Post: #1

How do you maintain a strong level of confidence everyday when you've had a rough day or rejection? I've recently been noticing on days I dress up and style my hair I feel very confident throughout the day and I feel it in my interactions, however if I'm late or tired and just put on a basic shirt, I don't feel as confident even though I don't look like a bum..also on those days I tend to notice rejections more, or they kinda affect me more than on days I feel confident. Appreciate any advice

Post: #2

Get rejected as soon as possible in the day and keep going. You will eventually start laughing about these rejections. A big part of your frame will be how you interpret things. You should remember the psychological principle "All results are just feedback."

Post: #3

The best advice I read about rejections was that nothing changes if you get them, you are still the same person, but if you succeed then you changed for the better. Its easy when you think of it but hard to put to practice on a bad day. Any tips on how to brush off rejections or atleast pulling yourself back to confidence?

Post: #4

Start doing martial arts if not BJJ.

I am completely serious

Post: #5

Short term; exercise, do affirmations and visualizations, spend time with great and successful individuals and take some vitamin D/sleep well.
If you do well during your day, you carry it further into your interactions.

Long term; stop basing your confidence off interactions with women. Devote your life to something greater and include women into it.
We feel as confident and as good to the extent we feel in control of our lives.

Identify where this is missing and take control.

Post: #6

You should have way more important things to worry about in your life than girls. You know the best game advice? Have something better to do than meeting girls.

Seriously. Get a life or find something that you can be good at and work hard towards that. Then you will be in such strong state in mind that it will not matter at all what you wear at the time when chat a girl up. Guaranteed

Post: #7

Women and water are not in short supply. When you understand that they are just things. You will lose the desire to put them on a pedestal and be able to handle a lot of them.

Post: #8

(05-10-2018 11:44 PM)Siddartha Wrote:  Start doing martial arts if not BJJ.

I am completely serious

Good to know I'm not the only one who's addicted.

BJJ changed my life...and one effect would be your response to his problem.

Post: #9

(05-11-2018 03:12 AM)Noir Wrote:  Short term; exercise, do affirmations and visualizations, spend time with great and successful individuals and take some vitamin D/sleep well.
If you do well during your day, you carry it further into your interactions.

Long term; stop basing your confidence off interactions with women. Devote your life to something greater and include women into it.
We feel as confident and as good to the extent we feel in control of our lives.

Identify where this is missing and take control.

I like this answer.

I have a slightly different view, but similar. The long-term thing is the "real you" = your career, your self-defense confidence, your working out, your talents. Women are naturally attracted to guys with power, not desperate guys who seek women. This is the "base you". It's always a good idea to keep improving your base.

The short-term thing is your inner game = all these PUA tricks, teases, stacking, vibing all of these will give you the tools to grab the attention perhaps all the way till the bang. But sooner or later you will revert back to your base, and women can sense your true worth.

If the "real you" the base you is great. You'll have it easier in life for anything in general. Including women.

Post: #10

"I've recently been noticing on days I dress up and style my hair I feel very confident throughout the day and I feel it in my interactions, however if I'm late or tired and just put on a basic shirt, I don't feel as confident even though I don't look like a bum"

Use some self-CBT to note and reinforce the behaviors you associate with feeling/being confident (dress, sleep, gym, morning routine, reading, talking with friends, whatever). A lot of us know what we need to do to be ballers but slack on it for whatever reason. Make it a priority to do those things, motivated by the fact that feeling confident feels awesome.

Post: #11

(05-10-2018 09:59 PM)MOEJP Wrote:  How do you maintain a strong level of confidence everyday when you've had a rough day or rejection? I've recently been noticing on days I dress up and style my hair I feel very confident throughout the day and I feel it in my interactions, however if I'm late or tired and just put on a basic shirt, I don't feel as confident even though I don't look like a bum..also on those days I tend to notice rejections more, or they kinda affect me more than on days I feel confident. Appreciate any advice

What will be most helpful is to develop an internal locus of control. It takes time. This usually is done by achievements across a variety of domains - satisfying and successful job (it doesn't have to mean money only), taking up some competitive sports, self-development (language learning, honing new skills or hobbies, becoming well-read, educated, etc.), becoming a virtuous man acting honorifically and with integrity, etc. Generally, the more accomplishments, the higher self-perception.

