Post: #1

I just get this overwhelming feeling that there’s just nothing I can do I feel trapped in everyday having autism. This goes beyond not being able to get a girl it has completely destroyed my life. As feel I can’t do anything that want to do in life. I’m not content with living on disability for the rest of my life which looks like what fate has in store for me. Believe me I’ve tried to make my life better. I tried to join the army but they wouldn’t let me because of the Aspergers. I don’t find I’m progressing at all at my jujitsu because of coordination issues. I have really bad brain fog and can barely concentrate at getting my studies done. I don't mean to complain I know I have better than a lot of people but I just feel trapped inside my own the body. I've talked to a psychiatrist but it doesn't seem to be getting any better.

Post: #2

Everyone on the internet is a psychologist, psychiatrist, philosopher. But in reality, we're all fucked up in the head and all of us has been dealt our own problems that haunt us. Stop comparing yourself to others. Stop thinking you were put on this earth to do something special. Live life day by day, make good friends, and be open with people about your problems, in return they'll be honest with you about theirs instead of feeling the need to have some sort of alpha dick-measuring contest. Maybe you can find hope in using your disability money to travel the world, find happiness, and start a blog/forum to help other men with your disability. There are a lot of men out there with Asperger suffering looking around for someone to help them.

In summary: you feel trapped in your body, well so does everyone else. The difference is your disability helps you reach out and write about it instead of pretending you have life all figured out. Walk your own path, the world is open to you and I both, we meet in the middle regardless of disabilities and things that haunt us. That's the struggle that life really is.

Post: #3

We all have reasons to quit, complain, stop trying or justify our lack of effort and focus.

Or we can try harder.

I believe you can achieve success Wolfie. Don't give up.

Post: #4

(05-10-2017 04:43 AM)LINUX Wrote:  EMaybe you can find hope in using your disability money to travel the world, find happiness, and start a blog/forum to help other men with your disability. There are a lot of men out there with Asperger suffering looking around for someone to help them.

This 100%

There is a severe shortage of advice and someone out there who can talk to people with the same issues.

Even a YouTube channel talking on these issues I believe would go down well and would be another way to bring in some extra money.

Blog / soundcloud podcast / youtube.

I'm sure a couple guys on the forum with the same or similair issues wouldn't mind speaking on this if you approached them.

Stay strong brother we are all in the same boat but atleast we are all doing what we can to move forward.

Post: #5

(05-10-2017 04:43 AM)LINUX Wrote:  Everyone on the internet is a psychologist, psychiatrist, philosopher. But in reality, we're all fucked up in the head and all of us has been dealt our own problems that haunt us. Stop comparing yourself to others. Stop thinking you were put on this earth to do something special. Live life day by day, make good friends, and be open with people about your problems, in return they'll be honest with you about theirs instead of feeling the need to have some sort of alpha dick-measuring contest. Maybe you can find hope in using your disability money to travel the world, find happiness, and start a blog/forum to help other men with your disability. There are a lot of men out there with Asperger suffering looking around for someone to help them.

In summary: you feel trapped in your body, well so does everyone else. The difference is your disability helps you reach out and write about it instead of pretending you have life all figured out. Walk your own path, the world is open to you and I both, we meet in the middle regardless of disabilities and things that haunt us. That's the struggle that life really is.

Such a good post. If there's one forum member I definitely want to meet up with, it's LINUX.

Post: #6

Set yourself goals that will mean something to you, and don't bother to think about what they mean to anyone else.

Find the highest hill with trail leading up it that's in your region and make a goal to get to the top of it. Then find a bigger hill.

Buy a kayak and row a portion of the nearest shore line.

Some people conquer the social world and then look to personal goals. Other people do it the other way around, and you sound like you'd be better off building your self esteem by challenging yourself in ways that don't require other people's validation or even participation.

Post: #7

I don´t know a lot about Aspengers. But was your intention becoming BJJ world champion? There are people with better coordination, people with worse coordination, so there´s different speed of progress. Learning BJJ is not about few months, but years. But most of us do it not for becoming world champion, but for the joy from sports, keeping yorself fit, meeting other people, whatever. And in the end, you have already done progress - because most of the people even don´t try and only seek excuses. And you are already better than them. Keep going.

