Post: #1

So its been about 9 months since I started this game adventure and I am noticing a key sticking point. I am finding it difficult to approach really good looking women, like 8s and 9s, especially during the day, even during the night. Whenever I see one, I always come up with excuses not to approach her, and I sometimes actively try to avoid them though I am attracted to them.

But whenever I see an average girls and 7s, I approach with little anxiety and with confidence. I think it boils down to some inner game issues, as I sometimes think that the woman has so much options of higher smv dudes that I won't cut it. For this reason, I tend to assume that they will be uptight and stuck up.

How do you guys approach very attractive women, as in, what inner game concepts or practices do you guys use to overcome such a limiting behavior? I need to overcome this because one of my goals in this game adventure is to have a sexual experience with a woman who is a 8 or a 9. Any advice would be appreciated.

Post: #2

Its just fear.

What are you afraid of?

Answer: Failing and not fucking her

Youre already doing the not fucking her and not approaching is a worse failure....so what do have to lose?

Two keys with a truly beautiful woman: Approach with confidence and hold eye contact.

Do that and youre already ahead of 99% of the chodes she gets hit on by

Post: #3

The reason we have higher Approach Anxiety when approaching hot girls is that a rejection from a hotty stings far more than one from a notty.

Some suggestions from my experience. But I have to warn you, they are not quick fixes and require work from your side...

1) Understand that rejections are normal: I know some guys who are really good at game and they all tell me that they still get rejected (even though at a lesser rate). Humans in general – and woman in particular – are pretty unpredictable and cannot be approach like a computer program that can be hacked. She might reject you for a zillion reasons and most likely, that reason has nothing to do with you;

2) Desensitize from rejection: While the first point is theory, this can only be done with practice. You must approach, and in doing so, you will get rejections. Each rejection stings, especially harsh ones from hotties. I once have been yelled at by HB 8 in a public square. I was depressed and couldn’t do a single approach for a week. But believe me, once you have been through this, you brush a ‘nicer’ rejection away quite easily;

3) Sleep with hotter woman. At first, this sounds like a catch-22. How can you sleep with hotter woman if you have troubles approaching them? However, if you do game for years, you will notice that the hotness of woman you sleep with will gradually increase. That kind of ‘demystifies’ hotter girls and you start seeing them for what they are: humans like you and I.

Post: #4

^

#3 all day. When you bang hotter women, your confidence will be really high, and your desire for quality will intensify. You will no longer settle for a mediocre woman, your tastes have been amplified and battle tested due to your results.

You will then become desensitized to women rejecting you as you know you can do better than the woman who rejected you in the first place.

Experience will only help you in our progress.

Post: #5

Unless you’re a psychopath/sociopath or your perveived smv is greater than/equal to the woman in question, then your anxiety is completely rational.

Bolstering your inner game will only get you so far, particularly if it’s baseless.

Instead, work on increasing your smv - which can take on a number of forms depending on the type of women you want to bed.

Post: #6

It's just takes some experience and a change in mindset.

For me right now, I no longer daygame approach girls in the ~6 range. If they reject me then it feels bad and I start to question myself. If I approach a hot girl and get rejected, then I don't feel bad at all and I feel proud for taking the chance.

Post: #7

I suffer a little form this and tend to only approach girls I think are kind of 'in my league'. I found my balls last night and approached 2 or 3 absolute worldies. All of them were instant rejectctions and I don't think I done anything 'wrong' (I just wasn't their type), but I'm gonna try to carry on this trend for a while. Especially as I travel to Budapest on Monday!

Post: #8

I don't think the "hotness" is the only factor in determining the league.
I'll give you two examples based on my case
Two HB7: one she grew up in the country side and like guys driving Pickup trucks while the other one is city girl and her sister is dating an Arab guy.
I am Arab, by the way
Which one do you think you will be warmer to my approach ? The second one , but I'll never know until I approach.

Post: #9

(03-29-2019 06:04 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  Its just fear.

What are you afraid of?

Answer: Failing and not fucking her

Youre already doing the not fucking her and not approaching is a worse failure....so what do have to lose?

