Post: #1

I'm not a big eating out person and hate wasting money on it but I really like little boutique French or Italian family owned style cafes.
Their prices are reasonable and you're supporting the type of hard working small business owners that make this country great.

Any tips for getting these places on lock down? It's not like a restaurant where you just slide the host,busboy,mater d,and waiter cash because they have tip jars.

My thoughts/limited experiences so let's riff on this:
-give a slightly bigger bill and let them keep the change at the register. 2x your order if it's small like a pastry or coffee slightly less if it's a meal
- if there's a 'bar' area sit there and offer a personal tip to the person working the bar.if they don't accept put it in the jar when they're looking as you leave.
-go in there when it's not busy so you can chop it up with staff and learn about the place and their food. (A little culture never hurt ) Do NOT expect this when it's busy or else it's pointless.
-depending on if it's French or Italian say hello in the owners language and practice your language skills with them if possible. If the owners don't actually speak French or Italian find a new spot.
-dress nice and be well groomed. if you do construction don't show up in your sweaty work clothes.

Homage: http://www.thegmanifesto.com/2005/09/g-m...se-of.html

Post: #2

Yes, the easy answer is to be generous with your conversation, tips, and be consistent. Gain status by being the guy that shows up every day or week at the same time. Order the same thing and the owners/staff will get to know you quick. That makes you dependable, reliable and affords you the power of that particular social circle.

Post: #3

Leave a tip

Post: #4

I have a little Italian cafe on lock. It's one of my favourite places. My granny actually introduced me to it, she's part of the smoker's mafia there. I've become a member of the place in my own right though. My granny is a legend though - an unflappable woman and worldly, a bon vivant with quite an understated talent for art, and a good brain. She's very popular there, and much of my own celebrity there I owe to her. I go for coffee there with her most Saturday mornings, and we take on all comers.

I learned a good deal from her. She is a well spoken woman, who grew up in one of the most exclusive streets in London, in a house that would go for 50 million plus these days (her family saw nothing like that from it when they sold 60 years ago of course). However, she is adored by all the local tradesmen, barrow boys, and reprobates, as well as the former judges, mayors and well-to-do types that also frequent it. The general bonhomie that exists in this cafe between the patrons from these varying social strata is in no small part due to her tremendous influence. The cafe owner has said as much to me on a number of occasions. So much so that he invited her to his wedding recently. It has been an extremely valuable part of my education, to sit with her there for many years now, and talk to whoever came through the door. Developing that facility for striking up interesting conversation with strangers has been one of the most important contributors to my overall happiness, and has enriched my life a enormously.

I tend to bring new girls there for coffee, as it also does the best coffee in my city. The owner is a classic Italian man, so he approves of seeing me with a variety of striking girls, and is always supportive of my efforts to seduce them. I took one there for some of his home cooked Ligurian fare a couple of months ago. It's not a fancy place at all, plastic tables and chairs with the plastic red and white check table cloths - but all the food is imported from little delis he knows from his home town, as well as all the booze. Everything is then made fresh on site. We had prosecco on the house, and limoncello afterwards too. He came and sat with us too for a while and chatted away happily.

I don't tip beyond what's standard, or buy anyone there presents. I am a regular customer and I contribute to the atmosphere that makes others regular customers, and encourages people who visit to recommend the place to their friends. It is known for having the best coffee and the best company, and that intangible value is worth a fortune to the owner.

Post: #5

I have noticed that owner-operated small cafes sometimes flash a look of "I'm a business owner, I don't need tips!" even if they don't intend to.

When I see that vibe, I will casually say "for the boys!" (meaning the younger employees who aren't getting a cut of profits).

Agreed with H1N1 don't try to be a "big tipper" make it reasonable.

Post: #6

I assume you're referring to French or Italian cafes actually in Europe. I find the tipping situation weird there. In the US, tipping is normal, so they have it on the credit card slip, or if you pay cash, you can put a few dollars down from the change, and they will see it, pick it up, and appreciate it. It definitely makes a difference in service, especially if you go to that place frequently enough to see the same staff over time. The fact that tips are a normal part of their compensation means that I don't feel like I'm bribing them to like me. I'm just making sure not to be cheap, and that's usually good enough to become a valued customer.

In Europe, the credit card receipt rarely has a space for a tip. If you try to pay in cash, it's likely to be a few 1 or 2 Euro coins (if you even have any with you). If you leave these on the bar, they're likely not to notice them, so you have to actually get their attention to hand them the tip. If the bar or café is hopping, this may be difficult. It feels awkward to me compared to what I'm used to in the US, like I'm trying to drag the locals into a custom that they're not used to.

I understand why tipping is less common there, but I would think this makes it a little harder to get the place on lockdown. I think in a low tipping area, you have to just focus on being likeable and getting acquainted with the various café staff.

Post: #7

(05-08-2018 11:26 AM)RoastBeefCurtains4Me Wrote:  I assume you're referring to French or Italian cafes actually in Europe. I find the tipping situation weird there. In the US, tipping is normal, so they have it on the credit card slip, or if you pay cash, you can put a few dollars down from the change, and they will see it, pick it up, and appreciate it. It definitely makes a difference in service, especially if you go to that place frequently enough to see the same staff over time. The fact that tips are a normal part of their compensation means that I don't feel like I'm bribing them to like me. I'm just making sure not to be cheap, and that's usually good enough to become a valued customer.

In Europe, the credit card receipt rarely has a space for a tip. If you try to pay in cash, it's likely to be a few 1 or 2 Euro coins (if you even have any with you). If you leave these on the bar, they're likely not to notice them, so you have to actually get their attention to hand them the tip. If the bar or café is hopping, this may be difficult. It feels awkward to me compared to what I'm used to in the US, like I'm trying to drag the locals into a custom that they're not used to.