I think that your problem is that you don´t see any real outcome. But as I said, the fact you started doing something is big achievment, which most of the people are not capable of. And the fact, you can´t do something right now doesn´t mean you won´t be able to do it in 2 years.
Just set little and realistic goals. Little realistic goal isn´t getting girlfriend, becoming BJJ local champion and completely changing your life in 6 months. Set week goals like hitting gym and getting in some social situation every week and result will come when you won´t await them.

Post: #8

I'm a tad late to this thread, but I would suggest you start a daily meditation habit, I think it would help with a lot of different aspects of what you mentioned.

I have a tendency towards getting pretty bad anxiety (might be a genetic thing, since I know of family members on both sides who have it to varying degrees), and sometimes when my habits slip (i.e. when I stop meditation and gym), it comes back.

My own issue stems from worrying and spinning my wheels about things that are already in the past and that I cannot change, and when it gets really bad it stops me from doing the important things that I do in fact have control over.

When I meditate regularly I feel a lot calmer, more centered, and most importantly, I find it a lot easier to set aside whatever irrational worries that I could have grinding away at me in the darker corners of my mind. Note that by irrational I mean once again, things that I have no control over. Instead I focus much better on my current actions, and doing that to the best of my abilities without having this nagging voice in the back of my head gnawing away at me.

Quote:I just get this overwhelming feeling that there’s just nothing I can do I feel trapped in everyday having autism. This goes beyond not being able to get a girl it has completely destroyed my life.

You are currently in a situation where you are spending a lot of time spinning your wheels on something that is beyond your control, and making yourself feel like shit in the process. Ask yourself: is this rational? As much as both you and I have a tendency to forget sometimes, there is no real reason to feel bad about things: we live in a world where we have access to so many amazing things- nature, music, literature and more, and we have been blessed to live in a situation where all of the essentials of life (i.e. food, shelter) are always guaranteed. This is a privilege that only a very small minority of people in the history of humanity has been lucky to experience, look at how small our own problems really are!

As tough as it sounds, you need to learn to accept the hand that you have been dealt, rather than constantly beating yourself up over it. Focus on yourself my man, on improving step by step at your own pace. Forum member RaphaelD had a great post about this:

Quote: Focusing on other’s achievements and comparing them to your own is a fantastic way to be completely miserable. In extreme cases it can lead to depression and a sense of purposelessness or hopelessness. What’s the point of even trying, you might say, if you can never be as good at X as Y.

...

Every man lives his own story. When you find yourself facing a feeling of inadequacy, remember that the only story that matters is the one that you tell with your own life. Yes, look to other men for inspiration and learn what you can from them, but stop it there. Keep your focus on yourself, your own life and your own story. And for every action you take, think to yourself, “does this fit into my own life story?” If not, then throw it away – it’s not for you.

http://fireandforget.co/2017/02/28/stop-...en-better/

Reading this and understanding this is one thing, but internalizing it is another: that's where I believe that meditation can really help you with this.

I'm not much of an expert on meditation, but if you want to make a start I would recommend the following steps: sit yourself down in a comfortable, straight-backed posture (if you can sit down cross-legged comfortably for 15-20 minutes at a time, great, else just sit down on a simple straight-backed chair). Then, starting with a 5 minute period of time, close your eyes and try to focus all of your attention on the sensations of your breath, the sensation of it going in and out of your nose, feeling the coolness of the air as it travels up your nasal cavity, the expansion and contraction of your abdomen as the air enters and leaves. Due to the way that our minds have currently been conditioned, you will quickly find your mind distracted and wandering, this is only to be expected. When you realize that this occurs, simply redirect your attention to your breathing again. You will at first find it difficult to keep your mind from wandering, don't be frustrated about this, this is simply to be expected, but with time it will become better.

