Post: #1

My high school sweetheart was, by all accounts, a unicorn.

A good Christian girl from a good and intact family, a virgin with every intention to stay that way until marriage, precocious, stellar grades, a love of reading, writing original poetry and short stories, and an ever-smiling ray of sunshine to those around her.

And, she was a thin, beautiful blonde with regal lips and curious blue eyes.

I broke up with her on account of she wouldn't put out, and we rekindled the old flame when we met again in college. The guy who wound up taking her cherry also impregnated her. She wound up hating him for whatever reasons, and becoming a single mom (although I think the father is still involved to some degree).

Around this same time she started to transform into a feminist. Maybe she'd always been one but she wasn't an outwardly political person up until then. The transformation changed the way she looked and dressed and spoke.

And when I visited my home town last year for the first time in 6 years, I tried to connect with her and meet to see how her life was going and she took it as a huge affront that I'd pop up out of nowhere and "act like nothing happened" and basically blew me off.

I guess I can't say I blame her in a certain sense. Because she had the makings of an honorable wife, a great mom, and a strong supportive companion. Women need leadership. Leadership that I might have provided but didn't because I went the easy, hedonistic route.

I realize I'm speculating on what might have happened had I been a strong, positive male influence in her life, and led us both in the direction of a strong traditional family life. It could have all gone to shit regardless.

But I can't help but think that many of the women who we end up resenting for their stupid ideas and attitudes are made by our own actions, often made in youthful ignorance, but ours all the same.

It pains me to think of that sweet, innocent girl so full of trust and intelligence, ready to give her whole life to a worthy man, having become a proud victim. If anything, it's not the patriarchy that failed her, but the utter lack of it.

The same was the case with my last girlfriend. She wasn't super bright but she could've been a good family woman with the right leadership too. And again I failed her there.

Obviously you can't go wifing up every girl to "save" her from becoming a jaded carousel rider or a card carrying feminist. But seeing an angel fall is something that can't be unseen...

Post: #2

It's a difficult question - essentially it seems you're asking a nature vs nurture question. Was she born to become this or did I play a part in helping her become this.

As with almost all nature vs nurture questions the answer is "both".

I learned a lesson when I was younger and even now I'm a late bloomer to this idea to say the least. I can't remember how I came upon this idea or why I was deficient in the first place. The lesson I learned eventually though is you cannot participate in this world and have no effect on it. Simple, but it's powerful; I don't mean that in a string theory or butterfly effect either - fortunately or unfortunately the effects of your existence and participation in this world are much more observable and the observable fascets are just the tip of the iceberg.

The short answer to the question in your title is unfortunately yes. You failed her. However, her father probably did as well, her mother, that man, and her community. Also there was some amount of predetermination in her genes. While you deserve some of the blame you don't deserve all of it and as cold as it sounds let this serve as a learning experience to you, any other way you choose to spin it probably won't be productive. In my opinion the weight and the amount of blame you deserve is relatively small knowing just what you wrote the reality though it's up to you to decide for yourself.

Post: #3

ALL my ex-girlfriends would have made decent wives. It's not hard to do when you have no alternative as in the olden days!

In contrast, NONE of them would have made decent wives now, which is why I am no longer with any of them.

Patriarchy works. Or rather worked until men became too feminized themselves to uphold it.

And why they became too feminized?

That is a long story my friends. A very long and above all complex story called civilization.

Post: #4

I paraphrased one of my favorite writers in the last couple of lines above. For more on that, check this: http://orgyofthewill.net/

Post: #5

I know two former Christian girls that went full feminazi.

Girl #1 was raised in a Christian home. Her father is a pastor. She's always had issues with food and rants on FB often about how "society" forced her to lose weight. She had eating disorders when she was younger. Then she found the body positivity movement. She started ranting about "food shaming". I thought that was the stupidest thing I have ever heard! She kept going on and on about how no food is bad and you can eat anything you want. When I called her on her BS about excessive sugar consumption not being a bad thing she had a hissy fit. She told me I was not allowed to post on her FB comments post since they were microaggression. Then she started posting pictures of her fat ass body, her cellulite on her legs, her ever growing doughy midsection hanging over her bikini. Of course her fellow feminist girlfriends would post "you go girl" responses to these pictures. Then she colored her hair purple. She has two boys that she is working hard to raise as male feminists. She dressed her oldest boy in this rather girly looking swim suit. Of course he was made fun of by two GIRLS at the local pool. Of course this lady had to lecture them. I feel sorry for her boys. They are going to get their asses kicked all through school.

