Post: #1

I've been 'the relationship sloth' for about a year at this point. I think I'm done telling myself that I have something good. She is an emotional timebomb, her finances are ruined, she is not very good looking. The problem is this hole I've dug myself into. I moved into her place, all my shit is there, she's going through wild prescription enhanced mood swings, fainting and falling over a lot, and crying hysterically about what she might do if I left her (so she feels this coming). I tend to cave and try to re-assure her that I'm not going anywhere when she does this. The girl takes many different prescription drugs and I'm a little worried that she'd dose herself to death if I left her.

I'm getting heavy marriage pressure from her and I know that I will not be able to endure her tantrums for the rest of my life. She has deep dad issues, only had one partner before me and she was with him for her entire adult life. She endured his abuses because she thought she couldn't do any better (former fat girl syndrome).

I need to find a way out of this that doesn't involve all my personal shit being thrown outside and set on fire, or her drugging herself to death and blaming me in the note. I guess what I need is the prevailing wisdom on LTR exit strategy. Clearly I've missed many red flags and put myself in a dangerous situation, people around me have told me as much but it is easy to be clouded by this stuff when it is happening to you personally.

At the very least I guess I need to have a truck and a couple guys at the ready to pick up all my shit on short notice, likely when she's not home. So I'll have to prepare alternate living arrangements before making my exit, somehow without getting discovered. I'll have to break it off with her in-person, I'm thinking about telling her with blunt honesty and keeping it short. The true reason I want to exit is that I know I won't be able to tolerate her out of control tantrums and emotions forever, I'm also looking forward to regaining control over my precious after work time. I know this is going to break her heart and wreck her mentally for a long time. I need some advice on things I can do to minimize the damage.

I'd appreciate any suggestions for getting out of this mess.

Post: #2

I briefly lived with a woman who had been hiding depression and started making comments about suicidal thoughts at the same time she was pressing for a ring. Steered her to a psychiatrist then moved out while she was at work.

1) You're worried about how long it's going to take her to recover. Mine blew up my phone the day I ended it, hard, but was on two stunt cocks, dropping by for sentimental facials, married, and pregnant within about 18 months. Women usually bounce back from breakups more easily than men.

2) She's an adult and you aren't in charge of whether or not she hurts herself. If she wants a reason to do it, she'll find one with or without you.

3) You feel bad about the "abuse" she "endured". It's a coin-toss whether it was actually bad or if she's just remembering it that way. If she's a nightmare for you, she was probably a nightmare for him.

If you feel the need to be a gentleman about it, get the apartment lined up first, decide what valuables you want to take, explain that it's over, and take those first, with a witness present. If she's batshit and damages your property, at least you took your important stuff on the first pass.

Personally, I'd just call the movers and GTFO if it's as bad as it sounds.

Post: #3

First things first, well done on being honest about your situation and doing something about it. Making the decision however is easy, executing it is the hard part.

I am in the same position and I will write my full story soon, in the LTR thread.

I moved into my girls place 2 years ago (18 months in) and we have ended it, I am moving out this weekend. All is amicable.

The fact that it's amicable in my situation means my advice for you will be different to what I did but I anticipated the worst and prepared accordingly.

No matter what you do, you have to frame it that it's not her fault, because you will be met with emotional tidal waves and potentially be at a loss financially (possession-wise). What's your price?


Step 1 - Possessions audit

- What items did you purchase together? e.g. fridge, furniture, TV whatever

- Do you want to buy her out of it or simply get a furnished place and let her pay you (or potentially not)?

- What are the essentials you would take with you, if you had to leave immediately?


Step 2 - Find another place

- How is your rent sorted? Do you pay her directly?

- Does she own the place?

- If rented, did you pay a deposit together or to her?

- Start looking for other places or at least get a feel for what you want; ideal flat/house, alone or sharing, neighbourhoods etc.

- Worst case, find a buddy who you can crash with, temporarily.