Two keys with a truly beautiful woman: Approach with confidence and hold eye contact.

Do that and youre already ahead of 99% of the chodes she gets hit on by

The big fish are always the funnest to try to pull in.

Most of the time they are caught off guard a bit and are friendly. Though to get a actual number/text back/date is a real challenge.

Or (for me personally) you get the most eventful rejections you will ever get.

The most eventful ones for me come from the 9s and 10s.

I've been yelled at a library before. Sometimes they just walk away and don't acknowledge my existence when I'm clearly talking to them.

It's almost never even keel rejections, which you will get from 6s, 7s, 8s, etc.

Post: #10

Stop trying to overcome it.

Act anyway. Emotions don't control you. It's totally fine to be nervous when you approach. The point is that you just do it anyway

Post: #11

Approach her like she is a fat, ugly 3 at best.

You got nothing to lose!

Post: #12

Just because she's pretty, it doesn't mean she's a good human being. In fact, many pretty girls can be ruthless when it comes to furthering their economic and child provisioning prosperity. Ask any divorced man, how much his sweetheart turned to no holds barred witch. They can be very sweet or very manipulate when it suits them. Most men overvalue pussy which actually occludes clear thinking. She's just a pretty girl who won genetic lottery, and knows little about the world, wrapped in a soft bubble of enablers making her life easy. Any man who dated a pretty, of rich parents, living in a Western country, girl, can attest to that - these girls are pretty much useless at anything but popping out kids. Desensitize yourself and understand, most of pretty girls have very thin shells on the outside, once you pierce through, then there is often plenty void filled with insecurities. She's just a human being trying to get by, having it easier than most in many areas, but psychologically they aren't tough - they know their lives and accomplishments stem from a veneer of attractive appearance. Frankly, many a little girls inside trying to pose as experienced, independent and accomplished despite their looks, whereas mostly it isn't the case.

Post: #13

I have trouble with this. I have to constantly remind myself that women are insecure. Especially the house hot ones. I was once sitting right next to a hottie at a bar, and casually asked her 'so what's your story.' She looked at me kinda confused, and said 'you know, I don't really have a story' She never had to because of her looks. I bet she realized that and became insecure.

Getting approached by a confident man seems to trigger a lot of these insecurities. You don't even have to neg them.

Post: #14

I generally have this mindset that body isn't all and that beautiness is in the personality the most. Body and tits isn't everything on life as these are way too common: a good personality and a charming character are what I need. Of course that doesn't mean I'll only go for nice ugly girls, but rather for nice beautiful girls only as I wouldn't tolerate a beautiful woman with a bad character.

Approach her without fear and if she rejects you why will you mind when there are millions of women even more beautiful than her on the world that would die for you.

Generally you shouldn't really pay that much attention to her looks and just avoid even thinking about them when you begin to game her, honestly. A good abundance mentality is shown when you don't pay attention to her looks and you look for something more than that.

Post: #15

This is pretty basic. Women get high value men with looks. Men get hot women with a combination of things.

status, confidence, luck, logistics, looks, money, expertise, trajectory...

None of these are easy.

Fortunately there's a positive feedback loop...momentum.

Get women who are marginally hotter, and you'll realize these slightly hotter chicks are at least as insecure as the less hot chicks. Which might lead to more money. Which might lead to more confidence. Having a trajectory (gym, career, etc) might give you confidence which leads to money. Expertise might lead to a hotter chick, which might lead to more confidence. Luck generally happens when you're gittin' after it, which might give you status that leads to confidence.

Don't stop. Keep moving ahead. Keep the momentum. Beware of momentum killers.

Post: #16

(03-29-2019 06:04 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  Its just fear.

What are you afraid of?

Answer: Failing and not fucking her

You're already doing the not fucking her and not approaching is a worse failure....so what do have to lose?

Two keys with a truly beautiful woman: Approach with confidence and hold eye contact.

