Post: #1

This is one of my first times on here, but my best friend frequents it and highly recommends it. He told me that some of you may be able to help me with a problem I have.
I recently spent a year traveling through Argentina and Chile. While living and working in Chile for five months, I befriended an older Chilean woman in her thirties. She and I were nothing more than friends and I really didn't want to be anything more than that -- I was too busy enjoying the beautiful women closer to my age. We would get together throughout the week and drink at a local bar. Sometimes we would make out and leave it at that. One night we got together I drank WAY too much. She came onto me really strongly and unfortunately I was too drunk to turn her down and we had unprotected sex. As strange as it sounds, I really didn't want to sleep with her and tried telling her to stop a number of times.
We spoke many times afterwards. I made it clear that I had no desire or ability to support a child and asked her if she was on birth control. She told me that she was and that she didn't want a child and that we didn't have anything to worry about. Although abortion is illegal in Chile, emergency contraceptive has been available for a while. A month later I spoke with her before I returned to the US to make sure that everything was alright. She told me that she was fine. Close call I thought.
Two months after I returned to the US she sent me an email informing me that she is pregnant and that I am the father of her child. She told me that she intends to keep it and that she has the support of her friends and family. I asked her what she wants from me and she told me that she doesn't know.
Here's the thing. I have no reason to believe her -- and certainly won't -- until DNA testing confirms that the child is mine. But I don't have any reason to disbelieve her. Knowing her I don't think that she would lie to me many months later just to fuck with me. Whether the child is mine or not is irrelevant. I don't want anything to do with it. I have been largely ignoring her emails. She hasn't sent many and they have all been asking me questions about myself and my life rather than telling me about hers.

I was wondering if any of you could help me with this situation. Has anyone had a similar problem? If so how have you dealt with it? My fears now are that she is going to try to get something from me. Does anyone have a solid understanding of international law?

Thanks again for all of your help! Looking forward to your feedback.

Post: #2

How much information does she have on you? Your real name? What else?

Post: #3

(11-29-2011 08:30 PM)markus Wrote:  I made it clear that I had no desire or ability to support a child
I don't want anything to do with it.

Stop answering her e-mails, if anything, create a filter that automatically deletes her e-mail as soon as it gets to your inbox so you are not tempted to reply, and start freaking out anytime you see an e-mail pop-up in your inbox.

The LESS she knows about you the better!

If she wants to keep it, there is nothing you can do, as far as child support goes, it will take $$$ that she will have to cough up FIRST, and the US embassy will only give her phone numbers of child support services in your state to help her come after you. (Given that she knows your real name, address, family members, where you work etc)

BUUUTTTTT, you have to VOLUNTARY submit to a DNA test, the US embassy will not legally force you to take a DNA test just because a girl reported you are her "baby's daddy" at the front gate of the US Embassy in Chile. They may send you a letter (maybe) asking you to submit a DNA test, but that's a huge difference than forcing you to.

Bottom line, it sounds to me like this was a set-up for the beginning. If she was on teh pill, she should have not gotten pregnant, so we know thats; bullshit she fed you so you can have sex and shoot inside her.

Cut-off all communication, and then its her burden to prove its yours, which will cost her a ton of money up-front to do, if she can so much as find you that is.


There are a lot of John Doe's in any give state.

Nowadays I always tell girls a complete fake name, and even a completely fake state. I tell girls I live in Spain on top of a fake name!

Others will have more expert advice, but I'd just cut-off communication IMMEDIATELY!!

Stop being there for her to comfort her, she will SMELL your fear and prey on you!!

Mixx

Post: #4

I wouldn't delete the emails, set it up to automatically file them away. She might go crazy bitch and incriminate herself

Chef In Jeans
A culinary website for men

Post: #5

If she tries to go after you for child support she would have to hire a attorney in the US and file a claim. Or, it seems, she could get a court order in Chile and then try to enforce it in the US, but I cannot confirm whether the US and Chile have a child support reciprocal agreement. Check out this for more information: http://www.ehow.com/about_5526038_intern...-laws.html

Overall, it seems she would have to spend some money on attorneys to go after you and that it would be a long process so I would just lay low and hope she goes away. Hopefully, she does not have your address or more details than your name and email. It sounds like this is not the first time she has done this so she may just be testing you to see if you agree to pay her money without raising many issues. I am sure there are some gullible guys who fall into this trap.

Post: #6

Am I the only one that thinks this is a troll ?

