Post: #1

I am talking about more in social situations or just out and about but in general as well.

Certain I am not the only one here and maybe other forum members have been through this too. Every now and then in life, we all come across certain kinds of women who seem to just have it out for us even though we didn't really go out of their way to offend them. Most of the times it is former classmates and coworkers who we just had to deal with due to the situation we were in.

The kinds of women who seem to have certain guys they are targeting and trying to ruin for whatever reason. I rarely see good looking women do this to guys but I do see uglier and less than attractive women doing it quite often, they're also the most brash and vocal about it too.

It is also something I have to bring race into, I often find this with women of minority groups in the US as white women tend to be a lot more subtle about it from my experience (no racist). I find that me and my friends from minority groups always have to deal with this situation if we are going interracial, breaking a stereotype and not bothering with women of our own race. It isn't white guys giving us shit like media would propose but women of our own race, the irony.

A while ago I faced a situation where I was out at a bar with a friend running game not that long ago and I had this one former classmate from my college days, had a few classes with her as well being in a couple student organizations with her. She was a batshit crazy Hillary lover, always hungry for drama, always trying to stir the pot, target me or single me out at times and was an overall miserable person that I believe could have had mental issues. I made it clear I wanted nothing to do with her in college and avoided here whenever I got the chance but she would always try to come on to me to talk, say passive aggressive things and provoke me knowing that or at least get in the way.

We were having a great time with these two cute girls we had opened and out of nowhere, this girl approaches me. She tries to talk to me and I think I might have made the mistake here by acknowledging her, all I did was say "oh hey" and then turned to talk to the girls. Then she forces her way into the conversation, interrupts me with false rumors about me whenever I am trying to tell the girl I am gaming a story, and then tries to cut me off at every turn, it was so blatant to the point that I could barely get off a sentence.

It got to the point where I could barely get off sentences when talking to a girl I am trying to game and the girl herself walked away while crazy psycho was still following me around at the bar, like wtf.

It definitely ruined the mood of the night for me but was an eye opening experience that some women can get this crazy, obsessive and aggressive when trying to ruin a guy's night out of having an axe to grind.

I have done some reading into Robert Greene's work and dealing with toxic personalities in general but when they get combative or actively try to ruin you, I wonder what are some steps to take.

Now I get why they do this, I just want to know how a man can combat these sorts of situations.

What have you guys done in these sort of situations?

Post: #2

Combat it by not investing time or energy into it.

Post: #3

Jesus, not again.

How does the forum deal with drama-craving, over-analyzing "a beer is definitely not enough" starting threads about the most irrelevant, dead-horse necromancy issues?

How about politely but firmly tell her "excuse us, we are trying to have a conversation and you are interrupting"

But i guess that would rob him of the thrill of posting here

Post: #4

I cant imagine why but if certain negative inter-personal "situations" keep happening to a certain individual then it would behoove said individual to consider that the common denominator in those various dynamics is said individual.

OP at work making friends and influencing people

(11-27-2018 02:55 PM)a beer is enough Wrote:  ...Certain I am not the only one here ...

Im certain that you are

Post: #5

(11-27-2018 03:21 PM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  Jesus, not again.

How does the forum deal with drama-craving, over-analyzing "a beer is definitely not enough" starting threads about the most irrelevant, dead-horse necromancy issues?

How about politely but firmly tell her "excuse us, we are trying to have a conversation and you are interrupting"

But i guess that would rob him of the thrill of posting here

Chill the fuck out, I haven't post a thread in ages and this thread isn't even vaguely similar to any of my other threads. I mean what's the beef here? Did the race part not need to be mentioned or what?

You think I haven't tried with some women to be polite? You think with some women that would actually work given what their intentions are?

I had no idea I am this polarizing and some dudes are that ready to pounce at any given notice. Help me understand here, I am definitely not the only one who sees value in dealing with problematic people and women given the fact that the guy who founded this site has been a target of them.

Its been something I have wanted to say for a while now, what the hell happened to this forum recently?

Its not even this thread or the drama either, its everything from game to not being game related things. Even game related threads, somehow you have the push for LTRs and marriage crowd that wants to condemn guys for sleeping around. Travel threads where guys are being attacked for wanting to travel to meet women in a new country. Its like the bizarro world of everything Roosh stood for.

Its been said by others on recent threads where this forum has been changing between dudes getting a lot more jaded but this?

Post: #6

As others have said, the problem is yourself.

Have a read at "6. You get what you are." in this article: https://strengthbysonny.com/2018/11/06/2...about-game

If you are attracting toxic people (relationship-wise or otherwise), there are unresolved issues in your personality that is making them target you.

I have zero unresolved issues. I am mentally stable. I had a great childhood. I avoid those with personality disorders like a plague. And... surprise — I never have drama.

Post: #7

I am slowly starting to think about it like that Corsega, you're on point with your post. Looking back at my situation to that one girl, I realized that some of it was on me, I was not as developed years back as I am now and even then there are ways to go for me. At some point it slowly starts to become obvious that it isn't just the circumstances, you have a say in it too and I slowly learn that looking back at it. Been reading some great works recently especially by Robert Greene, its been insightful!

