Post: #1

So girl at work (yes I know don't shit where you eat). Kind of cute 6.5/10, she was really into me and I was working a lot of push and very little pull. I starting dating another bitch but dumped her after a few weeks and was thinking maybe this girl could be a nice fling. The girl in question started dating another guy about a week ago. I ask her if she wants to hang out yesterday since she's still fresh in the relationship. She agrees maybe this weekend, I told her not to tell anyone (possible mistake?). I know this girl likes me. So the next day I come in to work and overhear that she was at the other guys house last night probably fucking him. At this point I assume its too late to fuck this girl so I text her:

me - so i cant do saturday and it seems like you're hooked up with someone else so i think its best we just stay friends

her - Well I told you I was pretty busy this weekend. And I thought you only wanted to be friends cause you didn’t want anyone to know. I just thought you were trying to hang out lol

me - oh haha sorry i gave you the wrong impression, but i wouldn't be interested in hanging out as friends one on one, thats kind of weird

her - Lol that’s why they have public places to make it less weird ?

me - i dont really wanna hang out with a girl who has no interest, just sayin

her - Then don’t lol you’re a free man. You can do whatever your heart desires. No one is forcing you to do anything

me - so you have no interest but you want to hang out? hmmm this is so weird, im not gay so i just dont think it would work haha

her - Lol sorry I’m not your typical girl that looks at every guy like they’re a piece of meat. And I don’t see how hanging out with a girl as a friend is gay? But you do you haha

me - silly girl if i thought you were typical i would never have asked you if you wanted to hang out, i guess i just think less of a guy who hangs out with women who don't think he's "boyfriend" material.

her - Maybe not for me exactly, but I’m sure you are for someone else. You’re a nice guy and you actually listen when people are talking to you. You shouldn’t think less of yourself from hanging out with a girl, even if it’s just as a friend. There’s nothing wrong with it and you shouldn’t feel judged by it. Fuck everyone else haha just be yourself and do what makes you happy

me - like i said in my first text, not really interested in hanging out like that

So that is it, she stopped texting back after that. I sit near her and the whole time I was texting her she was walking around and making a lot of noise (probably intentionally). Yes I
feel like I fucked this up, but I am a total newbie to game so try not to be too harsh on me. I was so intent on trying to maintain frame and high value. So is this salvageable or should i ignore her from now on?

Post: #2

You fucked up....BAD.

She said:

You're nice
You listen to people.
Nothing wrong with being

You:

Text way too much
Give too much away
Don't keep things simple
You don't tell anyone at work if you're dating anyone
You didn't keep enough mystery


The worst part was saying we should just be friends or to tell her not to tell anyone.

This thing isn't done, it's burnt to a fucking crisp.

You're so sprung on a girl that your first post is about this chick.

Chill on this girl, play it cool, distant by slightly friendly, don't flirt with her.


In the future post your texting questions here:

/thread-28919-page-136.html

Post: #3

Personally, it's like the roles are reversed. Like she's the man and you're the girl. Kaotic is right however

Post: #4

This conversation only needed the first two texts.

Everything after that was cringeworthy and unrequired.

Post: #5

Bumping this as I had a similar issue last night.

One of my assistants at work (I know, I know..)

We'd been on one date which was alright. She'd been home to see her family.
She sent me a smug text and I didn't answer.
Sent me another saying you're ignoring me.
I wrote back 'yep'.
She came back a few times before I told her her texts were too cocky to reply to.
She says sorry so we get to talking again.
Texting every day but quite cocky in her replies, although she was always talking about our next date.
She makes a big deal about not being a girly girl 'princess' - she pretty much is..

We meet up in a bar where I'd booked a table. We're half an hour in, no toilet breaks from me nor her, phones out of sight and her phone goes.
She digs it out, says "uh huh" and puts it in her bag, says to me - "I have to go."

I said "what?"
She said "its my friend, I want to see my friend.." I said "is it an emergency?"
"No"
"Sure .. go."
"What are you going to do?"
"Who cares?"

Went home and turned off my phone. She sent me a bunch of texts overnite saying "sorry! sorry!"
Woke up, saw them and wrote a little screed:
I feel like I should have just blocked her on apps and been cool and polite but no more. the subtle burn in the office.

Did feel good sending this:

"In my view you can only have done that utterly teenage..
>pick up phone. Say two words maximum to the person on the other end of the line. Get up and leave without warning <...
disappearing act out of nowhere last night because you have no respect for me.
..
At all.

