Post: #51

If anyone has anything to say, anything at all, I'm all ears. I need to keep my mind busy.

Post: #52

How much sleep did you get last night?

Post: #53

(04-22-2019 06:43 AM)Zep Wrote:  How much sleep did you get last night?

Actually I slept quite well. I felt tired most of yesterday, and although I woke up earlier than usual today, I feel slightly tired now, but not that bad. I expected to have a bad dream but I think I had a pleasant one although I can't remember it. I actually woke up laughing at something stupid.

Post: #54

(04-22-2019 06:50 AM)Vladimir Poontang Wrote:  

(04-22-2019 06:43 AM)Zep Wrote:  How much sleep did you get last night?

Actually I slept quite well. I felt tired most of yesterday, and although I woke up earlier than usual today, I feel slightly tired now, but not that bad. I expected to have a bad dream but I think I had a pleasant one although I can't remember it. I actually woke up laughing at something stupid.

Okay good. Lack of sleep is not good.

Who is the first person you are planning to meet with today?

Post: #55

(04-22-2019 07:21 AM)Zep Wrote:  

(04-22-2019 06:50 AM)Vladimir Poontang Wrote:  

(04-22-2019 06:43 AM)Zep Wrote:  How much sleep did you get last night?

Actually I slept quite well. I felt tired most of yesterday, and although I woke up earlier than usual today, I feel slightly tired now, but not that bad. I expected to have a bad dream but I think I had a pleasant one although I can't remember it. I actually woke up laughing at something stupid.

Okay good. Lack of sleep is not good.

Who is the first person you are planning to meet with today?

No one. But I'm having a chat with a friend on facebook, and later I'll be on the phone with someone else. I'm ok on my own. I just want to know that I can handle being on my own because that's how it is most of the time. I like my own company.

Post: #56

(04-22-2019 07:47 AM)Vladimir Poontang Wrote:  

(04-22-2019 07:21 AM)Zep Wrote:  

(04-22-2019 06:50 AM)Vladimir Poontang Wrote:  

(04-22-2019 06:43 AM)Zep Wrote:  How much sleep did you get last night?

Actually I slept quite well. I felt tired most of yesterday, and although I woke up earlier than usual today, I feel slightly tired now, but not that bad. I expected to have a bad dream but I think I had a pleasant one although I can't remember it. I actually woke up laughing at something stupid.

Okay good. Lack of sleep is not good.

Who is the first person you are planning to meet with today?

No one. But I'm having a chat with a friend on facebook, and later I'll be on the phone with someone else. I'm ok on my own. I just want to know that I can handle being on my own because that's how it is most of the time. I like my own company.

Okay, do keep in mind that if, for whatever reason, you start to lose it, there are crisis lines available (if you live in a big city), point being, have *someone* to call if you suddenly go south.

Be well Vlad.

Post: #57

I am sorry for your loss.

Bear in mind that you are in shock right now and that your mind will be racing in different directions at once.

Just hold on.. thats all.. It will change.

If you can try and generate some kindness for you and your loved ones then do.

But whatever you feel is just.. how you feel right now.

Post: #58

Sorry for your loss VP. A few years back I arrived at my brothers apartment to find him dead on the floor. That image has never left my mind. You will get over this! Love the one's in your life now and hold on. Acceptance is the hard part once you achieve that you will recover.

Post: #59

(04-22-2019 03:35 PM)Uzisuicide Wrote:  Sorry for your loss VP. A few years back I arrived at my brothers apartment to find him dead on the floor. That image has never left my mind. You will get over this! Love the one's in your life now and hold on. Acceptance is the hard part once you achieve that you will recover.

Oh no I'm sorry to hear that. Yes, acceptance. Not an easy word to erm, accept. You want to stay in control but you can't so you just have to let things be. It's very out of character for me to agree with this but I have to. Acceptance is so liberating even though it feels so unnatural. I get the feeling that acceptance can open doors, unseen ones. I'm really determined to make sure that every lesson that I can learn from this gets learned. I'm waiting for some answers from the genius who made this all happen but I guess He's got His timeline. By the way your username is quite apt to my situation. I smiled when I saw you lurking. All the best.

