Post: #1

Hi all

A few months ago my divorce went through after being in a relationship for 12 years.

The past few months I've not done much beyond spending time with my daughter, hitting the gym, working at work and on my side line business.

Obviously I love spending time with my daughter And have built a nice pot of cash from the sideline, but im starting to feel like something is missing. I don't want any kind of relationship with a woman, but id like to start hooking up again.

I have 3 weeks holiday to take before the years out and I'm not sure how best to spend it. I'm leaning towards city breaks so not to interfere with seeing my 2 year daughter. I may take two weeks off in September, go away for a few days then spend the rest of it in the UK at home. I'm liable to spend most of it working on my business unless I have something else to focus on....I'd like to sharpen my skills with women during that time. ?

To give yiu a bit of insight, I'm 38, 6"2, lifted regularly since my late teens, never used gear, lean (4 pack) rather than bulky. pretty shy, self concious and anxious around most half attractive women. Prone to not saying much or something slightly odd due to my anxiety. I put up a tinder account recently with pretty mediocre photos and a woman who's been encouraging me to signup said 'not bad photos 7/10'. Several chaps I've been chatting to at the gym over the past year or so have umprompted said I'll meet someone in no time as I'm a chatty and good looking bloke - I don't have anxiety chatting to other men.

Before meeting my now ex I spent most of my twenties getting drunk in clubs, standing around waiting for women to approach me
.. which rarely happened! Slept with 60 odd women, pretty much always drunk and most of them were 6/7's. 40 odd in SE Asia, but you know the score out there! came in later twenties when I got into drugs and developed a bit of a bad boy rep.

Want to avoid slipping back into relying on alcohol to take my anxiety away in social situations.

How would you recommend working on my anxiety around women? I've started reading good looking loser recently and much of what he writes resonates with me. My issue is in prone to over thinking and spending time alone reading and reading, but not taking any action. I'm liable to be in the same position this time next year at this rate.

Looking to change things now. What would you recommend. Like I say, I'll probably take two weeks off from work next month, so can use that to start building my confidence and skills with women.

Cheers!

Post: #2

(08-29-2018 08:35 AM)B80 Wrote:  Slept with 60 odd women, pretty much always drunk and most of them were 6/7's. 40 odd in SE Asia

Thailand and Britain so this doesn't really count. Both countries are like sex = is the equivalent of saying hello.

Just focus on your work and your daughter. I doubt you'll ever meet a high quality woman in Britain as a divorcee. British people are always pretty trashy when I've met them around the world.

Post: #3

Wait for Roosh's new book to come out. I haven't read it, but judging from the reviews, all your questions will be answered there.

Post: #4

Approach as many as you can - just for a chat about silly things - talk to as many as you can during day or in the clubs - without any pressure.

Post: #5

I would definitely recommend you do the 100 approach challenge from Roosh (I believe details are on his Website) Keep reading GLL I like Chris, but also invest in reading well laid out Gamebooks such as Bang from Roosh, and my favorite How to connect with women by Wayne Elise (better known as PUA Juggler)

Also check out the Tinder thread on here for some tips. I'm not a Tinder specialist... but players on here have been mentioning FOR YEARS the importance of Professionaly taken pictures for anything online related. Since you're already in shape... get this taken care of ASAP my friend

Post: #6

(08-29-2018 08:35 AM)B80 Wrote:  Hi all

A few months ago my divorce went through after being in a relationship for 12 years.

The past few months I've not done much beyond spending time with my daughter, hitting the gym, working at work and on my side line business.

Obviously I love spending time with my daughter And have built a nice pot of cash from the sideline, but im starting to feel like something is missing. I don't want any kind of relationship with a woman, but id like to start hooking up again.

I have 3 weeks holiday to take before the years out and I'm not sure how best to spend it. I'm leaning towards city breaks so not to interfere with seeing my 2 year daughter. I may take two weeks off in September, go away for a few days then spend the rest of it in the UK at home. I'm liable to spend most of it working on my business unless I have something else to focus on....I'd like to sharpen my skills with women during that time. ?

To give yiu a bit of insight, I'm 38, 6"2, lifted regularly since my late teens, never used gear, lean (4 pack) rather than bulky. pretty shy, self concious and anxious around most half attractive women. Prone to not saying much or something slightly odd due to my anxiety. I put up a tinder account recently with pretty mediocre photos and a woman who's been encouraging me to signup said 'not bad photos 7/10'. Several chaps I've been chatting to at the gym over the past year or so have umprompted said I'll meet someone in no time as I'm a chatty and good looking bloke - I don't have anxiety chatting to other men.

Before meeting my now ex I spent most of my twenties getting drunk in clubs, standing around waiting for women to approach me
.. which rarely happened! Slept with 60 odd women, pretty much always drunk and most of them were 6/7's. 40 odd in SE Asia, but you know the score out there! came in later twenties when I got into drugs and developed a bit of a bad boy rep.

Want to avoid slipping back into relying on alcohol to take my anxiety away in social situations.

How would you recommend working on my anxiety around women? I've started reading good looking loser recently and much of what he writes resonates with me. My issue is in prone to over thinking and spending time alone reading and reading, but not taking any action. I'm liable to be in the same position this time next year at this rate.

Looking to change things now. What would you recommend. Like I say, I'll probably take two weeks off from work next month, so can use that to start building my confidence and skills with women.

Cheers!

You've been handed a fleeting opportunity to raise your daughter YOUR WAY. This should take precedence over your seeming obsession with getting "back on the wagon". What, you haven't been sufficiently jerked around enough from the likes of your ex?

