Post: #1

I've had three different opportunities to have sex in my life (three different girls), and each time I failed because I couldn't get an erection. The first time I was pretty drunk, so I blame it on that. The other two times though, I was stone cold sober. I don't think it's an organic or physiological problem, since I wake up with morning boners all the time and I have no trouble getting hard when I'm all alone watching porn. I think the cause of my ED is psychological. It's like a sort of performance anxiety. When I'm about to have sex, I think about the end result so much and the pressure mounts to the point where I am too stimulated to relax enough to enjoy the moment. Needless to say, I feel horrible about it. Not a day goes by that I don't think about it.

I've taken a couple measures already. First of all, I've decided to quit watching porn and jerking off. After watching the TEDx talk "The Great Porn Experiment", I realized porn addiction may be the cause of my issue (porn induced ED). I'm 2 weeks into it. Hopefully if I go several months without jerking it to porn, my libido will go back to normal along with my penile sensitivity.

In addition, I've acquired three pills of Viagra in case I get lucky in the immediate future. My plan is to use the Viagra the first couple times then ween myself off of it. I feel like if I can manage to get one solid boner and lose my virginity, the anxiety will dissipate and I will be able to breath a big sigh of relief.

If all else fails, I will lose it to a prostitute.

Thoughts?

Post: #2

(10-16-2017 07:55 AM)dilon_78 Wrote:  I've had three different opportunities to have sex in my life (three different girls), and each time I failed because I couldn't get an erection. The first time I was pretty drunk, so I blame it on that. The other two times though, I was stone cold sober. I don't think it's an organic or physiological problem, since I wake up with morning boners all the time and I have no trouble getting hard when I'm all alone watching porn. I think the cause of my ED is psychological. It's like a sort of performance anxiety. When I'm about to have sex, I think about the end result so much and the pressure mounts to the point where I am too stimulated to relax enough to enjoy the moment. Needless to say, I feel horrible about it. Not a day goes by that I don't think about it.

I've taken a couple measures already. First of all, I've decided to quit watching porn and jerking off. After watching the TEDx talk "The Great Porn Experiment", I realized porn addiction may be the cause of my issue (porn induced ED). I'm 2 weeks into it. Hopefully if I go several months without jerking it to porn, my libido will go back to normal along with my penile sensitivity.

In addition, I've acquired three pills of Viagra in case I get lucky in the immediate future. My plan is to use the Viagra the first couple times then ween myself off of it. I feel like if I can manage to get one solid boner and lose my virginity, the anxiety will dissipate and I will be able to breath a big sigh of relief.

If all else fails, I will lose it to a prostitute.

Thoughts?

Drop the pro idea- it's stupid, unbecoming of a man, and if you still can't get it up after throwing her a wad of cash you'll feel doubly stupid.

How old are you?

The Viagra isn't a bad idea. I think you've got a solid handle on the realities of the situation, just exchange 'hooker' for 'girl you actually enjoy spending time around'.

The best of luck with the NoPorn/NoFap. All the help and support you need is here: /thread-12879-page-137.html

See you on the other side mate.

Post: #3

Giving up porn is the the most important. Don´t worry about it, it just happens. I would say the best would be meeting one understanding girl on regular basis, so you would feel comfortable with her.
A little bit alcohol could also help.

Post: #4

So, you're a virgin. You're basically not sexually confident, it's that simple.
Quiting porn is a good move, but how are you doing otherwise? Do you go to the gym, eat right and do you feel good about yourself?

Post: #5

If you can't drop porn cold-turkey then only watch POV (point of view) stuff.

Post: #6

1) Yes, quitting porn is a great first step. Your body should be more-or-less completely normal in 90 days.

2) Forget the prostitute. Like roberto said, if you throw a bunch of money at her and still can't get it up, it will wreck your confidence even further. I'm assuming you're a young guy--prostitutes are for 50-year old virgins, not younger men like yourself.

3) LIFT LIFT LIFT LIFT LIFT! Get that testosterone pumping and gain confidence in how you look. LIFT LIFT LIFT LIFT LIFT!

Post: #7

Give up porn.

Get a decent LTR, go slow and loose your cherry and bang the same girl a lot, to get over the fear, anxiety and unknown of sex.

You will be fine.

Post: #8

Definitely give up porn! And lift!

Post: #9

Give up porn. Even within a week or two, you'll notice a drastic difference in your ability obtain and maintain an erection.

G

Post: #10

I'll join the crowd and say give up porn, but I wouldn't give up jacking it completely unless you're addicted and need a clean break.

You know what sucks? Coming in your pants (literally a wet daydream), not realizing it, going to pee and the tip of your dick getting stuck because the come dried and ripping off.

If you're lifting and not watching porn, you need to get that evil out 1-3x/week due to the testosterone or dick ripping will be your reality.

Post: #11

(10-16-2017 11:59 PM)Geomann180 Wrote:  Give up porn. Even within a week or two, you'll notice a drastic difference in your ability obtain and maintain an erection.

G

Just curious as to what is the science behind this?

Why can't a man be out here slaying pussy and watching porn at the same time?

