Post: #1

I seem to be stuck in the early phase of game. I am confident enough to open a conversation say in a bar or a club and keep it going for a few minutes but after that I run out of things to say and I'm not too sure how to escalate further. Any tips/resources?

Post: #2

This is something I need to work on, but I've been thinking about it and have some thoughts:

1) You need to try and make yourself conscious of the fact that you need to keep the conversation rather than slip into doubt and sliding away
2) Treat it as a challenge that you need to overcome to make yourself better

Sometimes people just don't give you anything to work with and it may not be because they don't want to talk to you. I was talking to a girl last week and for about 5-10 minutes she was giving me really short replies to everything I said. I was thinking "this is too much like hard work", but then cracked it, because I managed to hit on something they were interested in. Some cues here:

http://www.alexandrafranzen.com/2014/11/...ing-table/

I also read an interesting post about people having different ways of talking about things. Some people like to talk about ideas and concepts while others prefer details. e.g. if a girl is studying criminology:

Ideas/concepts: What made you study that? How do you think you will have an impact on the world with this degree? Where do you think it will take you in the future?
Details: What are your course modules? Is your teacher good? Have you fell asleep in any lectures?

My thought is when approaching and trying to open up conversation you need to be consciously focused on your intents and staying course. If the conversation is not going anywhere you need to focus on ways you can try to crack the ice. Then once you've cracked the ice you need to relax into being natural, but if conversations drys up you need to consciously think what you will do next.

Post: #3

Think of it like starting a lawn mower, you pull the cord and it kinda starts, but then dies out. You pull again, same thing. You pull a third time, and BAM the lawn mower is good to go for the rest of the day. So it may take several initiations of new topics to get her talking, but once you hit on something she likes, she'll open up (that's the lawn mower finally starting up in the analogy lol).

Also, a good drill to practice is to commit to is to stay in convo no matter what! So just keep talking about random things, anything, until SHE ends the convo. So MAKE her actually reject you. So many guys I feel like just walk off at the earliest little pause in the interaction. Remember, just cause you're taking steps to get rid of your approach anxiety doesn't mean she is. You could be the first person she talked to that day and needs to warm up too. So get that rejection!!

Finally, a fun little drill to do is to just start saying a sentence, and you'll find that your brain will automatically fill in the blank. For example, just say, "you know what I absolutely LOVE, ___". And your brain will fill in the blank. Another example, "hey, there's chair over there.... (this is the blank).... let's sit down, my feet are hurting from this race I ran last weekend."

Practice the 90/10 rule. This means that for the first part of the convo, you speak 90% of the time, she speaks 10%. As you start to get her interested, that will work it's way to 50/50.

Post: #4

I have exact same problem. I often start convo. Stay in set 15 minutes cold reading like some crazy fortune-teller but I'm not able to elicit any decent coversation from my target.

Post: #5

(04-30-2017 08:40 AM)creativetriangle Wrote:  I seem to be stuck in the early phase of game. I am confident enough to open a conversation say in a bar or a club and keep it going for a few minutes but after that I run out of things to say and I'm not too sure how to escalate further. Any tips/resources?

Try bouncing to a different venue and/or get her in isolation. Use your imagination. If you've built enough rapport, it should be relatively simple to get her to follow you somewhere else by saying something like, "Hey, have you ever seen (fill in the blank)? OK, I've got to show you." Don't ask for permission, lead the interaction.

Post: #6

Additional advices:
1. At the 1-2 minute mark, start light touching
Escalate briefly every 2 minutes (or more).
2. Work on your "things to say"
You might be a shy guy, or with a normal memory. Rehearse topics for discussions. You should have 3-4 at least.
3. After a few minutes you should start to move the conversation to her. Ask open ended questions (the forum is loaded with those). This usually help as you respond to stuff she says.
4. My favourite - be interested in what she has to say. Even if it is dumb, tell her to go on and explain "why". This gets her going and once to conversation is flowing you start the physical escalation.
5. Another favourite - plant your feet. Do not move away. Keep talking and asking questions. If she want to leave, it is up to her. You don't. This way she has "the burden" of ending the conversation.
You might get some "what are you looking at me for?" or "why are you still here?". This creates great opportunities to continue the conversation.

Post: #7

Kevin4usc makes a very good point.

Have stock sentences reserved for when you don't know what to say and let your brain go on autopilot to fill in the gaps. I like that. I'm going to have to try that at some point.

I'll add that whatever you talk to a girl about, you must BOTH be interested otherwise it's not going anywhere. The same goes with texting and talking to people in general really. I usually like to just talk about how attractive I am. Keep this brief. It's sounds stupid but if the girls thinks you're attractive then she will go for it. Then you switch and talk about her. Girls love talking about themselves. I try to stay away from schoolwork (if she's a student) because she's at a club. She doesn't want to worry about that big ass paper she has to hand in Monday. She wants to have fun.

Cheers, brother. Keep us posted

Post: #8

Use the environment around you.

Talk about the music. Talk about her drink. Talk about the scene, the crowd. Talk about other venues that may be good that night. Talk about the city you are in and cool events that just happened or you are excited about that are coming soon.

Stay in the moment. Lots of eye contact.