That kind of disrespect is Not Acceptable to me.
Ever.

When you find the guy that actually goes along with that kind of childish disrespect : Run.

You will go from looking down on him, making jokes about him, throwing out ambivalent comments, sarcasm, - treating his time as nothing to you - ..
to actively despising him for staying in your life and putting up with all, or even any, of that..

But don't worry. I will continue to treat you as a colleague with (small 'f') friendliness and (small ' r') respect - regardless of the way you think you can have fun acting like a princess toward others."

Felt good at 7 this morning but now.. maybe I should have just said nothing at all.
Work has been alright today. We're polite when we have to be but otherwise ignore each other.
She most probably doesn't give a shit.

The only thing that I quite like is that in the past when she falls out with people at work she shits herself about losing her job because her job isn't that secure.

Falling out with me is one of the worst things she could have done because if I wanted to I could get rid of her.
I don't want to be petty though.
I'd like to break her head but I'll stick to being calm, professional and moving on.

Post: #6

(06-02-2018 02:00 AM)Bienvenuto Wrote:  Bumping this as I had a similar issue last night.

One of my assistants at work (I know, I know..)

We'd been on one date which was alright. She'd been home to see her family.
She sent me a smug text and I didn't answer.
Sent me another saying you're ignoring me.
I wrote back 'yep'.
She came back a few times before I told her her texts were too cocky to reply to.
She says sorry so we get to talking again.
Texting every day but quite cocky in her replies, although she was always talking about our next date.
She makes a big deal about not being a girly girl 'princess' - she pretty much is..

We meet up in a bar where I'd booked a table. We're half an hour in, no toilet breaks from me nor her, phones out of sight and her phone goes.
She digs it out, says "uh huh" and puts it in her bag, says to me - "I have to go."

I said "what?"
She said "its my friend, I want to see my friend.." I said "is it an emergency?"
"No"
"Sure .. go."
"What are you going to do?"
"Who cares?"

Went home and turned off my phone. She sent me a bunch of texts overnite saying "sorry! sorry!"
Woke up, saw them and wrote a little screed:
I feel like I should have just blocked her on apps and been cool and polite but no more. the subtle burn in the office.

Did feel good sending this:

"In my view you can only have done that utterly teenage..
>pick up phone. Say two words maximum to the person on the other end of the line. Get up and leave without warning <...
disappearing act out of nowhere last night because you have no respect for me.
..
At all.

That kind of disrespect is Not Acceptable to me.
Ever.

When you find the guy that actually goes along with that kind of childish disrespect : Run.

You will go from looking down on him, making jokes about him, throwing out ambivalent comments, sarcasm, - treating his time as nothing to you - ..
to actively despising him for staying in your life and putting up with all, or even any, of that..

But don't worry. I will continue to treat you as a colleague with (small 'f') friendliness and (small ' r') respect - regardless of the way you think you can have fun acting like a princess toward others."

Felt good at 7 this morning but now.. maybe I should have just said nothing at all.
Work has been alright today. We're polite when we have to be but otherwise ignore each other.
She most probably doesn't give a shit.

The only thing that I quite like is that in the past when she falls out with people at work she shits herself about losing her job because her job isn't that secure.

Falling out with me is one of the worst things she could have done because if I wanted to I could get rid of her.
I don't want to be petty though.
I'd like to break her head but I'll stick to being calm, professional and moving on.

You definitely shouldn't have said anything. That wall of text you sent her is incredibly cringe worthy and counterproductive to your interests both professionally and romantically, dropping your chances of salvaging it from five percent to 0.0000%. You framed yourself as a man that doesn't inspire respect from women and as a pushover if you were to forgive her actions. You also gave her tons of ammo if you try to fire her so please explain how that's still an option. You got butt hurt and really painted yourself into a corner.

Stop narrating your interactions with women. It's your fault that you killed her attraction towards you in the date, not hers. You just felt entitled to her respect since you're her work superior and that's perhaps why she felt pressure to agree to it in the first place and was keeping you at arms length with the 'cockiness.' You had probably already given her reason to doubt you before the date, so she pre arranged the friend's call/text so that she'd have an excuse to bail if you were acting weird.

Stop externalizing blame and accept responsibility for your actions and game blunders. Also, stop trying to date women at the office, especially since you have no game and can't control your emotions when it goes bad.

