Post: #1

I wanted to try working a bit over the summer to get some experience, try it out and have something to put on my resume. I managed to find a job that takes in teenagers over the summer so that's where I'll be working the coming weeks.

So the way it's set up is they've hired a group of 4 teenagers, 2 guys and 2 girls, and we are supposed to do various tasks throughout the weeks we work there. Nothing really interesting. I have never worked or had a " job " before though so it's all kinda new to me but I kind of just learn as I go. Today was the first day I met the other 3 people I'm going to be working with and it was also the first day we actually got to work.

When I got there, the other 3 people who I'm going to work with over the summer had already arrived and had taken a seat at their table to listen to the morning meeting that everyone at that workplace had every morning. First thing I did as I came, I asked I missed anything or if I'm late. I tried to make some small talk, I asked where everyone goes to school & how old everyone is and stuff. Now keep in mind, when I got there they were completely quiet just looking at the table / their phones so I tried to fix the awkward mood by getting some conversation going. I did my best but I just couldn't get them talking. They seemed pretty nervous, as was I which is understandable but they just gave short answers to everything and to be honest some of the questions I asked were pretty bad but I thought it's better than having to spend the coming month in awkwardness 24/7. I wasn't really prepared though and I thought the rest of the group would be more willing to talk and join in on the conversation.

So anyways, what would you do in a situation like this? What's the optimal thing to do? How do you keep up conversation here? Like what would I ask or talk about? I want to just try and make the group more comfortable because it would kind of suck to spend all this time working together in just plain awkward silence.

Post: #2

You did as much as you could, at least you tried to engage your co-workers, its just too bad that they're socially inept weirdos who can't put their phones down for a minute to talk to you. They'll come around eventually, at some point they'll have to put their phones down and actually talk to the other people in your group.

Post: #3

You weren't awkward, they were. You had the balls to step up and open your mouth. Very hard to do in that environment by the way. So don't feel bad. Feel good.

That said, there is a difference between being awkward and being try hard. Very thin line but it exists. I think while you had the balls, you came across try hard which could be presumed to be awkward.

Suggestion: don't say much. Ask a few questions here and there and save the rest till you work with them closely. Even when you do that, be careful NOT to be too personal (e.g., where they're from, what they do etc). Make statements about how task a is boring but task b is what you like because z. That type of thing is called game. If you ask top many questions early, it's like you are over valuing them.

These are young people man, I mean teenagers. I would give different advice in a more professional environment.

Post: #4

I have an answer which you will have every right to say "that's not what I asked you." But that's why they call me Off The Reservation:

It might be hard to find but why don't you look for a job that is around MEN you can learn something from. You don't need to learn chisme as they say in Spanish. If you are busy learning something cool you won't need to ask about small talk.

Maybe its something you aspire to. If I were your age I would be down at the racetrack asking for a job and be willing to do any work so that I could be around racecars and racecar drivers instead of teenagers.

Just a thought.

Post: #5

(06-19-2017 07:44 PM)Cobra Wrote:  You weren't awkward, they were. You had the balls to step up and open your mouth. Very hard to do in that environment by the way. So don't feel bad. Feel good.

That said, there is a difference between being awkward and being try hard. Very thin line but it exists. I think while you had the balls, you came across try hard which could be presumed to be awkward.

Suggestion: don't say much. Ask a few questions here and there and save the rest till you work with them closely. Even when you do that, be careful NOT to be too personal (e.g., where they're from, what they do etc). Make statements about how task a is boring but task b is what you like because z. That type of thing is called game. If you ask top many questions early, it's like you are over valuing them.

These are young people man, I mean teenagers. I would give different advice in a more professional environment.

I think I can relate alot to what you said about trying too hard. I think alot of the time I try too hard when I meet new people and such, and sometimes I can be a bit over the top which might come across as me trying to impress them or something.

We went around handing out a bunch of flyers today in differet neighborhoods. We were dealt into 2 groups with 2 people in both groups, and we would go around just dealin em out. I was in the same group as one of the girls there and we basically walked around the entire day just handing out flyers and putting em in peoples mailboxes. Plenty of time to talk. Honestly it was a perfect opportunity to practice conversating and game in general and I did try, but I just didn't know what to say man. I guess a combination of anxiety and not being the best at talking gave me a bit of a hard time. And honestly, it is a bit intimidating to try and talk to someone who you just met and have to spend the entire day with just walking around. I still tried though. I tried talking and asking her about her school, I mentioned some things about the neighborhood we were in, made some jokes about it being full of rich angry old people, sort of teased / joked a bit when she managed to hand out the flyers quicker than me and actually got her talking a bit.

All in all didn't go too bad, but I am definately not the best conversationalist hehe. I feel like I deserve a bit of slack though because I'm going from being a full time gaming nerd to actually going out and trying stuff so naturally I'm a bit awkward. Also I think if I had managed to come across a bit more smooth and eased the mood the first time we met that wouldve set the frame for the rest of our time, while instead it was kind of awkward and that set the frame if you know what I mean.

Anyways appreciate the response!

Post: #6

(06-19-2017 07:46 PM)Off The Reservation Wrote:  I have an answer which you will have every right to say "that's not what I asked you." But that's why they call me Off The Reservation:

It might be hard to find but why don't you look for a job that is around MEN you can learn something from. You don't need to learn chisme as they say in Spanish. If you are busy learning something cool you won't need to ask about small talk.

Maybe its something you aspire to. If I were your age I would be down at the racetrack asking for a job and be willing to do any work so that I could be around racecars and racecar drivers instead of teenagers.

Just a thought.

I live in a pretty small town and I don't know of any jobs that would be considered more masculine or actually interesting that would offer me a simple job to work at just over the summer. My options were pretty limited and honestly I just wanted to try something other than school and meet some people.

Post: #7

I replied to your duplicate thread, but I figure I can add some stuff here too.

I can relate to your situation since I have trouble conversing with people myself. I find the biggest challenge is not judging what you're saying or what the other person is saying. Chances are there are plenty of things that you can say or do, but then somewhere in your mind a nefarious spark lights up in your brain and says, "don't say that it will sound stupid. will the other person get angry at me if I say this? I'll feel awkward if no one laughs at that joke, so don't say it" and etc. All these little judgements stifle you, and it can be more of an obstacle when your mind makes the same judgements when listening to other people.

And if you're looking to meet new people, I'd recommend taking an improv class or seeing if you can join an improv group through meetup.com. It helps teach you to go along with what comes out of your mouth and how to work with other people's choices.

Post: #8

Some people are not all that interesting