Post: #7

Oh, boy, unfortunately I've seen this movie before.... lady in her 30's, apparently not that hot, gets a foreigner drunk, tells him it's OK and safe to do it without a condom, that she took all protective measures and later announces she's pregant... A traditional trap.

Post: #8

(11-29-2011 08:38 PM)Gmac Wrote:  How much information does she have on you? Your real name? What else?

Yeah....what Gmac said.

Post: #9

What Mixx said.

Post: #10

AHHHH...the ol' Jamie Foxx "blame it on the alcohol" defense! As they say on ESPN...COME ON MAN! You know you wanted to hit that. You spent time with her. Drank with her. Made out with her. I know when I make out with a chick, my dick gets hard. When my dick gets hard, I NEED satisfaction. All the alcohol did was free you to do what you wanted to do anyway. The problem is you hit it raw. Many women in these countries will all of a sudden turn to their religious beliefs at the most inopportune time for YOU (the whole I don't believe in birth control OR abortion thing, yet I fucked a visiting gringo out of wedlock).

My best guess is that this woman doesn't have the resources to come after you hard on this (if it's true that she's pregnant, or she's pregnant but it ISN'T yours). I'd be inclined to discontinue contact. Definitely don't answer any questions about yourself or your life, because she's definitely doing it to get as much info on you as possible. Let her worry about raising the kid, because just like I ripped you a little for rawdogging her, she's just as responsible and wanted it to happen even more than you did. Women are the ones that get pregnant, so she shouldn't have allowed you to blast in her if she wasn't prepared to go it alone with the child. Needless to say...I wouldn't set foot in Chile again!

Post: #11

Thanks for all of your feedback I really appreciate it. As far as I know she only has my name and my email address. She knows that I am from the US and may remember which state I'm from, but she doesn't have my address. After the first couple of emails I have stopped responding to her. At this time I'm waiting to see what she does or asks me to do. Not too much else I can do at this time. I'm definitely not volunteering any information or offering to do anything. I have no desire to talk to or her hear from here. I could always delete the email address of mine that she has and leave it at that. And I'm definitely not returning to Chile anytime soon.
Still it's strange to me that a 30+ year old, unmarried, professional woman would "accidentally" get pregnant after not for her entire life. I'm pretty sure she lied to me and wanted to get pregnant by me or whoever. Does anyone know of any good lawyers to talk to?

Post: #12

(11-30-2011 04:04 PM)markus Wrote:  Thanks for all of your feedback I really appreciate it. As far as I know she only has my name and my email address. She knows that I am from the US and may remember which state I'm from, but she doesn't have my address. After the first couple of emails I have stopped responding to her. At this time I'm waiting to see what she does or asks me to do. Not too much else I can do at this time. I'm definitely not volunteering any information or offering to do anything. I have no desire to talk to or her hear from here. I could always delete the email address of mine that she has and leave it at that. And I'm definitely not returning to Chile anytime soon.
Still it's strange to me that a 30+ year old, unmarried, professional woman would "accidentally" get pregnant after not for her entire life. I'm pretty sure she lied to me and wanted to get pregnant by me or whoever. Does anyone know of any good lawyers to talk to?

Actually...if it isn't too much of a hardship, you should probably cancel that email account. Hell...maybe you should move too! (just kidding...kind of) This was definitely an act of desperation on her part. She rolled the dice, hoping for a payday. Try to find some way of getting advice for free. There must be sites that can provide information without you having to actually consult a lawyer.

Post: #13

(11-30-2011 04:36 PM)Timoteo Wrote:  

(11-30-2011 04:04 PM)markus Wrote:  Thanks for all of your feedback I really appreciate it. As far as I know she only has my name and my email address.

Actually...if it isn't too much of a hardship, you should probably cancel that email account.

If you have any social media publicly connected to that email you'll want to change or remove it asap. For example, in Facebook she could search for you by email, find out who your friends are, etc.

(11-30-2011 03:28 PM)Timoteo Wrote:  My best guess is that this woman doesn't have the resources to come after you hard on this (if it's true that she's pregnant, or she's pregnant but it ISN'T yours).

Strongly disagree. Chile isn't some 3rd-world shit-hole. Average GDP/capita there is ~$14,000, and if she is a professional women as claimed she's probably making more. She can very likely afford an attorney.

Post: #14

Do not get rid of your email account. Do make sure its not publicly linkable to another internet account that can be connected to you http://www.spokeo.com/email-search

I'm all for supporting your own kids, but when a mature adult female not using contraception has unprotected sex with some random dude, its her responsibility.

