Oh my app took off, made our first million last year and I bought a summer home in the Caymans" etc.

You'll find you have few friends and little support when the chips are down but people come out of the woodword when things are good. Just the way people are and you can't change that. All you can control is yourself.

Post: #7

(04-27-2017 09:09 AM)Atom89 Wrote:  My most respected uncle said I can't get a pretty women because I'm starting my career late at 28.

What does this idiot's wife look like? Dollars to donuts she's not a first round draft choice

Post: #8

(04-27-2017 09:28 AM)Atom89 Wrote:  ...most of my life I've had my family treat me badly and I guess I shouldn't care what they think of me anymore.

Thank them. They are a gift.

Like Leroy Smith to Michael Jordan.

Of course you care what they think. You're human and they're your people. Your family's job is to give you love, support, and encouragement. That they are not makes them sad sad people...and a giant gift to you...

Feed on their disrespect of you. Put a giant chip on your shoulder. Recall every day every detail of every slight. Savor their contempt for you. Feel that rage. Make it your fuel. And then go the fuck to work.

Wanna see how winner's think about such slights and disrespect?

Here's the master.

Leroy Smith at 6:20
The mindset at 19:28

Fuck social media. That shit's not for you. Get to work.

Post: #9

You don't need anyone's validation bro. You gotta get that stoic mindset mang.

Post: #10

Don't take it personally. They do not necessarily hate you.

You should not really discuss business issues too much with your family.

Tell them when it is a major success, but usually high-reward low-probability-for-success undertakings are hard to assess by a family unless that family is comprised of entrepreneurs, artists etc.

That means that if you embark on being an artist, painter, actor, dancer, writer, entrepreneur, then don't expect much YOLO-shouting. They cannot assess that properly. And even if they can assess it somehow they can at best estimate your potential success-curve.

Best not share much about the projects until the success is there.

Post: #11

^Zel is correct. Your close friends who know and understand you a little better may be better allies in your camp for those sorts of endeavors.

If/when I talk to my folks about new business propositions or anything of that sort they are always skeptical or disinterested unless I actually have some real progress to show for it. I don't take it personal - I know they love me and want me to do well they just don't want to hear about pipe dreams or see me fail and wind up broke and jobless.

Post: #12

(04-27-2017 01:49 PM)Jack_Smith Wrote:  

(04-27-2017 09:28 AM)Atom89 Wrote:  ...most of my life I've had my family treat me badly and I guess I shouldn't care what they think of me anymore.

Thank them. They are a gift.

Like Leroy Smith to Michael Jordan.

Of course you care what they think. You're human and they're your people. Your family's job is to give you love, support, and encouragement. That they are not makes them sad sad people...and a giant gift to you...

Feed on their disrespect of you. Put a giant chip on your shoulder. Recall every day every detail of every slight. Savor their contempt for you. Feel that rage. Make it your fuel. And then go the fuck to work.

Wanna see how winner's think about such slights and disrespect?

Here's the master.

Leroy Smith at 6:20
The mindset at 19:28

Fuck social media. That shit's not for you. Get to work.

This post is fucking deep, that's a gem but no one will see through it.
What have been said to MJ have been also said to Kobe BRYANT, Mike TYSON and many others and what did they do ?
They turn it over and used it as fuel instead of getting depressed about it

(03-16-2017 07:58 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  If success was widespread, you'd see it in the culture. You'd see it in the stats.

Individual reports of happiness and contentment camouflage the truth.

WIA

Success in any field come from an other mindset, trying to explain it to people will get you labeled like you're from an other planet or worse, you have to do your thing without talking about it to other if they don't ask about it.
Their first sentence is when they find out about your success ?
Let me get onboard! For real ?! Without even working you're asking to get part of my money/success now that the train is out of the "struggle" station ?
I've only one thing to say: "Fuck you".

From my background I've had multiple ideas that could have make me some cash but each time, mother, uncles, father, brother or friends told me "Naw dude, just get a job and work until it's done, get your retirement and enjoy life as a 65yo dude, life will be pretty sweet for you, don't worry".

