Post: #1

Thoughts gentleman.

All this is brought on by having an injury that means I can't masturbate.

Came out here to Vietnam to teach English.

1. Where I am is a 2nd Tier Vietnamese city 2 hours from Saigon.

It has 1.2 million people but it just seems to be street after street of auto workshops and street food.

There's a small expat scene which is made up of fucked up alcoholics many of whom are 'English teachers' from India, Ecuador, Kazakhstan who can barely speak English. The Americans and Brits amongst them are alcoholic creeps.

I work for probably the biggest and best school here (for whatever thats worth) - its a tough gig, crazy hours at times and poor pay for how much we work, they work on a system of retainers in that in August and September I get the pay for the hours I'm stacking up now.

The school is in the process of sorting out my Vietnamese licence and my work permit and visa, so there's that.

The idea of being here was that I'll save money to pay off loans and have time to fix my injuries which require alot of hours of work on the daily. Cheap to live, no distractions here. I was planning on staying here for two years and getting things sorted physically and financially.

2. I thought I would have the opportunity to get hold of some decent Vietnamese women in the meantime.

Women here seem very traditional, will not have sex with their western boyfriends - only oral after weeks and months (so the Westerners here with local girls tell me),

very few speak English, very few,

and the staff at my school that are young and English speaking have their western boyfriends and carry on like high school cheerleaders, vicious to social outsiders and anyone outside their little western-vietnamese clique.

Trying to learn Vietnamese but fuck me is it a difficult language to learn. The word that means six also means ugly and two or three other things. I thought it was the one word I had nailed. Yesterday I was getting people to help me with this one word and it turned out with all their help I still couldn't get it right.

3. my injuries mean that I can't masturbate without exacerbating my internal injuries and that has put me in crisis.

If I could find a milking machine connected to a fleshlight it might be fine but, in the absence of that..

my sexual desire is going off the charts and I'm struggling to find women that I can even speak with let alone game.

I've gone from planning being here long term to tryna work out where in Vietnam I can meet a range of chicks that speak English and still live cheaper than Tier 1 - Hanoi and HCMC.

tl;dr - I can't wank and like a dog which needs to find somewhere its gonna get a fuck I need to find somewhere in Vietnam I can start prospecting for a half decent range of women.

Any thoughts are welcome.

Post: #2

I'm afraid you're on your own.

I don't think anyone on the forum is going to step in and help you masturbate, man.

You're barking up the wrong tree.

Post: #3

Why can't you work in Saigon?

What exactly is wrong with your dick? See a doctor maybe?

Post: #4

(04-25-2018 11:19 PM)Bienvenuto Wrote:  All this is brought on by having an injury that means I can't masturbate.

Quote:Came out here to Vietnam to teach English.

Where I am is a 2nd Tier Vietnamese city 2 hours from Saigon.

This would be a challenge for anyone, let alone someone who doesn't seem to have done sufficient research.

Quote:It has 1.2 million people but it just seems to be street after street of auto workshops and street food.

Bro this is basically all of second tier Asia, and a good portion of first tier outside the business districts. It's industrial, usually dirty, smoggy and often crappy.

Quote:There's a small expat scene which is made up of fucked up alcoholics

This is in all of second tier SE Asia, and much of first tier.

Quote:I work for probably the biggest and best school here (for whatever thats worth) - its a tough gig, crazy hours at times and poor pay
...
The idea of being here was that I'll save money to pay off loans

Even working at the absolute best teaching gig in second tier VN I cannot imagine the pay is anything close to being sufficient to pay down debt. Hell even in first tier SE Asia the pay would not be high enough to pay down debt for most. Barely covering living expenses is what you can expect. Did you not look into the pay in various SEA countries??

Quote:and have time to fix my injuries which require alot of hours of work on the daily.

It seems like a really bad idea to go to a completely foreign country with an ongoing injury that requires constant therapy or attention.

Quote:2.
Women here seem very traditional

There are literally dozens, possibly hundreds of posts here talking about this. That is how the girls there are, it is widely known.

