Post: #1

So it happens quite often to me. I dance with girl for e.g. 15 minutes having some conversation. She is having fun but speaks a little (they often speak a little) but then she says she must go with friend for a drink. Of course she does not come back. I see them 10 minutes later dancing. I take it as a rejection and do not reaproach. Lately I've been thinking that maybe I should. What is your experience with such situations?

Post: #2

When she says that she is going to get a drink that is your cue to ask her what she drinks, "I'm buying." Take control, Geek.

Post: #3

So you telling me that I confuswd two messages "fvck off" with "let's go for a drink"?

Post: #4

I am pretty new to all this, but it could be anything in any given situation with any given girl. That she danced with you for 15 minutes would suggest she would be open to getting to know you more. But you could just be a filler until something better comes along. You won't know unless you pursue it a bit further and get more positive or negative cues.

You need to focus a bit more on your goal and push through. I was out the other night and this girl came to sit next to me. I talked to her for a bit and then she said she wanted a drink. Asked her what she drank and that I'd buy it. Though she insisted she'd buy it. Talked with her a little more while ordering and then she went off to the toilet and told me to wait there. When she came back she went to stand a little further away from me and ordered another drink. Obviously I should have gone over again. She gave a positive cue. Don't know why she went to stand a little further away, like you don't know what your girl was thinking. Too drunk? Shit testing? Something else? But you need to keep pushing in these situations. Most guys will just slip away. Results will come from standing out and not being one of those guys who boost her ego by showing her attention, slip away, and let another guy to come in and hold her attention for a few minutes. Rinse & repeat.

My experience is limited in this area. I've just been flying in the wind with no theory, shrinking away and making myself small. But there are a few times in my life when I've visibly "made girls wet" and those times are when I was a bit domineering. Lots of women will say they don't like that, while they keep running towards guys like that and casting the undriven betas aside.

Also, I find people in general, but in particular women will say one thing but mean another. In particular with their shit tests, which can be seem like pushes but are just hurdles to test your worthiness. But as a more general example, I've heard a lot of women talk to their girls about how some sexist pig wolf whistled them, but what they are really saying is: I am desired. I am validated. My SMV is probably greater than yours.

Post: #5

I think she is just politely letting you know she's not interested. Waiting a kind amount of time then making an excuse to leave and try enjoy her night and find a better cock.

Don't be a stalker, approach another one.

Post: #6

Reapproaching is good. Use it to your advantage.

In fact you should be the one leaving the girl on your terms and then coming back. Make that the standard part of your game and try to see the difference it makes. If you notice none though then ditch it.

Girls leaving is normal thing. They want to do things around not just talk to one guy. It is natural so do not take it as a rejection.

Post: #7

(05-03-2017 07:24 AM)XXL Wrote:  Reapproaching is good. Use it to your advantage.

In fact you should be the one leaving the girl on your terms and then coming back. Make that the standard part of your game and try to see the difference it makes. If you notice none though then ditch it.

Girls leaving is normal thing. They want to do things around not just talk to one guy. It is natural so do not take it as a rejection.

I'm mostly going as a lone wolf. I see merit of leaving when you are with friends:
- she sees me as not needy
- she sees I have fun with my friends
- she sees I'm social

but as a lone wolf I would need to approach another girl in the mean time. If she accepts me that may create some jelousy which is to my advantage but when she rejects me and the first girl sees this I'm afraid that I would loose my chances with first one.

Post: #8

(04-30-2017 04:26 PM)gework Wrote:  When she says that she is going to get a drink that is your cue to ask her what she drinks, "I'm buying." Take control, Geek.

Don't do this. You are putting yourself in provider category.

Post: #9

If she walks away from you and does not return to you then she is most likely softly rejecting you.

On the topic though, excusing yourself to get a drink or something else to break away from the girl is always good as XXL touched upon. Break away on your terms so the door is always left open and you seem more casual and less eager. If you re-approach a girl that excused herself from you and never returned then you look desperate.

Talk to/dance with other girls.

Also don't offer buy her a drink. If she asks you to buy her a drink then eject.

Post: #10

I'm with XXL and Stalin.

Reapproaching is a big tool in my game.

If you spend 15 minutes working on a girl and she leaves, it will probably be useless to re-approach. She's either not interested or you weren't aggressive enough, but either way chances are stacked against you.

What I like to do is run very low commitment approaches early on the night. I'm talking one or two sentences each way and then I keep doing my thing. This way, I can assess their responses and when I bump into them later on, I have an easier "in" - they feel like they know me.

For example, I'll often see a girl on the dancefloor and go:
Me: Wow. Cool boots.
Girl: Haha. Thanks.
Me: I feel like such a boss wearing mine. Look.
Girl: Yeah, they're cool.
Me: Haha.

I'll do a little dance with them for a few seconds, or high five them, or smile. And then I step away.

Later on I can just go "Hey, boot girl" or "Check it out guys, this girl has the sweetest boots in the house", etc.

A few weeks ago I banged this girl after doing something very similar.

I was walking to the bathroom inside the club and saw her friends coming in (it was a bachelorette party and they all had the same tank top on). When I came back, they were still at the same spot, so I leaned against the bar and watched them.

A minute later one of the girls came to get a drink. I asked "Are you getting married?". She laughed and said it was her sister, to which I said "cool" and turned my back to her. She left and went back to them, I went back to my buddies on the other part of the club.

Ten minutes later the same girl is walking past me with two other ones and I cut my buddy mid-sentence and yell "Yo guys, this is the bride's sister!". They're all drunk and start whooping, I continue the chat talking about the wedding. 2 hours later I'm banging the bride's best friend.

