Post: #1

I know this is a stupid beta question and I probably shouldn't even be asking it but I'm not in the right state of mind at the moment. I just received some news from this girl who I developed oneitis for. I should have seen the symptoms but I was caught up in the moment because I was so close to seeing her.

A little background: After my fiasco last winter in vietnam where I met a girl but we both went cold and then I caught her dating some other guy, I was kind of devastated so I went online to look for some new potential plates. You can read about it from my journal. About 1-2 months later, I met another girl. At first we didn't really connect much because of the language barrier (she speaks Vietnamese and hardly any english and me vice versa) however, both of our language skills improved to the point where we could regularly talk although sometimes I need to translate a few english words for her. We both started to talk more and more online and at the time and I guess that's when I started to get feelings for her and vice versa. She kept on asking me when I was going to come to vietnam and she said she waiting for me at the airport. I was originally going to go visit her in January or February but I got laid off at the beginning of october which was a huge setback for my plans. I went on EI so I couldn't work for 5 months but during this time I was working on passive sources of income (a book) and I'm on the verge of launching a youtube channel that I intend to monetize to avoid these stupid long distance relationship hiccups in the future. I just needed a little more time!

Due to this and continued problems with employment (I got another job as soon as my ei ended but the company had a production slowdown during my 5th week there so I didn't get called in, I found another job immediately within 2 weeks (my current temp job) , I didn't have the funds yet to spend 5 months in vietnam with her. So I had to delay it and all this time, she kept on asking me when was I coming? when was I coming? She even started to refer to herself as my gf and tried to get me to commit. I didn't want to commit yet because we hadn't even met in person only video chatted a lot of times. I had wanted to go out with her for at least a few weeks before.

About a month ago, I noticed her behaviour changed (usually a sign of a guy in the picture) and she become more distant. One day out of the blue she asked me "If I went and got married with another man, what would you do?"

Like any normal rational human being I told her "What could I do? You already gave your heart to another man. I said I would leave her. There's nothing I could have done." Looking back at this, this might have been a shittest that I failed. I instead should have answered something like this "I'll put on my superman costume and come down and rescue you and we will go fly off into the moon." or something like that. I was really tired that day from my job (auto assembly line) so I wasn't my usual witty self. She told me "Don't you want to hold me tight in your arms?" I don't remember what I said but I don't think I could really do anything if she really did get married with another man. She got sad about my answer. But at the conclusion of our conversation I thought I had rebounded because she seemed more upbeat.

Anyways, I noticed now she was even more distant. I suspect at that time her parents or someone must have tried to force an arranged marriage on her or something. At the time though, I thought it meant there was just another guy not that she was going to get married. I was stupid. I should have read between the lines (lesson learned. Make sure to address there concerns immediately and fix it!)

She pretty much stopped messaging me but then I noticed on her facebook she would write posts about marriage or something. I got suspicious and kind of worried now. I was thinking "holy shit, she really is going to get married soon!" so I messaged her at the beginning of this week and that's when she dropped the ball on me "My parents want me to get married to a vietnamese man soon." My jaw dropped! I should have seen that coming. I got angry so I started to question her asking her if this was what she meant before when she wrote me those messages. I told her if she wanted to get married with this man and if she loved him? She told me her parents want her to and she didn't love him. I asked her how long has she known this man for. She said "one month." I was thinking she either was a fucking liar or out of her fucking mind. Only 1 month and already this beta chump has already proposed they get married. She said he lives near her home. She's from the countryside. She said her parents worry about her.

I asked her if it was the guy from a video she sent me recently of her baby sisters birthday. She confirmed it. I suspected it was him because this motherfucker stole my superhero nickname and inside joke between us from last year. He changed his username on fb. I told her it doesn't really matter anymore

me: it's up to fate now. If you really love me, you will wait for me, if you don't then you will go get married. It's no longer my choice, the decision is yours.

I said goodbye to her and she said "Your letting me go?" with a sad crying face. but then she said she is still waiting for me and then I will have our decision. I told her she could call me when I come to vietnam and pick me up then and she said ok and then wrote her something to reference a past topic between us. After I said goodbye, a few hours later, she sent me a pic of the words I wrote her inscribed on sand. The way it ended really bothered me the way things ended and I had a lot of questions that I still wanted answered so I couldn't fight the urge and I messaged her 2 days ago asking her to be honest with me.

I went beta and asked her how come when this guy asked her for marriage why didn't she tell him she already had a bf from canada? She said "your my bf?"

I told her we already talked about it before (We had brought this up but she didn't believe me and wanted me to do it officially in vn when I arrived.)

She said "You didn't admit that."
I told her "you said your were my gf.
I asked her when does her parents want her to get married. She said 2 months from now. I told her if she wants to marry him then to let me know because I don't want to waste my time on her and ask her if she has already agreed to marry him.

She said she didn't agree to marry him yet. She said her parents are worried about her that she can't get married in vn because of her age (she's only 26 but I guess they are under a lot of pressure to get married."

I asked her didn't you tell your parents about me. They said they know me but they don't like me because they don't think I am serious and because I live far away. She said she wants more time to think about it and then brings up the fact that she waited a long time for me. She was angry at me for making her wait for so long and I tried to address her concerns but she said her parents don't want her to put her hopes on me. I told her what happened with my job and showed her pics of my arms all banged up from my current shitty job and she started to feel sad and guilty and hurt. I told her I did all of this so that I could spend more time in vn with her. She told me I should just get my butt over there and it's ok if I leave soon. I didn't want to yet because I'm working on my saving enough money to work on my youtube channel in vn so I could stay there or travel anywhere else long term and kill any long-distance relationships for good!

I proposed that she wait for me until july and I would buy the ticket at the end of this month. She told me she would think about it and then give me an answer tomorrow.

Today I got the bad news during my last break at work. She said she's going to get married with him. I told her I was going to come in 3 weeks actually but she said sorry. We both said our goodbyes and I told her this was going to be the last time we talk. She gave me a crying face. I was really fucked up at work and just waited to quit right there on the spot and say "fuck this job."

So that leads me to right now as I write this. This was probably the most fucked up thing in terms of relationship to happen in my life short of being cheated on. The fucking pain won't go away. The agonizing pain just won't stop!

I'm not really sure what to do at this point. I should have kept a few backup options that I really dug (I know stupid) but I did have one of my backups message me right before this happened and I asked if she was going to show me around in case this didn't work out between me and this girl who I really dug. I developed serious oneitis for her. I'm kind of pissed off at her for agreeing to marry this guy. I looked at his fb and he's a fucking beta male. He constantly writes on her wall and likes her posts (nearly every single one) but she ignores his comments. He looks scrawny, short, and fucking ugly and to add insult to injury, he copied my fucking nickname between me and the girl. I'm taller, better looking, more confident, and since I'm from a western country, I'm pretty sure my value would have run circles around this dude. I know my insecurities are really showing up now.