Girl #2 I met through her husband. By all appearances they were a happy Christian couple. She talked like a conservative Christian woman. Very sweet and soft spoken, prayed a lot. Her parents are devout and strong Christians. One caveat here. She is pretty hot, an 8.5 at least. She worked at a very famous company in my area.

Then she met some guy at work high up in the food chain and started banging him. Hypergamy at work. She admitted to her husband about the affair and told him she was in love with the other guy. They separated. She continued the adultery until he dumped her ass. Suddenly, she shaved off most of her hair and started talking feminist B.S. From what she told she lost her softness and sweetness because all the male assholes at work kept hitting her. Then she was assaulted by her massage therapist. It went to court and the guy was found guilty. Apparently, he had done this before. This only made her even more feminist and a leftist. She now denounces Christianity as horrible and part of the patriarchy. Shes pro gay, pro abortion, pro hard core feminist. Last I heard she's getting a divorce. I feel really sad for her mom who spent years raising her in a Christian home and instilling Christian values. She married at 19 and started a family.

It's crazy how fast supposedly solid women can fall off the train. It's so sad.

Post: #6

(10-29-2018 12:36 AM)VincentVinturi Wrote:  I broke up with her on account of she wouldn't put out, and we rekindled the old flame when we met again in college. The guy who wound up taking her cherry also impregnated her. She wound up hating him for whatever reasons, and becoming a single mom (although I think the father is still involved to some degree).

That's on her, for getting knocked up by the wrong guy, and on him, for knocking up the wrong girl.

You had nothing to do with this. You broke up because your intentions didn't match.

Post: #7

(10-29-2018 12:36 AM)VincentVinturi Wrote:  Women need leadership. Leadership that I might have provided but didn't because I went the easy, hedonistic route.

Everyone needs leadership - women don't have a monopoly on this. Men need positive influences and roll models all the same. Society doesn't give us a pat on the back if we lack that, we're expected to go out and find it.

Whether we like it or not, women have agency in today's society. It's up to them to find leadership, or even better, find the self-discipline to become their own leader. We can't enforce a double standard and suggest that women are not capable of this. They are, we just give them a pass. Your girl didn't need you, she needed self-discipline, which she lacked.

(10-29-2018 12:36 AM)VincentVinturi Wrote:  It could have all gone to shit regardless.

If she's a single mom already, I'm guessing it probably would have.

(10-29-2018 12:36 AM)VincentVinturi Wrote:  But I can't help but think that many of the women who we end up resenting for their stupid ideas and attitudes are made by our own actions, often made in youthful ignorance, but ours all the same.

That's their choice. I know plenty of women that have stupid ideas and attitudes that grew up in a stable, two parent home.

Once you're an adult, you control who you are and what you do. Youthful ignorance serves its purpose in that it helps you make informed decisions going forward. If someone chooses not to learn from their prior mistakes (man or woman) what does it say about them?

(10-29-2018 12:36 AM)VincentVinturi Wrote:  It pains me to think of that sweet, innocent girl so full of trust and intelligence, ready to give her whole life to a worthy man, having become a proud victim. If anything, it's not the patriarchy that failed her, but the utter lack of it.

No, she failed herself. Poor decision making is independent of the patriarchy. There are plenty of women that don't go out and get pregnant right away and become single moms. While I agree that having good guidance in place makes it easier to not make mistakes, your EX had the choice and she made it.

(10-29-2018 12:36 AM)VincentVinturi Wrote:  The same was the case with my last girlfriend. She wasn't super bright but she
Obviously you can't go wifing up every girl to "save" her from becoming a jaded carousel rider or a card carrying feminist. But seeing an angel fall is something that can't be unseen...

Too true, I've seen it and it is really eye opening. I hear you man, it's not pretty. But be thankful you avoided it, and she's not your wife. That initially sweet, feminine girl could be your worst nightmare right now, on top of being your responsibility.