Post: #7

Bang all the milfs on the kids playdate. Rinse and repeat in new circles.

Post: #8

You have relatively a lot going for you. First you need to fix your mental state. Read the first couple of chapters of Roosh’s new book on inner game and pre game. Then you just have to get out there back in the game

Post: #9

(08-29-2018 09:03 AM)BaatumMania Wrote:  

(08-29-2018 08:35 AM)B80 Wrote:  Slept with 60 odd women, pretty much always drunk and most of them were 6/7's. 40 odd in SE Asia

Thailand and Britain so this doesn't really count. Both countries are like sex = is the equivalent of saying hello.

Haha, I wish mate. Have you ever visited the UK?

(08-29-2018 09:07 AM)Horus Wrote:  Wait for Roosh's new book to come out. I haven't read it, but judging from the reviews, all your questions will be answered there.

Wasn't aware he had a new book about to be released. Thanks for letting me know, I'll definitely take a look.

(08-29-2018 09:11 AM)Pytonga Wrote:  Approach as many as you can - just for a chat about silly things - talk to as many as you can during day or in the clubs - without any pressure.

Deep down I know I have to get myself out of the house more as like anything there's only so much theory you can read to set the foundation. It's like reading about mountain climbing for 5 years and then going out and expecting to climb Everest right away. You will only excel at something by actually doing it, after a certain point.

I've picked up from here that women aren't going to become turned up by deep conversations or too serious subjects right away. I need to learn the art of small talk and discussing random crap thats going on.

(08-29-2018 09:28 AM)Captain Gh Wrote:  I would definitely recommend you do the 100 approach challenge from Roosh (I believe details are on his Website) Keep reading GLL I like Chris, but also invest in reading well laid out Gamebooks such as Bang from Roosh, and my favorite How to connect with women by Wayne Elise (better known as PUA Juggler)

Also check out the Tinder thread on here for some tips. I'm not a Tinder specialist... but players on here have been mentioning FOR YEARS the importance of Professionaly taken pictures for anything online related. Since you're already in shape... get this taken care of ASAP my friend

Cool, thanks. I'll look up the 100 approach challenge.

Yeah I did read that thread a few weeks back and felt getting professional photos are bit OTT and look try hard, but you're right no doubt judging by my results so far! A couple of aquintances said I need to get photos sorted out and that they were surprised I hadn't done better than I have so, so there is mileage in in it.

I like the idea of online dating, I don't want to spend hours and hours each week on women. Just looking for some casual fun.

(08-29-2018 09:37 AM)MaxMillion Wrote:  You've been handed a fleeting opportunity to raise your daughter YOUR WAY. This should take precedence over your seeming obsession with getting "back on the wagon". What, you haven't been sufficiently jerked around enough from the likes of your ex?

This won't intrude on the time I spend with my daughter or my side business. I'm aware of my weak points when it comes to women, something I should have addressed back in my teens- wish this site had been around in the late nineties! I'll have plenty of free time on holidays so will invest some of it into improving my game. Will be an interesting side project

Post: #10

It sounds like you have most things covered. I am the same age as you, with a young son who is 3. I am not divorced.

Thoughts:

Spending time with your daughter is paramount. I took my son when he was two and we stayed in a Rosewood hotel suite for a weekend. The hotel had a nanny service, so I was able to play a bit. Having the suite made sure I had my own space as well when I came back late. There was also a monitor that would work at the hotel rooftop if needed. We just hung at the pool, ate at the lobby lounge, looked at Christmas trees and hung out. Nap times I worked. So a city break was great, but three days is hardly three weeks.

For women, if you just want to bang with no relationship, its going to be a bit harder. I guess Tinder and online is more 'strings free' but who knows. I find being up front and honest from the start is no different then hiding behind an apps reputation.

You want to start by building a new social circle, and getting comfortable in uncomfortable situations. I used the 'talk to three strangers a day' system and it worked extremely well. By the end of the month, there are almost too many numbers and people that you end up starting to back off and rely on the work already done. You start by chatting the easy marks - employees, people on breaks, etc. But you quickly realize that in a city LOTS of people are lonely, and many are in the same position as you. Its a great feeling, and it always leads to sex.

Post: #11

You might also look into getting into an activity, hobby, or pastime that not only improves you, but builds your social circle. Perhaps a martial art like BJJ, boxing, judo or full contact karate, or something through a church, or ballroom dancing, or a cycling group (sounds like you can afford a good rode bike), or anything like that. If there was any hobby that you wanted to get into but put off because it took time away from your family now is a good time to get into it, but don't let it take too much time away from your daughter as others here have already stressed.

Post: #12

If you’re able to pull it off in terms of being able to show off something resembling a baller lifestyle (clothes, apartment, drinks at nice places...) I would recommend trying out SA for what you’re looking for. In any major UK city there should be opportunities abound.

Post: #13

You need to figure this one out for yourself but I recommend you don't take action when you're in an emotional state, chill until your judgement isn't clouded in emotion. You can avoid a lot of mistakes

Post: #14

Thanks fellas. I decided not to go away during my 2 week holiday and spent a lot of time with my daughter instead. I'm going to save going away with her until she is a bit older and can remember it, as travel isn't my one of my top priorities at present.

I decided to have some private blood tests done last week and it turns out my test level is 10.1 and free test is into the low range. Will look at getting re-tested in a month or so to make sure it wasn't a blip. May be contributing to my borderline apathy when it comes to actually pursuing/approaching women.