Post: #1

Hello guys, im 22 years old from a post-sovietic country, since i was a kid i was a very weak and 90% of my childhood until 10 years old i've spent in hospitals, I always loved sports, and wanted to become a pro athelte(well i didnt succeed, guess that was a sort of complex for me, like girls with daddy issues), I was raised by my mother since my parents divorced when i was 4, my dad was and still is (no anger here he actually is) loser that was beating my mom every time he was drunk so she left him. By growing up I was very dominated by my mother and became let's say very feminine, in school i was getting bullied all the time, even if i was in the basketball team i was very skinny, I was also bullied and getting my butt kicked because I was wearing hip-hop style clothes, they were in style back in the days, my mother always told me not to fight, run away from bad or dangerous situations , dont drink alcohol, come hope very early, no clubs , dont hang out with bad boys etc, she controlled every aspect of my life. I understand that she is overprotective but It created a very big issue for me, I can't talk to women, Im preety charismatic but I fear women, i've did wrestling when I was 16 till 18 and then became a olympic weightlifter until I was 21, im not competing anymore and I didnt achived important sports titles. Now im muscular and stuff I look very strong, I am also strong but Im afraid of other guys still, not the ones that do sports but in general, Im just like the cowardy lion from Wizard of OZ, I don't have a "spine" ,dunno how to say it better , also I have a huge lack of self esteem and always doubt myself and underestimate , with women, or even at a freaking job interview ... I've never had a masculine example to emulate, so i've associated myself with athletes but that didn't helped so even doe im a big guy , im still a coward... Could you guys help me I don't know what to do here... I mean it messes up my life really bad, in many ways.

Post: #2

How far from Chernobyl did you grow up?

Aloha!

Post: #3

(01-27-2018 06:23 PM)Kona Wrote:  How far from Chernobyl did you grow up?

Aloha!

Im not from Ukraine. Does that matters?

Salut!

Post: #4

When you say you were an "Olympic weightlifter" are you saying you competed in the Olympics?

Post: #5

(01-27-2018 06:40 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  When you say you were an "Olympic weightlifter" are you saying you competed in the Olympics?

It's how the sport is called in english,unfortunetly I did not qualified for Olympics

Post: #6

"It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again!"

No, but seriously. Charismatic Olympic weightlifter by age 21 having problems with excessive femininity?

Kids, stay off the 'roids.

Post: #7

(01-27-2018 06:46 PM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  "It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again!"

No, but seriously. Charismatic Olympic weightlifter by age 21 having problems with excessive femininity?

Kids, stay off the 'roids.

First of all you are not a doctor , second I am very aware of the risks I took, im not into pro sports i've finished my career in 2016, now Im a web developer, apparently it was a bad idea to ask for help on a forum, since people ask me if im from Chernobyl, what are my titles, tell me to stay off roids. Im fine my health is ok, I've asked for help. My dick is ok for protocol, and my libido is also fine PCT went well. So no worries. My testicules are also ok sir. So is my liver and my blood pressure. Please if you do not intend to help me, do not comment. Thank you. Im 22 now.

Post: #8

My only advice is: Whatever your mother tells you to do, you go and do the opposite.

Post: #9

Read rationale male, 48 laws of power, the art or war. Figure out what you want out of life and go get it without fear. Work on the way you see the world until you realize that you shouldn't be afraid or anxious about trivial situations.

Post: #10

(01-27-2018 06:53 PM)albvik Wrote:  

(01-27-2018 06:46 PM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  "It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again!"

No, but seriously. Charismatic Olympic weightlifter by age 21 having problems with excessive femininity?

Kids, stay off the 'roids.

First of all you are not a doctor , second I am very aware of the risks I took, im not into pro sports i've finished my career in 2016, now Im a web developer, apparently it was a bad idea to ask for help on a forum, since people ask me if im from Chernobyl, what are my titles, tell me to stay off roids. Im fine my health is ok, I've asked for help. My dick is ok for protocol, and my libido is also fine PCT went well. So no worries. My testicules are also ok sir. So is my liver and my blood pressure. Please if you do not intend to help me, do not comment. Thank you. Im 22 now.