Step 3 - Logistics of moving

- Find guys who can help you move immediately.

- Speak to your boss and let them know you may need to take emergency leave/vacation leave to sort shit out.

- Take an inventory of all your stuff, store it near in case you need to leave. Take photos of everything in case shit goes south and she decides to sell your shit (this has happened to guys I know). A witness is even better.

- Are any bills in your name? Start finding out how to transfer them to her name, ASAP (electricity, internet, phone, water etc.).

- Get boxes, maybe get some temporary storage and start moving stuff from the garage, stuff she may not notice.


Step 4 - Execution - telling her

- Most people require a tinder to set the fire alight for this to come out. Decide whether you want to wait for that or to simply go for it. Mine was a combination of both, I lost my temper but controlled the conversation.

- Figure out if she will be out of town for you to execute and move out peacefully. Less drama.

- Plan this during a time she isn't on her period otherwise it's going to be 3x the headache

- Be honest within the frame of 'it's me, not you'. You need to be happy and you want her to be happy. You don't want to end up resenting her. Be friendly and kill with politeness. Absorb all crying and negativity with soft power (hugs, pseudo affection). You can't promise her the future and you have your own direction to take.

- If not, do everything the hard way and confront her and say you are going forth with this. It's easier if you have found another place and put down a deposit because there's no going back. Again, soft power like above at all times.

- Make an inventory of stuff you will need for the new place.

- Once you plant the seed, shit will progress way quicker than you think. Women don't want to be with a guy who doesn't want to be with them.

- Cut contact, go cold. Plan around the social circle you both have created too. No booty calls, nothing.

- Inform her family if you need to, so they can keep an eye on her, considering she is emotionally unstable

- Don't stick your dick in crazy again

This is off the top of my head, I might come back and add more stuff if it comes up.

Best of luck, this is the start of a new beginning. You learned something valuable here and remember, once the seed is planted, there's no going back.

Post: #4

+ sort your finances out (save) because your lifestyle is going to become more expensive. No sharing costs and stuff.

Post: #5

Noir nails it -- and as I've mentioned in another thread --

Sometimes it can be helpful to frame the break-up / move-out as a "just moving out so maybe we can FIX the relationship with a clear head", just to get her through the move-out part. Then break up once safely moved out.

Post: #6

On a related tangent, Iron Rule of Tomassi #4 is, "NEVER under any circumstance live with a woman you aren’t married to or are not planning to marry in within 6 months."

As long as y'all are telling this guy how to BTFO, would you please add: "IR#4:Agree/Disagree" to the end of your post. I'd find that information useful.

Post: #7

Also try to have a witness when you end things.
Either a friend of yours or a family member of hers if possible (hard to work out logistically)
If no one is available then get a personal video recorder and record then entire interaction in a public place. Store that online and make multiple copies and send them to multiple people. Just in case she makes any accusations of you threatening her or assaulting her your ass is covered.
Have a few friends go through your stuff with you on video to verify which items belong to her or to you.
Video evidence will be your life boat.
You may not need it, but it's good to keep in your back pocket.

Post: #8

Time for an update

I've finished my breakup preparations. I sign the lease on a new apartment this afternoon. I borrowed a camcorder to record the move. The breakup happens tomorrow evening. I took the rest of the week off of work ahead of the long weekend (Memorial Day for us Americans). The logistics weren't so bad to work out, I've quietly removed my name from our bills, my stuff should fit in my car and a buddy's truck. I'm leaving behind some minor housewares like dishes and linens that are easily replaced. I've already deleted all her nudes from my phone. After the breakup I'll clear her out of my social media pages. Two of my friends are booked to show up and help haul as soon as she's out at work. The move should go fine so long as she doesn't come home by surprise during the process and the weather stays dry; even if those things do happen the move will continue.