Ultimately, you'll become an oak, a rock, a diamond - you'll know your true worth - and a girl's rejection will be her loss.

Post: #12

Exercise, play a sport, hike mountains, take cold showers, and just be in the sun. Try to not think too much about girls. I know it is far more difficult than writing here, but once you do it, you can make it a habit.

Good luck.

Post: #13

Stop giving a shit what other people think. That girl you approach, she doesn't know you and doesn't mean anything yet. The people around her, don't know you and don't care if she rejects you, or wants to blow you (shout out to Jamie). Only you matter in pretty much every situation. Once you get a serious "fuck 'em" attitude life will get so much easier.

Just remember at all times, YOU matter. Unless you let them, no one else really does, it's your choice.

Post: #14

Pick a lucrative craft and get really good at it.

Stay in optimal health while you're doing this.

Once you're good at the craft you chose, make sure you run a solid surplus every month, then you can make investments that get you to where you don't have to work, and that gives you the freedom to call the shots in your life, to have control over your environment.

You can then engage in lifestyle design and the kind of stuff that's causing difficulties for you right now won't do so anymore.

Also, make sure to take care of your mom and dad while you're doing all of this. If they're well off, things as simple as dropping in more often will do. If they aren't, taking them on a vacation or buying them a super comfortable foam mattress or a car of their favorite make/model, for example, is great. Either way, these things make a positive difference in your life and theirs.

Post: #15

First off, congrats for acknowledging the importance of your state of mind in success. It really gets overlooked a lot and in my humble opinion, success with either business, women (sex or relationships) come from a strong, positive state of mind.

In my opinion, the challenge you have are 2 specific ones.

1) Your confidence is dependent on external factors. Yes, it's okay to put on a pimp outfit but I've also approached girls in pajamas and slippers. Was I successful with them? No, but it wasn't about them (external) it was about ME being who I am in whatever context.

2) Being tired. Now if you're tired, there's nothing you can do about it. If you're tired from work or school, it is what it is but JUST BE AWARE that you're not on point and NOT to take any sign of negative emotion to heart. You're just tired bro, it doesn't mean you're not good enough. With that being said, maybe you need to audit your lifestyle and isolate the reasons for this. In my case, I can remember two very specific periods in my life where I became fatter, fell off and became negative and driving in traffic was always part of the equation. If I were to even attempt to meet women or even do any kind of business during this period, would not be as effective as when I was walking, getting enough sleep, drinking spinach smoothie, etc.

Are you getting enough sleep? This is a HUGE ONE. Just try sleeping one hour earlier and fuck TV or whatever nighttime ritual you currently have to get that extra hour of sleep. Also try taking a hot shower at night as it helps you got to sleep faster. If you're able to, maybe take a quick 20 min nap in the middle of the day in your car. Drink water and coconut juice instead of coke or coffee.

Anyways, hope this helps.

PS Just remembered, in my situation, what I did to remedy the situation was to download positive videos on Youtube to Youtube redapp to be able to listen to them in car. Changed entire context of car trip. But the sleep and also MEDITATION was huge. Forgot to mention that. Check out meditation and this shit called Qi Gong. It's a way to draw energy from the universe from within.

Later

(05-10-2018 09:59 PM)MOEJP Wrote:  How do you maintain a strong level of confidence everyday when you've had a rough day or rejection? I've recently been noticing on days I dress up and style my hair I feel very confident throughout the day and I feel it in my interactions, however if I'm late or tired and just put on a basic shirt, I don't feel as confident even though I don't look like a bum..also on those days I tend to notice rejections more, or they kinda affect me more than on days I feel confident. Appreciate any advice