Then after a week or two of doing this every day in the morning, extend the time to 10 minutes. Another couple weeks later extend it to 15 minutes. After this point in time feel free to spend however much time you like meditating each day, but I find that 15 minutes is generally the minimum that I personally need to really relax my mind for the rest of the day. I would recommend you do some research online about the different kinds of meditation that you can do, you don't have to follow the method that I outlined (although it's certainly a good introduction to meditation), so if you find something that you like better then feel free.

There is also a free meditation app that you can download for your smart phone- it sets a timer for your meditation and can give soft sound at certain intervals to help you return back to meditating if your mind is wandering.

If you keep it up for some time I promise that you will feel a difference: it's something that ramps up slowly to the point that you don't really notice any drastic changes- more mental stamina (I focus a lot better when I am consistently meditating), and much less anxiety- just generally a much more centered, grounded life experience. I notice it the most whenever I stop meditating and I ask myself why I'm feeling so shitty, and then I realize just how much this habit was doing for me.

So try it out for some time and see what you think man, and let us know how things are progressing.

P.s.

I would recommend you check out a book called 'The Power of Now', by Eckhart Tolle. It's recommended all over the manosphere, and helps explain a lot of the things that I've brought up in this post about acceptance and so on. They should sell copies of this book in any major bookstore in your area, I would really advise you to buy a physical copy and leaf your way through it. Please do read this book my friend, I really think it can help.

Post: #9

When you mention brain fog, I immediately thought "what is his diet like?" There are clear links of modern wheat to amplifying psychological disorders. It has opioid-like compounds in it that affect brain chemistry, not to mention the gluten and gliaden proteins which destroy your body's ability to absorb nutrients from food. I would highly recommend watching "the 12 bad foods" linked in my signature and note what you're eating on that list then make a commitment to cutting it out. I've made these changes, especially no wheat, and have lost weight even without extra exercise plus have a calmer mental state and more consistent energy. You also really need a quality supplement regime to put the essential vitamins and minerals in your system. Both eliminating negative influences and adding positive nutrients are essential. PM if you want more assistance.

Edit: I'm a fan of meditation too as thebassist suggests but if you don't make sure you are fueling your body properly you won't have the internal support to want to sit down and meditate. It's as much about meditation as getting control over your breathing rhythm and heart rate. Look up the great TEDx talk by Dr Alan Watkins, available on YouTube, "Being Brilliant Every Single Day." Proper deep and rhythmic breathing needs to become a reflex but it isn't something we are taught. I had to spend years with intense anxiety and lots of mental anguish before discovering the benefits of meditation but even more directly the physiological reason meditation works - stopping activity smd focusing on breathing. No mantras needed!

Post: #10

Is there anything you are good at? If you have Aspergers you're probably good at something because your brain is over-focused in that area. If so just focus on that, try to monetize it etc. If you can get money there is a chick somewhere who's willing to pick you over her local options.

Post: #11

Hey buddy, first off props to you for getting out there and doing the Jui Jitsu and stuff, that's a step in the right direction in itself. Like some other posters have said we all have issues, some of us are introverts, some have anxiety, some struggle with depression. I sometimes feel like man so and so has everything so together but really everyone is a shit show, everyone is wierd, some are just better at acting and appearing "normal".

I'd suggest listening to some Jim Rohn, Less Brown, Art Williams, etc. Les Brown was diagnosed mentally retarded as a kid and he's a multi multi multi millionaire, intelligent guy, great public speaker.

Don't try to be anyone else. Will you ever be this really charismatic great smooth speaker, probably not but who cares, be the best you that you can be and figure out what strengths and skillsets you have and double down on those.

I get its hard but the worst thing you can do is giveup, feel sorry for yourself, stay in your comfort zone.

One thing I'd suggest you do is go on a site called 16 personalitites and take a personality test. I think it will help you understand yourself much better.

Post: #12

I've been doing a lot of thinking in I think I really want to get into the music business as i feel it would give me purpose in my life. I can play the guitar somewhat well but I feel I'd be out class by the people who have had years of experience. I was wondering it has anyone had any success starting a music career in their twenties. I'm willing to put in the time and effort. As I'm just going to school and have no job right now so I can practice for a couple hours every day. I know a few people on the spectrum who are musicians and they all have decent lives because of it

Post: #13

Can you sing? If you can sing and play guitar (both well enough), and you can get someone to let you do it in their public venue, you can get laid just from that.

