Post: #1

Hi everyone,

I'm graduating from university this year, along with my group of friends at university. It will be a nice way to commemorate our times over the years together studying, long night sessions at libraries and dealing with exams etc.

Despite how expensive it will cost (around $300+ for the cost of it and hiring the gown) I was willing to participate.
However after I finish my final exams in June, I'll be on my way to North America with my return flight scheduled to come back the weekend right before graduation.

I kinda of regret now buying the return ticket because I'm uncertain to whether I will definitely return for it. Especially if I am having an amazing time overseas (I plan to fly out to Europe/South America as well).

My close group of friends (outside of university) majority have said not to, and just go and travel as it is more enjoyable and that ceremonies are just a boring day of waiting, taking photos and a gimmick. My uni mates however are adamant on attending (they are academic achievers, and quite blue pilled), as it is a milestone and celebrating an achievement and I agree that we should commemorate together but I am still unsure.

So to all those who have graduated from university, please tell me your experiences and whether or not you think it is worth going to, factoring in having to come back for it from being overseas.

Without a doubt I would attend if I were in the country but since I have majority of my family in North America if I head back I will miss events such as Halloween, Hannukah and Christmas.

Post: #2

I graduated in January and was already on a different continent by May, so I didn't attend mine.

Four years later, I am 5% regretful about not attending and am 95% glad I didn't waste my time.

Post: #3

Didn't go to mine. Who wants to dress like a wizard and sit in the sun for 4+ hours to hear the names called of people you've never met?

Post: #4

Think about how we "give" meaning in modern society. One of those things that gives meaning is a ritual or coming of age rite, so to speak. There really aren't that many of those at all. Weddings, funerals, graduation ceremonies, masonic stuff, religion, etc. Anyway, if you're proud of what you did in college, go.

I didn't want to go to mine, but when I saw my parents, sibling, aunts, uncles, and close friends, all there for me (despite the fact that at the time I didn't feel like graduating college was an achievement), I knew it was the right choice.

Post: #5

It's a complete waste of time if you only have to think about yourself. I skipped mine, because I knew it would be boring and pointless. My dad was extremely relieved, but my mum was much more upset to have missed out on it than she let on at the time. It wasn't until a sibling's graduation (that my dad skipped too) that I realised how much it meant to my mum to see her little boy graduate. If I were put in the position again I would go for her sake, and accept the boredom and frustration as the price to be paid for doing something nice for her.

My advice would be that if you have family you are close to who it would mean something to to go, then you should bite the bullet and do it for them. If not, I would give it a miss as there are better things to do with a summer day - unless you have a last shot at some particular cutie you've been eyeing for the past three years. If you do have to go, there's some comedy to be found in watching bright young women in their mortar boards and gowns, clutching their scrolls, heads up and tits out moving herd-like across the stage, living the last moments of the lie in a heady euphoria before they rub up against the interminable reality of their 'career' in social media engagement. They're insufferable on this day of all days, of course; at the peak of their powers having triumphed against the incalculable odds created by a system that only wishes to see them fail.

Post: #6

If it's important to the family, then I advise to attend. You might report it as a manly thing you have done that day.

What are your options? I skipped high school graduation and 3 college graduations, one for each degree. If I missed anything, I don't know what it was. They mailed my diplomas to me.

On those sweet days in June, I was either trout fishing or having a carnal afternoon delight. I recall the pleasure of being free while others had to suffer the assembly and endure the speeches. If you are graduating from Yale this year, you will be subjected to a speech by the odious Hillary. Egad.

Later I caught my 25th and 50th year high school reunions. Those were great fun. I hope the same for yours.

Post: #7

Thanks for the responses guys.

@Dragan you raise a good point about giving meaning, you are right with not many moments in life with these sorts of events. Also to you, H1N1 and Davidovich I have spoken to my parents, and they despite that they still want me to do it, they feel that it is something I should do for myself rather than them. My dad thinks I will regret it in the future not having graduation photos. But to be honest I feel like its a memory I would not cherish, as I would rather have memories of being overseas instead.

I attended my high school graduation, obviously not as significant as graduating from uni but I barely remember it. I know that it will be a boring day of lots of waiting, hearing all the different names of people called that you don't even care about and taking photos.

I would 100% attend if it weren't for me being all the way in North America. I just don't see the value in cutting my trip short just to come back for a ceremony, especially if the burden is placed on me and not my parents.

