Post: #1

Hi,

Recently I met this girl that she seems interested in me, we are part of the same friendship cycle and she is the one that's usually inviting me to events and nights and stuff (to spend time with the rest of the people), everything is cool so far, the only thing is that she has a boyfriend, when i ask her about him her face smiles and it is very obvious that she is into him. the thing is I'm middle eastern but living in a western country and girls usually never give me the time of the day, like never ever, but she is completely the opposite, what is the deal here? has anyone been in a similar situation? should i just make a move?

Post: #2

She's not interested, move on. You will meet other girls. Don't linger, you're gonna cause trouble for yourself. Also if a girl invites you 'to events' or 'out with other people' she's angling for something else. I'm assuming these are events you have to fork over some amount of money to attend?

Post: #3

Her interest in you isn't "romantic", don't mistake friend zone vibes for attraction.

There are many, many women in the world. Keep improving yourself and seeking a woman who is attracted to you.

Post: #4

I see, not really there is not much money involved, when we go out everyone pays for him/herself.
what confuses me is that no other girl treats me this way

Post: #5

(03-03-2018 05:46 PM)lark Wrote:  what confuses me is that no other girl treats me this way

What way is that? Giving you the bare minimum of attention to keep you around so you can feed her ego by paying attention to her and semi-chasing her?

Learn to recognize when you are barking up the wrong tree so you won't waste your time.

You're super friend zoned, dude.

Post: #6

(03-03-2018 06:05 PM)Rhyme or Reason Wrote:  

(03-03-2018 05:46 PM)lark Wrote:  what confuses me is that no other girl treats me this way

What way is that? Giving you the bare minimum of attention to keep you around so you can feed her ego by paying attention to her and semi-chasing her?

Learn to recognize when you are barking up the wrong tree so you won't waste your time.

You're super friend zoned, dude.

^This.

Find other women.

Whats that you say? You can't even get this level of friend zone from other women?

Work on yourself.

That's where you are for now. Thats what this forum is for.
Seek out the posts of highly repped members who often have given advice to people who, like you, are starting at zero on the dial with women and the needle is travelling the wrong way.

Take the path of regular steps to improve yourself and then later the path of regular steps to improve your game and problems like this will become a distant memory.

Post: #7

deleted

Post: #8

Well if you don't really have a social circle, use this as an opportunity to make one. Use her as a wingwoman to get other girls. You probably don't have a shot with her, but use that as a stepping stone. Heck she could prob help you get other girls. Sometimes people are just nice and want to be friendly. I invite international kids or people without tons of friends to come hangout with me and my friends sometimes.

Post: #9

(03-03-2018 04:57 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  Her interest in you isn't "romantic", don't mistake friend zone vibes for attraction.

How do you differentiate the vibes between being in a friendzone and 'romantic' interest?

Apart from risking it by asking her out, is there any compliance tests or material that can be used to separate real potential from general friendliness/attention seeking behavior?

Post: #10

(03-04-2018 01:44 AM)Hazaer Wrote:  

(03-03-2018 04:57 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  Her interest in you isn't "romantic", don't mistake friend zone vibes for attraction.

How do you differentiate the vibes between being in a friendzone and 'romantic' interest?

Apart from risking it by asking her out, is there any compliance tests or material that can be used to separate real potential from general friendliness/attention seeking behavior?

I've written about this..

You don't, really.

If you enjoy spending time with her, spend time with her. Just don't expect or demand it to end in a bang. Maybe she's fun to hang out with or a good wing. If that's the case, by all means, keep hanging out. Sometimes a friendship leads to a bang, sometimes it doesn't. The key here is it can't be forced, and making statements like "We're not friends" isn't going to help. It's entirely up to you how much time and emotional investment you put into her. You also don't want her running around telling everyone in your social circle that you demanded a bang, and only pretended to be friends with her because you were trying to bang.