After going through my spreadsheets I found that I was carrying most of the living costs. It didn't appear that way until I accounted for all the money on food and alcohol that I wouldn't have spent on myself, she drinks a LOT. I curbed my drinking significantly after reading one of those testosterone articles on ROK a couple years ago. It is nearly a break even, though some of that will go negative once I resume dating but within a tolerable limit. Compiling all my financials into these spreadsheets has been an enlightening exercise that I should have done a long time ago. I didn't fully appreciate how small purchases accumulate without having a look at the bigger picture. Without the expenses of vodka alone I'll have more room to spend than I thought, even if I keep saving at a good rate. I think I'll join a gym and buy some DJ equipment after this is over. I need to rebuild my personality after being in this relationship bubble for so long.

Due to a recent marriage ultimatum this is all happening slightly faster than I had initially planned, I'm glad to have this processed kicked along faster. When I told her that I didn't feel ready to get married she lost her damn mind. My friends came through for me quickly. I've been feeding them little redpills for a few years now and they are slowly unplugging. I've already booked the move out time, the time off work, and informed my family so there is no going back on the decision, it WILL happen tomorrow. My plan is to get up as if it were a normal work day, eat some breakfast with my friends then buy some boxes. Once she is out of the house we will pack all my shit on camera. With all my belongings secured, I'll then call some of her friends and family and tell them what is about to happen. I'll wait for her to come home from work and do the breakup in person when she arrives, then it will be up to her friends and family to keep her from hurting herself. I'm not very worried about the mutual friends fallout, her girlfriends will think I'm a huge asshole for leaving her but that is not a major loss. I think that even her best friends realize that she is an emotionally unstable nightmare. All of the friends I had from before are still with me. There are not many social situations where we are likely to run into each other.

I am very grateful for all of your advice, I'll let you know how it goes.

Post: #9

Man this thread is solid advice for any guy who doubts his relationship with his chick and lives with her.

I'd +1 Jetset and Noir again if I could.

Solid plan for Silver and so far solid execution, +1 for you bro, good luck!

Post: #10

I have a lot to say about this...

1. Always have your own place. Always. Have your own residence, your own office, your own business, etc. This way you can do whatever you want. No one can kick you out, throw out your shit, or fire you. I wake up every morning worried about nothing because I have my own place, my own business, my own truck, my own bank accounts, etc. Literally nothing bad can happen to me unless someone breaks my ankles in jiu jitsu or I get into a car accident. Possession is 9/10ths of the law. Structure your life in a way that you're in control of everything. It makes life way less complicated.

2. Marriage is retarded and antiquated. There is no reason to give a woman half your shit. I am representing a client right now who was married to a girl for less than two years. Started a very successful business while she stayed at home and Instagrammed modeled. He's going to be making a very hefty payment to her, even though she contributed nothing to the business and cheated on him. She's also currently living with another man. But she wants her former husband's money.

3. You're not married, so it's not like she can do anything about it. Keep the nudes if you want them (just don't disseminate them), and your social media presence isn't relevant to anything. She can't sue you for breaking up with her. Until you're married and/or have kids, you can walk right out of this.

4. All men should own a truck. None of this Prius bullshit. Do you know how many times my Dodge Ram has gotten me out of a jam? Too many to count, both personally and professionally. Yeah, the gas milage can suck, but I can drive wherever I want, move whatever I need, make runs to Home Depot, put my kayaks in the bed, and basically do whatever I want. Bonus: I keep my hardhat on the dashboard and just park wherever the fuck I feel like. Sidewalks, in the middle of the street, you name it. Double bonus: total poon magnet. Buy a truck.

5. You have no moral obligation to her. You don't have kids together. People say life is short? Life is actually very long, and living it miserably would be awful. Months go by slowly, years go by quickly. (I think that's a song lyric). If she isn't suiting your needs, you're not under any moral obligation to stay with her. If you're bored, read Ayn Rand. I'm a Christian, but I also recognize there is a benefit to some degree of selfishness. If you live your life according to everyone else's terms, you're never going to be happy. Plus, you're wasting time you could be spending with other women whose presence you actually enjoy.