Quote:very few speak English, very few

There are dozens of posts here talking about the low level of English speaking in Vietnam. It is well documented as on of the locations with low English penetration in SE Asia.

Quote:the staff at my school that are young and English speaking have their western boyfriends and carry on like high school cheerleaders, vicious to social outsiders and anyone outside their little western-vietnamese clique.

This is pretty much all of Asia, and a lot of everywhere else you are a foreigner.

Quote:Trying to learn Vietnamese but fuck me is it a difficult language to learn.

This is the case in all of Asia, or really any foreign country. Its tough, just how it is. You are in not in your country.

Quote:3. my injuries mean that I can't masturbate without exacerbating my internal injuries and that has put me in crisis.

If I could find a milking machine connected to a fleshlight it might be fine but, in the absence of that..

I don't even know what to say.

(04-25-2018 11:19 PM)Bienvenuto Wrote:  [b]where in Vietnam I can meet a range of chicks that speak English

There is pretty much nowhere in Vietnam with "a range a chicks that speak English" (besides hookers and touts). You can find them, but you are not going to find a region or neighborhood where there are abundant English speaking girls. You are in Vietnam. I'm sorry, but that's just how it is. Again, this was easily knowable with basic research.

--------

Respectfully OP, it seems you:

-Completely skipped doing adequate or even basic research on Vietnam prior to choosing it- Number 1 issue

-Not completely aware or haven't accepted that you are in a basically third worldish foreign country. The girls are different, the language is difficult, English not really spoken, cities not always attractive.

-Apparently didn't first take a trip to the place you were moving to

-Either didn't know or didn't ask or research the salary levels you would be getting

-Made a mistake moving, unprepared, to a foreign country, while having ongoing medical issues (which mean you can't masturbate )

Moving to Asia is a challenge even if you have prepared and researched extensively, have money and have good health. From what you have said, you had none of that. Almost everything you are experiencing could have been known before you did this if you bothered to do the research.

I would like to be more sympathetic, but it is difficult when almost all of your issues are 1) Self inflicted and 2) Were avoidable with basic research, planning and foresight. Even spending a few evenings reading the RVF Vietnam threads and doing some internet searches should have been enough to help you get a basic understanding of how the girls are, English levels, pay levels, and the look/feel of your chosen location.

I get the feeling that you wanted and escape and spent very little time really thinking this through.

Second tier Asia is probably one of the worst locations for "getting back on my feet" or "paying down debt". I have no idea where you are from, but if it is a western country you likely would save more money driving uber or being a bartender and living in a rented room than teaching English in second tier VN.

Too many people think SE Asia is the answer to their problems, and very often in reality it is way more complication and struggle. Not for everyone, but for those who don't put adequate thought and preparation into it.

Good luck to you, hope you figure things out.

Post: #5

(04-25-2018 11:19 PM)Bienvenuto Wrote:  ...but it just seems to be street after street of auto workshops and street food.

Welcome to ALL of Vietnam lol! 90% of Saigon included!

Question - do you have a university degree? If you do, you can find well paying (18-24 USD per hour) jobs in Saigon no problem.

If you don't, yes it's difficult but can still be done.

There are enough English speaking girls in Saigon and Hanoi that you can get one who will fuck you while you recover - more than one in fact.

Vietnam is not perfect, but for guys who need to work teaching English and want to live cheap and pay off debts - it's currently the best place possibly in the world. Demand is still high for native speakers.

Your injury is troubling - how fucked up can you be that you can't just gently wack it without damaging your internal organs?? That sounds, as someone else said, not an injury you want to be traveling to 3rd world shitholes with!

But I'm sure you know best.

Plan - fuck the dump you're in - move to District 7 in HCMC - pay $400-500 rent. Eat food you cook at home or cheap street places. Get a job in one of the language centers teaching kids all hours of the week, or work for a university. Get some girls from Tinder, easy, have them come and suck and fuck you like the milking machines you dream of.

Save your money - get better. Tough it out.

