Post: #1

I've been seeing this girl for about 2 months. We recently decided to both get tested for STDs. Everything came back negative except I have HSV-1 (cold sores) and hers came back positive for HSV-2. We were using condoms up to this point, which from what I understand are not foolproof against herpes.

The thing is I really like her. She's sweet, feminine, and good to me. She has strong feelings for me as well. And I don't think the herpes is a result of a slutty past, she just got unlucky. She was kind of devastated by the news although I guess it's not the worst thing in the world. She told me she's never had any outbreaks or symptoms. I consoled her but now thinking if I should continue seeing her or not.

Post: #2

Leave.
Girls lie all the time about how the get infected with std's.
Be honest as to why you're breaking things off so she doesn't have to guess.

Post: #3

personally, I say this is a huge red flag and i would leave but I'm not experienced enough to tell you that's what you should do. Seems you like her and really want to work things out. DO you feel like this is genuine or oneitis

Post: #4

Leave bro, you’ll regret it later. What if things don’t pan out an you get it too.

Post: #5

No way I'd date someone with an STD.

That's your health, man.

Post: #6

As soon as this plate doesn't work out you're going to keep fucking like the rabbit you are... and there's only 3 degrees of separation between you and me. Do us all a favor and don't get infected.

Post: #7

The one thing I would query is that she has never experienced an outbreak.

I would discreetly get a qualified GMU opinion on that.

Other than that..

I know plenty of guys with coldsores who went down on their girlfriends and gave them HSV-2.

I've spoken to people that work in this field (was STD tested myself recently) and the HSV-1, HSV-2 distinction is a misnomer these days.
A large percentage of people's coldsores on their lips are testing HSV 2 whilst they don't themselves have genital herpes.

I personally know girlfriends of my mates that they went down on with a cold sore that got HSV 2 herpes from them. Sure my buddies have dicked around in their day but they weren't cheating at the time. Both parties were faithful - the guy is dumb (or they both were) and goes down on her with a coldsore. Sweet, low notch girls. They now have genital HSV.. 1 or 2 depending.

I had this conversation on another forum and people claimed expertise because "I'm ambulance crew!" "I'm a podiatrist!" but speaking to a few >medics in the field< they stand by the opinion that its as simple as someone with either strain going down on an unsuspecting girl (or they were both careless and ignored the coldsore cos they were both drunk and horny).

What you should do with the information the testing has provided you both with --- VS ----- judgements to be made about her and her past are two very different things.

It may be that you choose to walk away based on advice and reflection.

Its easy for the keyboard jockeys to declare with certainty 'she's a slag! she's a slut!' but a more honest answer is that based on the information we have on this post we don't know enough information to make those strong judgements.

HSV is easy to pass on and it only needs one instance.

That is a potential exoneration of your girl AND a sobering thought regarding your own health.

I don't think this is cut and dried and it may be that this a real bitch to weigh up as you have something good with this girl.

Post: #8

(03-31-2018 12:33 AM)kinjutsu Wrote:  Leave.

Do this.

Quote:Be honest as to why you're breaking things off so she doesn't have to guess.

But skip this.

Post: #9

Your mind and your gut feelings are at odds with one another. Go with your gut, it doesn't lie, but your mind with rationalize things all day long.

Post: #10

Leave.

There are only two options:

1. You stay with her and there's happily ever after...except you're constantly worried that you're gonna come down with them. Not much of a way to live the rest of your life.

2. You break up with her now or later. Best do it now because if it happens later and you've come down with it, it's not much of a way to live the rest of your life.

Post: #11

She has or has not had an outbreak "downstairs"?

Post: #12

I'd wish her well and move on, but why do you care if you already have HSV? You're both going to be taking suppressives and it's not clear to me that, e.g., her HSV-2 isn't going to show up as cold sores instead of genital warts.

Post: #13

One thing is for sure. You want to look more into the science and rather talk with a few doctors about this.
I assume very few of us here are experts enough to say how likely it is that you can infect her with herpes by going down on her or what not in regards to the circumstances. Then I think you can make a more rational decision.

I suppose you will hear something you're not going to like and you should prepare yourself for a reality where she has cheated. It's so common nowadays and many girls have become experts at appearing like tradthots so then it would just be a question about see what you can learn from the experience and move on.

But hey, then you would at least have been with a nice and polite cheating slut. There's the bitchy and arrogant cheating types too that have absolutely no morals.

Post: #14

You can get 1 or 2 in both places.

If you've already got 1, and she's got 2, but never had an outbreak down below, I wouldn't worry too much about it.

I dated a girl that got outbreaks on her face and she knew they were coming long before you could see any evidence of it.

So I would avoid kissing her when she had a cold sore.

I never caught it from her and we were together for 5+ years.

I wouldn't be so confident if this were genital outbreaks though, however I think the chances of catching genital herpes from someone that has the virus but is not experiencing an outbreak, or has not ever experienced an outbreak, are pretty remote.

Possible...sure, but in theory you can catch the clap or the HIV from a BJ. Remotely possible, but theoretically possible.

Post: #15

My two cents. If you are clear that you want her as a wife and mother of your kids, then herpes should not be a dealbreaker, especially since she is asymptomatic.

Anything less and it doesn't make sense. Sure, you can use all the protection and drugs and your chances of getting it are low, but it's not worth it.