Post: #14

(05-12-2017 01:02 PM)Phoenix Wrote:  Can you sing? If you can sing and play guitar (both well enough), and you can get someone to let you do it in their public venue, you can get laid just from that.

This. There's a guy locally who puts on shows with local talent and often his autistic son. It's really helped his social confidence, and he's also a pretty good musician due to his obsessive practise.

Just don't go thinking you can make a career out of it. I sometimes jam with musicians who are the top 10% of talent in a certain British genre. God knows why they let me in the room Anyway, they've never got any money, and I have.

Like the saying says- So you want to be a paid musician? Sign on, you crazy diamond!

Post: #15

I'll reiterate what I said in another thread: you are on the internet too damn much. If you were serious about trying to fix your problems, you would cancel your internet account and not let yourself get it back until you'd banged a 6.

Since you're not doing that, I'm going to assume you're just posting this for attention.

Post: #16

The IDF might accept you, autistic or not.

See if there's a means of connecting with other people who are similar to you.

And you can easily be competent enough in music, because most songs that are popular are ridiculously easy to play (IE anything Chainsmokers)

Post: #17

(05-10-2017 04:04 AM)TheWhiteWolf Wrote:  I just get this overwhelming feeling that there’s just nothing I can do I feel trapped in everyday having autism. This goes beyond not being able to get a girl it has completely destroyed my life. As feel I can’t do anything that want to do in life. I’m not content with living on disability for the rest of my life which looks like what fate has in store for me. Believe me I’ve tried to make my life better. I tried to join the army but they wouldn’t let me because of the Aspergers. I don’t find I’m progressing at all at my jujitsu because of coordination issues. I have really bad brain fog and can barely concentrate at getting my studies done. I don't mean to complain I know I have better than a lot of people but I just feel trapped inside my own the body. I've talked to a psychiatrist but it doesn't seem to be getting any better.

Been there.


For starters:

I'd suggest trying to make sure both nutrition and no-fap are on point. Also do a regular medical screening. Some of the causes can be physiological rather than psychological.


This is also an unconventional suggestion, but if you're having difficulty putting on even normal social interactions think about trying to play some Dungeons and Dragons or another character, tabletop RPG. It's a great stepping stone because you'll get used to acting "in character" in front of other people.

And that's most of what people do anyway. I just graduated from a top tier US MBA program, so I know a lot of people who are going to be future corporate executives. Trust me when I say that probably 90% of their smooth, polished, look is simply a bullshit persona they put on to act out in front of others. Give them four beers and the girl who was voted "most likely to be a CEO" will be (was, actually....) crying about how much of a failure she feels like because of how many of the guys have wives hotter and younger than she is.

If you can learn how to act out a fictional character in a Dungeons and Dragons, then acting out a character that actually is part you in real life will be easy.

Post: #18

I'm surprised

1) Asperger's is a real thing

And 2) the military has access to this info

I don't think they have access to your medical file, you probably volunteered that info. I could be wrong but I believe your medical information is only kept with a handful of medical offices you have been to.

It's Canada man, you are going to have to fake it until you make it. Me personally, I couldn't make it over there in TO when I faked everything about myself. I mean literally, everything. I lived there all my life and nothing worked out for me and I tried really hard in all avenues.

If you have a BA, I suggest teaching English overseas in Korea or Japan for a while until you can figure out your next move. Or do something with YouTube and get paid. Maybe apply to become a police officer and don't volunteer any of your medical info. It's​ competitive as it is without​ you shooting yourself in the foot

Post: #19

This idea may seem way out there, but just because your army turned you down doesn't mean you can't be a soldier. The French Foreign Legion takes men that have been medically disqualified by their home nations. They will completely own you for 5 years and that's not some easy shit to get through. But it would be a great adventure which is what it sounds like you need. And after your service, they'll give you citizenship and a French passport. They'll even give you a new identity when you join if you wish.