Do you have any male friends? Friends you joke around with?

First suggestion is stop taking yourself so seriously.

You need to have "thicker skin" (That comes from an expression that means you dont let little stuff bother you...like getting upset when anonymous guys make a joke at your expense).

If you want to "grow balls" then start with toughening the skin on your sack to hold them.

Post: #11

(01-27-2018 07:07 PM)Rocha Wrote:  My only advice is: Whatever your mother tells you to do, you go and do the opposite.

Im not living with my parents, and im living also in another country. So yeah kinda on my own but the roots that I've grew in my for 20 years, are there

Post: #12

Mate, the past doesn't equal the future.

You can draw a line and move forward from here and be the kind of man you want to be. But you have to work hard, take the difficult choices and stay true to your values no matter what.

Reading this forum, reading other great works of masculine advice and plotting your own course through life will be difficult but rewarding.

Post: #13

(01-27-2018 07:11 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

(01-27-2018 06:53 PM)albvik Wrote:  

(01-27-2018 06:46 PM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  "It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again!"

No, but seriously. Charismatic Olympic weightlifter by age 21 having problems with excessive femininity?

Kids, stay off the 'roids.

First of all you are not a doctor , second I am very aware of the risks I took, im not into pro sports i've finished my career in 2016, now Im a web developer, apparently it was a bad idea to ask for help on a forum, since people ask me if im from Chernobyl, what are my titles, tell me to stay off roids. Im fine my health is ok, I've asked for help. My dick is ok for protocol, and my libido is also fine PCT went well. So no worries. My testicules are also ok sir. So is my liver and my blood pressure. Please if you do not intend to help me, do not comment. Thank you. Im 22 now.

Do you have any male friends? Friends you joke around with?

First suggestion is stop taking yourself so seriously.

You need to have "thicker skin" (That comes from an expression that means you dont let little stuff bother you...like getting upset when anonymous guys make a joke at your expense).

If you want to "grow balls" then start with toughening the skin on your sack to hold them.

Actually after leaving sports i've made a lot of new friends, that have nothing to do with sports, but most of the time back in the days I mean I was hanging out with few people that were also athletes.

Meh it pissed me off that i've expected people to be more friendly when u actually ask for help and yo're sincere. Since these guys should be too old to be internet trolls. And im preety sure none of them achieved what i've did so they have no right to judge me or to mock me, just because I was sincere.

Post: #14

(01-27-2018 07:09 PM)Eugenics Wrote:  Read rationale male, 48 laws of power, the art or war. Figure out what you want out of life and go get it without fear. Work on the way you see the world until you realize that you shouldn't be afraid or anxious about trivial situations.

I've read those books, also Way of the Samurai, Book of five rings, Hagakure, Way of tea, Noble art of war, Tao te ching, didnt felt like they made me more of a man But they'we had some interesting toughts.

Post: #15

First off, I asked how far you grew up from Chernobyl, not if that's where you were from.

Second, Leonard's not a doctor!!???!!?? No wonder this rash won't go away!

So listen my weightlifting comrade, I say, do exactly the opposite of what your mom told you. Go to the club. Drink the alcohol. Hang out with the bad boys.

You look muscley and strong like bull. Get those hip hop clothes back out and paint the town. Just relax a little. Don't eat any reindeer meat though because the radiation in that shit will make you crabby.

Aloha!

Post: #16

(01-27-2018 07:18 PM)Kona Wrote:  First off, I asked how far you grew up from Chernobyl, not if that's where you were from.

Second, Leonard's not a doctor!!???!!?? No wonder this rash won't go away!

So listen my weightlifting comrade, I say, do exactly the opposite of what your mom told you. Go to the club. Drink the alcohol. Hang out with the bad boys.

You look muscley and strong like bull. Get those hip hop clothes back out and paint the town. Just relax a little. Don't eat any reindeer meat though because the radiation in that shit will make you crabby.

Aloha!

I was being sarcastic also, I don't know what is mr. Leonard's job but, I didn't ask for steroids advice, and im not quite a meat head like the guys from bodybuildingdotcom, I was in official federations, sponsored and under good supervision of doctors. I guess ur right for the rest.Thanks!