Post: #60

Vlad,

Sorry for your loss. You and your mom and family are in my prayers. It's so difficult to deal with things like this, but I do think that you can find strength in God in this current life, and that you can take comfort that your sister is with God, and you will be with her and your other loved ones in eternity. Having the prayers of others is a source of strength and comfort as well. God's blessings to you in this time of loss.

Post: #61

(04-22-2019 04:48 PM)RoastBeefCurtains4Me Wrote:  Vlad,

Sorry for your loss. You and your mom and family are in my prayers. It's so difficult to deal with things like this, but I do think that you can find strength in God in this current life, and that you can take comfort that your sister is with God, and you will be with her and your other loved ones in eternity. Having the prayers of others is a source of strength and comfort as well. God's blessings to you in this time of loss.

Yes it feels nice when someone says that they're praying for me. I feel like I'm being lifted. Good stuff. Keep the good thoughts coming, I'm refreshing this thread very often.

Post: #62

When relatives or pets in my family have passed away we've sat down together and tried to share funny stories and memories about the individual that passed away that was just so typical for describing what kind of individual they were and I remember that as being pretty helpful in the first initial period where I was just shocked. And that's probably what they would have wanted anyway, right? If you pass away I think you would rather have your loved ones share cool happy memories of you instead of just pure grief.

So I thought that if you got a cool story about her that would give a glimpse of what kind of person she was, please share if you want mate.

Post: #63

Gosh, you must feel like total shit now . Though our materialistic point of view denies it, she's with you, in your heart and your memories.

I pray.

Post: #64

(04-22-2019 05:50 PM)eck Wrote:  Gosh, you must feel like total shit now . Though our materialistic point of view denies it, she's with you, in your heart and your memories.

I pray.

Hey man, she's only upstairs. No big deal.

Post: #65

(04-22-2019 05:43 PM)No More Mr. Soy Boy Wrote:  When relatives or pets in my family have passed away we've sat down together and tried to share funny stories and memories about the individual that passed away that was just so typical for describing what kind of individual they were and I remember that as being pretty helpful in the first initial period where I was just shocked. And that's probably what they would have wanted anyway, right? If you pass away I think you would rather have your loved ones share cool happy memories of you instead of just pure grief.

So I thought that if you got a cool story about her that would give a glimpse of what kind of person she was, please share if you want mate.

Oooh I don't know. Nothing comes to mind right now. Bear in mind that for many years we often haven't really been able to talk the way we used to because her problems were always the main thing going on. I have pleasant memories of when we were younger, but right now I can't, it's too difficult. I happened to have some old photos at my place, but I've hidden them for now.

Post: #66

I have to say, I'm becoming more philosophical now. I've always been philosophical but since yesterday I think I might become even more so. One thing that comes to mind is that regardless of who or what you are, what side you're on, when you move past all the bravado (internet or otherwise), we're all just ordinary people. The worst lefties, or the most misguided people (but I repeat myself), or anyone who is "bad" from whatever point of view, we're all just dumbasses making our way through the world, forming opinions, disagreeing, and being on one side or another. Take away your enemy's brother, sister or parent, and they're no longer the badass that they think they are. They become a blubbering mess, a human being. This internet in particular has turned life into a cowboys and indians movie.

Post: #67

Hi Vlad.

I woke up today feeling a bit bad about the fact that it could be seen that I distrusted you with what you were saying. I did not distrust you at all, I just had some bad experiences with this kind of stuff.

I am sure you are not lying. I am sure no one would ever lie about anything like this.

Then I saw that you did not PM me.

That's ok.

