Post: #1

Over the years, I've experimented with many different openers and have found that being situational is often the best alternative. They are spontaneous, fun and challenging.

Having said that, to this day I'll sometimes get stuck in my own head. I overthink things and am unable to find a way to start a conversation. When that happens, I question myself, hesitate and often miss out on an opportunity to approach.

Usually that happens when my mind is burdened in some way - sensory overload during nightlife, putting pressure on myself, nervousness about failing, among others.

It's a terrible way to start off the night, and can be a bucket of cold water on an otherwise great streak.

To prevent and overcome that, I've developed a very easy opener that always helps me get into my groove early on in the night and serves as a reset if I'm getting blown out left and right: the chewing gum opener.

The beauty of this opener is that 90%+ of your interactions when using it are most likely positive.

Personally, I've used for tens of approaches and it has never blown up on me - 100% positive interactions.

Essentially you're just offering her a piece of chewing gum. Some people wouldn't even call it an approach, it could be described as just being social.

But the way I play it ALWAYS makes girls chuckle and be intrigued. Even when I'm rejected (there's no actual rejection in it) I still leave on a good note and get my spirits up.

- - -

Here's how it usually goes down:

I'll see a girl and walk towards her...

Ringo: [Serious face, serious tone] Hi. I saw you from over there... *points to the place I was at*
Her: Yeah...

Then I stare at her for a moment like this:



Ringo: I could tell from the look on your face...
Her: ...
Ringo: that you'd like some chewing gum. *sticks out gum*

Hold the serious face for a moment...

And break into a smile and laughter.

- - -

I've used this once by chance and started using it more and more frequently. The more I thought about, the more I saw how it was perfect for my game. There's tension, confusion, humor, release.

And who doesn't want a piece of gum?

From there, I've rambled about all kinds of stuff - my favorite is discussing the flavor.

Her: Oh, thanks.
Ringo: No, thank YOU. I hate this flavor.
Her: OMG, bla bla bla.

Or...

Her: Oh, thanks.
Ringo: This is my favorite. You look like you like the cinnamon ones.
Her: Haha how did you know/No way, I hate those...
Ringo: I don't know. Cinnamon's got a kick to it. You look feisty yourself.
Her: Haha OMG...

- - -

I've used this in a bunch of different venues, from festivals to dive bars to clubs, and I've always gotten good reactions. Solo girls, group of girls, mixed groups.

The only requirement is having a pack of gum with you - which, if you're going out, you should have anyways.

I've never used it during day game, but I imagine it can work just as well.

_ _ _

Variations:

Talking is my forté, so if a girl gives me an inch I'll take a mile. This makes me especially good at situations where you can talk - music is not too loud, the ambiance is relatively calm.

But I've used variations of this in different situations and still got good results.

I've had cases where a girl gave me the "fuck me" eyes instantly - I gave her the gum and kissed her right away. Fresh breath.

Another alternative is to use the opener and when she says she'll take the gum, you say "I'll trade it for a kiss". Cheesy, but it works.

- - -

Other threads on openers:

Favourite Opener?
Your opener of the moment?

Post: #2

I think this is user dependent. And what if the girl says "no thanks i'm good"? Lots of women around my way are always scared guys are going to give them something tainted with drugs (thanks mainstream media)

-CD

Post: #3

The results of this approach will be highly correlated with your appearance, body language, tone, etc. In order to not come off as creepy.

I could see this working much better when sitting or standing beside someone at a place like a bus stand for example.

Just whip out the gum from your pocket into plain sight, pop one in your mouth, offer some to the girl and go from there based on the reaction.

Post: #4

I think that's pretty clever. For me I would modify it so if I'm waiting for the bus or something and a cute girl is next to me and we make eye contact I would offer her some gum. I think the other dialogue makes it too complicated for me at my level.

Post: #5

I am a fan of this method, good one Ringo. I always use chewing gum to go for a kiss with a girl, I give her gum and when I want to go in for it I say: So.. When you gonna spit your gum out?
90% of the time she will spit her gum out within the next couple of minutes and I make out with her, her breathe won't be kicking either. I always keep gum with me.

Post: #6

Interesting approach but as noted, your delivery and frame will be the difference if this works for you

Post: #7

And then there is Singapore, where I am, where gum is banned.

Post: #8

Genius! Will be using this

Post: #9

(01-22-2018 02:13 PM)Vet-Boy Wrote:  The results of this approach will be highly correlated with your appearance, body language, tone, etc. In order to not come off as creepy.

I could see this working much better when sitting or standing beside someone at a place like a bus stand for example.

Just whip out the gum from your pocket into plain sight, pop one in your mouth, offer some to the girl and go from there based on the reaction.