Don't beat yourself up my man, if anything you were the one who dodged the bullet. All you can do now is do the best job you can with the women you meet going forward and leave them a little bit better than when you found them.

Post: #8

You are white knighting against yourself.

Post: #9

I go to the mechanic when my car engine is fucked.
I call the plumber when my bathroom floods.
The fire department comes in when shit catches fire.

Feminism is a sexual trade union for women, to give them bargaining power in absence of a man. This is why they're either ugly or undesirable (single mom).

You didn't fail them, the market just did what the market does and found the supply for the demand.

She is a single mom and needs that bargaining power and 'empowerment'.

I look back on the women I have been with and the ones I considered to be wife material and none of them were, except one who was from high school.

Not even the last one because I operated from a point of limited knowledge. If I grow up in Burkina Faso and the richest man is worth $5000, I would think $6000 is a lot of money. You leave BF and you realize, perhaps its not.

It's all perspective so don't feel bad about the women you could have married... This leads to the 2nd major point.

This is all circumstantial. Life is such. She met the wrong man and made a bad decision and unfortunately has to live with that.

You could have been around, you could have been with her or you could have been dead. Life finds a way.

I enjoy a good romanticization of my lovers from the past but choose wisely what you feel responsible about.

This is why I promise them the now, not the future. I have had some severe things change up my life that I know I cannot make such promises. Sometimes, it works, sometimes it doesn't.

An acquaintance of mine was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis and he told his now fiancee before it happened. This is a combination of the now and the future. They are happy and he is driven to succeed but within the limitations of his disease.

Life can still be romantic and this is a decision you make in the now, not after the fact.

Good to see you posting in this forum again.

Post: #10

You didn't fail, society did.
I grew up in an evangelical Christian community (in Australia, where it was always much smaller and non-mainstream compared to in the USA). The devastation of that community in terms of marriage and relationships has been extreme. It's a bit sad, but maladjusted social experiments like that have to adapt or become extinct.

Post: #11

I had a fling with one of my college adjuncts, it was actually the first relationship she got serious about. She was so into me that she was patient while I spent Christmas with another woman, practically right under her nose, and then I had to drop her cold because we made dinner together one night and she told me she loved me. I had three other plates and ain't nobody got time for that. Was told it left her devastated.

At the time, she was into the relatively harmless "girl-power" brand of feminism, and she was horrified to find out she liked being spanked.

We never really talked again, but she still likes my stuff on social media. Yet, I've noticed her social media has gone full-bore rabid, especially with the #metoo outbreak. How we have to desexualize the breast, and other silliness.

I like to think I broke her.

Post: #12

(10-29-2018 10:10 AM)Investment Bro Wrote:  All you can do now is do the best job you can with the women you meet going forward and leave them a little bit better than when you found them.

Impossible. The best a girl will be is when she is a virgin. It's all downhill from there my man. That's why I pretty much exclusively hunt teenagers.

Post: #13

Your answer is in your writings.

More than likely she was radicalized in college, and her getting knocked up by the wrong guy was the catalyst.

NONE of this is your fault, you left because she wouldn't fuck you.

You just have to write her off as damaged goods and move on.

Post: #14

I have a personal policy not to knowingly screw up a "good woman". So, I don't bang virgin waiters and I don't waste the time of women who seem to earnestly want to have a traditional relationship or marriage (if they are under 30). Outside of that, it is all on them. That's what this sounds like. These girls messed up their own lives. You taking responsibility for that is like saying that a man who uses a cross-walk ten minutes before a car accident at that intersection is responsible for the accident.

The only women in your life that you should feel reasonable responsibility for are your daughters. It's on you as a father to make sure they don't end up as damaged goods. Regrettably, it seems that most men have this idea ass-backwards. Fathers almost universally drop the ball on raising good daughters. And, an entire army of white knights are ever at the ready to play Captain Save-A-Hoe. Don't join that army.

Post: #15

(10-29-2018 03:16 PM)Tiger Man Wrote:  Fathers almost universally drop the ball on raising good daughters.

You can't raise a good daughter today. It is impossible. It's practically illegal.

A good daughter means a virgin daughter until marriage. Even a second notch corrupts women, because it dispels whatever little amount of idealism they have, after which point, as I said, it's all downhill from there.