Still do believe a lot of guys can benefit from learning how to actively deal with the toxic kind of personalities but maybe this is not the thread or time for it.

I've been reflecting a bit in recent weeks with all that is going on in my life as well as what has been happening with me on this forum. It is to a point where I don't really feel that I have any value to add and I have overstayed my welcome. Even when I read the threads lately and a lot of whats going on I just cannot relate to the newer mentality anymore, it doesn't help me get to where I need to get to. I am becoming a drag on this forum which is moving in one direction while my life is wanting to move in another one, its a bad fit.

At this point every time I start a thread it is going to be a pointless back and forth bickering with no value added, not productive to anyone on here or me.

Thought about it for a while and it is best for me to move on from here. In just these past months, I have learned some great things from brilliant posters on here who have had great life experiences.

This is going to be my very last post on the forum, if there is a moderator or admin reading this, please ban or delete this account.

Thank you RVF!

Post: #8

I haven't had any of this type of thing happen since middle school (where everyone, boy and girl tend to be cunts)

Post: #9

Beer. You keep looking for big picture answers through little picture "problems".

Take some time and reread some of your posts in the prolific amount of threads you've started:

-Dealing with drama hungry women targeting or trying to ruin you socially.
a beer is enough


-Affect of culture and ethnic background on IOIs and how aggressive women are? ( 1 2 )
a beer is enough

-Outside of getting laid, how did bettering yourself improve your life? ( 1 2 )
a beer is enough


-Social circles that have a lot of good looking women discussion. ( 1 2 3 4 )
a beer is enough


-Making the most out of game while working a white collar or corporate job.
a beer is enough


-The social aspect of moving to a major city in your early 20s versus an older age
a beer is enough

-Opposites attract, better off going for girls of a different ethnic look?
a beer is enough

-In the western world, is hookup culture a young man's game? ( 1 2 )
a beer is enough


-Playing catchup with social life compared to your peers, wondering whats right.
a beer is enough


-Throwing away nice paying career in exchange for fun job when young.
a beer is enough

-Using social media to DHV and build status without coming off as fake.
a beer is enough

-Game as you get older and making transitions to adult life
a beer is enough

-What if a guy spent most of his time on bettering his life and not enough on game?
a beer is enough

-Getting more value out of your weekends.
a beer is enough

In every single one you would benefit from:

- A more positive mindset.

There's a saying they teach race car drivers "Think wall, Hit wall". The Hawaiians have a similar saying "Think shark, see shark".

Over and over you will see similar statements. Robert Greene, Tony Robbins (my personal favorite) the Dalai Lama, Eckhart Tolle, etc etc...they all teach the importance of inner dialogue.

Youre filtering too much for offence against you by others and prevention of "negatives". You need to turn up the gain on your positivity filter

Tangentially:

- A thicker skin.

Stop looking for approval from "them". There is no "them". Its human nature to see "others" as a collective. But guess what? They aren't.

Ever sit in an audience at a live show or concert? What "collective" vs the speaker / performer existed with you and the other people in the audience? Answer: none. You were an individual that just happened to be sitting in that audience. Their (other audience members) perspective and response was independent of yours.

But from the speaker or performer's perspective their level nervousness is directly proportional to the size of the audience. They get more nervous when speaking / playing to a crowd of say 100000 than they do say 1000. But why?

Answer: Its human nature.

But when logic is applied you see this is irrational. The performer (you in life in case youre not getting the metaphor) never addressing a collective but rather individual perspectives and eliciting individual responses

Tangentially: Chill the fuck out

-Understand that youre not as important to anyone else as you are to yourself. Ever see someone trip and fall or otherwise make an ass of themselves? Of course you have. Do you remember it. Probably not. Ever make an ass of yourself? ( Most rhetorical question Ive posted in 2018 homie ) Guess what? No one remembers

Bottom line is its admirable that you want to learn and self improve. But you dont need to start innumerable inane threads about micro aggressions against you to do it. In fact its counter productive

So...

Either start one " a beer is enough's social musings and inquiries: An IRT's quest to becoming Haji Hefner " thread (god forbid) or post your issues in the players lounge and get feedback on them

Post: #10

I think they are being a little hard on you OP. To your question, yes I have experienced some women who act out in ridiculous manners. It usually is from a situation where they perceived they were disrespected by me and felt justified in acting crazy. Their methods usually follow:

1. Talking bad about you and trying to turn the social circle against you whether it be the office, school or wherever. This includes trying to exclude you from social events so that you will feel ostracized.
2. They may choose to also sabotage you in various ways like what you were saying when you are meeting girls or just new people or trying to get promoted or running for some position. They will be looking to put an ax in your back especially if you appear unscathed by their prior ostracism.