I feel a mix of emotions right now from angry, depression, sadness, and pain. I was really going to quit this fucking job in 5 weeks or less and go and see her but she didn't keep her fucking word! I know it's my fault for making her wait this long, but it was out of my control with the work. I tried my best to make it happen.
I feel a lot of angry towards her right now for not keeping her word. I'm not sure if she was fucking lying or not about her parents forcing her to marry this guy but she could have said no and waited for me for just a few more weeks. Right now I feel like messaging her again asking her "you told me you were going to wait for me first before you decide but now you changed your mind." but I don't know if its the right thing to do. When I got home, I immediately unfollowed her. I'm thinking about even unfriending her but I'm worried it may make me look weak and buttheart. I'm not sure what to do at this point. I'm stuck in no man's land (toronto) and literally weeks away from dating paradise (vietnam). I'm not if I should keep her as a friend and then show her pics of me with girls in vietnam or just unfriend her even if it makes me look weak or if I should go fight for her like she wanted me to before and act all beta. That seemed to have worked for that guy who wanted her to marry him. Maybe in vn being more confident and alpha doesn't work but one needs to be more beta(not texting her every day or even multiple times in a day or liking all of her fb posts). I don't know. I'm not sure if she was being completely honest about her parents forcing her to marry this guy and she wanted me to fight for her or it was all just bullshit but it seems its now over. I know in a few weeks I can literally meet hundreds of girls in vn especially now that I can communicate with them in vietnamese (at least somewhat at an upper elementary, lower intermediate level.) but I am that uneasy feeling within me telling me, this girl wants me to fight for her. I know in a few weeks she will see pics of me in vietnam unless she unfriends me. so potentially I can use that as leverage or should I just say fuck it!


I'm also contemplating writing something on my word along the lines of "they say actions speak louder then words, now I know why. Making promises are easy,
but keeping them is another story..."

Sorry guys, I am seriously fucked in the head right now!

I need some advice.

Post: #2

Jesus christ bro, I'm gonna go in raw on you right, I'm doing it for your own good.

KNOCK THIS BITCH OFF THE PEDESTAL IMMEDIATELY.

You are completely off your rocker on this one dude, you're emotionally unstable, ALL BECAUSE OF SOME GIRL.

You have oneits for some random chick, this is madness.


A girl, correct me if I'm wrong, whom you've never met.

(if you did it sounds like a very short physical interaction)


You're poisoning yourself, you're emotionally unhinged, you need focus inward.


Of course this chick found some new dick - YOU'RE NOT PHYSICALLY THERE.

Most chicks ain't gonna wait around for some dude they barely interacted with, throw in parentals pressuring her to get married as well.


Here's my advice: Scorched earth policy.

You need to wipe all memories of her from your phone, social media, physical things, etc.

DO NOT CONTACT - use the thread we have here to use it.

Don't you ever quit a job because of some bitch, quit a job because it's shitty and you have a better one lined up.


This chick is wreaking havoc on your emotions and you need to cut your losses and move on.


If it were up to me, I'd still go to Vietnam and fuck all the women I could.



It seems you're looking for an LTR in all the wrong places, as if it's mandatory for you to live.

Let me be clear, a woman isn't mandatory or needed in your life, she should COMPLEMENT your life.


As my Nigga 2pac would say:

Post: #3

(05-11-2018 03:22 PM)destiny Wrote:  Like any normal rational human being I told her "What could I do? You already gave your heart to another man. I said I would leave her. There's nothing I could have done." Looking back at this, this might have been a shittest that I failed. I instead should have answered something like this "I'll put on my superman costume and come down and rescue you and we will go fly off into the moon." or something like that.

"Just because you're married doesn't mean you can't have a boyfriend."

...and then seconding everything kaotic just said. Holy shit. Stop with this bitch.

Post: #4

The never having met factor is what stands out the most to me on this one. You simply have no clue what she's really like. You've built her up in your mind as some perfect angel because you have shielded yourself from having to witness her flaws.

You don't know if she's a terrible kisser. You don't know if she gives terrible BJs. She could be a terrible lay.

There's so much you can't know about her because you never have been around her to learn of her obnoxious quirks and idiosyncrasies. This is why you have her up on the pedestal.

You're better off, so just take kaotic's advice. Don't do this 'internet girlfriend' bullshit and expect it to work out. It's middle school shit.

Post: #5

Oneitis for a girl you havent even met?



She has you out of your mind over losing pussy you aint even had?


God level girl game recognized



Seriously...some you mofos could take away a game level up from this chick if you paid attention and understood the dynamics in OP's post

Edit: Notice what OP failed to take away from his previous 'fiasco' ?

Post: #6

And this is why you read the 2nd post before the 1st on threads with sketch titles like this one:

(05-11-2018 03:35 PM)kaotic Wrote:  Jesus christ bro, I'm gonna go in raw on you right, I'm doing it for your own good.

KNOCK THIS BITCH OFF THE PEDESTAL IMMEDIATELY.

Thanks for TL;DR'ing that entire wall of text for me. Also;

(05-11-2018 03:22 PM)destiny Wrote:  I need some advice.

That right there above is great advice

Post: #7

Do NOT, and I repeat, do NOT have ANY girls on your FB, unless they are your family members. I'd say that, don't give girls that dopamine rush they are craving and do NOT add them on any social media whatsoever. Maybe add them on insta but only do so when you are sure you have higher SMV and have a more "lit" life than they do.

So I recommend that you not only unfriend her, but look for any girls in your FB list that are not family members, and remove them all. Exception for girls who is a genuine friend that you don't feel sexually attracted to, if you have such a female friend.

Post: #8

(05-11-2018 03:35 PM)kaotic Wrote:  Jesus christ bro, I'm gonna go in raw on you right, I'm doing it for your own good.

KNOCK THIS BITCH OFF THE PEDESTAL IMMEDIATELY.

You are completely off your rocker on this one dude, you're emotionally unstable, ALL BECAUSE OF SOME GIRL.

You have oneits for some random chick, this is madness.


A girl, correct me if I'm wrong, whom you've never met.

(if you did it sounds like a very short physical interaction)


You're poisoning yourself, you're emotionally unhinged, you need focus inward.


Of course this chick found some new dick - YOU'RE NOT PHYSICALLY THERE.

Most chicks ain't gonna wait around for some dude they barely interacted with, throw in parentals pressuring her to get married as well.


Here's my advice: Scorched earth policy.

You need to wipe all memories of her from your phone, social media, physical things, etc.

DO NOT CONTACT - use the thread we have here to use it.

Don't you ever quit a job because of some bitch, quit a job because it's shitty and you have a better one lined up.


This chick is wreaking havoc on your emotions and you need to cut your losses and move on.


If it were up to me, I'd still go to Vietnam and fuck all the women I could.



It seems you're looking for an LTR in all the wrong places, as if it's mandatory for you to live.

Let me be clear, a woman isn't mandatory or needed in your life, she should COMPLEMENT your life.