You sounded very desperate in your first post:

-------------------------------
I'm shaking right now. I just had a call. Please, I need help and strength. Please I need company, help me, talk to me. I don't have anyone to talk to. Please. Pray for me. Help me, talk to me. Even if I don't respond, I just need to know people care.
------------------------------------

It's just once, I had someone else pull some kind of BS over this. They pretended a near relative had died. That's why I offered up my phone number so I can call you back and pay for the call just to comfort you in some way.

You 'liked' my post, but yet, did not send me a PM to say thanks - I will call you. That kind of thing. It's ok.

I just find it a bit odd when you are so desperate.

Perhaps this thread is going in exactly the right direction you were hoping for?

Again, I'm not calling you out. I just had a bad experience once, and unfortunately it makes me unable to trust total strangers on the internet.

So I'll say once again: would you like to talk to me, 'face to face' on the phone? I've done it with other RVF members. I'm real. It's the same phone number.

I'm used to being ignored and I don't take this as any kind of ego insult or narc injury, but I didn't see many other RVF brothers actually offering you real time air time to chat. Forgive me if I am wrong.

I hate to see people suckered. I see it everyday. It's the easiest thing to do. And I'm not accusing you of it.

But if you would like to chat, I'm here. Right now in fact.

If you PM me I'll give you a number you can call. It's 1:30 in the morning here, but it's ok. I see you are on line.

It may be that you don't think much of me as an RVF member. It may be that we have fallen out in the past. That's ok too. I'm not everyone's cup of tea.

And feel free to just ignore this post once again. You owe me nothing.

I'm used to being 'suckered'. But it hurts me to see others taken in.

I'm sure you are 'gen'.

But I've got this strange feeling going up the back of my spine. It's a throwback to all the times I was abused and lied to and taken for a ride.

Perhaps you can help a brother out?


I felt bad this morning with all my bad-mindedness
...


Please, I need help and strength. Please I need company, help me, talk to me. I don't have anyone to talk to. Please.

I'm here for you right now brother. PM me your number. I'll call you up and take the call.

I'd do this for any other RVF brother.

But feel free to ignore me as well. That's ok.

Post: #68

My condolences VP. You and your family will be in my prayers this week. I am glad you are seeking the support that you need in this time.

Post: #69

My condolences.

Be strong and stay with your mother. She might need your help now more than ever.

Post: #70

(04-22-2019 07:43 PM)Rigsby Wrote:  Hi Vlad.

I woke up today feeling a bit bad about the fact that it could be seen that I distrusted you with what you were saying. I did not distrust you at all, I just had some bad experiences with this kind of stuff.

I am sure you are not lying. I am sure no one would ever lie about anything like this.

Then I saw that you did not PM me.

That's ok.

You sounded very desperate in your first post:

-------------------------------
I'm shaking right now. I just had a call. Please, I need help and strength. Please I need company, help me, talk to me. I don't have anyone to talk to. Please. Pray for me. Help me, talk to me. Even if I don't respond, I just need to know people care.
------------------------------------

It's just once, I had someone else pull some kind of BS over this. They pretended a near relative had died. That's why I offered up my phone number so I can call you back and pay for the call just to comfort you in some way.

You 'liked' my post, but yet, did not send me a PM to say thanks - I will call you. That kind of thing. It's ok.

I just find it a bit odd when you are so desperate.

Perhaps this thread is going in exactly the right direction you were hoping for?

Again, I'm not calling you out. I just had a bad experience once, and unfortunately it makes me unable to trust total strangers on the internet.

So I'll say once again: would you like to talk to me, 'face to face' on the phone? I've done it with other RVF members. I'm real. It's the same phone number.

I'm used to being ignored and I don't take this as any kind of ego insult or narc injury, but I didn't see many other RVF brothers actually offering you real time air time to chat. Forgive me if I am wrong.

I hate to see people suckered. I see it everyday. It's the easiest thing to do. And I'm not accusing you of it.

But if you would like to chat, I'm here. Right now in fact.

If you PM me I'll give you a number you can call. It's 1:30 in the morning here, but it's ok. I see you are on line.