Post: #15

It's very possible she's lying. The odds that a 30+ woman would conceive from one fuck are pretty low. For a 30 year old woman, it's 20% per month.

Keep the email but don't respond to it, lest you incriminate yourself.

Post: #16

Wow. This is a fucking set up man, has to be.

This is just as much a question to you directly as it is to the rest of the guys..
Let's say she has some devious plan. Like, she wants money or who the fuck knows.

Can you not simply ask her in an email.. "What's on your mind?" Something along those lines in spanish? Let's say she's bullshitting around, at least it'd get her talking.

Could a lawyer fuck you later down the road for asking that?

Also I might ask for proof that she's pregnant. Just to see if the bun is in the oven.

Post: #17

(11-30-2011 05:46 PM)Soma Wrote:  If you have any social media publicly connected to that email you'll want to change or remove it asap. For example, in Facebook she could search for you by email, find out who your friends are, etc.

This is precisely why I do not do Facebook! You have no idea how easy it is for people to find you (whom you don't want finding you) is through Facebook.

It amazes me how many guys I know have their parents, siblings, landlords, bosses on Facebook! You just gave the IRS, CIA, FBI and that drunk bitch you fucked in a back alley during spring break 10 years ago, who now says you owe her 100,000USD in child support (or says you raped her) a way to hunt you down.

What amazes me more is the trust people place on facebook's "Privacy settings"...ha! yeah, right..you keep on believing that! I keep several external IP's around countries to even surf the web, and never Google shit without an external IP pointing to another location!

I can go on all day how law enforcement agencies across the globe rely on Facebook to hunt you down. However, here is one example.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/03/16...00776.html

Mixx

Post: #18

Its not just Facebook you have to worry about; for example you can view someones (usually unintentionally) public Amazon wishlist just by putting their email address in here - http://www.amazon.com/wishlist ; the spokeo site costs money, and you can do the searches all manually but its worth it to automate

Post: #19

(11-30-2011 11:21 PM)MiXX Wrote:  

(11-30-2011 05:46 PM)Soma Wrote:  If you have any social media publicly connected to that email you'll want to change or remove it asap. For example, in Facebook she could search for you by email, find out who your friends are, etc.

This is precisely why I do not do Facebook! You have no idea how easy it is for people to find you (whom you don't want finding you) is through Facebook.

It amazes me how many guys I know have their parents, siblings, landlords, bosses on Facebook! You just gave the IRS, CIA, FBI and that drunk bitch you fucked in a back alley during spring break 10 years ago, who now says you owe her 100,000USD in child support (or says you raped her) a way to hunt you down.

What amazes me more is the trust people place on facebook's "Privacy settings"...ha! yeah, right..you keep on believing that! I keep several external IP's around countries to even surf the web, and never Google shit without an external IP pointing to another location!

I can go on all day how law enforcement agencies across the globe rely on Facebook to hunt you down. However, here is one example.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/03/16...00776.html

Mixx

Damn Mixx, I have to rep you on this one. Preaching the Gospel!

Post: #20

"I really didn't want to sleep with her and tried telling her to stop a number of times."
So she raped you. Men who are victims of rape should not be forced against their will to pay child support. If they order child support against you, launch a civil countersuit, suing her for rape and launch a suit demanding she pay all your child support payments. Also sue to have a special prosecutor appointed to prosecute the rape against you so that she can be put on trial for raping you.

She probably got pregnant by some other chump in Chile who has no money and he is telling her to shake you down for money. Don't do it man. Delete your email, delete all your social networking and make it as hard as possible for anyone to track you down. She can attempt to get child support from you but it will be complex. US and Chile don't have mutual child support so she'd have to get a us court order, which would require her to get a us lawyer most likely.

Post: #21

Yo, I just entered my info into spokeo, thats fucking crazy, it even showed my house. I will never ever use the word again. I mean I will never ever give out my email again to any bitch. IOr I will make a special one just for those women.

I'd be worry, this isn't some 20 y/o know nothing barrista bitch. This is a professional woman who "family supports her". she may have money since she has no kids to support or her family may be able to get together money/loans from networks to get a lawyer after you when the baby comes out. she can work at a place where they have a lawyer who gets a friend who takes her case pro bono because he may know if he can find you, you have to pay alot which can cover his bill if the court rules in her favour which they will if it is your kid.