If you're only spending time with her just to try and get a bang, your strategy is counterproductive. The more time you spend with her, the more ordinary and available you become. From a distance, she assumes you're out making money, slaying hoes, building your business, etc. When you're spending all your time with her, well, she knows what you're up to all the time. Sexually, she wants a man who is better than her and to lead her. When you're spending all your time doing what she's doing, she is leading you.

If the bang is what you're looking for, dial back your time / emotional investment, and spend more time doing other stuff. (the gym, riding your bike, whatever you're into). Sporadically blow her out of her socks with your interesting and fun lifestyle. Take her on hikes, bike riding, to the gym, etc. Eventually she'll want you in her life and will fear the possibility of losing the most interesting person she knows. (Sporadic is the key word here -- occasionally take her out, but when you do, make sure it's something memorable).

The "Friend Zone" doesn't really exist, except to the extent you create it. I bang many of the women I am friends with. To an extent, we talk philosophy, business, and do activities together. Most of my FWBs will flat out say I'm the most interesting / masculine man in their life, and they wish I had more time for a serious relationship.

What the "Friend Zone" is, is a guy who chose to invest too much time and emotional energy into a woman, and in doing so, made himself appear an ordinary desperate loser. Women are usually incapable of good friendships with other women, so they value men who will orbit around them, listen to their problems, and be supportive. However, doing this does not result in a sexual relationship. Boiled down, if she's dictating all the activities, leading all the conversations, and you're just the "supporting cast", she views you as a girlfriend and not a lover.

To the extent she has a boyfriend, it doesn't matter. A significant amount of my FWBs have boyfriends. All women cheat on the drop of a dime if they meet a man who is either better looking, has more game, or is more interesting. It's called "monkey branching."

Women like having a beta male in their life who will remember to pay the rent / mortgage, drive them to the airport, clean the cat litter, and watch stupid movies with them on Netflix. However, they don't daydream about blowing the guy who runs a vacuum like a champion and always remembers to buy her non-fat vanilla Yoplait at the grocery store. The vast majority of women are always looking for an upgrade or a hot fling on the side.

Post: #11

(03-03-2018 02:24 PM)Rhyme or Reason Wrote:  She's not interested, move on. You will meet other girls. Don't linger, you're gonna cause trouble for yourself. Also if a girl invites you 'to events' or 'out with other people' she's angling for something else. I'm assuming these are events you have to fork over some amount of money to attend?

Agreed. No reason to put yourself in harm's way for something that won't benefit you long term. If she can flirt with you while having a boyfriend, you don't think she would do the same on you if you were together?

Post: #12

Would you say that she is noticeably left wing / sjw / bleeding heart liberal? If so, it's quite possible that you are a token darkie friend to her, and she enjoys the virtuous feeling of including you and displaying her cosmopolitan, Trump defying lifestyle, #notallmuslims #someofmybestfriendsarebannedfromtheusa and so on. Doesn't matter if you're Muslim or not, as long as you look the part. Middle Eastern friends are essential fashion accessories this season.

Post: #13

Maybe I shouldn't say this as somebody who lost his virginity to a girl with a boyfriend, but...
Generally, it takes some game, or a big spark between two people for a woman to cheat on a boyfriend she likes quite a bit. This does not seem to be the case.

I'd say, befriend her, enter her social circle, don't act like a fool - that's one way to improve your chances (with her friends).

Post: #14

look man here's the real set up

1. Go to the damn gym, i really hate to say it but if you're Middle Eastern then you are at a huge disadvantage. Don't listen to SJW yall have it pretty bad and the only way to combat this is to go for the exotic temptation, and the only way to be that is to BE as physically attractive as possible. There will always be hope but you can go from"barely making it" to "Cassanova, Adonis, Mr temptation" if you hit the gym. Plus you'll feel better

2. Live an interesting life. Don't do it for her, Just enjoy life on your own. Your life will seem more fulfilled, you'll be more interesting you'll be able to share a conversation with ANYBODY, plus you'll glow from happiness

3. GAME GAME GAME GAME, I know above I said work on your physical appearance but that doesn't mean you can simultaneously work on your charisma. CHarisma gets you a long way, from smooth-talking police out of a ticket, to banging the girl of your dreams.