That's basically the Hank Moody philosophy on life. Be in control of everything.

Post: #11

(05-24-2018 11:15 AM)Silver_Tube Wrote:  Time for an update

I've finished my breakup preparations. I sign the lease on a new apartment this afternoon. I borrowed a camcorder to record the move. The breakup happens tomorrow evening. I took the rest of the week off of work ahead of the long weekend (Memorial Day for us Americans). The logistics weren't so bad to work out, I've quietly removed my name from our bills, my stuff should fit in my car and a buddy's truck. I'm leaving behind some minor housewares like dishes and linens that are easily replaced. I've already deleted all her nudes from my phone. After the breakup I'll clear her out of my social media pages. Two of my friends are booked to show up and help haul as soon as she's out at work. The move should go fine so long as she doesn't come home by surprise during the process and the weather stays dry; even if those things do happen the move will continue.

After going through my spreadsheets I found that I was carrying most of the living costs. It didn't appear that way until I accounted for all the money on food and alcohol that I wouldn't have spent on myself, she drinks a LOT. I curbed my drinking significantly after reading one of those testosterone articles on ROK a couple years ago. It is nearly a break even, though some of that will go negative once I resume dating but within a tolerable limit. Compiling all my financials into these spreadsheets has been an enlightening exercise that I should have done a long time ago. I didn't fully appreciate how small purchases accumulate without having a look at the bigger picture. Without the expenses of vodka alone I'll have more room to spend than I thought, even if I keep saving at a good rate. I think I'll join a gym and buy some DJ equipment after this is over. I need to rebuild my personality after being in this relationship bubble for so long.

Due to a recent marriage ultimatum this is all happening slightly faster than I had initially planned, I'm glad to have this processed kicked along faster. When I told her that I didn't feel ready to get married she lost her damn mind. My friends came through for me quickly. I've been feeding them little redpills for a few years now and they are slowly unplugging. I've already booked the move out time, the time off work, and informed my family so there is no going back on the decision, it WILL happen tomorrow. My plan is to get up as if it were a normal work day, eat some breakfast with my friends then buy some boxes. Once she is out of the house we will pack all my shit on camera. With all my belongings secured, I'll then call some of her friends and family and tell them what is about to happen. I'll wait for her to come home from work and do the breakup in person when she arrives, then it will be up to her friends and family to keep her from hurting herself. I'm not very worried about the mutual friends fallout, her girlfriends will think I'm a huge asshole for leaving her but that is not a major loss. I think that even her best friends realize that she is an emotionally unstable nightmare. All of the friends I had from before are still with me. There are not many social situations where we are likely to run into each other.

I am very grateful for all of your advice, I'll let you know how it goes.

Military precision. I like it.

You're about to go through hell mate. Keep going till you reach the other side. Other side, not suicide.... just kidding.

You will indeed need to rebuild your personality, and the best thing about it is that you can model your new personality to attract maximum poon. I used learning instruments and gym, but DJing and gym should work as well if not better.

There will most likely be moments of weakness upon your part. Do not act upon them, not even in the slightest. Block her number. THROW yourself into gym and DJing, and meet as many new people (blokes and chicks) as you can.

Enjoy. It'll be worth it.

Post: #12

(05-24-2018 12:46 PM)HankMoody Wrote:  I have a lot to say about this...

1. Always have your own place. Always. Have your own residence, your own office, your own business, etc. This way you can do whatever you want. No one can kick you out, throw out your shit, or fire you. I wake up every morning worried about nothing because I have my own place, my own business, my own truck, my own bank accounts, etc. Literally nothing bad can happen to me unless someone breaks my ankles in jiu jitsu or I get into a car accident. Possession is 9/10ths of the law. Structure your life in a way that you're in control of everything. It makes life way less complicated.

