Post: #1

Hi Guys, this is my first thread so I would like to thank you in advance for reading.

Just looking for general tips, advice and support on getting back out there and finding another girl who would be 7-8 (similar to my ex).

I'm Australian and I moved to the London to be with my ex gf. Essentially she dumped me for a work colleague (which hurts pretty fucking bad).

Obviously she meant alot for me to move countries, at the same time I realise that she was definitely not the one for me. That being that she is disloyal, a liar and jealous, all things that would kill any relationship.

At this stage I'm looking to get back out there, In summary this is me
- Average in looks (maybe 6 or girls say 7) but I am very chatty and confident especially when I am out. I am Caucasian mixed and am semi ginger.
- Also I sing quite well and play at open mics which helps me meet people.
- My online dating game is non-existant, I find it extremely depressing especially since from what I have seen its rubbish.
- I live in Brixton hill which is close enough to some bars.

I am struggling to find girls interested in me and willing to date (they say yes when they are drunk but then ghost me when we text, even after we have kissed at a nightclub).

Things that I am looking at doing are:
- New wardrobe going for an Indie look.
- Travel to Eastern European countries where the girls are less stuck up.
- Improve my Instagram.
- Move to Shoreditch or Camden.
- Networking with girls trying to get girlfriends who can maybe set me up on dates.
- Reading "Bang"
- I also thought about trying a trip to the US and touring some small college towns.
- Starting daygame approaches at museums.

I know these plans are a bit all over the place. But my goal is just to get out there and realise that there are other women out there. As I keep feeling really down about my ex gf and it's quite tough.

Thanks if anyone responds to this.

Post: #2

I feel your pain. But instead take it has a life changing moment, and an eye opener.

All of the steps you mentioned seem good for your overall improvement. I would just trade the indie look for a cleaner and more confident one (dress shoes, sport coats, nice watch and belt..etc) , also maximize your looks and confidence by going to the gym or doing some combat sport. Seems you let yourself stay behind her, that's why probably you chased that skirt to the UK in the first place. Never let that happen again. Confidence is the key word here, but you will only recover it after a certain time, some steps in the right direction, and many other pussy banged.

Also don't fall for the first girl that gives you a warm shoulder.

Post: #3

Years ago, way back during my blue pills days, I moved to another city in another country for a girl. She didn't show up or respond to communication after I arrived. Just ghosted. This was not an internet thing. We had previously met in person in a different country. The city wasn't bad but I had no other reason to be there so I was just bored for 2 or 3 months until I was able to leave.

That's why I generally advise not dropping everything to move to a place you would otherwise have no business being in solely for a female who might not even feel the same way about you. It's also why I think it is usually wise to spin plates so as not to succumb to loneliness (like alcohol, it makes men do foolish things) and oneitis.

Rocha above is correct as well.

Post: #4

(02-11-2019 02:01 PM)Rocha Wrote:  Confidence is the key word here, but you will only recover it after a certain time, some steps in the right direction, and many other pussy banged.

Thanks Rocha, honestly it means alot speaking to other people about this. Could you recommend some other countries that might be worth visiting to meet girls?

I'm living in London at the moment and I am finding it quite difficult to close girls. I've got an Australian accent so I was hoping that would help but apparently not.

Post: #5

(02-11-2019 02:29 PM)Cman Wrote:  

(02-11-2019 02:01 PM)Rocha Wrote:  Confidence is the key word here, but you will only recover it after a certain time, some steps in the right direction, and many other pussy banged.

Thanks Rocha, honestly it means alot speaking to other people about this. Could you recommend some other countries that might be worth visiting to meet girls?

I'm living in London at the moment and I am finding it quite difficult to close girls. I've got an Australian accent so I was hoping that would help but apparently not.

I can recommend Ukraine to make you a more rugged and experienced guy in regards to women, you will have the chance to interact with a lot of beautiful women that you would not have normally in the UK or Australia.

Now banging them is another story... they can be ruthless mofos... But you will gain experience, and with time will feel comfortable around pretty women, and no one could take that from you. Ukraine is tough though.

Just a note that in Europe I don't see a place where your accent would help you..maybe in US or Asia the Australian accent can be a thing..

Post: #6

(02-11-2019 02:38 PM)Rocha Wrote:  Thanks Rocha, honestly it means alot speaking to other people about this. Could you recommend some other countries that might be worth visiting to meet girls?

I'm living in London at the moment and I am finding it quite difficult to close girls. I've got an Australian accent so I was hoping that would help but apparently not.

I can recommend Ukraine to make you a more rugged and experienced guy in regards to women....

Now banging them is another story... they can be ruthless mofos... But you will gain experience...