As my Nigga 2pac would say:

Thx for the advice. Your right about the vietnam thing. I'm still gonna go there in 5 weeks time and fuck some bitches which will help kill off the oneitis and neediness coming up here. not because of her, but because I want to meet and date girls and also because I need the footage for my youtube channel and business. The lack of dating options here in Toronto has really fueled my thirst for women. If only I was in vn, I would be hollaring at 5 girls right now and be out on dates and this girl probably wouldn't even be on my mind.

Post: #9

(05-11-2018 05:09 PM)Aquarius Wrote:  Do NOT, and I repeat, do NOT have ANY girls on your FB, unless they are your family members. I'd say that, don't give girls that dopamine rush they are craving and do NOT add them on any social media whatsoever. Maybe add them on insta but only do so when you are sure you have higher SMV and have a more "lit" life than they do.

So I recommend that you not only unfriend her, but look for any girls in your FB list that are not family members, and remove them all. Exception for girls who is a genuine friend that you don't feel sexually attracted to, if you have such a female friend.

I mainly use my facebook to pipeline girls from abroad before a trip to meet up and build some rapport. Girls in asia are glued to their fb 24/7.

Post: #10

(05-11-2018 04:29 PM)Rhyme or Reason Wrote:  The never having met factor is what stands out the most to me on this one. You simply have no clue what she's really like. You've built her up in your mind as some perfect angel because you have shielded yourself from having to witness her flaws.

You don't know if she's a terrible kisser. You don't know if she gives terrible BJs. She could be a terrible lay.

There's so much you can't know about her because you never have been around her to learn of her obnoxious quirks and idiosyncrasies. This is why you have her up on the pedestal.

You're better off, so just take kaotic's advice. Don't do this 'internet girlfriend' bullshit and expect it to work out. It's middle school shit.

Your right, I let my neediness and thirst get the better of me because I pretty much crossed off toronto for a dating option. I'm in the process of trying to come with a means to relocate to better my dating prospects.

I hate how I allowed myself to put her up on a pedestal, I'm sure she has a ton of flaws as well that I overlooked. I guess it's for the better as I still have a long's way to go to bettering myself in the dating department and getting locked down right now ain't going to do me any favours in terms of growing and improving. I'll probably make more mistakes down the line and it would cost me even more.

Post: #11

(05-11-2018 07:31 PM)destiny Wrote:  I hate how I allowed myself to put her up on a pedestal, I'm sure she has a ton of flaws as well that I overlooked. I guess it's for the better as I still have a long's way to go to bettering myself in the dating department and getting locked down right now ain't going to do me any favours in terms of growing and improving. I'll probably make more mistakes down the line and it would cost me even more.

Youre going to be alright...I can tell

Post: #12

(05-11-2018 03:22 PM)destiny Wrote:  I feel a lot of angry towards her right now for not keeping her word.

Been there...three times. Congrats, you got your first real taste of the red pill. The more experience you get with women, the less you'll have expectations of them keeping their word...at least early on in interactions.

If anything, you're fortunate you're finding this out now - instead of having your marriage blow up and end in divorce because she couldn't keep her word when it comes to "until death do us apart".

Quote:I'm not sure if she was fucking lying or not about her parents forcing her to marry this guy but she could have said no and waited for me for just a few more weeks. Right now I feel like messaging her again asking her "you told me you were going to wait for me first before you decide but now you changed your mind." but I don't know if its the right thing to do. When I got home, I immediately unfollowed her. I'm thinking about even unfriending her but I'm worried it may make me look weak and buttheart. I'm not sure what to do at this point. I'm stuck in no man's land (toronto) and literally weeks away from dating paradise (vietnam). I'm not if I should keep her as a friend and then show her pics of me with girls in vietnam or just unfriend her even if it makes me look weak or if I should go fight for her like she wanted me to before and act all beta. That seemed to have worked for that guy who wanted her to marry him. Maybe in vn being more confident and alpha doesn't work but one needs to be more beta(not texting her every day or even multiple times in a day or liking all of her fb posts). I don't know. I'm not sure if she was being completely honest about her parents forcing her to marry this guy and she wanted me to fight for her or it was all just bullshit but it seems its now over. I know in a few weeks I can literally meet hundreds of girls in vn especially now that I can communicate with them in vietnamese (at least somewhat at an upper elementary, lower intermediate level.) but I am that uneasy feeling within me telling me, this girl wants me to fight for her. I know in a few weeks she will see pics of me in vietnam unless she unfriends me. so potentially I can use that as leverage or should I just say fuck it!

The bolded part - yeah that uneasy feeling within you is your blue pill mindset that women actually want guys who never give up to the point of getting stalkerish/creepy. Also, it's a whole lot more fun when it's the other way around and the girls are fighting for you.

Who the fuck cares what she thinks. This is about you. If unfriending her will help you move on, then do it. Fuck what she thinks.

I have a hard rule about this type of stuff - unfriend on FB and never look back.

Done it three times. Never regretted it. Two of the girls were connected to my social circles. I don't care, they're as good as dead to me. Because the reality is that if you don't unfriend her, the next time you're feeling lonely, you'll be going through her Facebook, and those oneitis feelings will come back up. And in a moment of weakness (or drunkenness), you'll do something really stupid.

I have a close guy friend - he broke up with his girlfriend 5 years ago after she cheated on him with his best friend. They're still "friends" on FB. And every now and then, he messages her, hoping she's doing well, etc etc.

Her on the other hand has never responded back to him. The guy is literally torturing himself for a woman who gives zero fucks for him. I don't think he's entirely over her yet - he congratulated her when she got engaged to his former best friend.

And in that situation, all I could think was: dude, just unfriend them. Fuck what they think (clearly since they didn't give a fuck about you when they fucked each other). And move on.

Don't forget: any decision you make now should be about your well-being, not what she might think about it.

Quote:I'm also contemplating writing something on my word along the lines of "they say actions speak louder then words, now I know why. Making promises are easy,
but keeping them is another story..."

Don't be emo in public. I hate to say it, but I've done that and nobody gives a fuck. Whether it's writing to her or to friends, just don't. If you want to go all emo, write it on RVF or something. If you have extremely great friends, vent to them. But never to a woman, and never publically on FB or to people you're not super fucking close to.

Red pill lesson #2 - men aren't allowed to be weak, it's repulsive behavior. Don't cry in front of a woman, don't make passive aggressive statements, don't ever show that this bothered you.

(PS for women, it's promiscuity that is repulsive. They get to be weak, we get to be promiscuous. Not the other way around).

Post: #13

(05-11-2018 08:09 PM)Genghis Khan Wrote:  

(05-11-2018 03:22 PM)destiny Wrote:  I feel a lot of angry towards her right now for not keeping her word.

Been there...three times. Congrats, you got your first real taste of the red pill. The more experience you get with women, the less you'll have expectations of them keeping their word...at least early on in interactions.

If anything, you're fortunate you're finding this out now - instead of having your marriage blow up and end in divorce because she couldn't keep her word when it comes to "until death do us apart".