Post: #8

I see you cherish your friends in Uni. You can have a little party with them after your last exams and tell them you may not be back for the graduation. So when it's time for graduation, feel free to decide yes or no.

Post: #9

Ausazn I was in a similar position to you last year. I was facing my last coming of age ceremony for school, my next one probably not being until when/if I get married or have children. Mine was different though, because my family lost a very close member of it just a month before the ceremony was supposed to take place. Another way I skewed different was that all of my friends were in younger classes, so I didn't have my people to walk with.

I ended up not going and just spending the time with my family that night. It was a bit of a sad time for us though, as we were still kind of mourning our loss. What I did do was book my first solo travel trip less than six weeks after my graduation. I thought the coming of age event was more important to execute in real life and for my personal growth than to a school I was probably never going to go back to and overcharged me for a piece of paper. Turns out I was right. That trip changed my entire views on life and got me to properly grieve for my family loss much more than walking for a diploma ever could have.

However, you seem to be close to your uni friends. High school graduation was much more meaningful for me to participate in because I felt like I was doing it with a group that I would look back on that with years later. Again, I was right. My high school group is still friends to this day almost 10 years after we first met. If you feel like you're going to be tight with your uni friends, you may reconsider what I said above. If you're not that close or feel like this is the end, maybe prioritize doing something for yourself like taking a solo trip abroad.

Post: #10

I will follow up: there are things that bind us together as human beings. And maybe I didn't accurately express this originally. One of those things is the nuclear family. Another is ritual/ ceremony. I'm searching for all the meaningful life experiences I've had, and most, involve others. Whether that may be dancing at a nightclub with friends and girls, going to a beautiful Christmas Eve Church Service and sharing it with others, eating an incredible dinner (sharing with friends and taking shots), or even approaching women (been doing it with my Serbian bros). This shit is all so meaningful to me. We're humans, we get more out of getting together to share moments. I don't regret my college graduation at all. We were a nuclear family, all together with extended family and friends. And I don't regret my high school one at all, the family is the most essential unit, and if your family is all there, you won't ever regret it.

Post: #11

I feel the same way as just about everyone else in this thread. I skipped my ceremony and don't really regret it.

However, my parents probably would have enjoyed the formal ceremony over just having me send them my degree in the mail. It sounds like the OPs parents would appreciate the ceremony too.

You might not cherish the memory of the graduation but you might look back fondly on having done something like that and seeing your parents proud.

Post: #12

I'd just do it for the experience. Its not the end of the world and you still can game the college girls / alumines anytime but its a once in a lifetime thing. I would definitely do it.

Post: #13

(05-15-2018 08:04 AM)General Mayhem Wrote:  You might not cherish the memory of the graduation but you might look back fondly on having done something like that and seeing your parents proud.

Yeah that is something I might have to discuss more with my parents. If not I can always do a deferred graduation for next year, but man it would be even more boring alone and without my group of uni mates ?

Okay guys so I have most of my close uni friends are graduating at the end of the year, but I am a lot closer with my friendship group outside of uni. So I am not too fussed about graduating with them, although it would be a nice memory I'm not sure if it is worth coming back from overseas for? That is the main issue. Flying back across the world for just for it.

Post: #14

I graduated 5 years ago and attended my sister's last year (flying back to California from Europe to do so). One of the sides of my family is very academic-orientated, so they're a big deal.

And:

Both were a colossal waste of time.

If I could have my time back for both of them I would in a heartbeat.

Post: #15

(05-15-2018 05:46 PM)ausazn Wrote:  

(05-15-2018 08:04 AM)General Mayhem Wrote:  You might not cherish the memory of the graduation but you might look back fondly on having done something like that and seeing your parents proud.

Yeah that is something I might have to discuss more with my parents. If not I can always do a deferred graduation for next year, but man it would be even more boring alone and without my group of uni mates ?

Okay guys so I have most of my close uni friends are graduating at the end of the year, but I am a lot closer with my friendship group outside of uni. So I am not too fussed about graduating with them, although it would be a nice memory I'm not sure if it is worth coming back from overseas for? That is the main issue. Flying back across the world for just for it.

You can test your skills and try to daygame some of these girls. You just might be invited to their "bachelorette" party. And it should work to your favor because its a cold-warm-ish approach "I think we were in history class together"

Post: #16

Yes if you have family who actually cares about it. No otherwise.