Just a note that in Europe I don't see a place where your accent would help you..maybe in US or Asia the Australian accent can be a thing..
[/quote]

Ahhh okay true. I've heard wonderful stories about the Ukraine but at the moment I am really looking for a confidence boost. I was thinking about doing some smaller college cities in the US, where I hoped I would get a +1 or +2 to my attractiveness and to get me back in the game.

Post: #7

Fuck bro, i can feel your pain! May that hoe be unhappy for the rest of her life!

(02-11-2019 01:31 PM)Cman Wrote:  I realise that she was definitely not the one for me. That being that she is disloyal, a liar and jealous, all things that would kill any relationship.

Disloyal? She cheated on you before?

(02-11-2019 01:31 PM)Cman Wrote:  - Average in looks (maybe 6 or girls say 7)
- My online dating game is non-existant, I find it extremely depressing especially since from what I have seen its rubbish.

This doesn't fit. If you are a real 6/7 out of 10 you should do good online.

What you can do? Decide where you want to live, work on your game, physical/facial aesthetics and your general life/career + try to bang a friend of her.

Post: #8

How old are you? If you are in your 20's or early 30's focus on your purpose and you-consider this a learning experience.

Your situation is actually very common, most men who modify their lives to put their wife or girlfriend first suffer this fate. Do not feel bad-You did not do anything that another man has not done before. I know a dude from college who put his life on hold to support his girlfriend through medical school-He moved to Atlanta, put off Law School and got a job to support her-She dumped him for a colleague 2 months after graduation. He lost 5 years of his career plus the thousands of dollars he spent "making sure her loans were not out of control" because he thought they were building a life together. It can always be worse, try to have perspective.

I know it hurts now but you learned a valuable lesson-you come first, never the woman.

Post: #9

@Davinator

Well maybe I'm a 6, definitely not pretty. At the same time London is probably one of the worst places in the world to be an average looking Caucasian male, especially for online dating like tinder etc.

She started talking to a guy, which I felt helped her dump me. They weren't seeing eachother but she definitely lined him up.

@Atlanta Man
I just turned 25, logically I know I'm young and still have soo much to do and see but I'm still hurt. Your soo right, the annoying thing is I have seen it before aswell but emotions cloud our judgement. 100% I have learn't my lesson and at this point I'm just trying to make lemonade from my shitty ? lemons haha.

Thanks guys, I love hearing your support and I love this forum.

Post: #10

(02-11-2019 03:43 PM)Cman Wrote:  @Davinator

Well maybe I'm a 6, definitely not pretty. At the same time London is probably one of the worst places in the world to be an average looking Caucasian male, especially for online dating like tinder etc.

She started talking to a guy, which I felt helped her dump me. They weren't seeing eachother but she definitely lined him up.

@Atlanta Man
I just turned 25, logically I know I'm young and still have soo much to do and see but I'm still hurt. Your soo right, the annoying thing is I have seen it before aswell but emotions cloud our judgement. 100% I have learn't my lesson and at this point I'm just trying to make lemonade from my shitty ? lemons haha.

Thanks guys, I love hearing your support and I love this forum.

only 25? You are golden!!!! Travel, get some new pussy, and focus on you!

This is just a stepping stone,it hurts but you shall move past it!

Pro Tip: Hit the gym like it is a new religion and you are a zealous convert-it will make a difference. Try not to be too down on yourself-Trust me , focus on you for the next 5 years and become the best version of you possible. You will look back on this time in your life and wonder why it all seemed to matter so much.

Post: #11

I would have thought an Aussie would have no problems in the UK. Chicks dig Ozzie accents and watch Neighbours and Home & Away. You need to get out of London there are hardly any Brits left in it now anyway, so foreign accents are not a novelty there, everyone there is a foriegner now. Try picking up in a town outside London, go north. It's cheaper up north too

Post: #12

(02-11-2019 05:12 PM)fmman Wrote:  I would have thought an Aussie would have no problems in the UK. Chicks dig Ozzie accents and watch Neighbours and Home & Away. You need to get out of London.

Thanks for the reply fmman, I was planning on doing some trips up to Manchester or Leeds. Do you think it's okay to go by myself and try and meet girls?

Some other people have said on this forum even the smaller 2nd tier cities (maybe like Hull or something) would be good to visit to capitalise on a Australian accent.

Post: #13

Agree with everything above.

It's going to be difficult to +1 in London if you are average and I'm guessing have a limited social circle. I think Britain is one of the worst for women. Only somewhere like Denmark could be worse. My reception is you're much better looking for working-class girls; others would recommend FOBs like university girls or au pairs.

I would work on yourself. The look, the gym, the mind. Based on what you have written, I think you would benefit from reading the book Models by Mark Manson. It seems to fit your personality more. And the money. If you can get yourself together in 5+ years and want to be serious again. You can go abroad and get a 1/2+. You won't miss out on much if you can get your self in order. Women in EE, LatAm, SEA etc are good with age gaps. I was just talking with a Venezolano. She is 22 and she said she is looking for someone around her age. I said I'm probably too old for her then. She says she is looking for a guy about 13 years older than her. Takes you back from a Western perspective, but you got to remember girls here that age are generally happy with someone twice your age.