Quote:I'm not sure if she was fucking lying or not about her parents forcing her to marry this guy but she could have said no and waited for me for just a few more weeks. Right now I feel like messaging her again asking her "you told me you were going to wait for me first before you decide but now you changed your mind." but I don't know if its the right thing to do. When I got home, I immediately unfollowed her. I'm thinking about even unfriending her but I'm worried it may make me look weak and buttheart. I'm not sure what to do at this point. I'm stuck in no man's land (toronto) and literally weeks away from dating paradise (vietnam). I'm not if I should keep her as a friend and then show her pics of me with girls in vietnam or just unfriend her even if it makes me look weak or if I should go fight for her like she wanted me to before and act all beta. That seemed to have worked for that guy who wanted her to marry him. Maybe in vn being more confident and alpha doesn't work but one needs to be more beta(not texting her every day or even multiple times in a day or liking all of her fb posts). I don't know. I'm not sure if she was being completely honest about her parents forcing her to marry this guy and she wanted me to fight for her or it was all just bullshit but it seems its now over. I know in a few weeks I can literally meet hundreds of girls in vn especially now that I can communicate with them in vietnamese (at least somewhat at an upper elementary, lower intermediate level.) but I am that uneasy feeling within me telling me, this girl wants me to fight for her. I know in a few weeks she will see pics of me in vietnam unless she unfriends me. so potentially I can use that as leverage or should I just say fuck it!

The bolded part - yeah that uneasy feeling within you is your blue pill mindset that women actually want guys who never give up to the point of getting stalkerish/creepy. Also, it's a whole lot more fun when it's the other way around and the girls are fighting for you.

Who the fuck cares what she thinks. This is about you. If unfriending her will help you move on, then do it. Fuck what she thinks.

I have a hard rule about this type of stuff - unfriend on FB and never look back.

Done it three times. Never regretted it. Two of the girls were connected to my social circles. I don't care, they're as good as dead to me. Because the reality is that if you don't unfriend her, the next time you're feeling lonely, you'll be going through her Facebook, and those oneitis feelings will come back up. And in a moment of weakness (or drunkenness), you'll do something really stupid.

I have a close guy friend - he broke up with his girlfriend 5 years ago after she cheated on him with his best friend. They're still "friends" on FB. And every now and then, he messages her, hoping she's doing well, etc etc.

Her on the other hand has never responded back to him. The guy is literally torturing himself for a woman who gives zero fucks for him. I don't think he's entirely over her yet - he congratulated her when she got engaged to his former best friend.

And in that situation, all I could think was: dude, just unfriend them. Fuck what they think (clearly since they didn't give a fuck about you when they fucked each other). And move on.

Don't forget: any decision you make now should be about your well-being, not what she might think about it.

Quote:I'm also contemplating writing something on my word along the lines of "they say actions speak louder then words, now I know why. Making promises are easy,
but keeping them is another story..."

Don't be emo in public. I hate to say it, but I've done that and nobody gives a fuck. Whether it's writing to her or to friends, just don't. If you want to go all emo, write it on RVF or something. If you have extremely great friends, vent to them. But never to a woman, and never publically on FB or to people you're not super fucking close to.

Red pill lesson #2 - men aren't allowed to be weak, it's repulsive behavior. Don't cry in front of a woman, don't make passive aggressive statements, don't ever show that this bothered you.

(PS for women, it's promiscuity that is repulsive. They get to be weak, we get to be promiscuous. Not the other way around).

I getcha man, I actually unfriended and blocked calls from a previous oneitis before on facebook and on my phone. I found out she was stringing me along with a fellow classmate and was grinding with 2 other classmates of mine. I was completely disgusted and when she tried that shit with me on the dance floor, I just tossed her ass to the side. Funny enough, there was another dude beside me so he took advantage of the situation and she thought she was grinding with me and then when she turned around, she realized it was another guy. The look at her face was priceless and she quickly rejected the guy and walked away in shame lol. She tried to reach out to me several times after I blew her off including once phoning me like 6 times in a row. I later discovered she had blocked me on facebook several months later. I figure its a way for her to cope with getting rejected and to think she got the last word in lol. last I heard of her she was now in her 30's and her confirmed partner count was 9 dudes. I'm glad I didn't end up with that hoe.

There was another girl who I hooked up with in vn, I caught her seeing other guys while I wasn't there so we ended up going no contact for both of us although I never unfriended her though. It doesn't really bother though nor has it for the past 6+ months since I met this new girl. I guess once I land in vn and meet the millions of girls there, this chick will quickly disintegrate in my brain.

I actually talked with my father about all of this stuff earlier today and he managed to knock some senses into me. He told me I was an naive idiot, and to don't take her words at face value. He was saying that she is a grown ass woman and could make her own choices even if her parents tried to force her and rebel like me and my two sisters. I'm quite rebellious and argue a lot with my parents and still do what I want. He was like look at you and your two sisters, do you guys listen to me when I tell you to do something? If she is really interested in you, she will wait for you. He told me don't be bitch and look bitter by blocking her. He said if she has any feelings for you, her ass will come crawling back in 4 days lol. But he later also said if you feel like you really want to move on, then you can unfriend her and cut all ties with her. He said it was up to me.

Anyways at this point, I think the only thing that could really help me is looking for some new prospects. I'm already in the process of trying to secure a date with a backup girl which has helped a lot with the emotions. I know in 5 weeks time when I land in vn, I'll be surrounded by millions of cute feminine vn girls who I can now daygame because I can actually communicate with them. They are literally scattered throughout the whole city. Last time I went to vn, I had several chicks down right staring at me smiling but I couldn't communicate with them. This time it'll be different.

About your advice about being emo. I completely agree. I had it written up on my notepad and was really considering putting it on my facebook wall I'm glad I didn't. It might have turned off my other prospects. It's difficult to make rational decisions when your brain is full of those chemicals and the only things you feel are a mixture of pain, anxiety, fear, and regret all grouped into one powerful potent drug. This is absolutely the worse feeling I have gotten. It has resurfaced a few times already and but each time it becomes less painful somehow. I hopefully I'll forget about this whole ideal in 1-2 days.

Post: #14

(05-11-2018 09:14 PM)destiny Wrote:  

(05-11-2018 08:09 PM)Genghis Khan Wrote:  

(05-11-2018 03:22 PM)destiny Wrote:  I feel a lot of angry towards her right now for not keeping her word.

Been there...three times. Congrats, you got your first real taste of the red pill. The more experience you get with women, the less you'll have expectations of them keeping their word...at least early on in interactions.

If anything, you're fortunate you're finding this out now - instead of having your marriage blow up and end in divorce because she couldn't keep her word when it comes to "until death do us apart".