Post: #17

(01-27-2018 07:18 PM)Kona Wrote:  First off, I asked how far you grew up from Chernobyl, not if that's where you were from.

Second, Leonard's not a doctor!!???!!?? No wonder this rash won't go away!

So listen my weightlifting comrade, I say, do exactly the opposite of what your mom told you. Go to the club. Drink the alcohol. Hang out with the bad boys.

You look muscley and strong like bull. Get those hip hop clothes back out and paint the town. Just relax a little. Don't eat any reindeer meat though because the radiation in that shit will make you crabby.

Aloha!

I told you from the beginning, I had a doctorate. And that rash keeps coming back because you keep going to where you got it in the first place!

OP, you get laid regularly or what?

Post: #18

Seems like he's legit, though. Very moody and easily offended. Sounds pretty girly to me. At least he's being honest.

Post: #19

Ive often posted about this topic:

Fear & Desire

Everything we do (or dont) in life is motivated by fear or desire. Some people are desire driven. Desire driven people will stop at nothing to get what they want. They will take chances when others wont

@aldvik

You my friend are fear driven.

But you dont want to be.

That means you want to change

Change is hard.

But that's something you already know right? Im sure you physique changed by weight lifting right?

That took knowledge, effort, time, and perseverance

To change a fear driven point of view into a desire driven one takes the same things

In order to effect change you need first understand what it is you want to change.


1. Knowledge,

2. Effort,

3. Time,

4. Perseverance

Where does fear come from?

Fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear that we’re just not enough — fear is a common current that runs through all of our lives. And if we let it, fear can keep us locked up in the prison of the comfortable and predictable.

But there is also a way that fear can serve a valuable purpose, helping us break through the frustration to achieve the life we truly desire. That’s right — if you allow it to, fear can become your ultimate motivator.

In your mind, if you have no choice but to succeed — if achieving your goal is an absolute must — then nothing else matters. Sacrifices won’t even be a question. Excuses go out the window. You’ll do whatever it takes to make it happen. Period.

This is how some of the most successful people leverage fear in their lives. Rather than allowing fear to creep in and suck the life right out of their dreams, they know that the real fear is the price they will pay if they don’t give their goals and visions every ounce of energy and focus they have. They know the real fear is living a life where they have settled or compromised on what they really wanted.
How do you adopt that mindset and perspective? How do you live a life where fear becomes your ally, not your enemy?

Here are 5 tips to stop letting fear control your happiness and to start leveraging fear to your advantage:

1. DETERMINE IF YOUR GOAL IS A “MUST”
Ask yourself what it will cost you if you do not push past your fear. This will help you discover whether or not achieving a specific goal is a “must” and not just a “should.”

Example:"If I dont change I will be a pussy when I'm 80 yo"

Try imagining yourself when you are 80 years old, nearing the end of your life. You are sitting in your rocking chair, reflecting on how you lived your life. Now, look back on your life as if you had not achieved the goal you are after at this moment in your life. How has this affected the course of your life? What are your regrets? What do you wish you had made more time for? What do you wish you had tried? Is there sadness and regret? Are you wondering, “what if…?”

2. RECOGNIZE THE EXCUSES
It’s easy to push our hopes, desires and dreams aside. We make excuses: there’s just not enough time, I don’t have the money or the resources, I have a family, I’m just too busy. And we start to hide behind those excuses. Because they’re comforting. They’re safe. But excuses will also bring you back to exactly where you started. So remember that the next time an excuse floats into your mind. By becoming more cognizant of your brain’s proclivity for using excuses so you won’t be held accountable, the better you will become at dismissing them.

3. ADOPT A GROWTH MINDSET
People often give up on what they want because they believe that reaching their goal is beyond their abilities. But the most successful people foster a growth mindset. They don’t think of their abilities as fixed, but rather as flexible. And when faced with a setback, they try harder. They adopt a new strategy. They keep seeking a solution.