Post: #16

What everyone else said LEAVE

Sure the chicks nice right now she knows she has a lifelong issue. I'd be sweet too.

PondScum touched on one issue "mother of your kids" ...but there is a little more detail required. Doctors that know a pregnant woman has herpes strongly recommend cesarean c-sections to not risk the baby getting herpes.

and don't kiss the baby later on "both of you" or risk transmission.....herpes infects all skin areas (if skin area is thin enough) not just mouth genitals (and ass).

Herpes can cause mental illness later in life. I am not exactly clear on how it gets into the brain or what it does to the mind because I don't want to know! nor do I have the time to ever want to know.

I am no doctor...check out what I wrote yourself.

But I highly recommend your girlfriend go find another guy (or willing beta to accept/want/beg for her affliction) with the same condition as herself. She probably has HPV along with Herpes if she was sexually active.

Post: #17

(03-31-2018 09:13 AM)PondScum Wrote:  My two cents. If you are clear that you want her as a wife and mother of your kids, then herpes should not be a dealbreaker, especially since she is asymptomatic.

Anything less and it doesn't make sense. Sure, you can use all the protection and drugs and your chances of getting it are low, but it's not worth it.

You're cool with a herpes mouth kissing your kids good night? That's so wrong. Poor kid, being exposed to disease due to someone else's bad decisions before they can even speak a language.

I guess that's life for a lot of people, but I want to set my kids up for a good life, not expose them to disease.

Post: #18

Isn't this site full of articles and posts extolling the virtues of game and high notch counts? You think there are no consequences to this type of behavior? That none of you would post positive to this or that contagious condition? I know I have read on many occasions that more than half of all sexually active people will test positive for HSV 1 and also as another poster pointed out the lines between 1 and 2 have become blurred. It only takes one encounter to hit this unlucky lottery so I would never feel confident about labeling the young woman based on her test results. Whether he should stay or go is entirely up to him. His decision is based on his feelings for her and his assessment of her character. Either way it could be a wise decision or it could be a mistake. That's life, we live and learn. Lastly do not interpret this post as being anti game. If you are a player, then by all means play on. If you are searching for the "one" then good luck. I just don't think some of you are being realistic, the majority are harboring at least one condition in their system. Not only that but for quite some time there have been reliable medications that can greatly control this type of condition. It's a tough choice for the OP and I wish him the best.

Post: #19

The advice to leave her makes no sense.

HSV is easy to catch. It's no evidence of her being a slut.
Is every girl with cold sores on her lip also a skank who made bad decisions or someone who was unlucky?

Talk with your doctor about the possible consequences of catching it. Take this into consideration when you make the decision.

Also take in consideration that if you become single and start fucking more girls you will be exposed to all kinds of infections, not just the common STD's.

Post: #20

Friendzone her.

Post: #21

(03-31-2018 10:47 AM)asdfk Wrote:  The advice to leave her makes no sense.

HSV is easy to catch. It's no evidence of her being a slut.
Is every girl with cold sores on her lip also a skank who made bad decisions or someone who was unlucky?

You can have them.

Post: #22

80% of people who have herpes don't even know they have it. It's unfortunate, it's life, but not the end of the world.
There are forums out there with an entire HSV community more knowledgeable than us. Do your research, be safe

Post: #23

If this poster was on a deserted island with only this one girl then sure do whatever. We don't know this posters age he may be a young fella looking for advice on making a lifelong decision. Are there other options for him?

Yes 10's of millions of people have cold sores without outbreaks and live with it. I'm going to make a quick point..the cold sore isn't the problem it's the "emotional state" of women (men) that catch STD's. Women view themselves as good girls. Women have enough self esteem issues to fill the Titanic having HPV2 adds more negativity into a woman's internal dialogue.

Is this poster seeing a sweet feminine girl or seeing the mask she puts on? How many guys have had a girlfriend that would even consider getting tested for STD's? In my 50 plus year ZIPPO. Which leads me to believe this posters girlfriend wants this guy to walk into "her" situation eyes wide open...and accept the risk (of transmission) (and guilt free if relationship fails) There are millions of narcissistic females out there today so be careful

The other minor issue is gambling with your health (not healthy at all)....Yes some people with Herpes don't get out breaks but what if the posters immune system isn't the best? Anyone ever see how horribly the disease can spread in SOME people? Is the poster mentally able to hear the tape recorded message over and over for the rest of his/her life ...."I've got a health issue". Does he want to write I've got herpes when being a new patient at the dentist? or never drinking from the same glass or kissing hello?

Two items couples fight over...Money and Sex
Sex for this couple may turn into...I got my period today no sex...I got a cold sore no licking....I got pussy sores today....

Also the virus "sheds itself"...there doesn't have to be a skin outbreak. Any given sex day is a gamble.

If this isn't a deserted island situation ......why bother having to "predict the future" when you can bury the past.

Post: #24

Post: #25

thanks for the responses guys. I'm gonna try to answer all the questions in detail a little later because I'm a bit busy this weekend.

it is definitely something I'll have to think about. The breakup would be tough on both of us and I'm not sure it's worth it. I consulted with a doctor who basically shrugged it off and said were fine if she's asymptomatic but to wrap it up anyway. the idea of using condoms in a relationship kinda turns me off though.

I appreciate you guys being non-judgmental and giving practical advice.