2. Marriage is retarded and antiquated. There is no reason to give a woman half your shit. I am representing a client right now who was married to a girl for less than two years. Started a very successful business while she stayed at home and Instagrammed modeled. He's going to be making a very hefty payment to her, even though she contributed nothing to the business and cheated on him. She's also currently living with another man. But she wants her former husband's money.

3. You're not married, so it's not like she can do anything about it. Keep the nudes if you want them (just don't disseminate them), and your social media presence isn't relevant to anything. She can't sue you for breaking up with her. Until you're married and/or have kids, you can walk right out of this.

4. All men should own a truck. None of this Prius bullshit. Do you know how many times my Dodge Ram has gotten me out of a jam? Too many to count, both personally and professionally. Yeah, the gas milage can suck, but I can drive wherever I want, move whatever I need, make runs to Home Depot, put my kayaks in the bed, and basically do whatever I want. Bonus: I keep my hardhat on the dashboard and just park wherever the fuck I feel like. Sidewalks, in the middle of the street, you name it. Double bonus: total poon magnet. Buy a truck.

5. You have no moral obligation to her. You don't have kids together. People say life is short? Life is actually very long, and living it miserably would be awful. Months go by slowly, years go by quickly. (I think that's a song lyric). If she isn't suiting your needs, you're not under any moral obligation to stay with her. If you're bored, read Ayn Rand. I'm a Christian, but I also recognize there is a benefit to some degree of selfishness. If you live your life according to everyone else's terms, you're never going to be happy. Plus, you're wasting time you could be spending with other women whose presence you actually enjoy.

That's basically the Hank Moody philosophy on life. Be in control of everything.

I wanna rep you again so fucking hard. No homo.

Trucks are awesome. A doublecab pickup comes in handy so many times you'll loose count.

Post: #13

(05-24-2018 11:15 AM)Silver_Tube Wrote:  Time for an update

I've finished my breakup preparations. I sign the lease on a new apartment this afternoon. I borrowed a camcorder to record the move. The breakup happens tomorrow evening. I took the rest of the week off of work ahead of the long weekend (Memorial Day for us Americans). The logistics weren't so bad to work out, I've quietly removed my name from our bills, my stuff should fit in my car and a buddy's truck. I'm leaving behind some minor housewares like dishes and linens that are easily replaced. I've already deleted all her nudes from my phone. After the breakup I'll clear her out of my social media pages. Two of my friends are booked to show up and help haul as soon as she's out at work. The move should go fine so long as she doesn't come home by surprise during the process and the weather stays dry; even if those things do happen the move will continue.

That's key. Get everything in one fell swoop. Rent a big truck if you have to.

Then get a nice bottle or case of beer and thank your friends.

Finally, realize she'll pull out all the stops so be careful not to fall off the wagon. Don't tell her where you live.

Consider filing with the post office so your mail gets forwarded.

Post: #14

Well today is the day. My friends are ready to head over as soon as I confirm that she’s out, camcorder is all charged up, I have a good list of all the things we’re taking. I’m about to pick up some last minute packing supplies then i’m all set.

I’m nervous about the tantrum I’ll face this evening. I’ve had to put on this charade for the past two days like everything was okay between us, she will not expect the breakup.

Post: #15

She has only had 1 partner before you...... well, that's a very good thing.... It sucks that you need to let a clingy woman like that go?

The drugs part, isnt however.

Post: #16

Shit load of good advice on this thread but one thing you should also watch out for Is Domestic Violence related accusations.

I've had 3 girls in my life that were not stable at the time of breakups lay that scare in. 1 actually got me charged but it was later dismissed, 2 laid very serious threats where I had to get police involved to get out of the situations and to remove my things. One time I had to get the court involved. It sounds a bit dramatic but it's not only happened to me but a few of my friends as well.

If this girl is very attached to you which many girls especially if they are borderline will be you have to watch your ass nowadays. The one I was arrested for there were no marks and it was he said she said. I also was not in the apartment during the time she said I beat her and thankfully was in a place that was able to prove I was there. I still did a weekend in Jail because it was a Friday when I was arrested and it still cost me a few thousand dollars to get acquitted and the charge pulled from my record.

