456
Wingman
  
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RE: Do Wingmen Hurt More than they Help?
That jives with my experience in NYC.
Caveat: I haven't spent much energy trying to have wings - I enjoy rolling solo.
My friends that have game, and we're equals, we've gotten lucky in finding a similar pair of girls. Otherwise we'd be taking laps on our own.
[Ironically I rarely go out with those game-having-friends, they are friends from another area of my life. The first time I did and we all pulled, I was laughing inside at how I wasted this 'resource' during earlier years. Didn't matter though -- I was happy to have those friends in the capacity they were already in.]
My friends that don't really have game, I pretty much accept I'm just generating "girl talk practice" if I mack it while they are in tow, due to what you wrote. (Though I've definitely gotten day2-lays from that, where the girl in the group liked me and realized the rest of the group was never gonna click).
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I suppose if I "wanted to roll with wings" I'd have more nuanced, varied opinions. But I mostly didn't care.
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Also: I've had fun with spontaneous wings, guys I met randomly while out. Sometimes they are too much and I've had to ditch -- other times it's been fruitful.
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A lot of this really depends on culture, city, personality, age, etc. In some college town, everyone rolls in some kind of a crew of similar-SMV like-minded pals.
In my city, it's much more varied. I also enjoy talking to groups and assimilating/extricating myself to taste.
(This post was last modified: 05-20-2018 08:43 PM by 456.)
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| 05-20-2018 08:43 PM |
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James Bond Next level
Recovering Beta

Posts: 189
Joined: Jul 2016
Reputation: 10
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RE: Do Wingmen Hurt More than they Help?
As someone who gamed with a lot of wingmen over the years, here's my observations:
Find someone with decent game. Otherwise they won't be able to chat up the ugly friend and will ruin your sets one way or another. Besides with good game, they will motivate you to be bolder and grow
Your wing and yourself have to be independent. Because when you arrive in a bar/club, not every set should be done with your wing. I actually recommend it ONLY with 2-sets and in specific situations. Talk here and there with your wing, between sets especially to keep a good vibe.
Find someone who respect the rules He who opens own the set, period. Make it clear with your wing, and keep an eye open the first nights outs. Indeed, some will try to steal your girl when you're in the bathroom.
Outside of that (as in 90% of potential wing), wingmen are neutral/counter-productive. Learn to game solo, there is no way around it, but keep looking for a true good wing. If you're only going for digits, you can actually do 2-sets on your own.
Make men great again!
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| 05-21-2018 09:28 AM |
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The following 3 users Like James Bond Next level's post:3 users Like James Bond Next level's post
Moto, rishboy77, Rocha
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Ringo
Alpha Male
   
Posts: 1,266
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RE: Do Wingmen Hurt More than they Help?
(05-21-2018 09:28 AM)James Bond Next level Wrote: Your wing and yourself have to be independent. Because when you arrive in a bar/club, not every set should be done with your wing. I actually recommend it ONLY with 2-sets and in specific situations. Talk here and there with your wing, between sets especially to keep a good vibe.
This is a really good point.
This was the M.O. with my best two wingmen. Approach solo. If the other girl (or someone in the group) is attractive or you're having trouble they can jump in. Otherwise they just stand a few meters away and discretely observe your approach. When you're done, they can give you feedback. Bad vibe? They'll motivate you. Good vibe? They build up on it. Tired? Their turn to approach as you sit back and watch. Having a "home base" is really useful.
In fact, having someone watch me would usually not only motivate me but make me bolder. If the approach failed because I was too cheeky, we'd share a laugh. But more often than not being bolder would actually result in better results.
To answer to OP's question:
In general, it's best to go out solo and be self reliant, just because it's really hard to find wings who are social, upbeat, positive and/or have good game.
However, if you do find one, your game will compound on his and the results tend to be even better.
Datasheets São Paulo, BR | Diamantina, BR | Osijek, HR | My most reliable opener
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| 05-21-2018 12:01 PM |
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The following 3 users Like Ringo's post:3 users Like Ringo's post
Dream Medicine, rishboy77, dknightbro
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AceP
Chubby Chaser
 
Posts: 358
Joined: Dec 2014
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RE: Do Wingmen Hurt More than they Help?
(05-21-2018 09:28 AM)James Bond Next level Wrote: As someone who gamed with a lot of wingmen over the years, here's my observations:
Find someone with decent game. Otherwise they won't be able to chat up the ugly friend and will ruin your sets one way or another. Besides with good game, they will motivate you to be bolder and grow
Your wing and yourself have to be independent. Because when you arrive in a bar/club, not every set should be done with your wing. I actually recommend it ONLY with 2-sets and in specific situations. Talk here and there with your wing, between sets especially to keep a good vibe.
Find someone who respect the rules He who opens own the set, period. Make it clear with your wing, and keep an eye open the first nights outs. Indeed, some will try to steal your girl when you're in the bathroom.
Outside of that (as in 90% of potential wing), wingmen are neutral/counter-productive. Learn to game solo, there is no way around it, but keep looking for a true good wing. If you're only going for digits, you can actually do 2-sets on your own.
^ This covers a lot of the good points.
Aside from that I also adapt my way around bring over wingmen who aren't PUA, have no Game knowledge, just alpha-decent looking social guys in general. Everytime I just let them know, they are the most alpha looking guys around, and we're gonna hit on some- women (I'll have to do the opening all the time) and I let them know, once I start talking, they can also just jump into the conversation. If it's a 3set and we have 3 guys, each of us just start talking to each one. They probably can't help you enough to get the multi-set separated by should be good enough for number close or isolation.
Still invaluable for dealing with group sets.
This is useful because I always need to meet people again and rebuild connections from zero since I like traveling alot.
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| 05-21-2018 12:15 PM |
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elRey
Beta Orbiter
Posts: 81
Joined: Aug 2015
Reputation: 9
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RE: Do Wingmen Hurt More than they Help?
Pros:
- The best women are found in groups.
- It can be difficult as a lone-wolf to penetrate a group, sometimes. Wingmen can create a sweet group energy where everyone in the group feels comfortable because everyone has at least one friend there.
- Sometimes, if you vibe particularly well with another guy, you create a dope 1+1=3 synergy that girls love.
- Also, sometimes they make approaches that you benefit from, and vice versa. I'm pretty good looking so I get a fair few girls coming straight my way that my mates couldn't get, but who approached. Literally other week my mate approached, girl said "I like your friend better, he's cuter" and an hour later we were banging. I wouldn't have approached her otherwise and damn she was hot.
- If you can wing with legit dudes with tight game, you can learn more about how to approach the whole beautiful dance of seduction. Learning mad angles. Helps you loosen up and adapt to different situations.
On the other hand:
- Going out solo teaches you fastest because you probably have tunnel-vision. Ha.
- You develop the inner confidence from the fact that it is up to you and you alone to control your outcome, and you realise in life you gotta suck it up and go for what you want. Again, helps you learn.
- I've met guys who've come out with me and who spit shit game/can't approach. Dead-weight. Can be a total waste of a night.
- When you're out solo, you can bounce around and go wherever you want, and are not tied to your mates.
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| 05-22-2018 01:37 AM |
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Rocha
True Player
    