Do that and youre already ahead of 99% of the chodes she gets hit on by

How women are SO much fun to get rejected by. Sometimes they let you down easy (and man a beautiful smile while she is saying no thanks is nice), sometimes they are a fucking bitch (you don't want to hang out with a bitch anyway), and sometimes, just sometimes they are intrigued and then you're in.

I'm not saying you'll land many, but fuck many, cast that lure! Keep working on getting the best bait, but don't stop fishing!

Post: #17

There is no concept that will magically give you the "confidence" to approach "8s and 9s"

I'm sure you were afraid of approaching "average girls and 7s" at one point

But you probably did it over and over and realized that you could do it (confidence from experience)

Same thing in this case. Just do it, eventually good results come, and that's where you get the "confidence"

Just like learning to ride a bike. Fall down a few times, next thing you know you're riding down the block EZ

Post: #18

I had a funny experience accidentally talking up a bloated 6 at a bar last weekend. She happened to be next to me and I didn't even look at her before I opened my mouth and made a comment about the bad service. When we locked eyes I'm sure she could sense my disappointment but I tried to be polite. After I walked away and was eyeing up more attractive girls she came back at me with, "Is that all you're tipping? I showed those hot girls over there that you're a bad tipper".

Yep - she looked at my bill. I called her a weirdo and shut her out.

I did a few more approaches with 8s and 9s which went much better. This is a common theme and good motivation for approaching hotter girls - their personalities are usually better and they don't have the weight (no pun) of iron-clad self-defense mechanisms helping them to "avoid rejection".

With hotter girls, it also helps to train yourself to begin talking before you begin thinking. This is why you should get in the habit of talking to people everywhere - yes, even hambeasts and other dudes. Your flow is so much better if you're in the habit of talking to strangers without hesitation.

Nothing kills my chances for approaching a girl I find attractive than thinking about it. Train yourself to act before you think.

Post: #19

I had a couple exes who were high quality girls, 8s. I ended up dumping them, for reasons of their personalities, fit etc,.

I would suggest that you remind yourself that even though she is hot, you might end up dumping her one day. It keeps it in perspective.
But hard to mentally cross that hurdle young, when you think that just because a girl is smoking hot, you fill all the parts you don't know about her with projections of how you imagine her - halo effect.

Also, keep it in perspective that sometimes 5s and 6s shut you down, so don't take it any harder with a 9.

Focus on them just being people who want to have real interactions like the rest of us. I actually liked Mark Mansons breakdown of 10s in his old book 'Models'.

Post: #20

This Fight or Flight pathway will always be there my Man... especially around women who are the "Best of the Best"! Only way around that is to have momentum built by the time this 9 rolls around in order for the anxiety to not cripple you... otherwise it will... without fault.

You have to find out what builds unstoppable momentum for you... and stick to that routine. As a Daygamer, my routine was to be talking outside in a crowded place. As long as I did that, I was Golden! My Brain could subdue any jolt of anxiety. Even having Fake cell phone conversations did the Trick... so literally anything could work!

Post: #21

And if you don't know what to say, just say, "Hi".

Maybe introduce yourself. It doesn't have to be complicated. Hot women get hit on less than you think.

G

Post: #22

This is counter intuitive but I think "Hi" works better for guys with a lot of experience with cold approach. For new guys it's basically driving up to a cliff, looking over the edge and seeing an unknown chasm. It's better to come in with a purpose and something observational. "Hi" puts the ball too much in a girl's court and makes the interaction way too unpredictable. Some dudes can fly with this, but someone new needs more structure.

I think the best openers are the observational thoughts already in your head about wherever you are, or questions that don't lead to a yes/no response.

Post: #23

This is something worth exploring: at home I find it difficult to approach any girl, much less >8 quality. When on holiday abroad, I just throw caution to the wind and go for it. In Italy I spotted a Portuguese girl who could have easily been a model here (a 9 in my book, but I like their skin tone), taking pictures at a scenic spot. Made some generic contextual opener about whether she was getting a good picture, then asked where she was from, tried some Portuguese words. She excused herself after a minute or two and that was the end of that. No harm done.