You and coverdoc are right - results will be correlated with appearance and demeanor. Then again, so is everything when gaming.

The scenario you described seems to me like a great way to employ it during the day. I'll have to try it and report back.

(01-22-2018 01:18 PM)coverdoc Wrote:  What if the girl says "no thanks i'm good"? Lots of women around my way are always scared guys are going to give them something tainted with drugs (thanks mainstream media)

This has happened to me before. If I didn't look the way I do (young, clean cut, baby face) it would probably happen more often.

One thing to keep in mind is to never give her the gum out of the package. Present it like this:



And as you hold it out, take one for yourself. I don't have a big sample size from this but I feel like it makes girls less suspicious.

However, the #1 thing to keep in mind is: the goal is not to make the girl take the gum. The goal is to spark up a conversation.

It actually happened to me this weekend (the tall girl from this post).

The girl gave me a suspicious look and I told her "Okay... guess I'll have to chew it by myself...", followed by a grin. She laughed and took the gum.

I can recall it happening another time and I followed up with: "You don't like this flavor?". Followed that with a rant about my favorite flavors . Ten minutes later I got her number and ejected.

Post: #10

Post: #11

I won't use it but seems like a good good opener.

Indirect approach. Even if she knows you're interested, it doesn't reek "I'm desperate to bang you".

Post: #12

In defiance of the new world order, I will not chew the chewing gums.

Post: #13

Setup seems awkward but if it works for you then play on player. I'm not really an indirect guy anyway so I guess I'm not the best critic.

Post: #14

There's an underlying principle here which I think can help many guys: the reset switch.

I've touched on this in the OP, but I think it would be worth stressing.

In fighting, coaches often tell their fighters to reset their stances. This usually happens after an exchange of blows or intense movement.

When gaming girls, like in fighting, it's easy to allow negative experiences from the past to influence the future. Instead of dropping your hands, losing body alignment or mental focus, like a fighter, a player will lose confidence, lower his voice, project less energy.

Going back to their regular stance is the fighters reset button. It doesn't matter if he lost the previous exchange or his opponent won the last battle for position.

When the fighter resets, all that matters is what will happen from then on. Positionally, it's as if the fight had just started all over again. This "letting go of the past" has a deep psychological effect.

The chewing gum opener is MY reset. It allows me to let go of previous failures during the night, or to leave my bad mood behind and start fresh. I know I can count on it.

Maybe the chewing gum opener won't work for you, but if you can develop your own opener or an attitude that allows to go from a negative or neutral state of mind to a positive one, this is invaluable. A night that could be called early might still give you a few more shots before you finally decide to quit.

Growth comes from pushing through when you want to quit, and having a reset is a great tool in doing that.

Post: #15

^^quality

Post: #16

I'll never use the opener. A simple "hey" works wonders for me. I say hey to everyone out of habit even if i'm not trying to start a convo.

With that said well said Ringo concerning the reset switch. I can see how it can help nexting a chick just starting out to game. But remember, rejections build game.

My favorite go-to opener is "I like how your mascara/eye shadow matches ya outfit/matches your shirt, shoes, pants etc." (It always does, just be observative) after the "thanks" i'll follow it up with "I know you did that on purpose, diffrent touch, I like it" after her answer is the perfect time to touch the thing that matches her earings, mascara w/e. You know the rest. Works everytime when I don't use a situational after the initial "hey"

Post: #17

I tried this opener in France couple years ago and the girl got pissed because she tought I thought she had bad breath...any i got out of this mess but never again.

Post: #18

(01-22-2018 06:24 PM)treypound Wrote:  Interesting approach but as noted, your delivery and frame will be the difference if this works for you

Just like... every opener ever. Because openers don't matter.

Looks, tonality, eye contact and body language do.

Post: #19

Post: #20

Probably the best tip I've read in the last 6 months. Thanks for this.

Post: #21

Awesome strategy, need to carry gum on me next time and might try it.

What if a girls hand you gum on a date? Does this (usually) means she wants you to kiss her?

Post: #22

Post: #23

“Do you have a smoke” at night is the best opener

Guys who have never heard of game but have it know this is true

Post: #24

Interesting. I chew a lot of gum and have used it as a prop before. Once I've established some rapport and we are chatting it up, I'll say "hey, you have something behind your ear..." I'll have a piece of gum concealed in my hand, pretend to reach behind her ear, and the flip the piece of gum out of hiding before I bring my hand back in between us. It's simpler than it sounds, super easy entertainment, and never fails to get a smile/chuckle. Try it and thank me later.

Post: #25

Tried this tonight.

Gonna bang her tonight too. Excellent tip.