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Is it possible to be nice and polite while also being alpha?
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Quizzical_2 Offline
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Post: #1
Is it possible to be nice and polite while also being alpha?
My general demeanor is overall polite, nice dude with a sort of bad temper. But is this counter productive to starting a relationship with women? Is this type of behaviour contrary to being an alpha?

Thank you for any responses.
01-10-2018 12:15 AM
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torridon747 Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Is it possible to be nice and polite while also being alpha?
Forget being "alpha". Why are you being polite?

Is it because that's your default behavior when you're failing to navigate social ecosystems?

If you're getting a bad rep for being "too polite" you're not being assertive enough. You can be polite and still speak your mind and get everything you want.

Women like you to be polite but assertive. Sounds contradictory but it's not. Push their boundaries but don't smash them unless you have the social capital to get away with it. When you're starting an interaction with someone politeness is appreciated but as you progress and both parties get comfortable sometimes it comes off as uncalibrated. Depends on class and culture a lot.

Give some examples and be more specific.
(This post was last modified: 01-10-2018 12:24 AM by torridon747.)
01-10-2018 12:20 AM
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Dulceácido Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Is it possible to be nice and polite while also being alpha?
Agreed, sort of, with Eugenics. Being Alpha has nothing to do with disregarding your manners and being a dick.

There's no need to foregoing public interactions because you're too cool for school. Just be nice, but be assertive.

I'm not a businessman; I'm a business, Man
01-10-2018 12:25 AM
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General Stalin Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Is it possible to be nice and polite while also being alpha?
The only thing in OP that sounds counterproductive to getting women is having a bad temper. Chill out, learn to have better control of your emotions.
01-10-2018 12:37 AM
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Dulceácido Offline
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RE: Is it possible to be nice and polite while also being alpha?
Bad temper = jail time. Trust me. I know. Just be cool, but be assertive.

I've a horrible temper, but I've learned to control it. It has served me well in my past profession, but now it's a liability.

I'm not a businessman; I'm a business, Man
(This post was last modified: 01-10-2018 12:43 AM by Dulceácido.)
01-10-2018 12:41 AM
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Buffandtan Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Is it possible to be nice and polite while also being alpha?
Being Alpha doesn't mean being obnoxious.
01-10-2018 01:22 AM
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Dulceácido Offline
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Post: #7
RE: Is it possible to be nice and polite while also being alpha?
I kinda see his point... It's just flawed.
Being a dickhead will get you locked up--seriously.

Just be a "normal" guy and keep your frame. There is no reason to escalate bullshit. "Oh, you're gonna keep your street cred?" Yeah, see how that gets you along in your stint in Fulton County.

Been to jail, several times. Fucking the most horrific thing ever.

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01-10-2018 01:58 AM
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Mercenary Offline
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RE: Is it possible to be nice and polite while also being alpha?
NO
01-10-2018 02:33 AM
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Leonard D Neubache Offline
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RE: Is it possible to be nice and polite while also being alpha?
Just be polite in a confident, zero-fucks-given kind of way. It helps to have a sense of humour.

Imagine a beta holding open the door for a woman. You're imagining what a slave looks like.
Imagine Jason Statham holding open the door for a woman. Your imagining what a professional bodyguard looks like, holding the door open in a way that flexes his muscles without talking or looking at her while he's doing it).
Imagine Arnold Schwarzenegger holding open the door for a woman. You're imagining a cheeky motherfucker making eye contact and saying "good day" with an obvious lilt in his voice, because he knows she got wet the second she saw his build.

Yes, you can be polite and be alpha. Being polite is not the same as being a snivelling worm. Watch some Steven Seagal movies. He's very polite until he's breaking someone's arm. Whether or not you can break someone's arm is beside the point. You can still see value there on being polite and masculine at the same time.
01-10-2018 03:51 AM
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NickDunne Offline
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Post: #10
RE: Is it possible to be nice and polite while also being alpha?
You can seem like an alpha and be polite. Usually guys who are physically very strong, or who have fighting or combat background, generally can pull this off best for 2 reasons:


1. Because they know their worth against most of the other dudes present so they feel as on top of the wolf pack. Not in an obnoxious asshole kind of way. You just see it and feel it.