Fuck them, I love them to death but Now that my life have been fucked up after so many years in jobs that I can't stand FUCK THEM!

I can't go on about this because I really take this subject at heart as reality start unfolding before my eyes and it make me really angry as I recall past events but I've written something in the same vein in an other thread.

Let me quote:

Jon ROBERTS from American Desperado Wrote:When you care for your animals they can break your heart. This happened to me with a horse named Desperado. Toni and I found him in Kentucky. We were out at a farm early in the morning. The sun was barely up. There was a heavy mist. Out of it a horse came running. Desperado. He was gray with black dimples.
Toni and I looked at each other. We knew this was the horse. I’d always had the fantasy of winning the Kentucky Derby. I could dominate many tracks, but winning against all those blue-blood assholes at the Kentucky Derby? There’d be nothing greater. I felt Desperado was my winner. He was still a baby when I got him. He hadn’t been trained how to run, but he could already fly on the grass, and he had good instincts. He didn’t like other horses. You don’t want a sociable horse. They stay in the pack. You want a horse who likes to run in front of all the other horses. Desperado was a killer.

That's How I see life now, when you've got too much potential they want you to stay in the pack, act like other as good soldiers as canon fodder, they frighten you, medicate you for it, put you in jail if you don't conform...

Don't let them put you down !

Post: #13

I think that the topic of family relations has to be viewed the way everything is - with balance and common sense.

1) Not all families are created equally. While blood is indeed thicker than water, you have to assess your family correctly. The range is massive:
a) rich, but psychopathic
b) rich, successful, high-IQ and loving and supporting (the best kind)
c) poor and psychopathic
d) run of the middle - with good sides and weaknesses, trying their best in life - the majority fits that bill
So you really have to take an honest look at your family - are they uplifting to you, generally supporting, maybe what you think is criticism is just tough love or maybe it is just something negative, what are their credentials in terms of business, spirituality, Red Pill etc?

Depending on that you will have to decide how much time you want to spend with your family and what you wish to share with them.

Similarly to friends you cannot share everything with everyone - there are some who are Blue Pill, have zero Game, some are negative about anything concerning opening an own business - depending on what friend it is you don't take the Blue Pill friend with anti-Game to a club or a daygame session in the city. He may be otherwise a great guy, just not able to appreciate this or help you on that front.

But keep in mind that it is better to not burn your bridges with your family, unless they are really the worst. Bankruptcy consultants agree - when the going gets tough, family members are usually the ones who will do their most to get you out of a tough spot - sure exceptions exist, but the rule is nonetheless the same.

Also keep an open mind about yourself, try to perceive yourself correctly, sometimes family dishes you out more truth - especially if everyone is kissing your ass like with celebrities. But most people have different problems.

And yes - after the success everyone will want to join your club and be your friend, but that is how the cookie crumbles.

Post: #14

I posted this a few hours in another thread but its very relevant:

https://www.dangerandplay.com/2012/11/14...-my-famil/

I treat family like everyone else. If they are a net negative? They don't get much of my time. No exceptions because "family."

Post: #15

The only opinion that matters is in the mirror.

Don't seek external validation.

You know what to do to succeed, now go put the work in. Don't worry about others opinions.

Post: #16

(04-27-2017 10:20 AM)The Beast1 Wrote:  From one black sheep to another, you need to let your accomplishments speak for yourself.

It sounds like you're on the crest of being launched to new levels. Don't compare yourself to others and don't use facebook for validation. Doing that will drain you and come off as insecure.

You've done good work so far, keep going and you'll get there.

Exactly.

Many of the people you meet in life will be haters if you are successful and they are not, simply because of that point. Get over it and make new contacts.

Post: #17

Your uncles' relationships with you are a product of their relationships with your father or mother. Your father's brothers will not show you more respect than they show him. So don't expect their support.

To be a successful entrepreneur, you need to cut all those who hold you back out of your life. Don't seek their approval. Spend your energy elsewhere.

Good luck.

Post: #18

If anyone in your life is holding you back, it doesn't matter if they're family or not, they need to be excised.