All three were a if you leave me I'll tell the cops you did xyz (that I didn't do) 1 was if you don't give me money I'll tell the cops you raped me. No joke, I actually got that one recorded because the state I was in at the time it was legal to do that which saved my ass.

Have a close friend with you present at all times when you decide to break up and when you move out. My father practiced family and domestic law for 40+ years, one additional piece of advice he gave me during those times was notify the police the times you're going to be moving your things some departments will actually position a patrol car within eye shot of your place. I did this two of the three times.

Some dark shit you never would guess can come out of girls when you initiate a breakup and the current environment in America it does not take any evidence to at least get charged for DV or rape if the girl is batshit.

Also HankMoody's advice is spot the fuck on, I'll never allow a women to live with me again nor share a lease or anything of the sorts. All these events happened when I was in my 20's and a lot more retarded than the present day. I've now progressed to mild retardation which means I'll still stick my dick in crazy occasionally, just don't let them know where you live, work or know who any of your friends are.

Post: #17

Move your stuff into storage and run away to a foreign land with no contact to home. Leave a letter.

Post: #18

(05-24-2018 11:15 AM)Silver_Tube Wrote:  Time for an update

I've already deleted all her nudes from my phone.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Before you uploaded them on a NSFW thread?!

Bro!

Post: #19

(05-25-2018 08:06 AM)nola Wrote:  Shit load of good advice on this thread but one thing you should also watch out for Is Domestic Violence related accusations.

I've had 3 girls in my life that were not stable at the time of breakups lay that scare in. 1 actually got me charged but it was later dismissed, 2 laid very serious threats where I had to get police involved to get out of the situations and to remove my things. One time I had to get the court involved. It sounds a bit dramatic but it's not only happened to me but a few of my friends as well.

If this girl is very attached to you which many girls especially if they are borderline will be you have to watch your ass nowadays. The one I was arrested for there were no marks and it was he said she said. I also was not in the apartment during the time she said I beat her and thankfully was in a place that was able to prove I was there. I still did a weekend in Jail because it was a Friday when I was arrested and it still cost me a few thousand dollars to get acquitted and the charge pulled from my record.

All three were a if you leave me I'll tell the cops you did xyz (that I didn't do) 1 was if you don't give me money I'll tell the cops you raped me. No joke, I actually got that one recorded because the state I was in at the time it was legal to do that which saved my ass.

Have a close friend with you present at all times when you decide to break up and when you move out. My father practiced family and domestic law for 40+ years, one additional piece of advice he gave me during those times was notify the police the times you're going to be moving your things some departments will actually position a patrol car within eye shot of your place. I did this two of the three times.

Some dark shit you never would guess can come out of girls when you initiate a breakup and the current environment in America it does not take any evidence to at least get charged for DV or rape if the girl is batshit.

I've seen that happen quite a few times.

Man is like "I'm sick of your shit; I'm out."

From there, woman makes fake allegations like "he beat me all the time" or, even worse, "he molested our child."

I had a case where a woman made three allegations of molestation, all of which were unfounded. The court didn't do anything to punish the woman, either. Despite my client incurring about $30k in legal fees. ("She might have believed this happened, and tried to protect her child.")

I had another case where my client went to jail for a weekend because his ex-wife said he showed up at her house and beat her up. Turns out he was at work, and he had time sheets to prove it. But my white collar finance guy did a weekend in jail because she made false allegations. Ramifications to her? None. Ramifications to him? Legal fees and a weekend in jail.

The good news is there is no marriage or kids, which puts the ball in your court.

The bad news is the courts are hesitant to impose any ramifications on women whatsoever.

Post: #20

The move out is underway, camera rolling. I don’t expect accusations, but I can record our interactions from here onward, good advice. I’ve looked into recording consent law in my area and feel good about it.

