Post: #1

I have been dealing with a girl for a while now. We've seen each other quite some times through social circle and always been flirting, so i decided to invite her out, and we've went on 2 dates so far, where i managed to kiss her on the first date and also the second date. She says she really likes me, but whenever i try to push for sex, or ask her to come hang out at my place, she says "no let's just hang out somewhere else", like clearly she's resistant to the idea, since she knows what it could lead to.

We have been seeing each other a little over 1.5 months.

I did a stupid thing and asked her yesterday. I know you should never talk to girls about such things, but i told her that i want to be sure about something, and whether she's actually serious about this. I asked her, what do you exactly want, it's hard to read you, do you want a relationship, sex, or are you just wasting my time?

I mean when you've been "dating" for so long something must happen. Otherwise why spend time + money on going on more dates. She's shy so she never talks about these things. I asked her, would you actually have sex with me? She said she would like to see me more times before she is comfortable having sex with me, but that she would.

I might have come off as needy, no abundance mentality with this "talk" we had, but she didn't seem to mind so much. It's just me that regret having it. I just wanted to get things straight. Anyways.

How do i deal with this kind of girl that needs so much assurance, that you're not just there for a quick fuck and then piss off somewhere else. Because that's the impression i got from this kind of girl, they're holding onto their vagina until you prove yourself. But isn't 1.5 months proof enough that i am not just there for a quick fuck. I know girls don't think with logic, but with emotion. But how should i go about this and have it lead to sex. Should i just keep escalating further, like 3rd 4th 5th date kind of thing? Should i mention sex to her again, or should i not talk about it ever again.

Post: #2

Is she very young, is she a virgin, is she from a conservative background, is she LTR material, is she super hot? If yes to all of the above, you might consider keeping in touch with her. Call her back in two months.

In all other cases: NEXT

Post: #3

Post: #4

(05-21-2018 09:33 AM)Montrose Wrote:  Is she very young, is she a virgin, is she from a conservative background, is she LTR material, is she super hot? If yes to all of the above, you might consider keeping in touch with her. Call her back in two months.

In all other cases: NEXT

I'd like to know the details of this too.

Everything in game needs calibration. Just like marketing, you need to "know who your client is" and "what they want" before you can sell them something.

You also know that if she just messed around too much, you can just play "the jealous game", stop chasing her and she's gonna be "oh no, whats going on?"

Comfortable having sex = doesn't sound good to me. How old are you both? It's sounding like a teenage scene to me because usually everyone already knows what's up. She could also just be testing you and see how far she can "control you - before she puts out"

Post: #5

(05-21-2018 09:21 AM)chvrches Wrote:  I have been dealing with a girl for a while now. We've seen each other quite some times through social circle and always been flirting, so i decided to invite her out, and we've went on 2 dates so far, where i managed to kiss her on the first date and also the second date. She says she really likes me, but whenever i try to push for sex, or ask her to come hang out at my place, she says "no let's just hang out somewhere else", like clearly she's resistant to the idea, since she knows what it could lead to.

We have been seeing each other a little over 1.5 months.

I did a stupid thing and asked her yesterday. I know you should never talk to girls about such things, but i told her that i want to be sure about something, and whether she's actually serious about this. I asked her, what do you exactly want, it's hard to read you, do you want a relationship, sex, or are you just wasting my time?

I mean when you've been "dating" for so long something must happen. Otherwise why spend time + money on going on more dates. She's shy so she never talks about these things. I asked her, would you actually have sex with me? She said she would like to see me more times before she is comfortable having sex with me, but that she would.

I might have come off as needy, no abundance mentality with this "talk" we had, but she didn't seem to mind so much. It's just me that regret having it. I just wanted to get things straight. Anyways.

How do i deal with this kind of girl that needs so much assurance, that you're not just there for a quick fuck and then piss off somewhere else. Because that's the impression i got from this kind of girl, they're holding onto their vagina until you prove yourself. But isn't 1.5 months proof enough that i am not just there for a quick fuck. I know girls don't think with logic, but with emotion. But how should i go about this and have it lead to sex. Should i just keep escalating further, like 3rd 4th 5th date kind of thing? Should i mention sex to her again, or should i not talk about it ever again.

