Post: #1

This line has been on my mind since a woman at a club said this to me a few months ago. She was a middle age woman. Nice curves, wore the nicest body-fitting dress you've ever seen. A mother but clearly able to keep in shape. As we're sitting chatting, she said to me:

"I've been with black guys. My last boyfriend was black. But you seem like you're always anxious. You need to be more fierce."

I asked her what that meant, but she didn't have a straight answer. Maybe someone here can clue me on what she was referring to. I have a theory she means "being hard". Not the looking ghetto part, but like the media vision of the black male with nice suit, barely smiles, and doesn't do a lot of talking. I smile a lot, mostly because I was use to doing that in normal social situations, and I can hold a conversation.

Post: #2

The key to that statement was the sentence before the fierce line. You were coming off to her as anxious and not very confident, which turned her off.

Being overly smiley can make you look anxious, as does talking too much in a sort of try-hard way.

If you've ever seen a mock interview where the interviewee is talking too much and being overly smiley to the point of annoyance, you may have been giving off a lesser form of that sort of vibe.

You've just gotta get more comfortable and play it a bit cooler and that should iron itself out.

Post: #3

Start video taping yourself on normal everyday interactions. You would be surprised how you think you look and how you actually look are quite different.

Post: #4

(01-18-2018 09:34 PM)Bain Wrote:  Start video taping yourself on normal everyday interactions. You would be surprised how you think you look and how you actually look are quite different.

Sounds good, but how should someone do that? I mean it's better not be a POV to see your body as well, to see your bodylanguage, but have do you film that?

Post: #5

(01-18-2018 11:10 PM)FenyoLuc Wrote:  

(01-18-2018 09:34 PM)Bain Wrote:  Start video taping yourself on normal everyday interactions. You would be surprised how you think you look and how you actually look are quite different.

Sounds good, but how should someone do that? I mean it's better not be a POV to see your body as well, to see your bodylanguage, but have do you film that?

There's a few ways. The easiest would be to get a friend to just record him from a bit of a distance while he's running game. He could run some mock interviews and see if any of his issues come up there too.

I don't think he has to go that far, but it's certainly not impossible if that's the step OP wants to take.

Post: #6

Start with carrying a camera and just tape yourself only doing normal day to day things. Talk in the camera like you are talking to a girl or doing an interview. Then download to your computer and watch on a large screen. That itself will reveal many things. Do you like what you see? Chances are others see the same as you do. What can you improve? The answers will be obvious. Then after try getting a friend to tape you. Then after pay someone secretly taping you as you do a real approach.

Post: #7

Basically, she's saying you're a nice guy and all that, but you're not making her wet. She's saying you're not a challenge.

It's not clear when in the interaction she said it (first 30 seconds, after 10 minutes of chatting?). If it's very early, it's your vibe and body language. If it's later on, do more compliance game (make her jump through some hoops for you).