Post: #6

My thought: Get out of that hellhole to China asap. 1st tier you'd have to room it up to save anything meaningful, 2nd tier you have to look for good salaries. Even 2nd tier China is real actual cities and not just dust roads with car workshops. Women will put out fast although sex with Chinese girls is meh.

Korea pays well too I heard but I didn't feel the place at all.

Your debts may or may not be negotiated in amount and time frame to pay them back. Being injured with proof in another country might give collectors an incentive to defer debts for some time or lower monthly payments.

No need to live like a dog in 2nd tier 3rd world just because of debts.

Post: #7

(04-26-2018 12:50 AM)churros Wrote:  What exactly is wrong with your dick? See a doctor maybe?

Its the connection between my spine, hip and femoral nerve on one side. My femoral nerve is snagged, related to broken connecting bones in my spine.

It can be fixed over time but masturbation and the use of the specific assisting transversus muscles on one side affects my diaphragm, narrows the openings the nerve travels through, undoes the work done to stretch those internal muscles and causes pain and spasm.

Its weird. Kind of like monkey's headband in "Monkey Magic" for those that are familiar with that reference.

   

Post: #8

The bit about not being able to masturbate without suffering injury to internal organs, but having sex being totally fine sounds like something I would write in an April Fools Day prank thread.

Post: #9

Thankyou Ice Man, Sandstorm and Asia Baller.

Ice Man - I've made my bed, I will have to lie in it. Fair enough. As other posters have mentioned.. the money is here if people can work it and are patient. One of my senior colleagues got a 4.5 thousand dollar bonus on top of his regular salary a couple of months ago. But in general you make a good point.

Sandstorm - yeah I will consider Dist. 7 - I hear its cheap and if I change my Tinder settings to Saigon my phone lights up like a Christmas tree.

Asia Baller - will research China, my friend just moved there.

It helps to know that there are places I can move to without throwing in the towel.

Like I said, thoughts welcome..

Post: #10

(04-26-2018 02:14 AM)Bienvenuto Wrote:  One of my senior colleagues got a 4.5 thousand dollar bonus on top of his regular salary a couple of months ago.

I wouldn't count on any meaningful future bonuses. For all you know they might have told him to dangle that carrot infront of newcomers.

3rd world countries are very cut throat and people are shifty. Bait and switch is a standard business tactic. If they can keep the money and still have enough teachers around they'll do so.

Take any promises of future benefits with a huge grain of salt...

Post: #11

dupe

Post: #12

OP, are you a native English speaker?

Do you have a university degree?

How is your physical appearance?

Post: #13

Native English Speaker.

First Class Honours degree from a British university. (*not that that means very much these days)

Australian Tesol qualification.

6 foot 3, blond hair(slightly greying), blue eyes.

Basically Rutger Hauer's complaining younger brother.

EDIT: also burnt to shit after yesterday's drunken national holiday spent on the beach in Vung Tau.

Post: #14

Can't comment much on the masturbation/injury thing or the teaching business, but I'll say a couple of things.

1. The women in the 2nd tier may look at you slack jawed because you're a foreigner, but that doesn't mean they'll put out quickly. Two different things. Also, consider that they might have heard a lot of shit about foreigners because most of them are fucked up alcoholics in your area, and therefore don't want to do much with them. They might be protecting themselves. Can't say I blame them. It's different in the first tier cities, though, where there are lots of foreigners who actually have their shit together.

2. The vietnamese language is confusing as fuck, I'll grant you that. But don't expect just any local to explain why a word may mean many different things. It's not just how they use the word, but WHERE it falls within a sentence. I mean, think about it. As a native English speaker, can you explain off the top of your head to someone with a kindergarten level of English when and how to use articles like "a", "an", and "the"? I mean, can you? Even I struggle to explain that, though I know how to use them naturally.

So. Get private lessons with a teacher who is fluent in both English and Vietnamese. Pay for it. Unlike an easier language like Spanish, it's not a language you can teach yourself. I guarantee you that it's worth the money and your Vietnamese will improve by leaps and bounds in a much shorter timeframe than you can do on your own. THEN you may be able to actually connect with girls in 2nd tier cities.