2. Because they know that there might be another guy there, just as relaxed and inconspicuous and polite who is stronger and/or better fighter than them. Hence the politeness and upfront respect.
01-10-2018 04:14 AM
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treypound Offline
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Post: #11
RE: Is it possible to be nice and polite while also being alpha?
Nice and polite are two different traits. Nice guys finish last.
01-10-2018 05:32 PM
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LINUX Away
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Post: #12
RE: Is it possible to be nice and polite while also being alpha?
Alpha male talk and thinking is primitive. Much like a monkey in the jungle trying to beat his chest louder than the other apes. Game should have evolved way past that by now, but many are still confused.

When I'm taking a woman out for dinner or to dance, I tell her how beautiful she is, I open the doors for her, I hold her hand. I pick her up and hold her, sometimes I even buy her flowers. But I will also bend her ass over and pull those panties to the side, in the parking lot when no one is looking and she knows that. That's the key. In order to get there, you have to be a confident man, who has options, who does nice things not because he puts her on a pedestal, but because he wants to enjoy her feminine presence fully. So, in retrospect, you aren't doing these things for her, you're doing them for yourself so you can live in the moment and feel love, lust, and passion, otherwise, what's the point, you might as well just go to a whore house and get your 5 minute fix.
01-10-2018 06:34 PM
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xxx Offline
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Post: #13
RE: Is it possible to be nice and polite while also being alpha?
How dominant/masculine you are is biological, there is nothing you can do about it. If you're not naturally dominant then follow HankMoody's advice, he's mastered the art of banging as a beta. Your game must be adjusted to the type of man you are.

Don't worry about this alpha/beta thing -- you are who you are.
(This post was last modified: 01-10-2018 06:49 PM by xxx.)
01-10-2018 06:48 PM
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RatInTheWoods Offline
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Post: #14
RE: Is it possible to be nice and polite while also being alpha?
Being 'alpha" to get laid is so yesterday.

Being sigma is the new kool.
01-10-2018 06:52 PM
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Rocha Offline
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RE: Is it possible to be nice and polite while also being alpha?
(01-10-2018 06:34 PM)LINUX Wrote:  Alpha male talk and thinking is primitive. Much like a monkey in the jungle trying to beat his chest louder than the other apes. Game should have evolved way past that by now, but many are still confused.

When I'm taking a woman out for dinner or to dance, I tell her how beautiful she is, I open the doors for her, I hold her hand. I pick her up and hold her, sometimes I even buy her flowers. But I will also bend her ass over and pull those panties to the side, in the parking lot when no one is looking and she knows that. That's the key. In order to get there, you have to be a confident man, who has options, who does nice things not because he puts her on a pedestal, but because he wants to enjoy her feminine presence fully. So, in retrospect, you aren't doing these things for her, you're doing them for yourself so you can live in the moment and feel love, lust, and passion, otherwise, what's the point, you might as well just go to a whore house and get your 5 minute fix.

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01-10-2018 06:58 PM
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Cobra Offline
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RE: Is it possible to be nice and polite while also being alpha?
Awesome post by LINUX.

Being alpha has not a fucking thing to do with your level of politeness. It has more to do with your confidence level as well as ability to do what you want to get what you want.

For a second, separate the concept of "being a dick" from "alpha." People somehow believe these are one and the same, subconsciously.

I like to always illustrate with examples. At work, I am always nice to the super feminist assistant because arguing with her gets no where and I waste my breath. I have nothing to prove.

However, the super feminine receptionist, I call her whatever I want, including bitch when I want to in case she tells me something I think is stupid. That's because she is receptive and deserves honesty. Not all women do. Not because I don't want to but because they are irrelevant to me and I don't have the time to waste on helping them.

To a bystanding beta, my behavior towards the receptionist can seem "dickish" or "alpha" but can seem "cuckish" and "beta" with the assistant. The thing is, I don't give a fuck and that's all that matters. Just remember that.

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(This post was last modified: 01-10-2018 09:00 PM by Cobra.)
01-10-2018 08:58 PM
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Jetset Offline
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Post: #17
RE: Is it possible to be nice and polite while also being alpha?
80% of the time, if being polite and being alpha seem somehow incompatible, it's because someone else is being impolite and you're needlessly enabling it. If your temper is going off, it's probably because you're engaging with something on an emotional level that you should just be ignoring or directly shutting down.

With a polite smile, of course. By way of an example, it's completely polite to disregard nagging or intrusive questioning, or to excuse yourself when someone is rambling about bullshit. Don't let nonsense bubble up until it starts triggering anger.

Hidey-ho, RVFerinos!
(This post was last modified: 01-11-2018 10:53 AM by Jetset.)
01-11-2018 10:31 AM
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