Quote:I'm not sure if she was fucking lying or not about her parents forcing her to marry this guy but she could have said no and waited for me for just a few more weeks. Right now I feel like messaging her again asking her "you told me you were going to wait for me first before you decide but now you changed your mind." but I don't know if its the right thing to do. When I got home, I immediately unfollowed her. I'm thinking about even unfriending her but I'm worried it may make me look weak and buttheart. I'm not sure what to do at this point. I'm stuck in no man's land (toronto) and literally weeks away from dating paradise (vietnam). I'm not if I should keep her as a friend and then show her pics of me with girls in vietnam or just unfriend her even if it makes me look weak or if I should go fight for her like she wanted me to before and act all beta. That seemed to have worked for that guy who wanted her to marry him. Maybe in vn being more confident and alpha doesn't work but one needs to be more beta(not texting her every day or even multiple times in a day or liking all of her fb posts). I don't know. I'm not sure if she was being completely honest about her parents forcing her to marry this guy and she wanted me to fight for her or it was all just bullshit but it seems its now over. I know in a few weeks I can literally meet hundreds of girls in vn especially now that I can communicate with them in vietnamese (at least somewhat at an upper elementary, lower intermediate level.) but I am that uneasy feeling within me telling me, this girl wants me to fight for her. I know in a few weeks she will see pics of me in vietnam unless she unfriends me. so potentially I can use that as leverage or should I just say fuck it!

The bolded part - yeah that uneasy feeling within you is your blue pill mindset that women actually want guys who never give up to the point of getting stalkerish/creepy. Also, it's a whole lot more fun when it's the other way around and the girls are fighting for you.

Who the fuck cares what she thinks. This is about you. If unfriending her will help you move on, then do it. Fuck what she thinks.

I have a hard rule about this type of stuff - unfriend on FB and never look back.

Done it three times. Never regretted it. Two of the girls were connected to my social circles. I don't care, they're as good as dead to me. Because the reality is that if you don't unfriend her, the next time you're feeling lonely, you'll be going through her Facebook, and those oneitis feelings will come back up. And in a moment of weakness (or drunkenness), you'll do something really stupid.

I have a close guy friend - he broke up with his girlfriend 5 years ago after she cheated on him with his best friend. They're still "friends" on FB. And every now and then, he messages her, hoping she's doing well, etc etc.

Her on the other hand has never responded back to him. The guy is literally torturing himself for a woman who gives zero fucks for him. I don't think he's entirely over her yet - he congratulated her when she got engaged to his former best friend.

And in that situation, all I could think was: dude, just unfriend them. Fuck what they think (clearly since they didn't give a fuck about you when they fucked each other). And move on.

Don't forget: any decision you make now should be about your well-being, not what she might think about it.

Quote:I'm also contemplating writing something on my word along the lines of "they say actions speak louder then words, now I know why. Making promises are easy,
but keeping them is another story..."

Don't be emo in public. I hate to say it, but I've done that and nobody gives a fuck. Whether it's writing to her or to friends, just don't. If you want to go all emo, write it on RVF or something. If you have extremely great friends, vent to them. But never to a woman, and never publically on FB or to people you're not super fucking close to.

Red pill lesson #2 - men aren't allowed to be weak, it's repulsive behavior. Don't cry in front of a woman, don't make passive aggressive statements, don't ever show that this bothered you.

(PS for women, it's promiscuity that is repulsive. They get to be weak, we get to be promiscuous. Not the other way around).

I getcha man, I actually unfriended and blocked calls from a previous oneitis before on facebook and on my phone. I found out she was stringing me along with a fellow classmate and was grinding with 2 other classmates of mine. I was completely disgusted and when she tried that shit with me on the dance floor, I just tossed her ass to the side. Funny enough, there was another dude beside me so he took advantage of the situation and she thought she was grinding with me and then when she turned around, she realized it was another guy. The look at her face was priceless and she quickly rejected the guy and walked away in shame lol. She tried to reach out to me several times after I blew her off including once phoning me like 6 times in a row. I later discovered she had blocked me on facebook several months later. I figure its a way for her to cope with getting rejected and to think she got the last word in lol. last I heard of her she was now in her 30's and her confirmed partner count was 9 dudes. I'm glad I didn't end up with that hoe.

There was another girl who I hooked up with in vn, I caught her seeing other guys while I wasn't there so we ended up going no contact for both of us although I never unfriended her though. It doesn't really bother though nor has it for the past 6+ months since I met this new girl. I guess once I land in vn and meet the millions of girls there, this chick will quickly disintegrate in my brain.

I actually talked with my father about all of this stuff earlier today and he managed to knock some senses into me. He told me I was an naive idiot, and to don't take her words at face value. He was saying that she is a grown ass woman and could make her own choices even if her parents tried to force her and rebel like me and my two sisters. I'm quite rebellious and argue a lot with my parents and still do what I want. He was like look at you and your two sisters, do you guys listen to me when I tell you to do something? If she is really interested in you, she will wait for you. He told me don't be bitch and look bitter by blocking her. He said if she has any feelings for you, her ass will come crawling back in 4 days lol. But he later also said if you feel like you really want to move on, then you can unfriend her and cut all ties with her. He said it was up to me.

Anyways at this point, I think the only thing that could really help me is looking for some new prospects. I'm already in the process of trying to secure a date with a backup girl which has helped a lot with the emotions. I know in 5 weeks time when I land in vn, I'll be surrounded by millions of cute feminine vn girls who I can now daygame because I can actually communicate with them. They are literally scattered throughout the whole city. Last time I went to vn, I had several chicks down right staring at me smiling but I couldn't communicate with them. This time it'll be different.

About your advice about being emo. I completely agree. I had it written up on my notepad and was really considering putting it on my facebook wall I'm glad I didn't. It might have turned off my other prospects. It's difficult to make rational decisions when your brain is full of those chemicals and the only things you feel are a mixture of pain, anxiety, fear, and regret all grouped into one powerful potent drug. This is absolutely the worse feeling I have gotten. It has resurfaced a few times already and but each time it becomes less painful somehow. I hopefully I'll forget about this whole ideal in 1-2 days.

Some sage advice from Kaotic and others, good to see you're taking your dose of red pill like a man.

I add this: You always have a choice, and that's incredibly powerful once you accept it and internalize it. You chose to invest your emotions and energy into a girl who you'd never met, and had an "internet relationship." Now that it's done, there's no reason for you to feel sad, angry, depressed, or frustrated with this girl. You choose to feel those emotions, it's your chosen reaction to her not giving you what you want (her pussy, a relationship with her). You choose how you feel! A girl only ever has as much control/power over you as what you give her!

This is the beauty of a real relationship, each side gives to the other, so when you breakup it hurts (because you both chose to invest, which is a good thing in a healthy relationship). But in your situation, you can completely change how you think and feel about it. I would focus on the great, free lesson you learned from this girl, and imagine how helpful this will be for you in future interactions. You learned not to invest too much upfront with a girl who hasn't earned it. You learned that being needy and clingy negatively affects your frame and peace of mind.

How will you use this ^ going forward? You are going to be more confident, more outcome independent, and much slower to dole out your emotions and energy to a girl that hasn't earned it. Girls will pick up on this, and you will be a much more attractive man. It was a lesson you had to learn to get better!
Good luck op, you're on the right track.

Post: #15

When are you guys going to wake up.

Post: #16

Also, OP, not to pick on you but this line...