Post: #15

(04-26-2018 03:01 AM)Bienvenuto Wrote:  Native English Speaker.

First Class Honours degree from a British university. (*not that that means very much these days)

Australian Tesol qualification.

6 foot 3, blond hair(slightly greying), blue eyes.

Recently, I've been consulting with a couple of schools in Beijing. They cannot find a non-Indian teacher willing to work fulltime for less than $5K USD per month. They are more than willing to pay $4K.

If you don't mind dealing with kids and aren't incompetent in some way, I can guarantee that there are schools in Beijing that would kill to have you. And I hear that offers may be even better in Shenzhen if you've got significant teaching experience.

I'll seriously interview on Skype myself if you're interested, because I have clients that would love to meet someone with your profile.

Post: #16

(04-26-2018 03:35 AM)Suits Wrote:  

(04-26-2018 03:01 AM)Bienvenuto Wrote:  Native English Speaker.

First Class Honours degree from a British university. (*not that that means very much these days)

Australian Tesol qualification.

6 foot 3, blond hair(slightly greying), blue eyes.

Recently, I've been consulting with a couple of schools in Beijing. They cannot find a non-Indian teacher willing to work fulltime for less than $5K USD per month. They are more than willing to pay $4K.

If you don't mind dealing with kids and aren't incompetent in some way, I can guarantee that there are schools in Beijing that would kill to have you. And I hear that offers may be even better in Shenzhen if you've got significant teaching experience.

I'll seriously interview on Skype myself if you're interested, because I have clients that would love to meet someone with your profile.

In the office setting up one of my lessons now.

Thats good to hear. Lets take this to the personal messages and see how it pans out.

Post: #17

(04-26-2018 03:17 AM)CleanSlate Wrote:  Can't comment much on the masturbation/injury thing or the teaching business, but I'll say a couple of things.

1. The women in the 2nd tier may look at you slack jawed because you're a foreigner, but that doesn't mean they'll put out quickly. Two different things. Also, consider that they might have heard a lot of shit about foreigners because most of them are fucked up alcoholics in your area, and therefore don't want to do much with them. They might be protecting themselves. Can't say I blame them. It's different in the first tier cities, though, where there are lots of foreigners who actually have their shit together.

2. The vietnamese language is confusing as fuck, I'll grant you that. But don't expect just any local to explain why a word may mean many different things. It's not just how they use the word, but WHERE it falls within a sentence. I mean, think about it. As a native English speaker, can you explain off the top of your head to someone with a kindergarten level of English when and how to use articles like "a", "an", and "the"? I mean, can you? Even I struggle to explain that, though I know how to use them naturally.

So. Get private lessons with a teacher who is fluent in both English and Vietnamese. Pay for it. Unlike an easier language like Spanish, it's not a language you can teach yourself. I guarantee you that it's worth the money and your Vietnamese will improve by leaps and bounds in a much shorter timeframe than you can do on your own. THEN you may be able to actually connect with girls in 2nd tier cities.

Yeah I got 10 hours of Vietnamese lessons when I moved here. At the time I was learning how to teach ESL in practice and had alot going on - my brain was kinda "one in, one out" so found it hard to retain any of it.
"Six" was the only word I thought that I had nailed, until yesterday.

But point taken. I can't just expect things to happen, I have to make them happen.

Post: #18

I’ve already done probably 100 hours of tiếng Việt practice and I’m on level 2 out of 5 in the language program I’m attending. That said, I still can’t start a conversation with some rando on the street. My brain gets all tied up about which pronouns to use even before forming the sentence I want to say.

But once I get the pronouns out of the way, things start flowing.

And if you still want to stay in Vietnam, don’t try too hard to get the tones right. They’ll understand you anyway. If they don’t, just type on your phone.

But if you’re thinking about China, don’t bother with my advice.