Post: #7

(06-02-2018 11:55 AM)jcardial Wrote:  

(06-02-2018 02:00 AM)Bienvenuto Wrote:  Bumping this as I had a similar issue last night.

One of my assistants at work (I know, I know..)

We'd been on one date which was alright. She'd been home to see her family.
She sent me a smug text and I didn't answer.
Sent me another saying you're ignoring me.
I wrote back 'yep'.
She came back a few times before I told her her texts were too cocky to reply to.
She says sorry so we get to talking again.
Texting every day but quite cocky in her replies, although she was always talking about our next date.
She makes a big deal about not being a girly girl 'princess' - she pretty much is..

We meet up in a bar where I'd booked a table. We're half an hour in, no toilet breaks from me nor her, phones out of sight and her phone goes.
She digs it out, says "uh huh" and puts it in her bag, says to me - "I have to go."

I said "what?"
She said "its my friend, I want to see my friend.." I said "is it an emergency?"
"No"
"Sure .. go."
"What are you going to do?"
"Who cares?"

Went home and turned off my phone. She sent me a bunch of texts overnite saying "sorry! sorry!"
Woke up, saw them and wrote a little screed:
I feel like I should have just blocked her on apps and been cool and polite but no more. the subtle burn in the office.

Did feel good sending this:

"In my view you can only have done that utterly teenage..
>pick up phone. Say two words maximum to the person on the other end of the line. Get up and leave without warning <...
disappearing act out of nowhere last night because you have no respect for me.
..
At all.

That kind of disrespect is Not Acceptable to me.
Ever.

When you find the guy that actually goes along with that kind of childish disrespect : Run.

You will go from looking down on him, making jokes about him, throwing out ambivalent comments, sarcasm, - treating his time as nothing to you - ..
to actively despising him for staying in your life and putting up with all, or even any, of that..

But don't worry. I will continue to treat you as a colleague with (small 'f') friendliness and (small ' r') respect - regardless of the way you think you can have fun acting like a princess toward others."

Felt good at 7 this morning but now.. maybe I should have just said nothing at all.
Work has been alright today. We're polite when we have to be but otherwise ignore each other.
She most probably doesn't give a shit.

The only thing that I quite like is that in the past when she falls out with people at work she shits herself about losing her job because her job isn't that secure.

Falling out with me is one of the worst things she could have done because if I wanted to I could get rid of her.
I don't want to be petty though.
I'd like to break her head but I'll stick to being calm, professional and moving on.

You definitely shouldn't have said anything. That wall of text you sent her is incredibly cringe worthy and counterproductive to your interests both professionally and romantically, dropping your chances of salvaging it from five percent to 0.0000%. You framed yourself as a man that doesn't inspire respect from women and as a pushover if you were to forgive her actions. You also gave her tons of ammo if you try to fire her so please explain how that's still an option. You got butt hurt and really painted yourself into a corner.

Stop narrating your interactions with women. It's your fault that you killed her attraction towards you in the date, not hers. You just felt entitled to her respect since you're her work superior and that's perhaps why she felt pressure to agree to it in the first place and was keeping you at arms length with the 'cockiness.' You had probably already given her reason to doubt you before the date, so she pre arranged the friend's call/text so that she'd have an excuse to bail if you were acting weird.

Stop externalizing blame and accept responsibility for your actions and game blunders. Also, stop trying to date women at the office, especially since you have no game and can't control your emotions when it goes bad.

You make good points.

I guess that's what the forum is for: a reality check.

>You also gave her tons of ammo if you try to fire her so please explain how that's still an option<

---she works for 3 managers: one is an alcoholic in the midst of a divorce that she's been dating alongside others I've just discovered. One is the top performer here who is dating his other assistant and who hates her work and is campaigning to have her fired, quite publicly actually.
The other is me.
Before she walked out of the bar she was saying to me that she really values me and alcoholic's support because she is worried about Other Manager and her job.
This is South Asia - no-one gives a shit about work place harassment. Every other guy in the office but 3 of us (including the guy at the top) is banging their office assistant - every one of them, even the gay guy. We're getting stupid pay rises offered to keep us because we're the box office. Me, I'm planning on taking one of the other offers to go elsewhere. #metoo hasn't made it here yet.---

None of that takes away from your analysis, makes it okay to be even more of a dick or cheesy about this (despite the fact I already have been) or makes up for my sh*t game and my further mistakes afterward.

My takeaway - I need to be sober and professional going forward in my work life and work hard on these flaws in my personal life.