This is also great because it can give you social proof even if you're alone (it looks like you're just being social). Like if later on you commit to an approach and you're chatting a girl up for 10min, when the girl with the boots walks past you and you go "Nice boots" and wink, you've just upped your SMV to both of them.

Post: #11

I saw an episode of "Seinfeld" where George discovers that when he leaves interactions he's involved in on a high note, he conditions people to be happier to see him whenever he's around. I decided to start doing this in real life as a test, and believe it or not, the shit works.





When you're talking to a girl in a bar and things are going well, it's tempting to try keeping it going as long as you can, but this isn't always the best idea, particularly if it's early in the night. Why? Because chances are she's going to eject first if you don't, and then you lose that momentum. So what do you do? Leave things on a high note, just like George. If you leave things on a high note, it makes it so much easier to re-approach later because you left her wanting more.

Instead of sticking to her like glue, or following her around like a little lost puppy -- have the balls to end things with her prematurely, leave her wanting more and revisit her later on. It can pay dividends.

Post: #12

I also go out solo a lot of the time and understand where you are coming from in these situations.

Sure "be the one to leave the interaction first" and Ringo's advice is GREAT, but that's not always going to happen. It's good to keep in mind, as is the option to try to get her to come somewhere with you (compliance, change of scenery). I was running into this type of thing a lot and what I try to currently do...around the 5-10minute mark is: grab her hand, start walking... "come outside with me to get some fresh air"... I find this a better move when I am solo than leaving & hope to find her later or dragging her to the bar for another drink.

I know how it feels to get sucked into a interaction and feel like the girl is really digging you, and then she runs off suddenly and you might be left wondering. It happens all the time, sometimes it is a soft rejection...other times the girl is probably meaning to come back to you but then gets distracted /her friend doesn't like you for some reason /when she comes back she sees you still standing there bewildered...

Honestly, there is really no hard and fast rule here, but I think you should try to re-approach if she leaves herself open to it AT ALL and try to push the interaction further. and report back

Post: #13

Quote:
but as a lone wolf I would need to approach another girl in the mean time. If she accepts me that may create some jelousy which is to my advantage but when she rejects me and the first girl sees this I'm afraid that I would loose my chances with first one.

Do not hit on girls. They will nothing to reject. You cam always shoot the shit with some random person for a couple of seconds right? Actually you should always be on the go anyway. I mean neven assume or expect anything. Be ready to move on any second at all times.

Try this. A couple times when you go out just try to socialize with people in general aka mingle. Be the one who is leaving or act as if you are about to bounce. After your approach or 10 minutes in. Even wheb you ae in and it starts going well look around for other opportunities. Catch eye contact with other girls in different groups. Engage them from distance so that you will know where to go next. Just as a experiment.

With that mindset you will free yourself from this neeeeeed to be welcomed causebfrom what you say I can sense that you play the game being afraid of girls. You are in raction to them. You need to shake it up and play YOUR game so to speak aka approach or leave or stay or whatever on your terms.

Post: #14

Reapproaching isn't a bad thing, but it depends on the interaction obviously. I was once slapped by a girl because I asked if she wanted to have a 5some. Obviously I would not reapproach that girl lmao. There was one time where I definitely should have reapproached a girl though; we kind of knew each other already but only engaged in small conversations. I saw her out one night and talked to her and it was smooth because we both felt like we knew each other. Not long after the conversation started we were making out. She then pulled the "I'm gonna go talk to my friends for a bit" card and went over. They looked back at me a few times and smiled which was a good thing but at the time I was impatient and got bored so I moved onto another girl, it turned out the next girl I talked to was one of her good friends and I ended up with neither. Oops.

Post: #15

(05-06-2017 12:37 PM)LeoneVolpe Wrote:  I saw an episode of "Seinfeld" where George discovers that when he leaves interactions he's involved in on a high note, he conditions people to be happier to see him whenever he's around. I decided to start doing this in real life as a test, and believe it or not, the shit works.





When you're talking to a girl in a bar and things are going well, it's tempting to try keeping it going as long as you can, but this isn't always the best idea, particularly if it's early in the night. Why? Because chances are she's going to eject first if you don't, and then you lose that momentum. So what do you do? Leave things on a high note, just like George. If you leave things on a high note, it makes it so much easier to re-approach later because you left her wanting more.

Instead of sticking to her like glue, or following her around like a little lost puppy -- have the balls to end things with her prematurely, leave her wanting more and revisit her later on. It can pay dividends.

Sounds good. Only bad thing is when she finds someone else in mean time or when I try with other girls she sees me rejected.

Post: #16

(05-10-2017 07:11 AM)EmotionalGeek Wrote:  

(05-06-2017 12:37 PM)LeoneVolpe Wrote:  I saw an episode of "Seinfeld" where George discovers that when he leaves interactions he's involved in on a high note, he conditions people to be happier to see him whenever he's around. I decided to start doing this in real life as a test, and believe it or not, the shit works.





When you're talking to a girl in a bar and things are going well, it's tempting to try keeping it going as long as you can, but this isn't always the best idea, particularly if it's early in the night. Why? Because chances are she's going to eject first if you don't, and then you lose that momentum. So what do you do? Leave things on a high note, just like George. If you leave things on a high note, it makes it so much easier to re-approach later because you left her wanting more.

Instead of sticking to her like glue, or following her around like a little lost puppy -- have the balls to end things with her prematurely, leave her wanting more and revisit her later on. It can pay dividends.

Sounds good. Only bad thing is when she finds someone else in mean time or when I try with other girls she sees me rejected.

You're looking at it the wrong way. You're not going to be talking to just one girl, are you? The idea is to talk to many girls and use the same technique with each of them. In doing so, you're increasing the odds at least one of them ends up coming through for you. Don't worry about her talking to other men, you'll be talking to other women, too. That's the point.