It may be that you don't think much of me as an RVF member. It may be that we have fallen out in the past. That's ok too. I'm not everyone's cup of tea.

And feel free to just ignore this post once again. You owe me nothing.

I'm used to being 'suckered'. But it hurts me to see others taken in.

I'm sure you are 'gen'.

But I've got this strange feeling going up the back of my spine. It's a throwback to all the times I was abused and lied to and taken for a ride.

Perhaps you can help a brother out?


I felt bad this morning with all my bad-mindedness
...


Please, I need help and strength. Please I need company, help me, talk to me. I don't have anyone to talk to. Please.

I'm here for you right now brother. PM me your number. I'll call you up and take the call.

I'd do this for any other RVF brother.

But feel free to ignore me as well. That's ok.

Hey don't feel bad about anything. The reason why I haven't taken up any of the offers that I've had to chat on the phone is partly because it would feel odd to talk to a total stranger about something like this (not that there's anything wrong with it, it's just strange to me) and also because what I needed and still need is to be able to chat on here. In fact, talking on the phone to a stranger would make this too intense. This thread is helping me a lot. I was asking for company on here, not necessarily on the phone, although it's good to have the option and if I feel the need I'll certainly let you know. By the way although I didn't reply to you directly, I did address you in a post.

I was desperate. My hands were shaking while I was typing. I started this thread just minutes after I got the call saying "you better come over, it's bad news I'm afraid".

I have to say I'm so much better know. I have my moments, but I'm fine most of the time. But I don't want to take that feeling for granted because at any time anything could come flooding back. Yesterday I had a brief phase when I felt like I might freak out, but nothing happened. I've been sleeping really well, I'm so surprised.

The important thing to me is just to keep this conversation going. Sometimes I don't feel like talking about anything, but I know it's important to do so, so it's always good to have the option. As long as I have this thread, which I check very often, and my daily chats with the 2 friends that are helping me, I know I'll be able to deal with this.

Post: #71

Dealing with the loss of of a person who been with me throughout my life has been, and still is, the hardest thing I ever had to deal with. I had to deal with and survive a lot of very hard challenges before this happened, so I thought I could handle it relatively well. But this broke me in ways I thought wasn't possible. The wounds are deep and its really hard to fathom what happened.

My advice to you is appreciate the experiences you shared with your sister. Accept that time will heal your wounds (It does). To honour you sister, live more fully, grasp your life and become a better version of yourself through this (Make your sister proud). Talk about it. I held it in for way too long and once I started talking to people I trust about it (or if you don't have anyone, talk to strangers online like here), it was relieving.

My condolences to you and your family. Take care my friend

Post: #72

Deeply sorry for your loss. Slow down at least a week and talk to your closest-good to see you've connected with your mum. A rest is like a mental reset and you will see things differently once you've rid yourself of negative energy,trust me. You may even reconnect with your Dad-I don't know the story but just give him a hearing.

Post: #73

Shock and grief work different for everyone. That is a significant loss, stay strong but if you find your self alone and in tears over a memory, or just from grief, let it go. It's part of grieving for most of us. I lost my mother a couple years ago and didn't shed a tear for weeks. Then one day it hit me, I cried it out for alone for ten minutes, then found acceptance, felt like a huge weight off my shoulders I. Up until then I actually felt guilty because I didn't think I was feeling sad enough to meet societal norms. Then I realized the loss hadn't really hit me.

Post: #74

My grandma sister just passed last night, in the course of 1 month my grandma lost a husband and a sister whom been in her life for 60+years. Sounds like sleep haven’t been a problem for you, so I don’t have to give advice about that. Just make sure you continue to be there with your family. You’re taking this pretty well and they need your calmness. This makes or breaks a family

Post: #75

I am so sorry to hear that.

Roosh is right. There is no cure for grief. What you are feeling is normal and natural. One of the great pains of existence in the mortal world.

My condolences to you.