4. Build your fortune, I made the mistake young of going out spending my money on getting girls or maintaining girls. Focus on your career and money. You can game at the same time, there are SO many free date ideas such as Hiking, Fishing, Walk at the park, training day at the gym, going to a lounge and listening to music ETC ETC. I've met many girls who said they go on dates simply to get free food, don't be that guy

5.Realize do you really want a girl who might be flirting with you if she has a boyfriend. I've met many girls who talk horribly about their boyfriends. Later turns out the guy was the typical beta provider who works too hard to give her the exciting life she wants.

BONUS, take up magic. Don't be corny and lame with it but have a couple bar tricks and card tricks to spark a conversation. It works very well for me as I do magic and sleight of hands as a hobby

Post: #15

(03-04-2018 08:31 PM)Keepiticy2 Wrote:  BONUS, take up magic. Don't be corny and lame with it but have a couple bar tricks and card tricks to spark a conversation. It works very well for me as I do magic and sleight of hands as a hobby

I agree, gym, interesting life, charisma, all great advice.

Is there really such a thing as magic that isn't corny and lame though? Can you give an example how this can come across as legit?

Also, OP, there is the possibility the girl is just using you to virtue signal. But at the same time there is only one way to find out. See if she is willing to hang out with you alone, outside of your circle.

Post: #16

Hm maybe I should have said corny but not lame. I use a couple of pen tricks and card tricks to impress girls. One trick I learned after watching "The Man From UNCLE" where he took the girl bracelet. I'll tell the girl I'm going to take 2 things tonight. Make an excuse to touch her neck or wrist. Take off jewelry or accessories and show her that i took them without her noticing them. She'll ALWAYS look surprised and impressed and typically ask ok whats the other thing you'll take. I'll confidently say "home tonight". Only failed me twice out of 10 or so times using it.

It's extremely corny. But she'll usually laugh her ass off and like you more.

Post: #17

(03-04-2018 11:26 PM)Keepiticy2 Wrote:  Hm maybe I should have said corny but not lame. I use a couple of pen tricks and card tricks to impress girls. One trick I learned after watching "The Man From UNCLE" where he took the girl bracelet. I'll tell the girl I'm going to take 2 things tonight. Make an excuse to touch her neck or wrist. Take off jewelry or accessories and show her that i took them without her noticing them. She'll ALWAYS look surprised and impressed and typically ask ok whats the other thing you'll take. I'll confidently say "home tonight". Only failed me twice out of 10 or so times using it.

It's extremely corny. But she'll usually laugh her ass off and like you more.

I like that a lot actually, doesn't sound like magic to me but more like solid game technique. Tell her your gonna steal something, then do it later without her noticing. Advanced flirting.

Post: #18

Bar tricks work wonders also. Hell I used the old "pull a quarter out of her ear" trick on an 18-year-old and it worked incredibly well. I felt ancient afterward (im only 24). Alot of younger guys go out of their way to be clever and over the top, sometimes a little-romanticized charm is all you need.

Post: #19

Thank you very much for all the great recommendations. Here's what i've noticed so far, when I ignore her she tries to get my attention and find excuses to speak with me, but once I'm open with her and give her my attention she ignores me. She invites me to do stuff alone, nothing that involves money, things like relaxing in the park, or hiking, actually I haven't spent a dime on her yet. She's in the left wing and I might be the middle-eastern friend-accessory to her, a thing that never crossed my mind but on the other hand, all her friends have the same mentality and attitude so having a non-white friend is something normal for them, i've met many friends of friends of her social circle who come from different places.

I think she has issues with her bf, she slept with other guys while they are together, and he also see someone, I'm not sure if they cheat on each other and then make it up, or they're in some open-relationship, yet when i ask her about him, her eyes shine and she talks with happiness about him. I don't want to be her boyfriend, she seem as someone who have emotional issues and I'm not in a position to handle this right now, I'm trying to figure out if i have a chance to be intimate with her. Why i just don't forget her and find someone else? because most people here don't see middle eastern in any positive way, lots of prejudices and negativity is associated with us and the little interest this girl shows in me is very very rare, i don't even get friend-zoned here.

