How do you develop a strong frame

So I was just on a date and said we would move to another place for round three. And she says "I'm going home" in a not so assertive voice. I just said ok and let her. When I should have pushed for going to my place for drinks which was 2 min away. This happens fairly often that I say ok but want another thing.

Quote

(04-27-2019 02:57 PM)Phanes Wrote:  So I was just on a date and said we would move to another place for round three. And she says "I'm going home" in a not so assertive voice. I just said ok and let her. When I should have pushed for going to my place for drinks which was 2 min away. This happens fairly often that I say ok but want another thing.

You know why this is happening right? It's because you're afraid of rejection. Just speak your mind and accept the consequences.

Quote

It sounds like you're barely leading the interaction.

You have to be dominant, steer and guide the date and convo to the terms of your liking.


A few thoughts:

Have the girl uber or park in front of your place, so the night ends back up at your place or at least out front.

Parlay that into inviting her in.

During the date drop hints of cool shit back at your place or movies you both enjoy or this killer wine you have, etc.

You get the idea, use those hints to later suggest bouncing back to your place.


Sometimes you just have to be super direct and tell her that you're gonna do X at your place and she should come.

Some girls just want to go home, that's just how it is, it's your job to it's not a shit test and get her back to your place.

Quote

The fact that you made a thread about this means you care about it more than her. That's a huge part of the issue.

When you're at the point where you have options you'll automatically care a lot less. Would you care if there was a hotter girl meeting you in the bar an hour or two later? Would you care if you already arranged to go to your fuckbuddies place later on? Probably not.

You said you were going for round three. I only have one round of drinks when meeting girls nowadays, that's right, a single round. Sip that drink slowly and watch her mimic your behaviour.

When leaving the bar don't say where you're heading, just say that you're calling it a night and start walking out. She'll think you're ready to end the date and start walking outside with you.

Once outside say that your plan is to go home, but the girl can join you if she wants. If she rejects then just ignore her comment, chat about something else for a minute then repeat the offer, probably a max of three times in total.

If she decides to come, act unphased and say you will get a taxi. If not, say that it's cool, then say goodbye and walk away on a positive note. The interaction isn't over if she doesn't come back, it just means that you'll text her in a few days, meet her near your house, and walk back together.

If you've invited a girl back to your house, then agree to go on another date (coffee..etc) a few days later, that's a beta move and makes it seem like you're back tracking to the girl. My policy is that if a girl rejects my offer the first night, then I assume that she's accepted it the next time we meet.

Just don't mention you're going to your house, add a little mystery and next thing she knows you're at your front door.

Quote

(04-27-2019 03:29 PM)kaotic Wrote:  During the date drop hints of cool shit back at your place or movies you both enjoy or this killer wine you have, etc.

Lately I've been thinking of dropping hints like "Im not sure if I let my cat in". It implies a quick stop back at my place to check on the safety of a pet. What girl doesnt like cats?

Thing is I dont own a cat. But I could just open a window or something upon bringing her back to my apartment. Being that there aint no cat going to be jumping through my window, I could then put on some music or videos, offer her a drink or let her freshen up or kick back on the couch while we wait for Bartholomew.

I also live on a high floor of an apartment building but there is a ledge. Sometimes not overthinking these things is better.

Quote

Been there and what helped me the most is when I have some lines ready.

1. "Already? I am sorry I can't go with you."
2. "Alright, who is driving? Me or you?"
3. "Woah, chill. I didn't even finish my drink yet."
4. "We just met, let's take it slow"

You get the point...Just amplify & reframe it.
Sometimes girls really just leave and don't want to continue to talk. That's good.
That means that you stood there until she LOGICALLY decided to leave. That's playing till the end.

To answer the question of the title, you just need more life experience whether it's rejections in growing your business, rejection from girls, etc. It makes you more "grounded" and stoic. That's how you become more manly, masculine and actually get a solid "frame" not some gimmicky lines or techniques imo.

Quote