Post: #12

(05-08-2018 09:28 PM)Mr.GoodThread Wrote:  

(10-16-2017 11:59 PM)Geomann180 Wrote:  Give up porn. Even within a week or two, you'll notice a drastic difference in your ability obtain and maintain an erection.

G

Just curious as to what is the science behind this?

Why can't a man be out here slaying pussy and watching porn at the same time?

Though I haven't watched porn for around 65 days now, the main culprit within porn is not the ordinary porn but over-the-top fantasy porn like BDSM and other Fetish based porn, etc. That shit starts to give such a crazy dopamine hit to your brain that a naked girl lying on the bed fails to excite you as your brain becomes desensitized to "normal" sexual situations. Having said that, giving it up in its entirety is of course better.

Post: #13

(05-09-2018 02:42 AM)testos111 Wrote:  

(05-08-2018 09:28 PM)Mr.GoodThread Wrote:  

(10-16-2017 11:59 PM)Geomann180 Wrote:  Give up porn. Even within a week or two, you'll notice a drastic difference in your ability obtain and maintain an erection.

G

Just curious as to what is the science behind this?

Why can't a man be out here slaying pussy and watching porn at the same time?

Though I haven't watched porn for around 65 days now, the main culprit within porn is not the ordinary porn but over-the-top fantasy porn like BDSM and other Fetish based porn, etc. That shit starts to give such a crazy dopamine hit to your brain that a naked girl lying on the bed fails to excite you as your brain becomes desensitized to "normal" sexual situations. Having said that, giving it up in its entirety is of course better.

But the issue is that if you watch consistently you get bored with the ordinary stuff and then go deeper down the rabbit hole.

Post: #14

Even the regular stuff rots your brain. It's got less to do with the content itself and more to do with the context.

Where do guys think the surge of literal cuck fetishes has suddenly risen from? I would suggest it's from beta males who's neural sexual pathways have been conditioned to be aroused by the third person experience of witnessing a rugged buck fucking a woman ('theirs', by logistical necessity). They no longer associate sex with the personal act of it but the sight of it happening to two people in front of them. Arguably some of them never had their brains wired correctly in the first place. If you're one of the youngest people to remember when mobile phones weren't cinderblock sized monsrosities wired into cars by necessity then you're also among the youngest people to remember when realtime porn was hard enough to gain access to that real life sexual endeavors still made up the majority of your young experience.

There are men now, I would say 25-30 and younger who have spent thousands of hours watching strangers fuck compared to perhaps 20 cumulative minutes of normal sex throughout their entire life. Try to imagine what that does to a brain. It's the story of Pavlog's dog writ large. I you only allowed a man to get off by putting his dick through a glory hole and forced him watch reruns of Martha Stewart cooking muffins during the event for a decade or more then without the thought of Martha he would have trouble gaining an erection, and the sick outcome would invariably be some granny getting paid to bake in front of him while he beat off.

Frankly I wouldn't be surprised if the sensation of headphones on the ears and the smell of kleenex was a legitimate aphrodisiac for some of these guys, even if they weren't consciously aware of it.

Like I said earlier. If you've absolutely got to watch porn then limit yourself to POV porn. At least it psychologically puts you in the drivers seat.

Post: #15

Quitting porn will help. Lose the death grip. And if / when you do rub it out, make it short. A fleshlight is a popular recommendation, but if you do go down this route, get the loosest model you can, and don't get carried away.

Kegels can help.

If you do go the Viagra route (I would not recommend), then start with the bare minimum slivers. If it's not physiological (if you get hard to porn, it's not), then you shouldn't need much.

Not being able to get it up / stay up happens to everyone at some point. Especially if you've been drinking, are tired or lack energy, or have already fucked earlier. A girl shouldn't give you shit for it.

Also...some girls are just bad at sex. My first girl was one of them (we were both virgins). I couldn't come inside her without pounding away like a jackhammer, and sometimes not even then. There's a learning curve for both boys and girls. So keep that in mind.

The last thing is...the silver lining in this situation is that you'll probably never have stamina issues with girls, once you do get the ball rolling.

And don't call it "getting lucky." Make it happen.

Post: #16

Watch the viagra .It does not work on me and gives me horrible headaches .So bad I can't fuck nor feel my dick

I use cyalis instead which is still expensive but I love them.I'm over 40.

I have other mates who also can not take viagra due to the side effects

Post: #17

Do you think nude pictures/instagram models have the same effect as watching porn? Also, is porn that bad if you are just watching and not actively being off?

Post: #18

(05-13-2018 08:05 AM)Mr.GoodThread Wrote:  Do you think nude pictures/instagram models have the same effect as watching porn? Also, is porn that bad if you are just watching and not actively being off?

Arousing images of any kind that trigger dopamine release is porn. It is bad in a way you condition brain to give you dopamine release and if combined with fapping, you build neural pathways in the brain which associate porn with fapping. That is why porn addiction is real, you have literal structures in the brain dedicated to it.

Post: #19

I don't get performance anxiety, but I'll frequently use porn to avoid meeting up with a girl and focus on work for the day. If a squeeze a couple out and agree to meet up in the evening regardless it will for sure effect my performance unless I use the pill. Two daily rounds and a few drinks I need 100mg of Sildenafil (Viagra) to get it to work. If you pump a few out before meeting and pop the pill you're talking about a workout to cum. While the long session might be great for her I can assure you an hour + into a regular girl your going to get frustrated.