I understand why tipping is less common there, but I would think this makes it a little harder to get the place on lockdown. I think in a low tipping area, you have to just focus on being likeable and getting acquainted with the various café staff.

Just round up the bill. If the beer costs €3,99, pay with a €5 note and say "It's fine".

Same if your restaurant bill is €56,75. Pay €60 in notes and say that you don't need change.

The only time this gets awkward is if you bill is something like €19,20. An 80 cent tip isn't the most generous and a €5,80 tip would be too much. I would suggest to keep some 2€ coins and €5 notes on you if you go out. Pay by card in "non-tip" situations and keep the cash handy for cafes or small restaurants.

You are absolutely correct that tipping won't make you some sort of star customer. Instead it's more likely to happen by being social and outgoing like you said or like H1N1 described.

Post: #8

Alright I was talking America but the European based info here was awesome.

Less big tipper more personality sums it up well. And I realized not every spot will be right. You'll have to hangout for a while before you know what's up. I'll have to checkout this Mediterranean quisine place / deli next to my house before I commit myself to the little cafe.
Thoughts on med cuisine vs italian caffe? I can upsell both ethnic angles......I'll probably just have to hold my breath at the med place in case the owners are Armenian or Greek.....

I actually used to have the self checkout at Walmart and a gas station "on lock" because I'd come in at the same times and be really respectful to the employees. Never tipped at all but I was pretty close to sliding the self checkout guy at Walmart who prevents theft a 10.
Free Gatorades and gallon jugs of water.....

Post: #9

(05-08-2018 10:46 AM)H1N1 Wrote:  I have a little Italian cafe on lock. It's one of my favourite places. My granny actually introduced me to it, she's part of the smoker's mafia there. I've become a member of the place in my own right though. My granny is a legend though - an unflappable woman and worldly, a bon vivant with quite an understated talent for art, and a good brain. She's very popular there, and much of my own celebrity there I owe to her. I go for coffee there with her most Saturday mornings, and we take on all comers.

I learned a good deal from her. She is a well spoken woman, who grew up in one of the most exclusive streets in London, in a house that would go for 50 million plus these days (her family saw nothing like that from it when they sold 60 years ago of course). However, she is adored by all the local tradesmen, barrow boys, and reprobates, as well as the former judges, mayors and well-to-do types that also frequent it. The general bonhomie that exists in this cafe between the patrons from these varying social strata is in no small part due to her tremendous influence. The cafe owner has said as much to me on a number of occasions. So much so that he invited her to his wedding recently. It has been an extremely valuable part of my education, to sit with her there for many years now, and talk to whoever came through the door. Developing that facility for striking up interesting conversation with strangers has been one of the most important contributors to my overall happiness, and has enriched my life a enormously.

I tend to bring new girls there for coffee, as it also does the best coffee in my city. The owner is a classic Italian man, so he approves of seeing me with a variety of striking girls, and is always supportive of my efforts to seduce them. I took one there for some of his home cooked Ligurian fare a couple of months ago. It's not a fancy place at all, plastic tables and chairs with the plastic red and white check table cloths - but all the food is imported from little delis he knows from his home town, as well as all the booze. Everything is then made fresh on site. We had prosecco on the house, and limoncello afterwards too. He came and sat with us too for a while and chatted away happily.

I don't tip beyond what's standard, or buy anyone there presents. I am a regular customer and I contribute to the atmosphere that makes others regular customers, and encourages people who visit to recommend the place to their friends. It is known for having the best coffee and the best company, and that intangible value is worth a fortune to the owner.

Beautiful post.

Post: #10

"Lock down" seems like a particularly McQueenian phrase, which works for him, but not for everybody.

For a lot of people, this is just called 'being a regular."

When I have been a regular at places, I always talked to the staff, asked them questions about themselves and didn't talk about myself, remembered what they told me and asked about it next time I came in.

I have had friends (bartenders) in local bars who had many many complaints about some of the other regulars, and from what I could observe, the main thing you don't want to do is to get overly comfortable and start thinking you own the place, a particular table, etc..

You don't want to take advantage of your status as customer, and I have seen 'regulars' starting to get overly cheap with the tips, feeling like they are almost part of the staff, and that they have somehow attained a seniority that allows them to demand tables, special service, and whatever they can think of.

I once worked at a place where some dude who I am sure thought of himself as a habitue, or a boulevardier, would walk uninvited back into the kitchen, tasting soups and basically bothering everyone.

So, just be a good dude, remember what the boundaries are, talk to the staff, but don't get too comfortable, remember they are busy, and chatting their ears off when they need to run back to the kitchen makes you a burden and not a cherished customer.

A lot of it has to do with being reasonable, enjoyable to be around, sensitive to other people, not overdoing anything, remembering your obligations and not just your rights.

Having worked as a waiter, I can tell you it was very very seldom that I ran into a patron who had any consciousness whatsoever of what I was dealing with or what would help me, and I was always happy to see these people show up.

Never act like you own a table, just because you use it often. Ask for it, but don't demand it.

Don't talk someone's ear off when you know the restaurant is packed and they are running their asses off. They may be smiling at you, but they are dying inside, thinking of all the shit they have to do, but can't because they are being polite to you.

Never score points with your date at the expense of an employee.

This stuff is just common sense, which isn't always so common, particularly if you live in a culture that claims the customer is always right.

The customer isn't always right.

This started off as a motivational poster hidden away in the kitchen to inspire the staff.

The customers should never have gotten a hold of it.