For example, I remember my freshman year in college there was a girl that was really into me but I wasn't interested in dating my first semester because I wanted to get my grades in order so I ignored her interest. I didn't think she took the rejection so personally. But during my senior year, I rushed for a business fraternity and another friend told me she blackballed me. In between this entire time, we were friendly with each other as she dated a childhood friend of mine and she acted like there were no problems between us. But in reality she was still upset I had rejected her almost 4 years prior. Had I known she was so upset about it, I would have talked to her my freshman year but didn't realize how upset she really was.

Most of my other run-ins have been where I was basically putting a woman in her place and the woman wasn't used to being talked to in this way. This is a problem in our Western societies because it is becoming increasingly rare for men to stand up to women but also there is a tendency to believe the woman over the man in the aftermath. So it is hard to win even when you are right because women tend to control social group events and so you risk greater ostracism and consequences.

The moral of the story is to avoid arguments with women. Work in the fields and jobs where you have limited interaction with women. As Jordan Peterson points out in one of his talks, there are no rules for men to argue with women and so guys always risk tons more in these interactions. The reality is that women are far more advanced in these games because they have lived their lives without physical violence which guys will use more instead. So you will always be at a disadvantage especially from those women who engage in these retaliatory things because they are the kind that have a lot of practice at it.

If you are forced to deal with women, do your part to limit interactions and make a concerted effort to avoid getting sucked into the non business gossip. Also, make sure that your personal life is kept completely separate from your work life if women from work will be around.

All this can be harder in college because the personal life and school life often intersect. In that situation, you will be more vulnerable to retaliations and mean girl antics but at least you don't have to worry about missing out on job promotions and such. I am not sure what you can do except head them off at the pass by saying you are sorry after some time as passed from the other incident. Let them have their pathetic win knowing that you are trying to win the war. Perhaps they will still hold a grudge but it is clear even you keeping your distance from them wasn't enough to remove the retaliation.

With regard to the situation where the woman interrupted you, I would just say it is a good to see you but I am in the middle of something, let's talk later or something similar. I am a believer that regardless of what is happening around you, your focus should always be on the girl you are trying to game. If the other girl keeps on insisting, you could say to her, look, I can't talk to you right now and you are being rude. Then, escort the girl you are trying to game saying let's talk over here where we won't be disturbed.

Now, if you know that the retaliation girl is likely to pull this stunt on you at some place, you could simply tell the girl you are gaming that this other girl is a crazy woman and she might try to pull something. In this way, you basically poison the credibility of the retaliation girl and because women love drama, you will have ironically got the girl you are trying to game on your side as you are joined together against this outside force. If you frame this other girl as a jilted love interest, it can be a DHV for you. Your main objective in all of this is to not let her take your state to a negative place and you remain the fun, good emotions guy so you can be successful with the girls you are gaming.

Post: #11

I can consign that rule. I used to be neurotic and would attract neurotic girls, then get into neurotic interactions.

Now I'm healthy and even-keeled, and only ever get with girls who are healthy and even-keeled. The weird thing is neurotic girls, the kind I used to be into, are practically invisible to me, and I them.

Post: #12

(11-28-2018 12:06 AM)TIOT12 Wrote:  I think they are being a little hard on you OP. To your question, yes I have experienced some women who act out in ridiculous manners. It usually is from a situation where they perceived they were disrespected by me and felt justified in acting crazy. Their methods usually follow:

1. Talking bad about you and trying to turn the social circle against you whether it be the office, school or wherever. This includes trying to exclude you from social events so that you will feel ostracized.
2. They may choose to also sabotage you in various ways like what you were saying when you are meeting girls or just new people or trying to get promoted or running for some position. They will be looking to put an ax in your back especially if you appear unscathed by their prior ostracism.

I've experienced the above recently.
It was a woman whose husband had withdrawn from her and later separated and divorced her, while her daughter became a heroin addict. She was looking for positive attention , and when that attention was reduced or removed, became the scorned type woman looking for any attention, usually through creating drama and rallying people to her side to defend her.

She had a lot of the red flags I should have seen. A superiority complex, a physical ailment that she used for sympathy, a chip on her shoulder, and curly red hair.

Post: #13

(11-28-2018 03:13 PM)Fuck This Wrote:  She had a lot of the red flags I should have seen. A superiority complex, a physical ailment that she used for sympathy, a chip on her shoulder, and curly red hair.

It is hard to spot the red flags without experience. Honestly, it would do men a lot of good to learn about how to spot different red flags. Being able to identify and steer clear of these potential land mine women would save a lot of headaches. Even if you had to work with them, you could at least know that you must treat them differently and keep at arm's length. You could develop some helpful coping strategies. Instead, most guys walk into these situations unaware and have to deal with the fallout and only learn through experience. And really a lot of it isn't even the fault of men because there is a lot of brain washing that men and women are the same and that they are treated equally but of course this is not the way of the world.

Post: #14

(11-27-2018 09:52 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  In every single one you would benefit from:

- A more positive mindset.

Tangentially:

- A thicker skin.

I've personally found a lot of good actionable advice within the pages of Feeling Good by Dr. David Burns and I would recommend it. It is mainly about identifying negative thoughts in oneself and correcting the thought processes which produce them.