Quote:I instead should have answered something like this "I'll put on my superman costume and come down and rescue you and we will go fly off into the moon."

Is god awful cringe. In that case I think you picked the better option by not saying that.

Post: #17

Easy...

Post: #18

(05-11-2018 03:22 PM)destiny Wrote:  what the hell is this nonense?

Sorry bro, im going to go in on you too, you need it.

First ill give you some actionable advice:

1)stop masturbating

2)stop watching porn

3)get in the fucking gym and LIFT

LIFT = LIFTING some fucking weights!

4) read rooshs books Bang and Day Bang

5) if you are overweight, consider water fasting, if you are under weight... eat more. For both, you need to Continue lifting

6) check out the Greyskull Variant Beginner lifting program, if you cant do squats due to mobility issues, use the box squat machine, leg press, and or leg curl for legs, then get the book "Becoming a Supple leopard by Kelly Starett"

7) look in the life section of the forum for tips on how to make money and financial independence. Make financial independence your long term goal.

8)practice game. First an hour a week, for a few months, then an hour every other day for a few months, then an hour a day.

9)think of a funnel with holes in it at certain point. The funnel is filled from approaching women, the holes are the women that will disppear, your job is to

a)patch those holes as much as possible (by doing what the fuck I just said above. . .especially lifting)

b)keep that funnel full of women passing through.

10)keep reading the game sections of the forums, stop posting for a while and read. read rooshs book over and over till you get it. do all the above.

11)this will take 1-2 years, shows us your progress in two years. You will become a sex God if you do it right.

12)This is the last time I wanna see you post shit like this, you need to be RUTHLESS, but that only happens once you experience abundance. You need to get Abundance, but that only happens if you work for it, hell Im still working on that stage myself! I often double triple book dates on weekends, if one chick doesn't want to bang on a date after an hour and a half, well I got another date on the way after I boot her the fuck out of my house.

13)Men. Be a MAN, connect with that MAN you are. You are one of us, we arent nice, we LEAD, CONTROL, and DOMINATE. Start doing this. . . today.

14) oh if I havent said this before. . LIFT WEIGHTS GOD DAMNIT!

15)come back to us two years, and show us the GOD you have become, you can definitely do this


I did not read all that Bitch shit you wrote, you gotta do better than this man, it makes me hurt inside when I see a perfectly grown man writing books on some `crush` So much time wasted!

Post: #19

It seems this is more of a Toronto thing. A lot of men living lives in quiet desperation.

Post: #20

(05-12-2018 05:17 PM)CJ_W Wrote:  

(05-11-2018 03:22 PM)destiny Wrote:  what the hell is this nonense?

Sorry bro, im going to go in on you too, you need it.

First ill give you some actionable advice:

1)stop masturbating

2)stop watching porn

3)get in the fucking gym and LIFT

LIFT = LIFTING some fucking weights!

4) read rooshs books Bang and Day Bang

5) if you are overweight, consider water fasting, if you are under weight... eat more. For both, you need to Continue lifting

6) check out the Greyskull Variant Beginner lifting program, if you cant do squats due to mobility issues, use the box squat machine, leg press, and or leg curl for legs, then get the book "Becoming a Supple leopard by Kelly Starett"

7) look in the life section of the forum for tips on how to make money and financial independence. Make financial independence your long term goal.

8)practice game. First an hour a week, for a few months, then an hour every other day for a few months, then an hour a day.

9)think of a funnel with holes in it at certain point. The funnel is filled from approaching women, the holes are the women that will disppear, your job is to

a)patch those holes as much as possible (by doing what the fuck I just said above. . .especially lifting)

b)keep that funnel full of women passing through.

10)keep reading the game sections of the forums, stop posting for a while and read. read rooshs book over and over till you get it. do all the above.

11)this will take 1-2 years, shows us your progress in two years. You will become a sex God if you do it right.

12)This is the last time I wanna see you post shit like this, you need to be RUTHLESS, but that only happens once you experience abundance. You need to get Abundance, but that only happens if you work for it, hell Im still working on that stage myself! I often double triple book dates on weekends, if one chick doesn't want to bang on a date after an hour and a half, well I got another date on the way after I boot her the fuck out of my house.

13)Men. Be a MAN, connect with that MAN you are. You are one of us, we arent nice, we LEAD, CONTROL, and DOMINATE. Start doing this. . . today.

14) oh if I havent said this before. . LIFT WEIGHTS GOD DAMNIT!

15)come back to us two years, and show us the GOD you have become, you can definitely do this


I did not read all that Bitch shit you wrote, you gotta do better than this man, it makes me hurt inside when I see a perfectly grown man writing books on some `crush` So much time wasted!

Trust me, there's no abundance in Toronto and being an east asian guy, your seen with disgust. There's a reason why there's one of the largest pua scenes here in toronto. Just head downtown around the eaton center and you will be at least a dozen dudes doing cold approaches. I did that shit here for over a 1 year 4 years ago, I saw very minimum results, however it gave me tremendous results as soon as I went abroad and left this shithole city. That's the only positive thing I could say about doing daygame here.

Also all of those things you listed, I have done that for years now, I have been lifting weights for well over a decade now. daygame? I did close to a 1000 approaches here in Toronto. It got me no where but the skill became invaluable abroad. If I was in poland or another country like vietnam, I could literally go outside and approach 20-30 chicks and I would walk away with at least 5 numbers and several dates. I did just that in my travel journal which I documented. Do that same stuff here in Toronto, forget it!

Dating books and manuals? I must have read something between 1-2 dozen seduction books. I've read all of the roosh country bang guides.

I did online/nightgame all that shit. You name it, I most likely have done it here in this city. I even signed up for close to a dozen clubs and went to nearly every social event organized by my program while I was attending university. Online I would get practically no matches except for 200 lb landwhales divorced tattooed up single mothers. In fact, I still think I have a pic of that women.

Fashion and all of that stuff I pretty much covered. I spend several grand on new clothes and still update my wardrobe and people have complemented me about how fashionable I look and even try to copy my style.

I live in the suburbs and no way in hell am I gonna pay nearly 2 grand just for a 1 bedroom apartment so I could be downtown and even then the logistics are horrible. Everything is scattered across the city and targets are not abundant at all. If you think going to a heavily populated area to game girls, well goodluck because it's been overrun by pua guys who have probably hit on that girl 3-4 times already. The bitch shields are real!

I don't want to seem like I'm whining or complaining but believe me I have definitely done my fair share of work in this shithole city. The sex ratios are skewed in women's favour and the attitude and flakeyiness is horrible. I had to tell some troll looking hong kong women in her late 30's to get lost after she tried to grab frame and have me go drive to her neck of the woods to watch a movie after she flaked on me the first time.

Most of my friends are either unmarried and single or married to 30+ year old fatties. Your only bet here would probably be the fobs and new immigrants. I even tried to niche out and targeted girls at meetup.com, internations, etc. The last straw was church targeting chinese girls in the markham area and went a few times to look for potential targets. The churches in my area in my niche target had no girls my age except seniors and familes. It's not even worth the time and effort anymore. I've given up on this fucking city for good.

