Post: #1

Damn I wish I was more articulate. I'm going to try my best to explain this.

I was just thinking, there are 2 types of guys (for the purpose of this discussion). There's the super alpha, local celebrity, glamorous kind of guy who has a certain vibe about him and which is superficially very attractive to women. Maybe it's a PUA, maybe it's a DJ, or whatever.

Then there's the ordinary guy who is pretty cool but doesn't have the same impact as the first type. He could be very easily overlooked especially by women who are too superficial. His coolness isn't overt, and you can only really appreciate it over a long time or if you take the time to know him.

I've heard many times about the first type going from being high status to kind of pussywhipped, or just somehow brought down to levels of ordinariness that you wouldn't have ever expected to see. For example some PUAs (Mystery comes to mind, unless I'm mistaken). They go from wow to what the fuck. It's almost like it was all an act, or even if it wasn't, they couldn't keep it up.

I believe that it's the second type that is truly cool. They're cool enough (if only women would notice), but they're also ordinary enough for there to not be a massive change once he settles with a girl. It's hard to imagine the celebrity / DJ / bad boy types being able to be like that once they've got a wife and kids. It's not really realistic. And since they don't know how to just be normal, I think that's why they tend to fall. There's no middle ground that they're familiar with.

But the ordinary guy is more balanced. It's not hard to be reasonably cool while being normal. The ordinary guy doesn't feel the need to be anything special, because he's counting on (or hoping to) find a girl who has her priorities in the right order. There's nothing wrong with wanting a bit of something special as long as you understand that everyday normal life isn't glamorous.

As visual and sex crazed as men are, I think ultimately we know when to appreciate a balance between the sweet stuff and the everyday stuff. Many women don't (or perhaps they do but they're too spoiled), although I do believe that with a good upbringing almost all can learn to understand what's important, without necessarily having to go without a certain amount of whatever might turn them on or excite them. But you can't be excited 24/7. Dishes will always need to be washed and beds will always need to be made, kids will need raising and family happiness is easy to create. The super alpha lifestyle and image isn't meant to be forever, it's meant to be a seasoning to normality. No one is that special.

I think ultimately it's the ordinary guy with a certain amount of non-immediately-obvious coolness who is the true, genuine, long lasting alpha. And it's far easier to maintain frame when it's the real you.

I'm not sure what point I'm trying to make here but it's just an interesting thought that I had a moment ago while thinking about hypergamy. I hope I've explained it reasonably well.

Post: #2

I think your entire premise is wrong and this is the result of too much thinking and not enough living. Everyone is susceptable to changing and plenty of people from all walks of life never change.

Post: #3

I agree with what you're saying. There are probably some super alphas who take a look around at a certain point and can mellow out and adapt as necesarry. But it's not a sustainable position and one cannot get away with the same behavior for 20-30 years.

I think you hit the nail on the head with non immediately obvious coolness. You always need to have the power to charm but know that being a background non entity is very necessary and to be commended around women and children and even a group of friends. Otherwise you can come across as the Robin Williams type and just end up being obnoxious. Being abke but confident enough to not feel any need to be the center of action is legit and long term alpha.

Post: #4

The problem is the overt overlooked not-obvious coolness is unfortunately just that, overlooked...Unless you find a way to express this aspect of your personality to women from the get-go it will be completely lost to them in favor of the suave bad boy or dancing monkey type. Women these days don't really want to take the time to get to know you unless you are aggressively outgoing from the start, you'll just fade into the background noise with all the average betas (*in my experience). I've struggled with it my whole life - I have plenty of interesting skills, hobbies, experiences, stories and aspects of my personality that simply just don't come out (intentional and unintentionally, I wish I was a little more charismatic in that sense) early in an interaction. I'm more introverted but have decent social skills, and still have a ways to go with regard to charming women quickly.

I think guys that fall into this category (like me) however do very well when they do manage to hook a girl - many girls I've been with have fallen hard quickly and I find the post-bang game really natural and easy to manage. Don't really go for long-term stuff though. The early stages of approach and attraction will always be the biggest hurdles personally and something I have to keep working at constantly.

To a degree, you might be onto something with what you said about alphas falling from grace, but I think this has more to do with naturals or very good looking guys that never have to work for it and understand the underlying psychology of what they are doing. Lord knows we see plenty of paper alpha celebrities acting like complete fools and getting wrung out by their women.

Post: #5

(05-23-2017 12:54 AM)Fender_Bender Wrote:  The problem is the overt overlooked not-obvious coolness is unfortunately just that, overlooked...Unless you find a way to express this aspect of your personality to women from the get-go it will be completely lost to them in favor of the suave bad boy or dancing monkey type. Women these days don't really want to take the time to get to know you unless you are aggressively outgoing from the start, you'll just fade into the background noise with all the average betas (*in my experience). I've struggled with it my whole life - I have plenty of interesting skills, hobbies, experiences, stories and aspects of my personality that simply just don't come out (intentional and unintentionally, I wish I was a little more charismatic in that sense) early in an interaction. I'm more introverted but have decent social skills, and still have a ways to go with regard to charming women quickly.

I think guys that fall into this category (like me) however do very well when they do manage to hook a girl - many girls I've been with have fallen hard quickly and I find the post-bang game really natural and easy to manage. Don't really go for long-term stuff though. The early stages of approach and attraction will always be the biggest hurdles personally and something I have to keep working at constantly.

To a degree, you might be onto something with what you said about alphas falling from grace, but I think this has more to do with naturals or very good looking guys that never have to work for it and understand the underlying psychology of what they are doing. Lord knows we see plenty of paper alpha celebrities acting like complete fools and getting wrung out by their women.

Family. A girl who dreams of family and happiness and who doesn't want to get caught up and distracted by any other nonsense, that's the kind of girl to go for, and that's the kind of girl who will notice someone like you (and me).

I don't see the point of wasting so much energy creating a caricature that isn't going to last, and isn't who I really am anyway. No one is really that alpha. It's hyper reality. It's MSG.

Post: #6

The " cool guys" that you are talking about find what the culture they live in thinks is cool and then that try to copy that as long as they can, but that never works becuase it is an act and sooner or later everbody will find that out, they do what other people think is cool because they want to be liked, but you can't try to be cool or you will either fake it as long as you can or look like a try-hard. Anything is alpha anything can be "cool" what that really depends on is you, are you being genuine? Would you be acting the same way if you were by your self vs out with freinds?