Post: #1

I shit you not...

Quote:Woman trapped in window trying to retrieve poo after Tinder date

5 September 2017

A woman who threw her poo out of her date's toilet window because it "would not flush" had to be rescued after she got stuck trying to retrieve it.

The amateur gymnast was on a first date with Bristol student Liam Smith when she "panicked" and threw the faeces out of the window.

It did not land in the garden, but became wedged between two non-opening windows.

After climbing in head first after it, she became wedged.

Mr Smith had to call the fire service for help.

The story appeared on a crowdfunding page, set up by the University of Bristol student.

Mr Smith, who is raising funds to fix his broken window, wrote that he was on a Tinder date with the woman and they went back to the shared house he lives in.

"We'd had a really nice evening," he said. "We'd had a meal at a well-known chicken restaurant, had a few beers and then gone back to mine for a bottle of wine and a film."

He said the woman went to the toilet and when she came back she had a "panicked look in her eye" and told him what she had done.

He said the toilet window opened into a narrow gap separated by another double glazed window.

"It was into this twilight zone that my date had thrown her poo," he said.

He went to find a hammer to smash the window, but she decided to "climb in head first" after the "offending package" and became jammed.

"I was starting to grow concerned, so I called the fire brigade and once they had composed themselves, they set to work removing her from the window."

Although the woman was rescued unharmed, Mr Smith said his bathroom window was destroyed.

"I'm not complaining, they did what they had to do," he said.

"Problem is, I've been quoted north of £300 to replace the window and as a postgraduate student, that is a significant chunk of my monthly budget."

Mr Smith originally set a crowdfunding target of £200, but has already raised more than £1,200.

He said he and his date had decided to split the extra cash between two charities, one supporting firefighters and another that builds and maintains flushing toilets in developing countries.

Unsurprisingly, the woman does not want to be named but Mr Smith said he had seen her since and "who knows what the future holds".

"We had a lovely night on the second date but it's too early to say if she's the one. But we got on very very well and she's a lovely girl," he said.

"And we've already got the most difficult stuff out of the way first."

Avon Fire and Rescue service confirmed it had received a call and freed a woman trapped between external and double glazing.

It also confirmed that a "window was broken in the process".

http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-bristol-41167296

Post: #2

That's a pretty shitty situation to be in.

Post: #3

Did he bang?

Post: #4

(09-06-2017 01:47 PM)YoungBlade Wrote:  Did he bang?

The guy in this situation looks like a British Zack Gallafinakis.

Post: #5

That's a "Top that Motherfuckers" first date story.

Post: #6

Quote:"We had a lovely night on the second date but it's too early to say if she's the one. But we got on very very well and she's a lovely girl," he said.

Beta.

Post: #7

(09-06-2017 02:38 PM)NomadofEU Wrote:  

Quote:"We had a lovely night on the second date but it's too early to say if she's the one. But we got on very very well and she's a lovely girl," he said.

Beta.

Probably:

Post: #8

Cool story bro.

Post: #9

Shame there's no picture. I wanted to do a WB rating!!

Post: #10

It was clearly a shit test.

Post: #11

(09-06-2017 03:36 PM)Thomas the Rhymer Wrote:  It was clearly a shit test.

As times go on and welfare societies degenerate, expect everything to become more blunt, literal and less nuanced. Including shit tests.

Look at dancing from 100 years ago and from today. Dancing is always a mating ritual - but in old times it was covered behind polite gestures, fine attires, cultural music and a sophisticated code of conduct. Now we have men rubbing their erections in woman's ass as dancing.

The same with shit tests. If western society doesn't break down and beta male created singularity comes providing universal basic welfare needs - expect this to happen on massive scale - women throwing shit to test men, pissing on men and their property just to test their reaction. Men also would not stop with having anal sex or spanking to appear dominant enough to women - future players will literally have to shit on future sluts like Dubai sheikhs , smear shit into their hair, to give them a compliance test, to be the alpha male. Humanity will revert to monkeys marking their territory and their partners with their excretions.

Post: #12

(09-06-2017 04:10 PM)Mage Wrote:  - future players will literally have to shit on future sluts like Dubai sheikhs

Time to use the "ohshit" emoticon:

In any case, when I first saw the title, I thought it would turn out to be about a Dubai porta potty, trying to flee from some avaricious sheik's palace through the window, and getting stuck... A common occurrence in the Emirates, I guess...

Post: #13

The real telling thing here is that a woman who took a shit so huge as to clog a mans toilet, and then compound that problem by throwing it out the window and then getting stuck in said window gets a a 2nd date.

Good times we live in.

Post: #14

How did she get the shit out of the toilet? I can only assume she scooped the shit with her hands! Nasty!

Post: #15

(09-06-2017 03:36 PM)Thomas the Rhymer Wrote:  It was clearly a shit test.

Getting in a thread late and someone's told your line.

Post: #16

"Amateur gymnast"

LOL---love the dry, English humor.

Post: #17

When LMR goes too far.

Post: #18

To be fair to her, clogging up the toilet with a big turd at some stranger's house is never a good spot to be in.

Post: #19

(09-06-2017 08:46 PM)nomadbrah Wrote:  To be fair to her, clogging up the toilet with a big turd at some stranger's house is never a good spot to be in.

If you're going to go so far as to stick your hand in it, you could clear the jam, wash your hands, and never tell anyone you did it, until the day you die.

Few talk about this.

Edit: I've been posting a lot today. Is this shit posting?

Post: #20

Not the funniest thing I've seen today but it's definitely number two.

Post: #21

What a load of crap!

Post: #22

So who called the media about this story? Seems like an ad.

Post: #23

Gone are the days of Sex and the City when the Carrie Bradshaw character said that she waited for 6 months in a relationship with a new boyfriend before she took a dump in his apartment. Now women don't care and take a shit before the bang.

Though to be fair - women don't do it, when it is a high-value man. They literally don't give a shit when the guy is at best worth a pity/boredom/situational bang.

Post: #24

(09-07-2017 01:53 AM)Zelcorpion Wrote:  Though to be fair - women don't do it, when it is a high-value man. They literally don't give a shit when the guy is at best worth a pity/boredom/situational bang.

This one certainly did.

God save us from people who mean well. -storm

Post: #25

Come on, like we haven't all flung a few chocolate logs around on first dates. And then crawled after them and got stuck. Right?