Making money and finances? I'm currently pursuing this option so that I could get the fuck outta this city. I've read well over a dozen business books (rich dad, poor dad, I will teach you to be rich, the millionaire next door, FU money, the millionaire fastlane, etc. That's why I've been focusing mainly on this for the last year or so. I've been biding my time saving up cash but it gets loney here. All this online chicks from abroad I was pipelining before my trip. However, I didn't expect to develop oneitis for one of them. I have written a non-fiction book which is about 95% complete and in the process of launching a youtube channel so that I could monetize it along with a whole slew of other online income generating ideas. My goal is to have multiple streams of online income and not to rely on one. The sum total would be equal or greater then the average salary here.

I've put in close to 9 months of learning Vietnamese now and still continue to study it to prepare for my permanent departure from this cesspool of a city.

The odds are tremendously stacked against you here, despite your best efforts. Believe me I put in more then my fair share of effort, just go have a look at my travel journal. I approached something like 100 or more chicks in a span of two months and had close to 2 dozen numbers and went on several dates there. It would take me a years to get anywhere near those results here. There comes a point where you ask yourself whether or not the lemon is worth the squeeze (ROI) for your efforts here and the answer is no. However, it has helped molded me into a much better man then before, the only problem is a lack of dating experience due to a scarcity of women and opportunity. The only last saving grace I could see is making this online income source a reality.

Post: #21

Ok I finally did, I unfriended her and will never look back. I found out she married that guy on the weekend and lied to me about it. She told me 2 months she will get married. I was scooping on her sister's profile earlier today and found out. The photos have seen been removed from her sister's profile. She still didn't even put her wedding photos nor her relationship status changed. She was trying to hide it from me. Anyways sayonara. I don't get involved with married woman. This was the last straw. Now hopefully I can pick myself back up and do it again but better for the next girl.

Post: #22

Destiny, I started following your journey since your travel blog with all the sympathy and goodwill for a fellow man who was in a very similar situation like I used to be.

However, I'm calling you out as delusional and extremely needy. I didn't want to write this post because I have nothing nice to say to you now, seeing how you haven't changed much after a year. I'll do it anyway after a forum member was concerned about you and asked me to help (I love the camaraderie of RVF)

You KEEP saying that Canada is shit etc. and you had much better success elsewhere. You know I read your travel journey (took a lot of time and frustration to read that) and the only success I remember from these thousands of pages is you getting a girl in FSU out on date without a second date. You didn't even get a makeout in FSU if memory serves. The rest is you complaining about FSU not being as easy as it "should" be.

Then you come to Vietnam, and instead of slaying it as you should over there, you complain about how your parents and cousins cockblock you. You basically fell in love/had severe oneitis with another crafty/lying Viet girl and was fixated on her the entire time and long after leaving the country, instead of going out and meeting several women like you should.

Now you went back to Vietnam, and the same exact shit happened all over again. You met a girl who promised you the sky who turns out to also be a crafty liar (why the hell am I not surprised? Do people really believe there exist a paradise where women are feminine and passionate just because?) Then you go full retard full stalker on her despite everyone telling you to wake the fuck up.

Am I hallucinating or you did actually write that you hope to make something out of a girl who's about to get married? What level of neediness and delusion you need to reach to even contemplate this? Where the fuck is your dignity?

You are not fooling me. I just came back to Vietnam late April to visit my family, I know how it is there. If you indeed dress well and especially since you speak English you should have no problem bagging girls at all. I spent half of my time there helping my childhood friend, a 27 y o virgin, and even him after 2 weeks he was slaying. Your lack of success can be solely attributed to your desperation and obsessive character.

You clearly dont listen to, or haven't tried to follow the advice of everyone who took the time and goodness of their heart to read your long-ass threads since 2016-2017 to help you. At this point I dont know what else any of us can do for you.

Godspeed

(05-12-2018 09:57 PM)destiny Wrote:  Trust me, there's no abundance in Toronto and being an east asian guy, your seen with disgust. There's a reason why there's one of the largest pua scenes here in toronto. Just head downtown around the eaton center and you will be at least a dozen dudes doing cold approaches. I did that shit here for over a 1 year 4 years ago, I saw very minimum results, however it gave me tremendous results as soon as I went abroad and left this shithole city. That's the only positive thing I could say about doing daygame here.

Also all of those things you listed, I have done that for years now, I have been lifting weights for well over a decade now. daygame? I did close to a 1000 approaches here in Toronto. It got me no where but the skill became invaluable abroad. If I was in poland or another country like vietnam, I could literally go outside and approach 20-30 chicks and I would walk away with at least 5 numbers and several dates. I did just that in my travel journal which I documented. Do that same stuff here in Toronto, forget it!

Dating books and manuals? I must have read something between 1-2 dozen seduction books. I've read all of the roosh country bang guides.

I did online/nightgame all that shit. You name it, I most likely have done it here in this city. I even signed up for close to a dozen clubs and went to nearly every social event organized by my program while I was attending university. Online I would get practically no matches except for 200 lb landwhales divorced tattooed up single mothers. In fact, I still think I have a pic of that women.

Fashion and all of that stuff I pretty much covered. I spend several grand on new clothes and still update my wardrobe and people have complemented me about how fashionable I look and even try to copy my style.

Post: #23

(05-16-2018 08:42 AM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  Destiny, I started following your journey since your travel blog with all the sympathy and goodwill for a fellow man who was in a very similar situation like I used to be.

However, I'm calling you out as delusional and extremely needy. I didn't want to write this post because I have nothing nice to say to you now, seeing how you haven't changed much after a year. I'll do it anyway after a forum member was concerned about you and asked me to help (I love the camaraderie of RVF)

You KEEP saying that Canada is shit etc. and you had much better success elsewhere. You know I read your travel journey (took a lot of time and frustration to read that) and the only success I remember from these thousands of pages is you getting a girl in FSU out on date without a second date. You didn't even get a makeout in FSU if memory serves. The rest is you complaining about FSU not being as easy as it "should" be.

Then you come to Vietnam, and instead of slaying it as you should over there, you complain about how your parents and cousins cockblock you. You basically fell in love/had severe oneitis with another crafty/lying Viet girl and was fixated on her the entire time and long after leaving the country, instead of going out and meeting several women like you should.

Now you went back to Vietnam, and the same exact shit happened all over again. You met a girl who promised you the sky who turns out to also be a crafty liar (why the hell am I not surprised? Do people really believe there exist a paradise where women are feminine and passionate just because?) Then you go full retard full stalker on her despite everyone telling you to wake the fuck up.

Am I hallucinating or you did actually write that you hope to make something out of a girl who's about to get married? What level of neediness and delusion you need to reach to even contemplate this? Where the fuck is your dignity?