You shouldn't have started a new thread, because this is presumably about the same girl we already answered your questions about. Why did you not mention the date where she went cold on you. It could be days months or years before she puts out. Less than two months and only two dates is a tiny amount of investment in the mind of a virgin so it's kind of comical that you feel entitled to sex. She is mentally still a child despite being eighteen. Getting antsy about it probably set the clock back to zero in her mind. It's not a good sign she doesn't even trust you enough to go to your place.

The advice is still the same as before. If you legitimately enjoy spending time with her, invest the dozens of dates or whatever she requires to be comfortable (with relatively high risk of getting nothing after a lot of time). If you don't genuinely like her or any other virgin a lot, it's just not worth the risk of wasting so much time.

I get the impression this is mostly a case of the classic wanting what you can't have. You'll find it's not worth the time and money in the end. Move on and find a cooler girl that isn't going to hysterically go hot and cold and jerk you around for several months with no reward.

Post: #6

(05-21-2018 12:09 PM)AceP Wrote:  

(05-21-2018 09:33 AM)Montrose Wrote:  Is she very young, is she a virgin, is she from a conservative background, is she LTR material, is she super hot? If yes to all of the above, you might consider keeping in touch with her. Call her back in two months.

In all other cases: NEXT

I'd like to know the details of this too.

Everything in game needs calibration. Just like marketing, you need to "know who your client is" and "what they want" before you can sell them something.

You also know that if she just messed around too much, you can just play "the jealous game", stop chasing her and she's gonna be "oh no, whats going on?"

Comfortable having sex = doesn't sound good to me. How old are you both? It's sounding like a teenage scene to me because usually everyone already knows what's up. She could also just be testing you and see how far she can "control you - before she puts out"

I think you're right, im thinking whether its a shit test or not, thats what im trying to figure out. That's why i talked to her about it, but who says she's saying the truth anyway. I could try doing some push/pull and stop showing attraction the next time we're out with our social circle.

@jcardial No man it's not the same girl, it's another plate, she's not a virgin. I haven't had problems with her until now the 2nd date where i was expecting things to go my direction.

I dropped the last one after your advice, but this one is another annoying similar case. But thank you for the advice again, either im finding the wrong type of girls, the LTR before sex kind of girls, or im just playing the game badly, not creating enough comfort from the beginning, not showing intentions clearly or not knowing when to drop the plate.. i need to learn what im doing wrong so i can fix it

Post: #7

I don't think you're finding the wrong girls but you may be sending out the wrong signals as a nice guy. You keep mentioning LTR in which should be out of your vocabulary until you truly know the lizard. Why I am saying you may be projecting the wrong image is because if a girl wants something they're going to get it. You need to establish the mentality of act as if you are top of the pedestal that shouldn't not be a secondary option. Tom Brady on Brad Pitt would not have to wait what they.

Post: #8

(05-22-2018 05:09 AM)chvrches Wrote:  

(05-21-2018 12:09 PM)AceP Wrote:  

(05-21-2018 09:33 AM)Montrose Wrote:  Is she very young, is she a virgin, is she from a conservative background, is she LTR material, is she super hot? If yes to all of the above, you might consider keeping in touch with her. Call her back in two months.

In all other cases: NEXT

I'd like to know the details of this too.

Everything in game needs calibration. Just like marketing, you need to "know who your client is" and "what they want" before you can sell them something.

You also know that if she just messed around too much, you can just play "the jealous game", stop chasing her and she's gonna be "oh no, whats going on?"

Comfortable having sex = doesn't sound good to me. How old are you both? It's sounding like a teenage scene to me because usually everyone already knows what's up. She could also just be testing you and see how far she can "control you - before she puts out"

I think you're right, im thinking whether its a shit test or not, thats what im trying to figure out. That's why i talked to her about it, but who says she's saying the truth anyway. I could try doing some push/pull and stop showing attraction the next time we're out with our social circle.

@jcardial No man it's not the same girl, it's another plate, she's not a virgin. I haven't had problems with her until now the 2nd date where i was expecting things to go my direction.