Posts: 2,519
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RE: Do Wingmen Hurt More than they Help?
This is a very interesting theme for me, that I have been thinking about lately. I hope I can find time to elaborate a bit later. But just two or three thoughts;
- Extremely good looking wingman compared to me are a no go. They will get all the attention almost effortless and will leave me frustrated, specially in places with a few targets. I dont mind hanging out if he is a really cool guy and I enjoy his company, but if in one of the aforementioned places I know I better just enjoy the company and not think much about pulling girls.
Exceptions is when its a good looking couple, then it will raise my value, or in a big club with all the chaos involved and I can do my thing.
- Ugly, not stylish enough or non social calibrated wingman also a no go. Will lower my value and as the saying goes, "tell me who you hang out with and I tell you who you are". Also can get me frustrated.
- Passive guys who dont approach but also dont fuck up your approaches, I am OK with that. I can keep conversation flowing by myself.
- The ideal wing is a guy who is not much better or much worse looking than me. Is a good buddy to have some drinks and chat, can help entertaining a pair of girls, does not get jeleous that you are having success, and respects the rule of the one who approached first has not only priority but exclusivity. In sum, one hand washes the other, I will help him too.
Nonetheless the need of a wing is overrated, most of my bangs came while solo.
Also finding the ideal wingman is one of the most difficults aspects of game, or of life, it is a very big conjugation of factors, is not easy to find like minded people, loyal, articulate, with the same levels of energy, money, style...etc.
"Поехали!!" (Yuri Gagarin, 1961)
Twitter - Роча
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| 05-22-2018 08:13 AM |
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The following 1 user Likes Rocha's post:1 user Likes Rocha's post
nola
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nola
Banned
Posts: 451
Joined: Jun 2016
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RE: Do Wingmen Hurt More than they Help?
(05-22-2018 08:13 AM)Rocha Wrote: This is a very interesting theme for me, that I have been thinking about lately. I hope I can find time to elaborate a bit later. But just two or three thoughts;
- Extremely good looking wingman compared to me are a no go. They will get all the attention almost effortless and will leave me frustrated, specially in places with a few targets. I dont mind hanging out if he is a really cool guy and I enjoy his company, but if in one of the aforementioned places I know I better just enjoy the company and not think much about pulling girls.
Exceptions is when its a good looking couple, then it will raise my value, or in a big club with all the chaos involved and I can do my thing.
- Ugly, not stylish enough or non social calibrated wingman also a no go. Will lower my value and as the saying goes, "tell me who you hang out with and I tell you who you are". Also can get me frustrated.
- Passive guys who dont approach but also dont fuck up your approaches, I am OK with that. I can keep conversation flowing by myself.
- The ideal wing is a guy who is not much better or much worse looking than me. Is a good buddy to have some drinks and chat, can help entertaining a pair of girls, does not get jeleous that you are having success, and respects the rule of the one who approached first has not only priority but exclusivity. In sum, one hand washes the other, I will help him too.
Nonetheless the need of a wing is overrated, most of my bangs came while solo.
Also finding the ideal wingman is one of the most difficults aspects of game, or of life, it is a very big conjugation of factors, is not easy to find like minded people, loyal, articulate, with the same levels of energy, money, style...etc.
This is a very concise breakdown although I'd argue the first point. I have better success with wings better looking than me.
An extreme example of this is I am friends with a former NBA player who is not only a former NBA player but much better looking and far far far wealthier than I am. When I first started hanging out with him I was frustrated but eventually we got our game to match up through some communication. The key was we actually had very different taste in girls. He liked more meat on the bones and I like them rail thin. Some girls that know basketball come for selfies and to (attempt) to hang out other girls actually do not give a fuck and just wanted to hang out. I have no problem separating and isolating at the end of a evening when we hang out. We also rarely go back to his place unless we decide to throw an after party. Even then I've many times been able to get a girl to leave the after party with me and uber back to my much less impressive place.
While I might be many times the 2nd pick compared to my friend why should I care.? I've had a few instances where a girl asked me to go back to my place and barely even acknowledged his presence.
(This post was last modified: 05-23-2018 10:26 AM by nola.)
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| 05-23-2018 10:16 AM |
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