You are not fooling me. I just came back to Vietnam late April to visit my family, I know how it is there. If you indeed dress well and especially since you speak English you should have no problem bagging girls at all. I spent half of my time there helping my childhood friend, a 27 y o virgin, and even him after 2 weeks he was slaying. Your lack of success can be solely attributed to your desperation and obsessive character.

You clearly dont listen to, or haven't tried to follow the advice of everyone who took the time and goodness of their heart to read your long-ass threads since 2016-2017 to help you. At this point I dont know what else any of us can do for you.

Godspeed

(05-12-2018 09:57 PM)destiny Wrote:  Trust me, there's no abundance in Toronto and being an east asian guy, your seen with disgust. There's a reason why there's one of the largest pua scenes here in toronto. Just head downtown around the eaton center and you will be at least a dozen dudes doing cold approaches. I did that shit here for over a 1 year 4 years ago, I saw very minimum results, however it gave me tremendous results as soon as I went abroad and left this shithole city. That's the only positive thing I could say about doing daygame here.

Also all of those things you listed, I have done that for years now, I have been lifting weights for well over a decade now. daygame? I did close to a 1000 approaches here in Toronto. It got me no where but the skill became invaluable abroad. If I was in poland or another country like vietnam, I could literally go outside and approach 20-30 chicks and I would walk away with at least 5 numbers and several dates. I did just that in my travel journal which I documented. Do that same stuff here in Toronto, forget it!

Dating books and manuals? I must have read something between 1-2 dozen seduction books. I've read all of the roosh country bang guides.

I did online/nightgame all that shit. You name it, I most likely have done it here in this city. I even signed up for close to a dozen clubs and went to nearly every social event organized by my program while I was attending university. Online I would get practically no matches except for 200 lb landwhales divorced tattooed up single mothers. In fact, I still think I have a pic of that women.

Fashion and all of that stuff I pretty much covered. I spend several grand on new clothes and still update my wardrobe and people have complemented me about how fashionable I look and even try to copy my style.

Your right, I stopped following game protocol and didn't listen to the advice of forum members even when it was warranted. I was just too deep and attached to the girl emotionally to see clearly. Its difficult to abandon something you've invested a lot of time and energy into, only to see it go away and taken from you forever. This was why I let my neediness and desperation creep out of me. Living here in Toronto and having sworn off the local women, just has made created a very real scarcity mindset within my mind. On the plus side, now I realize that there is still a lot of work that I need to do on myself internally. I had thought that I had improved in some of these areas but this experience with this girl, shows me that no, they are still there and needs to be addressed. I guess my mind is extremely stubborn and just used to habit and doesn't want to change. I will need to seriously put some thought and effort into figuring out how to fix these self-esteem issues that I have. Before I can master others, I first need to learn to master myself. Maybe this next upcoming trip away from home for an extended period will provide me with some much needed answers to fix this.

As for Vietnam for the second time, actually I haven't come back yet. This girl I met online and was going to meet her when I arrived and her family. I had put too much hope on her which lead to a severe cause of oneitis. And your right about that girl from vietnam that I wrote about last year. I developed a case of oneitis for her as well because she was my first. I lost my virginity to her so I guess that led to an unhealthy attachment to her which I am glad to report is no longer the case with her. I had never been in that situation before so I didn't want to lose that and was fighting hard to hold onto it, but sometimes somethings never belong to you no matter how hard you try to hold onto it. I'm not how I feel towards relationships now or women in general after this past bad experiences. On the one hand, I still hope that there are nice girls out there that would make great wife material but on the other hand, my experience with women hasn't been the greatest. I guess what I'm trying to say is that through these experiences with women, it has made me come to view women more of as a human being with flaws rather then the perfect person for me.

Post: #24

Destiny, you saw the light, I'm glad you did, I'm also glad a few other guys called out your actions.

It needed to be done brother.

NEVER stop following game protocol, game isn't for girls, game is for everything in your life.

You talk about investments, sometimes an investor has to CUT HIS LOSSES in order to save money.

In your case you have to cut your losses, to save yourself, and your emotions.

Yes, you have a lot of work to do, but it's very doable.

Women aren't perfect, you aren't perfect, and the world insn't perfect.


You can have positive apprehension....as long you have the knowledge and the understand of what women are capable of.

You sound like your desperately trying to find the love of your life and a wife.

You're going about it all wrong.


You should be working on yourself so women you want are attracted to you in droves.

You should be working on your inner game first, because it radiates into your daily life, and women can tell from a mile away.



Self Love>Self Improvement> Financial/Game Improvement>Maximizing Physical Attractiveness> External Word

Post: #25

(05-16-2018 04:17 PM)kaotic Wrote:  Destiny, you saw the light, I'm glad you did, I'm also glad a few other guys called out your actions.

It needed to be done brother.

NEVER stop following game protocol, game isn't for girls, game is for everything in your life.

You talk about investments, sometimes an investor has to CUT HIS LOSSES in order to save money.

In your case you have to cut your losses, to save yourself, and your emotions.

Yes, you have a lot of work to do, but it's very doable.

Women aren't perfect, you aren't perfect, and the world insn't perfect.


You can have positive apprehension....as long you have the knowledge and the understand of what women are capable of.

You sound like your desperately trying to find the love of your life and a wife.

You're going about it all wrong.


You should be working on yourself so women you want are attracted to you in droves.

You should be working on your inner game first, because it radiates into your daily life, and women can tell from a mile away.



Self Love>Self Improvement> Financial/Game Improvement>Maximizing Physical Attractiveness> External Word

Ya the problem I think is that I think women will make me happy just because I never really had a gf my whole life. It's tough seeing others being relationships and you being left behind. I've never had the opportunity to experience that so when I met this girl, I guess my mind was fixated on her filling that hole inside of me that is empty.

I realize women are not always the answer to my problems. I look at my father and he looks miserable with my mother. She's always causing problems and they are always arguing and she is always telling him to do this or that. I didn't want to be in that type of relationship which made me hesitant to commit fully to this girl yet until I had met her and we had known each other for a while but then I felt cornered into making a decision. I felt if I didn't do something I would lose her forever, lose my only opportunity to have female companionship. All this time I was focused on women being my main goal but instead I should have had the attitude that I am my main goal and that she is just joining me for the ride because she likes what she sees.

I come from a very dysfunctional Asian family. Both of my younger sisters no longer talk to my parents and I hardly ever do as well because of the lack of emotional support we received when we were raised and even right now. Everything involves manipulation, and guilt trips to get what they want, never a praise, or anything from them. Me and my sisters don't actually even talk because when we do, we argue. Sometimes I wish my family was normal and I came from a loving family so that I wouldn't have all of these inner demons and self-esteem issues inside of me but you can't pick your parents and your just dealt the hand that your given. This has probably been the hardest thing to conquer. I am really struggling with the self-love department because all my life people have been criticizing me, telling me I'm never good enough, whether that be my parents, close friends, or even women. This has made me a bit obsessive about fixing these problems. In the last 4 years I have become obsessive about self-improvement. I just throw myself out there trying to fix it throwing wild punches in any direction hoping to hit a weakness. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but that's all I know to do.