Post: #1

I take up game now and then, mostly when i'm fresh out of a relationship, looking for new adventures. But i have a problem, when i catch myself in a relationship i revert to my old self, that nice guy that follows her pipe, and slowly my relationships fall apart because i don't keep it strict and have her play my game, or i sit back and relax too much and forget that she can change to worse anytime, if i don't take the lead. Now my question is, how can i be able to cope with this situation? if i'm currently in a relationship, how do i push myself to go out spinning more plates instead of settling for the comfort zone with one girl, that perhaps i'm not even that interested in, or once the honeymoon phase passes, my feelings change, or we start arguing and i want to peace out from there.

It's hard when you're in a LTR to get out there, push yourself, since there's no real motivation, but the temptations are always there. Also it's even harder if your girlfriend finds out about your plans, or it will be hard to schedule her/school/game/(other girls) in a busy week, and she will start to mistake something is wrong, and you will end up drifting apart slowly. How do you approach this safely? I bet a lot of you guys still chase girls and do game while having a LTR or mini LTR. How does it work. Do you have to filter away your emotions and cold approach this? I don't want my game to lack or get worse because i'm in a relationship for so long, i want to be able to pick it right up after a breakup and rule it.

I feel like there's so many more girls showing me attention and showing interest in me when i'm in a relationship, this might be logical since you're projecting off less needy and much more confident behavior, and girls catch up on this quickly, and want to be a part of it. It's more attractive. I think i read some of you build "harem" of girls, but how do you deal with the girls that think you're in a relationship/ask you whether you're her boyfriend or not now. Giving you an ultimatum, while you just want to smash. Do you lie and manipulate them to have them think you're with them, and hope they never find out about the other girls, or what do you do. I'm talking about working on 2-3 girls at a time.

Post: #2

(03-12-2018 05:57 AM)firat113 Wrote:  But i have a problem, when i catch myself in a relationship i revert to my old self, that nice guy that follows her pipe, and slowly my relationships fall apart because i don't keep it strict and have her play my game, or i sit back and relax too much and forget that she can change to worse anytime, if i don't take the lead.

So why not work on changing your behavior and fixing these mistakes that you keep making and that you have recognized?

I'm confused what spinning more plates will do to help you fix your issues when dealing with girls in a relationship. You will get into a relationship with another one and do the same things and lose control again.

If you don't know how to stay on top of your game with one girl in a relationship you sure as hell aren't going to do better adding plates.

Post: #3

(03-12-2018 07:01 AM)Ice Man Wrote:  

(03-12-2018 05:57 AM)firat113 Wrote:  But i have a problem, when i catch myself in a relationship i revert to my old self, that nice guy that follows her pipe, and slowly my relationships fall apart because i don't keep it strict and have her play my game, or i sit back and relax too much and forget that she can change to worse anytime, if i don't take the lead.

So why not work on changing your behavior and fixing these mistakes that you keep making and that you have recognized?

I'm confused what spinning more plates will do to help you fix your issues when dealing with girls in a relationship. You will get into a relationship with another one and do the same things and lose control again.

If you don't know how to stay on top of your game with one girl in a relationship you sure as hell aren't going to do better adding plates.

If i keep my game sharp and have multiple options, i wont fall into desperate situations by default, and i can walk out of the relationship anytime = have the most power in the relationship, when im not the one chasing. This keeps the relationship strong, when the guy is in control and not the other way around. If the girl you're dating knows you don't put up with shit and drama, she wont create it, because seeing as you have other options and abundance mentality, she will fear that you will leave her anytime, so she is obliged to not stir up shit, and therefor make your life easier. But if she senses your insecure side or lack of options when you argue, and you have to apologize and make it up to satisfy her, she will take advantage of it. But this is not the point of the thread, it's mostly how i can manage to spin more plates with success, and still having a LTR on the side.

Post: #4

(03-12-2018 07:53 AM)firat113 Wrote:  If i keep my game sharp and have multiple options

Perhaps we are misunderstanding each other. Yes if you continually go out and meet girls it will indeed keep your ability to meet girls sharp. But that is something different entirely from knowing how to handle girls over a period of time.

From your OP so far you've only demonstrated that you can't keep one girl spinning over time.

How do you think you will manage with 2, 3, 4 of them at once over a period of time?

In other words you have gone to a talent show and expressed interest in spinning plates. The committee asks you about your experience, "well I don't know how to spin one plate well yet but I figure if I start with 3 it will keep me sharp".

Guys that are successfully spinning multiple plates are necessarily first and foremost very successful keeping one relationship going. Only after they're able to do that repeatedly over time do they try to keep two three or four going at once.

You have said that when you get one girl you go soft. That is not a good foundation for spinning plates.

Post: #5

It sounds, OP, like you have a FRAME problem, more than a GAME problem.

And using extra girls to prop that frame up is a demonstration of lack of inner frame. You are relying on external decorations - "plates" - to convince yourself that are not weak framed.

This is a losing proposition, my friend. If the girlies stop biting, as they sometimes do, your inner frame will not support your supposed "stronger" position in the relationship. And you know where that will lead.

Last stop - Betaville. They've left the light on for you.

Strong frame comes from within you, not from the fickle hearts of random "plates."

Post: #6

I think you misunderstand or i rephrased it badly in the OP. Getting out of control and falling back to a beta state was in the past, i learned from that. Nowadays i just get bored easily in a relationship. It's not the girls that stop biting, it's me. After the honeymoon phase, i just want to spin more plates to keep it all exciting, so i don't sit back with something im not actually happy with. Don't want to settle with comfort. I want to push myself and have my game sharp at all times, while being in a LTR, do you know what i mean?

Post: #7

(03-12-2018 09:38 AM)firat113 Wrote:  I think you misunderstand or i rephrased it badly in the OP. Getting out of control and falling back to a beta state was in the past, i learned from that. Nowadays i just get bored easily in a relationship. It's not the girls that stop biting, it's me. After the honeymoon phase, i just want to spin more plates to keep it all exciting, so i don't sit back with something im not actually happy with. Don't want to settle with comfort. I want to push myself and have my game sharp at all times, while being in a LTR, do you know what i mean?

Then your solution is a very simple one.

Eschew LTRs of any sort.

Stick to SNLs and general purpose fuck buddies. Problem solved!