I don't know anybody there, nobody knows me. In my mind, it's totally risk-free. Maybe that makes it easier. But it's really rather stupid. It wouldn't be different in my own city. It's not like people would film me approaching and failing and show it to my friends or something. Even if they did, so what? Is it embarrassing to be seen going for the best? I've had a few failed approaches and no successes with this level of women so far, but their amount doesn't even come close to the number of times I didn't bother at all because I thought the girl in question would be "out of my league". But is this really true?

None of the top-quality women I did approach ever gave me a hard time or shot me down in a mean-spirited way. Again, even if they did, so what? What is she going to do? Yell? Call the police? Summon an undead army of 30 white knights? I must read A Guide to Rational Living again.

This and other experiences have made me reconsider how to deal with any approach anxiety. Too often, I think it's easier to shoot for the 5-7 range, but chicks like that often consider themselves 8s or 9s and will act that way, probably having a little black book full of beta orbiters by now. At the 8-10 range, the dynamic changes because the cowards and bottom-feeders don't have the balls to approach them at all. There is a degree of dishonesty involved here. These guys try to ogle these women "discreetly", and the women pretend not to notice that they're being stared at by guys who are too afraid to even look them in the eye. So if you approach directly and fail, it's still not going to be some soul-crushing rejection (and even if it was, it's just the words of a woman - take it for what it's worth). More often than not, at least the effort will be recognised.

One thing I've set my mind on for this year is to do more day-time approaches in general, but especially in the >8 range. I believe it is within my ability to land at least one, and in any case the attempt won't hurt me unless I let it. So while I don't have the immediate solution to the OP's question, thinking about it does spur me into action.

Post: #24

(04-14-2019 12:20 PM)Alpone Wrote:  This is counter intuitive but I think "Hi" works better for guys with a lot of experience with cold approach. For new guys it's basically driving up to a cliff, looking over the edge and seeing an unknown chasm. It's better to come in with a purpose and something observational. "Hi" puts the ball too much in a girl's court and makes the interaction way too unpredictable. Some dudes can fly with this, but someone new needs more structure.

I think the best openers are the observational thoughts already in your head about wherever you are, or questions that don't lead to a yes/no response.

Yeah, i'm not a massive fun of the 'just say hi' advice. It's certainly better than not opening at all, but once you've said 'hi', you are usually in the exact same position as you were, but you are now slowly losing value if you aren't able to quickly transition into something that doesn't bore her or make you look stranger or whatever!
'Hi' tends to work OK for me abroad when i'm hitting on social people such as Americans as they tend to say 'hi' back and introduce themselves and it all feels more natural, but here in the UK, 'hi' tends to be met with a look of utter confusion lol. We don't tend to talk to strangers much here!

So I tend to think openers should really be 'conversation' starters. My best sets are always when my 'open' is actually a conversation starter. One that is kind of relevant to her. Usually this can't really be planned and tends to rely on luck (something interesting happening in that moment like a drunk guy falling over next to her in a bar which I can comment on and tease her about how she'll be in that sort of state later on or something!)

Or even certain 'canned' openers can lend themselves too an actual 'conversation' as opposed to simply making her aware of your presence! (opening). For example, I got laid on my first ever cold approach a few years back after using an opener I read in a PUA book and opened a 2-set by pretending to be the targets blind date. So rather than some awkward 'Hi!!' (which she semi-ignores) and then being like ''Soooo.....what's your name??'' we were in an instant 'roleplay' and the whole interaction went as smooth as you could imagine lol

SO I never get bored of 'how to Open' threads. Threads about how best to transition after an open etc. I think it maybe doesn't get enough attention. ESPECIALLY not that the definition of 'game' seems to have changed in recent years to much more of a 'numbers game' /'what you say doesn't matter' kind of vibe. Like, I do agree with that to some extent, but I still think verbals are important in terms of getting them 'maybe girls'

Post: #25

Walk up to them confidently, look them in the eye, and say, 'Hi, my name is XYZ' and take it from there.

If you can't hold a conversation with a girl that's different from not being able to *approach* a pretty girl.

Hot girls are just as normal as you are and probably wayyyy more insecure.