Post: #19

Becoming fluent in a 3rd world language just to get laid in a 3rd world country that has a significant amount of prostitution in first tier cities and otherwise largely frigid provider oriented women is a pretty bad proposition unless you see yourself as a 3rd world lifer adapting the local ways of doing things.

Even in 3rd tier cities in China you could do pretty well women wise (haven't heard any reports for the last 2 years or so) without learning much if any Chinese.

Post: #20

(04-26-2018 02:06 AM)Bienvenuto Wrote:  

(04-26-2018 12:50 AM)churros Wrote:  What exactly is wrong with your dick? See a doctor maybe?

Its the connection between my spine, hip and femoral nerve on one side. My femoral nerve is snagged, related to broken connecting bones in my spine.

It can be fixed over time but masturbation and the use of the specific assisting transversus muscles on one side affects my diaphragm, narrows the openings the nerve travels through, undoes the work done to stretch those internal muscles and causes pain and spasm.

Its weird. Kind of like monkey's headband in "Monkey Magic" for those that are familiar with that reference.

Damn.

Thought for sure you were trolling.

Have you tried using your left hand?

I kid, I kid, I'm sure you've tried, I know I would have tried using my left foot by now.

Hope you get better, OP.

Post: #21

I know this isn't a P4P forum, but personally I'd be paying for some happy endings.

Post: #22

(04-26-2018 05:43 AM)AsiaBaller Wrote:  Becoming fluent in a 3rd world language just to get laid in a 3rd world country that has a significant amount of prostitution in first tier cities and otherwise largely frigid provider oriented women is a pretty bad proposition unless you see yourself as a 3rd world lifer adapting the local ways of doing things.

Even in 3rd tier cities in China you could do pretty well women wise (haven't heard any reports for the last 2 years or so) without learning much if any Chinese.

Nobody is saying you have to learn the language just to get laid. I'm assuming the OP wants more than that because he isn't just "passing through" in Saigon for a week or three.

To live and work in a country like Vietnam, or to find a LTR/wife, or to integrate, I'm a big proponent of learning the local language. It makes life so much easier and more interesting. Maybe it's different in China, but that's certainly my experience in SEA. Not learning the local language is one big reason why many expats wash out after a few years.

Anyway, I'm hijacking the thread. Back to the OP... I'd be interested to see whether he stays in VN or goes to China instead.

Post: #23

No matter where you are you need to do your best to take care of your health. Whatever your ailment is should be your first priority.

Once that is addressed then you can focus on your social and professional issues.

Making decisions when you're ill is like making emotional decisions.

I'm guilty of the above many times in my life so I know it's easier said than done.

Get your health in check and dick operational. Then evaluate your next series of choices or lack there of.

Post: #24

(04-26-2018 10:13 PM)CleanSlate Wrote:  To live and work in a country like Vietnam, or to find a LTR/wife, or to integrate, I'm a big proponent of learning the local language. It makes life so much easier and more interesting. Maybe it's different in China, but that's certainly my experience in SEA. Not learning the local language is one big reason why many expats wash out after a few years.

This is also true in China. A lot of English teachers do not wash out, only because they are too poor to afford to go through the process of leaving and finding a job somewhere else.

Just about everyone else doesn't learn Chinese and leaves after three years.

I learned Chinese and after 6 years in country, am still going strong, albeit, looking forward to a short break next winter.

Post: #25

(04-26-2018 10:13 PM)CleanSlate Wrote:  Nobody is saying you have to learn the language just to get laid. I'm assuming the OP wants more than that because he isn't just "passing through" in Saigon for a week or three.

I don't want to derail the thread but my impression of Vietnam:

Locals give you the fake smile with a dagger behind their back and they hate whitey.

There are virtually never any worthwhile business opportunities for foreigners and the place is largely a corrupt hellhole.

Therefore neither integration nor making a lot of money is possible.

Until recently the latter was possible in China and there are still opportunities, although more limited ones.

Chinese people generally respect westerners and will be super happy if you can chit chat in Chinese, which makes integration somewhat easy although you'll never be considered fully Chinese for obvious reasons.