Post: #1

I've had to come to terms with the brutal fact that i lack discipline. My upbringing was partly the cause. My parents (mom especially) catered for my every need. This made me lazy, a Mommy's boy and with ruthless standard. i don't blame her, she was doing what sge deemed best for me. Now, I want to do what's best for me.

How can I develop a ruthless standard, an insane work ethic and delay gratification?

Post: #2

Enough resources on the web for that but whatever you do start small, take baby steps... And don't beat yourself up if you fall of the horse, falling of the horse is not important, getting back on it asap is important

https://www.artofmanliness.com/2015/07/2...ory-vaden/
https://30daysofdiscipline.com/
https://www.amazon.com/Discipline-Equals...1250156947
etc

Post: #3

(04-23-2018 05:46 AM)Meliorare93 Wrote:  don't beat yourself up if you fall of the horse, falling of the horse is not important, getting back on it asap is important

Second this. DO NOT feel bad and double down when you fall short...if you missed your morning targets don't write off the day, if you took a drink when you should not be drinking don't take a second one because "I've already blown it". There is a way of immediately "forgetting" your foul-ups while not really letting yourself off the hook. You can reset at any moment.

Post: #4

(04-23-2018 05:26 AM)Stonk Wrote:  I've had to come to terms with the brutal fact that i lack discipline. My upbringing was partly the cause. My parents (mom especially) catered for my every need. This made me lazy, a Mommy's boy and with ruthless standard. i don't blame her, she was doing what sge deemed best for me. Now, I want to do what's best for me.

How can I develop a ruthless standard, an insane work ethic and delay gratification?

When will they learn...
Millenials crying about parents raising them so good that it made them fail at life, you pussies should be grateful that you didn't had parents who sold your ass as kids to get their fixes or a prostitute single mom who asked you to wait behind the front door while she was slurping the money for food.

Seriously you should be grateful as fuck when your mom gave you money for lunch or iron your expensive clothes while you were playing ps3.

How could you decently devellop work ethic and delay gratification when you can't even acknowledge that all of this is own & only fault ?

Make a schedule(24h/day = 8h sleep + 8h work + 8h free) 30mn running each day, 15mn méditation, 1h lifting, 1h reading and stick to it for 60days then add more activities that will challenge your lazy ass.
If you fail you start back to day 1, you'll create habits and program yourself to strive through procrastination & lazyness.

Delaying gratification come from knowing that what is after is better that what you can get now, you can talk to 100 girls, fuck 15 and never understand how proper communication work between genders or you can learn from your mistakes and understand what make women sync with high value men and become one, you won't chase pussy ever after that you'll have to run from them...

Post: #5

@Blck

i take full responsibility for my weakness. i merely identified the root cause. Blaming anyone but myself is counterproductive.

Post: #6

Motivation gets you started - habits keep you going.

I think it's been shown in studies that it takes about 65 days in order to develop a new habit, and developing habits is what it's all about.

When you brush your teeth every night, it's not because you're highly motivated to do so, it's just a habit and something you're used to.
When I work out at the gym or do cardio it's usually not because I'm super motivated to do so, but usually because I've developed the habit around it.

So I'd suggest you to make like 60 day plan where you make a commitment to be super disciplined. Can you make it past those 60 days, it's most probably going to make it a lot easier for you.

Post: #7

FocusMe on your phone and computer, to help minimize distractions.

Note: don't block things entirely. Use them as rewards, such as a quick news break at the top of the hour. etc.

RescueTime is another good app / computer add-on that tracks what you spend time on. Look at the reports on a weekly basis to gauge your productivity.

Make sure you're getting your sleep.

Post: #8

What are you trying to achieve exactly? I find that if you don't have a goal that matters to you, then all the caffeine, productivity apps, modafinil and cold showers mean fuck all. Pick a goal that matters to you and charge at it.

I recently decided to pay off my loans and I've paid off two in the span of 2 months. My motivation is high even though I'm working like a horse.

Post: #9

Something I have found helpful recently is the concept of "Single-Handling" from the book Time Management by Brian Tracy.

It's a time management/productivity technique where you work on the most important/impactful task you have and you don't stop, switch tasks or get distracted until it is completed. Every one suffers from a lot of distractions competing for their attention these days and it works well if you are prone to procrastination. At first you will feel the pull of distractions and it takes effort to ignore and overcome them through discipline but you get a kick from completing tasks.

Post: #10

Cut down Internet time and read more. I'm on the forum, Facebook, or Instagram for 5 minutes of my day total spread across various times of day.

Reading builds up your attention span and imagination. The longer your attention span the longer you can focus. Plus it beats Netflix or television in terms of entertainment every time as it's 100x better written(Get it? Ba dum tiss).

Other things:

Take ownership of your faults and failures. I think I only really started progressing when I started to look at only my own actions that were the root causes for my failures(which would include any mishaps due to associating with or trusting people I shouldn't have) and accepting those faults and my failures. For example last time I messed up I simply was like "Shit that happened?", "What did I do wrong?", and "What now?". Then moved forward.

Force yourself to do things regularly you NEED to do. Like lifting for example. Though I'm out now as I had career related crunch time on overdrive. But beginning of March I had been lifting 3 minimum on busy weeks and 5 times normally since October. Well other than the craving to go back that's been gnawing on me it became a priceless form of real time meditation where I was disconnected from the world. Find value on those things you need to do.

Talk to and surround yourself with people in real life that are driven and successful. I stopped humoring people who had nothing going for them. Learning to catch the fire in other people eye's and screening for that amongst those you hang around is paramount. Conversely cut off all losers!

Cheers and back to work for me!

Post: #11

Listen to the Jocko Willink podcast.

Post: #12

The big thing for me is to not think as crazy as it sounds. You know what you need to do just do it. Don't overwhelm yourself by thinking "damn I need to do xyz this week" Just put one foot in front of the other and do it. If you think about 9/10 you will feel overwhelmed and not pursue the task immediately.

Post: #13

As far as books go that talk about developing ruthless focus:

"Breaking out of Homeostatis" by Ludvig Sunstrom. It's a no-frills, uniquely synthesized book about all the things you're asking about, OP.

Post: #14

I found that in years past the email list of Bold and Determinded (https://boldanddetermined.com/), was THE place to get a well timed kick in the ass. Lots of good advice on dicipline there.

I think you need a personal moment of clarity to really get going and that's usually some kind of crisis.

I did find that addictions are some of the worst killers of motivation and self respect. Any addiction, porn, cigarettes, coffee, drugs, alchohol, binge watching sports. They can really take many forms. Any addiction which holds control over your brain will make you weak and self loathing. That would probably be my advice, get rid of just one addiction to begin with. The mind seems to very quickly grow more focused as these addictions are eliminated.

Post: #15

Don't have any zero days.

No matter what, every day do at the very least a little bit of work towards your goal.

You'll find once you get started, you tend to just keep going and "I'll just do a little bit" turns into the rest of the day.