4. PAIN BRINGS VALUABLE INSIGHT
The most painful experiences can help refine what you want, and what you don’t want in life. Failure, disappointment, dead-ends — these can all be used as a means of reflecting and saying, “this didn’t work. It wasn’t the right fit. So what do I really want?” Remember, we are built to adapt. So embrace this strength and use each experience as a tool to help you learn more about yourself and what you really must have in life.

5. KNOW THAT FAILURE IS INEVITABLE
You will fail. It’s just part of the process. Any successful person will tell you that. But failure offers insights and inherently corrects the faulty ways of approaching a problem. There is no teacher as impactful as the sting of failure. And no lesson in resilience better than the burn of rejection. But if you use these experiences as unique information, and adjust your strategy and approach the next time around, you will have an advantage that no one else does.


You posted here. That took courage. Good for you.


Youre living a fear driven life and want to change it into a desire driven one.

Now you know.

This is your goal

Post: #20

El miedo de la muerte fue más fuerte que las ganas de vivir....

Post: #21

(01-27-2018 08:24 PM)Dulceácido Wrote:  El miedo de la muerte fue más fuerte que las ganas de vivir....

Pero con unos huevos de oro, todo fica mas facil.

Post: #22

Typical day at Dr LNB's office

Dr LNB -"Miss I need to do the finger-in-your-belly-button exam. Please disrobe and lay on the gurney"

Girl disrobes and lays down then -"Why Dr Leonard, that is not my belly button!"

Dr LNB- "Its quite alright. That's not my finger"

Post: #23

Post: #24

Post: #25

(01-27-2018 06:11 PM)albvik Wrote:  Hello guys, im 22 years old from a post-sovietic country, since i was a kid i was a very weak and 90% of my childhood until 10 years old i've spent in hospitals, I always loved sports, and wanted to become a pro athelte(well i didnt succeed, guess that was a sort of complex for me, like girls with daddy issues), I was raised by my mother since my parents divorced when i was 4, my dad was and still is (no anger here he actually is) loser that was beating my mom every time he was drunk so she left him. By growing up I was very dominated by my mother and became let's say very feminine, in school i was getting bullied all the time, even if i was in the basketball team i was very skinny, I was also bullied and getting my butt kicked because I was wearing hip-hop style clothes, they were in style back in the days, my mother always told me not to fight, run away from bad or dangerous situations , dont drink alcohol, come hope very early, no clubs , dont hang out with bad boys etc, she controlled every aspect of my life. I understand that she is overprotective but It created a very big issue for me, I can't talk to women, Im preety charismatic but I fear women, i've did wrestling when I was 16 till 18 and then became a olympic weightlifter until I was 21, im not competing anymore and I didnt achived important sports titles. Now im muscular and stuff I look very strong, I am also strong but Im afraid of other guys still, not the ones that do sports but in general, Im just like the cowardy lion from Wizard of OZ, I don't have a "spine" ,dunno how to say it better , also I have a huge lack of self esteem and always doubt myself and underestimate , with women, or even at a freaking job interview ... I've never had a masculine example to emulate, so i've associated myself with athletes but that didn't helped so even doe im a big guy , im still a coward... Could you guys help me I don't know what to do here... I mean it messes up my life really bad, in many ways.

From big frustrations can result great a success... Many top champions boxers or MMA fighters were guys like you that were bullied all the time.

Tyson grew up like you with a mother without a father, he was called "little fairy boy" and bullied all the time. He was a super coward, the first guy who discovered him (bobby Stewart) said that the young Tyson was so big but also so weak, he couldn't watch one person in the eyes. Also during all his amateur boxing career he used to cry before fighting he was scared to death! Before his 1st pro match he cried and he wanted to quit boxing for finding a job.

Hitler at 25 years old was an homeless, Rommel, Franco and Napoleon had the same bad childhood..... seems most of the top success people had a big pain in life..

I didn't understand well why but seems that suffering can make you better, if you can survive to it you will become stronger more interesting and smarter than normal idiots people. at 22 years old you are still a child, you can still start a new sport and becoming a pro for example. Deontay Wilder (actually WBC heavyweight) started boxing at 20 years old...

Is nice to see here how they are all super expert and machos and they like so much to kid others...........