My main concern is the suicide risk, I know I’m not responsible but it would fuck up my psyche if she hurt herself.

Post: #21

Females are better at surviving than you think, even if they manipulate you into believing they need you. Just make your last contact sincere, yet uplifting.

Post: #22

(05-25-2018 09:01 AM)Silver_Tube Wrote:  The move out is underway, camera rolling. I don’t expect accusations, but I can record our interactions from here onward, good advice. I’ve looked into recording consent law in my area and feel good about it.

My main concern is the suicide risk, I know I’m not responsible but it would fuck up my psyche if she hurt herself.

The Venn diagram of people who threaten to kill themselves over a breakup and the people who actually kill themselves after a breakup is pretty lopsided. She's more likely to truly debase herself to try to get/keep your attention. Don't fall for it.

Post: #23

(05-25-2018 09:25 AM)Jetset Wrote:  

(05-25-2018 09:01 AM)Silver_Tube Wrote:  The move out is underway, camera rolling. I don’t expect accusations, but I can record our interactions from here onward, good advice. I’ve looked into recording consent law in my area and feel good about it.

My main concern is the suicide risk, I know I’m not responsible but it would fuck up my psyche if she hurt herself.

The Venn diagram of people who threaten to kill themselves over a breakup and the people who actually kill themselves after a breakup is pretty lopsided. She's more likely to truly debase herself to try to get/keep your attention. Don't fall for it.

In my 3 true nut job experiences the debasing was just the beginning, the longer I was out of contact to more it escalated. As a few days and weeks went on and they realized their was no way for them to negotiate my return or a meetup "to talk" the more tactical each of them got.

When a girl threatens to kill herself during a break up that is a pretty solid sign of borderline personality disorder especially combined with the drug use.

I sure hope the OP gets out clean. I know this feeling all to well.

As far as the OP worrying about killing herself I highly doubt that would be her next action. This is just the way desperate people in desperate situations negotiate. Self harm threats are usually just phishing attempts for a person to gauge the others level of seriousness.

I'll bet once that place is empty of his stuff the real drama will begin.

Post: #24

(05-25-2018 09:24 AM)ProGambler Wrote:  Females are better at surviving than you think, even if they manipulate you into believing they need you. Just make your last contact sincere, yet uplifting.

A good friend of mine was in a dysfunctional marriage that he wanted out of. For 5 years he "tried" to leave but "couldn't" because she kept guilting him into staying. She'd break down in fits of despair and tears every time he was about to leave citing the kids, the sanctity of marriage, the family etc. All valid arguments.

But the second she met someone else at a work function it was "We deserve to be happy" , "Its obvious our relationship is broken" "The dysfunction is unhealthy for the kids" etc. In other words "Im good now so adios motherfucker"

Yes they have an uncanny ability to "survive"

Post: #25

@ HankMoody, My dad had a case with a Airline Captain who was accused of DV while he was in another country. He ended up getting detained at the airport upon returning home from his rotation. (not married but had kids with a former ex wife and shared custody)

My dad got him off the DV charges but the ex girlfriend filed rape charges after the DV charges were dismissed. It took my father months to get the bail reduced enough as the guy was in debt and had no other close family to put up bail. Also he had no criminal history, they had changed the bail requirements in this state where the judge had little to no control.

My dad got the false rape charge dismissed because the police actually did a good job on the case in regards to their interviews with the ex-girlfriend or "victim".

Wasn't over yet...

His ex wife then filed for full custody and won in family court later. He rehired my dad to fight that after he lost custody and it took another 2 years with him only allowed to see his kids in the presence of DSS. Because in this state just because you weren't found guilty does not mean you were innocent. Enter victim advocacy bullshit.

The ex wife was able to use dismissed charges from another women to win full custody. WTF

The poor guy lost his career and entire retirement over a girl he dated for less than a year and lived with him less than a few months.

He actually ended up killing himself a few years later. Warning story my dad gave me a long time ago.