Post: #20

(05-08-2018 09:28 PM)Mr.GoodThread Wrote:  Why can't a man be out here slaying pussy and watching porn at the same time?

You can. Of course, life is better when you're getting enough pussy that you don't need porn as a crutch anymore.

To keep real sex feeling special focus on the senses that are poorly served by porn: touch, taste, smell. Try to really drive home the fact you've got a flesh and blood person there. Also, hopefully you're with someone who genuinely gives a shit about you. In my case, the "context" of being with a woman who desires me is itself a turnon, especially when she vocalizes it. Simple phrases like "I need you inside me" or "I want you to cum inside me", those feelings of validation (real or simply the product of the moment) work wonders.

Post: #21

Thanks for the explanations and theory. I just wish that I didn't have to live in a society where I needed to wear condoms so that:

"Simple phrases like "I need you inside me" or "I want you to cum inside me"

held more weight.

Post: #22

I have similar issues and I need to fix them. I used to watch porn a lot and had no issues till last year keeping it up.

But now I face few issues: When I am hard I can go on for a long time. The girls usually orgasm but they get exhausted and start getting frustrated when I am not able to ejaculate after 40 mins. I have to always lie down in a certain position with the girl and jerk off myself till I ejaculate.

The other issue is I can only do raw when I am hard. Sometimes not only do I not get hard but most of the times, as soon as I put on a condom then down it goes and its very hard (no pun intended) to get it up again.

I lift, am athletic and muscular and believe have decent amount of testosterone. I jerk off twice a day through porn at average on the days I am not having sex. Sometimes even on the days I have had sex, I still jerk off twice, especially once before going to sleep.

I have now cut that down to once a day since the past two weeks.

Yesterday I had jerked off only once early morning. Had a good gym session later in the day. Ate well throughout. Late in the night, a bumble 5, who I matched with recently, suddenly asked me to comeover. I felt I was up for it. I felt not too tired though it was way past my bedtime. After the usual getting to know each other chit chat, we go inside her bedroom , put netflix and I go for it. She can feel I am hard in my pants. I go down on her. She orgasms. And then she goes down on me but I am not hard. I have no idea why. She then takes some time giving me a hj plus bj and gets me almost hard. I know this chick won't fuck without a condom so I open one and as soon as I try putting it on, down the erection goes. We keep trying and again repeat the same things. Next condom. Same result. Eventually I ejaculate through jerking off (again not fully hard while I cum). No intercourse and two nice magnum condoms wasted.

This is not the first time this has happened and these issues are happening quite often now. And its not only killing my repeat value with girls but also I am unable to enjoy myself. I do not know if its psychological or physiological.

Should I just stop masturbating and stop watching porn? I have a strong libido and if I do that then throughout the day, I would feel uneasy and anxious. I am 33 and I do not want to take Viagra or Cialis yet.

I take ZMA sometimes before night and L Arginine and L Citrulline before breakfast. I feel it does help with my morning wood and when I fuck my regular plate raw in the morning. But the sensitivity issue still remains.

What other ways can I improve , getting not only good erections but more importantly, maintaining ones while wearing condoms and developing the sensitivity to ejaculate without self jerking off as well as through intercourse while wearing a condom?

Post: #23

LDNs assertion that POV porn is somehow better is not accurate. The science is that even beating to nude photos is bad.

Post: #24

At times I even fapped on Tinder. Getting a match with a decent chick is sufficient to release a huge amount of dopamine.

Best to quit it all. Instagram, Tinder, Porn. Get rid of it.

Post: #25

Porn induced ED is very real. Even if you dont get ED it will make real sex less enjoyable.

I reached a point one time where I was unable to have sex in real life, I could get it up, but it would go down again quickly, even if I took viagra it didnt help much. It was a very hard time, since I didnt know what was causing it, and depression certainly doesnt help the situation. Then I found out about PIED, and decided to quit watching porn and do a "reboot" for 90 days with no masturbation. I thought it would be very difficult to abstain, but after a week or so I hit the "flatline", where you just feel no sexual desire. This lasted for 2 months or so, just total radio silence from the crotch. I lasted the 90 days, and when I returned to real life sex the problem was gone, but like some of you guys I couldnt last very long.

I quit watching porn for a good year, but then about 7-8 months ago I relapsed. I had smoked weed and my will was weak, and I gave myself all sorts of excuses for watching just one time.. Fast forward a few months and I was back on the wagon watching hardcore stuff daily, so naturally the PIED showed its ugly face again. As of today I have not watched porn for a little over 3 weeks, not fapped for about a week and I intend on abstaining from fapping again for 90 days. And obviously never watch porn again in my life.

For me one of the triggers is smoking weed, my will seems to become weak while my mind becomes lustfull. Its a shame because I really enjoy a joint once in a while, but if I cant stay on the path I will have to ditch that too. It obviously sucks big time to loose the ability to have sex in real life, you become a shadow of yourself..