Post: #1

I've been daygaming hard for the past couple months or so and it hasn't gone anywhere so for now I'm in a "soft-MGTOW" position where I don't bother going out of my way to chase girls. Because it took too much time and energy and mental wellbeing to chase every single girl I saw that I liked.

Generally when I go about my life or walk in the city I try to keep in my peripherals girls I like and when I'm in daygame mode I consciously and subconsciously try and engineer a great situation to approach. I've been going to this gymnastics class semi-regularly, it happens 2x a week but I've been going once every 2 weeks or so. Last time I went in addition to the ~2-3 "regulars" who I liked I also noticed this new girl who pinged my radar. She was with the group of 5-7 people/regulars, mostly guys. I imagined she gave me some really subtle IOIs but I suck at identifying IOIs and am used to daygame's 97% rejection rate so I couldn't really be bothered doing anything about it.

At the end I went to my bag/drinks by myself and noticed a little while later she followed on her own. I figured that was one of the biggest IOIs you could give without being blatant, so I did a social opener, and asked if she was related to one of the other girls in her group, she said no and laughed, just friends, then we talked about where we were from(she's half Asian- in case that might matter). I asked her name, we chit chatted for a bit, I wasn't feeling in a social mood so I might've been a bit more standoffish than I wanted to be, and the interaction probably fell flat, although that was my impression and she might not have felt that. Then as her group came she blended into that.

Before that, I was tempted to ask her out, but I've done that dozens of times in cold approaches before where I straight up asked them out and never actually gotten anything other than 1-2 dates that didn't go anywhere. So I thought I'd be a bit more chill about it.

I think one of the biggest problems with my approaches in the past is my tendency to after a few minutes building comfort, immediately tell them I want to see them again etc, without bothering to tease or properly build attraction. So I'd have to focus on that more in general.

I'm also not much of a social circle person either- I'm really different to Kiwis and so I've learned to with the fact that it's better I realise this(previously, when I tried to integrate, they would do stuff that really grinds my gears and vice versa). NZ is a very social circle country and 95%+ of friendships/relationships come from that and it's quite insular, so I'm not actually completely sure about what's the "proper" thing to do in social situations like these. They are very passive people so I'm guessing what normal people would do is hang around a bunch and eventually casually get together somehow.

Edit: I figure I'll try and go again this week/next, and try to spot her again. If I do, I'll try and tease her a decent amount and spike the interaction, and if it works, when she has the "fuck me" eyes I'll exchange contact details and get her out.

Post: #2

How old are you? Roughly, how old is she?

Post: #3

21. I'm guessing she's 19-21, but it's not out of the question that she's older.

Post: #4

Start a normal conversation with her.
Then once you find out what she's into find a way to bring her along to similar but not the exact same activity that you're already doing.
Its smooth and under the radar and if she says no, it's not a solid rejection that you have to deal with at the gym.
It will get around that you asked her out and she said no. Probably dont want that kind of reputation in a place you visit often.

If she says yes then you can take your time and escalate.

Post: #5

Ask her out for coffee or ice cream something that doesn't scream 'date!'

Post: #6

Updates?

Post: #7

Tell her you were born of a multi-billionaire father who owned an enormous conglomerate of businesses in a multinational corporation. As a child you fell into a well and you spooked a lot of bats, and they scared you, too... Soon after that your parents were murdered by a complete psychopath and you inherited the entire empire. The episode with the bats caused you reoccurring nightmares for the majority of your life until one day, you decide to venture forth and become a ninja. You had to climb some mountain and there was some bullshit with a flower, but when you got to the top, it was all cool... After years of that, you decided to go home and fight crime....

On the contrary, you could say: Dang, that was a great workout, I could use a protein shake. Come on; I'm buying.

Post: #8

(04-05-2018 09:23 PM)Bienvenuto Wrote:  Updates?

Haven't been going, I've been really busy with other stuff lately.

Post: #9

(04-05-2018 09:54 PM)The Catalyst Wrote:  

(04-05-2018 09:23 PM)Bienvenuto Wrote:  Updates?

Haven't been going, I've been really busy with other stuff lately.

Translation: "She wasn't into me as much as I was thinking"