Post: #20

I seriously think asbergers is not even a handicap compared with what the rest of us have.

I'm hapa, 5'9", had no friends, was also poor af with dysfunctional parents and I'm pretty sure I'm an undiagnosed ADHD or some type of high functioning autist myself but I slipped through the cracks because diagnosing it wasnt popular throughout the 80's and 90's. When I read the DSM criteria it does look like I would have qualified back then. I had to learn how to focus and pick women up as a adult before I got laid and believe me it was messy.

I knew I would end up collecting welfare or living in my parents' house washing dishes for a job so I said fuck it, I'm leaving. I used to steal 10 and 20 dollar notes from my dad's wallet to go out, now I send him 3k in allowances each month.

Asbergers is not real if you can overcome it with learning, it's a hallucination. It's a joke compared to men missing limbs, paralyzed or have as actual death sentences and im pretty sure they would love trading lives with you. Honestly I think it was made up so doctors and psychologists could artificially make work and further enrich themselves.

Post: #21

My good friend I roll around the local beaches and party scene with is a pretty quirky guy with aspergers. Me and him vibe together well so he makes a good wingman.

He claims to have cured himself of aspergers by literally forcing a conversation with anyone at any time. I mean to the point where I just wonder off and chuckle every time he has to chat up a random person for no reason.

The point is you can get used to the asbergers if you just go out and be really social with people. It may be harder to pick up on the basic social signals people give off but it's still worth it. Just get out there and start getting used to chatting people up irregardless of hotness or gender.

Post: #22

(05-16-2017 01:47 PM)SteezeySteve Wrote:  The point is you can get used to the asbergers if you just go out and be really social with people. It may be harder to pick up on the basic social signals people give off but it's still worth it. Just get out there and start getting used to chatting people up irregardless of hotness or gender.

This is one of those rare cases where the clickbaity "ten ways to become a better communicator", "ten ways to do better in meetings"-type articles you get from Business Insider or Forbes might actually be valuable.

Also, while I wouldn't quite suggest the French Foreign Legion just yet, an adventure is a great idea to help you feel less trapped. Maybe find some wide open spaces or a city that does not at all resemble your home to give yourself a few days to reset.

What does the Brain Fog mean here? Are you just feeling fuzzy, tired, or are you struggling with intrusive anxiety/depression thoughts?

Post: #23

(05-14-2017 01:16 PM)BrewDog Wrote:  This idea may seem way out there, but just because your army turned you down doesn't mean you can't be a soldier. The French Foreign Legion takes men that have been medically disqualified by their home nations. They will completely own you for 5 years and that's not some easy shit to get through. But it would be a great adventure which is what it sounds like you need. And after your service, they'll give you citizenship and a French passport. They'll even give you a new identity when you join if you wish.

FWIW in five years...

Post: #24

I’ve found a guy online who claims he can cure autism and other neurological disorders. His name is Dr. Edward Group and he specializes in holistic treatments. He's been on the Alex Jones show and has a degree from MIT so I think he's legit. His services are pretty expensive though I can afford it but I don’t know if I should spend my money elsewhere. Sorry I focus on this the so much but it's really detriment in my life in preventing me from doing the things I want to accomplice in my life. i will take the social awkwardness if he can get rid of brain fog and the executive functioning issues

Post: #25

(05-17-2017 01:00 PM)TheWhiteWolf Wrote:  I’ve found a guy online who claims he can cure autism and other neurological disorders. His name is Dr. Edward Group and he specializes in holistic treatments. He's been on the Alex Jones show and has a degree from MIT so I think he's legit. His services are pretty expensive though I can afford it but I don’t know if I should spend my money elsewhere. Sorry I focus on this the so much but it's really detriment in my life in preventing me from doing the things I want to accomplice in my life. i will take the social awkwardness if he can get rid of brain fog and the executive functioning issues

Re: bolded portion: Those being what?

You're begging to be fleeced, man...

Save your money.

Stop looking for the easy fucking answers.

No one else can fix social awkwardness for you. It takes work. Why are you so averse to working?