You'll be young for a long time, but so long as you focus on yourself and not a woman.

Post: #14

God damn.

Post: #15

I am the same age and I believe you will just laugh about it in few years. Be glad, that she showed up herself so soon. Focus on yourself, the last thing you need right now is another bitch in your life.

Post: #16

(02-11-2019 08:52 PM)gework Wrote:  Agree with everything above.

It's going to be difficult to +1 in London if you are average and I'm guessing have a limited social circle. I think Britain is one of the worst for women. Only somewhere like Denmark could be worse. My reception is you're much better looking for working-class girls; others would recommend FOBs like university girls or au pairs.

I would work on yourself. The look, the gym, the mind. Based on what you have written, I think you would benefit from reading the book Models by Mark Manson. It seems to fit your personality more. And the money. If you can get yourself together in 5+ years and want to be serious again. You can go abroad and get a 1/2+.

Totally agree about Britain and Denmark (I lived in Denmark before).

gework, I saw that your from the UK and have been to the US. I was thinking about trying to move there (I work in tech), and potentially being able to capitalise on having an Australian/British accent.

Do you have any thoughts on this?

Thanks

Post: #17

(02-11-2019 02:29 PM)Cman Wrote:  I'm living in London at the moment and I am finding it quite difficult to close girls. I've got an Australian accent so I was hoping that would help but apparently not.

Everyone knows Aussie and Kiwis in London are broke, girls want guys with money.

Post: #18

(02-11-2019 05:28 PM)Cman Wrote:  

(02-11-2019 05:12 PM)fmman Wrote:  I would have thought an Aussie would have no problems in the UK. Chicks dig Ozzie accents and watch Neighbours and Home & Away. You need to get out of London.

Thanks for the reply fmman, I was planning on doing some trips up to Manchester or Leeds. Do you think it's okay to go by myself and try and meet girls?

Some other people have said on this forum even the smaller 2nd tier cities (maybe like Hull or something) would be good to visit to capitalise on a Australian accent.

Hull is not a city. It is a town, yes the smaller towns you will be a novelty in. But Hull is a bit grim. Try anywhere in Yorkshire or even Wales, girls are friendly there if you aren't English. Don't go south of London, girls are posh and stuck up. Also too expensive to live there.

You can easily meet girls saying you are here exploring the place with a view to moving here stuff like that, where is the so and so etc, and work your usual techniques with it

Post: #19

2nd tier cities are Chester, Leeds. Cardiff, Edinburgh, York.

Hull is depressing

Post: #20

Moving for the sole purpose of being with a girl both with those I know personally and here on rvf, never seems to go well.

Post: #21

I was stupid enough to do this in the past and can confirm. It’s going to end in her breaking your heart. Just break hers first and tell her to go fuck herself.

Post: #22

I wish I had read Models by Mark Ranson a couple of months ago. I did meet a really nice Ukrainian girl who wants to go out for dinner, hopefully it turns into something special.

Thank you soo much guys for your support.

Post: #23

Its moments like these that make you take the red pill... see it as a a start to a new chapter in your life. Maybe this is what you needed to be on the right track...

As a Londoner, I can confirm that this is a tough city for dating. Up north is a lot better if you want a better chance with good looking English birds.

A lot of good advice has already been given, hit the gym, read books, join salsa classes, join a langauge class (Spanish). Join crossfit classes (women + fitness). All of these things will improve SMV.

Practice your new SMV and experiment with game abroad, go to EE, East Africa, Latin America and the states. Take some solid instagram quality holiday pics as these will help your online profile and with tinder matches. I've noticed a drastic increase in my tinder results from my insane holiday pictures or stories. Exposure to a wide variety of women and cultures will help you realise what type of women you'd settle with when your a bit older.

Post: #24

(02-17-2019 07:02 PM)khalidkcl Wrote:  Its moments like these that make you take the red pill... see it as a a start to a new chapter in your life. Maybe this is what you needed to be on the right track...

As a Londoner, I can confirm that this is a tough city for dating. Up north is a lot better if you want a better chance with good looking English birds.

Thanks Khalid. To be honest I had a chat with an older colleague from work and he advised that I travel the world and bit more, see more girls before getting in a LTR. Logically I knew, that me and my ex were not ready for anything getting married over. I am still battling with my emotions and have been focusing my energy on networking with people I meet and also writing songs (I sing and play at open mic nights).

I saw you were planning a trip to the states, I was also considering this as at the end of the day, the girls I really like are ones who can hold a conversation. In your experience the Anglo accent helps quite a bit correct ?

Thanks again