All in all, I think she is using me to feed her ego, she seems to me as someone who has lots of issues and insecurities and manipulating me probably give her some feeling of power or validation...I'm still guessing though.

Post: #20

(03-04-2018 07:50 AM)HankMoody Wrote:  

(03-04-2018 01:44 AM)Hazaer Wrote:  

(03-03-2018 04:57 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  Her interest in you isn't "romantic", don't mistake friend zone vibes for attraction.

How do you differentiate the vibes between being in a friendzone and 'romantic' interest?

Apart from risking it by asking her out, is there any compliance tests or material that can be used to separate real potential from general friendliness/attention seeking behavior?

I've written about this..

You don't, really.

If you enjoy spending time with her, spend time with her. Just don't expect or demand it to end in a bang. Maybe she's fun to hang out with or a good wing. If that's the case, by all means, keep hanging out. Sometimes a friendship leads to a bang, sometimes it doesn't. The key here is it can't be forced, and making statements like "We're not friends" isn't going to help. It's entirely up to you how much time and emotional investment you put into her. You also don't want her running around telling everyone in your social circle that you demanded a bang, and only pretended to be friends with her because you were trying to bang.

If you're only spending time with her just to try and get a bang, your strategy is counterproductive. The more time you spend with her, the more ordinary and available you become. From a distance, she assumes you're out making money, slaying hoes, building your business, etc. When you're spending all your time with her, well, she knows what you're up to all the time. Sexually, she wants a man who is better than her and to lead her. When you're spending all your time doing what she's doing, she is leading you.

If the bang is what you're looking for, dial back your time / emotional investment, and spend more time doing other stuff. (the gym, riding your bike, whatever you're into). Sporadically blow her out of her socks with your interesting and fun lifestyle. Take her on hikes, bike riding, to the gym, etc. Eventually she'll want you in her life and will fear the possibility of losing the most interesting person she knows. (Sporadic is the key word here -- occasionally take her out, but when you do, make sure it's something memorable).

The "Friend Zone" doesn't really exist, except to the extent you create it. I bang many of the women I am friends with. To an extent, we talk philosophy, business, and do activities together. Most of my FWBs will flat out say I'm the most interesting / masculine man in their life, and they wish I had more time for a serious relationship.

What the "Friend Zone" is, is a guy who chose to invest too much time and emotional energy into a woman, and in doing so, made himself appear an ordinary desperate loser. Women are usually incapable of good friendships with other women, so they value men who will orbit around them, listen to their problems, and be supportive. However, doing this does not result in a sexual relationship. Boiled down, if she's dictating all the activities, leading all the conversations, and you're just the "supporting cast", she views you as a girlfriend and not a lover.

To the extent she has a boyfriend, it doesn't matter. A significant amount of my FWBs have boyfriends. All women cheat on the drop of a dime if they meet a man who is either better looking, has more game, or is more interesting. It's called "monkey branching."

Women like having a beta male in their life who will remember to pay the rent / mortgage, drive them to the airport, clean the cat litter, and watch stupid movies with them on Netflix. However, they don't daydream about blowing the guy who runs a vacuum like a champion and always remembers to buy her non-fat vanilla Yoplait at the grocery store. The vast majority of women are always looking for an upgrade or a hot fling on the side.

This is some good advice specially for guys starting out with game. The more you hang around her, the less interested she becomes no matter how tight one's game is, it has happened over and over again. Running into each other while being in different social circles is the best, then one day, you suggest a date and go for the home run.

The situation gets tricky when you are kind of put in a situation where you become part of the social circle and become too familiar with her. Example, for those in college, you happen to be her neighbor on campus and get to hang out with her all the time. Hank mentions that the bang can't be forced but in that case, how does escalation work? Do you wait for her to make the move? And then there is the issue of her getting to know all your interactions with other girls if things did not work out leading to a DLV in her eyes.