I dropped the last one after your advice, but this one is another annoying similar case. But thank you for the advice again, either im finding the wrong type of girls, the LTR before sex kind of girls, or im just playing the game badly, not creating enough comfort from the beginning, not showing intentions clearly or not knowing when to drop the plate.. i need to learn what im doing wrong so i can fix it

It sounds like you showed plenty of intent if you were making out on the first date. The much bigger issue is likely comfort. You can't really count the 1.5 months in your social circle, though that should in theory contribute to comfort if you have a good reputation in the group. If she has heard you're a bit of a player and macking on chicks regularly it's antagonistic to your quick sex cause. Regardless of whether or not she is wary of your reputation, it's natural for her to be cautious you might pump and dump and leave her facing the judgment of the group.

Most girls drop hints that there isn't enough comfort and you can adjust accordingly. However, putting her on the spot and asking point black is much worse for your cause than just probing for info in more casual and flirtatious ways. You don't want to show your hand so blatantly and kill the wonder and tension. Women vastly prefer things to "just happen" organically, so it's a pretty big mistake to be removing all plausible deniability and asking her to give you verbal confirmation that she wants the d.

Do you have much in common with these girls? Is there generally decent chemistry in the conversation? I am picky and always looking for clues (they are usually there even in the first few minutes) to decide whether it's worth investing more. If there's more than superficial attraction building comfort will be ten times easier because the narrative of a successful relationship is so much more feasible in her mind. It seems like you aren't having problems initially attracting girls, so you can afford to screen harder for more compatibility or a bit more experience if you aren't looking for something serious.

Post: #9

First you need to make sure she is well fed, showered and completed the necessary stretches. Before you remove her clothing make absolutely sure you have both signed a consent form for PIV (Penis in Vagina) sex. If you can have a notary of the public available this would be ideal but not everyone can afford this. You don't want her coming back and claiming she was under the influence or signed under duress, thus it's imperative no alcohol or drugs are consumed by either of you prior to signing or the contract could be rendered null & void. Scan some copies and send them to your local DA,and Attorney for safe measure after all of the above is completed.

Once you've completed the act turn your phone to record before she leaves your home. Check your states laws on recording conversations as these laws may vary state to state. If you say something wrong during pillow talk this might possibly trigger her into regretting having sex with you which could result in a rape accusation or even worse a criminal charge.

It's always better to err on the side of caution and have additional forms ready in case you decide to do anything on the fringe. Anal, BDSM, S&M and Oral should also have their own separate contracts. All contracts should be very specific to avoid any confusion in case she later decides to join the #MeToo movement or you become wealthy or famous later in life.

Also Note: If you plan to talk dirty to her make sure to have a form for this as well if you're in a state or country that has hate speech codes of conduct.

If you already have some social status a Non-disclosure Agreement might be necessary as well.

Always remember it's best to consult an Attorney and check your local laws before having sex.

Post: #10

@jcardial I think im using the 1.5 month as a crutch, when we were never actually alone just the two of us, but spent it with our social circle. In reality it is only the 2 dates so far, when i think about it after reading your post.

(05-22-2018 08:15 AM)jcardial Wrote:  Do you have much in common with these girls? Is there generally decent chemistry in the conversation? I am picky and always looking for clues (they are usually there even in the first few minutes) to decide whether it's worth investing more. If there's more than superficial attraction building comfort will be ten times easier because the narrative of a successful relationship is so much more feasible in her mind. It seems like you aren't having problems initially attracting girls, so you can afford to screen harder for more compatibility or a bit more experience if you aren't looking for something serious.

Perhaps that's the problem, i don't have much in common with them i just feel attracted to them physically i guess. And if they're the LTR and im just trying to fuck it can never work out. It makes sense. I need to learn to screen better.

(05-22-2018 08:15 AM)jcardial Wrote:  Most girls drop hints that there isn't enough comfort and you can adjust accordingly. However, putting her on the spot and asking point black is much worse for your cause than just probing for info in more casual and flirtatious ways. You don't want to show your hand so blatantly and kill the wonder and tension. Women vastly prefer things to "just happen" organically, so it's a pretty big mistake to be removing all plausible deniability and asking her to give you verbal confirmation that she wants the d

So damn true, i regret what i had done the next day. It was unnecessary.

Again... crazy spot on advice from you jcardial. You're always helping a lot. Appreciate it. I still have so much to learn.

Post: #11

Post: #12

Why don't you just put this girl in the line up and get interactions going with several other girls (in person)

Also put down the phone if you haven't already. Your phone is meant for business, emergencies and setting dates with girls only. No man should ever be texting with a girl unless it's a time and a place to meet.