Post: #1

I was curious if anyone's run into this and how to deal with it. I'd look at it as sort of a shit test, but at the same time, girls have to be safer than guys;

Have (had) a date lined up tomorrow night with a real cute girl I met online. She was going to be driving to my town to meet me, stay in a hotel and let me take her out. Real enthusiastic texts all day then she hit me up this afternoon with:

"what's your last name?"

Obviously, she wants to google check me. I don't like this because I say I am about 10 years younger on my dating profile than I am. There's this one website (about 5 links down on google first page) that has people in my profession listed and it says my name and that I have '19 years experience in the industry' Obviously, if she sees this she can do simple math and tell I'm not 33.

a 33 year old would have at most 10 or 11 years experience.

So, how did I respond?

I texted her "my name is (real name)" I told her my name.

Haven't heard back yet which is not too big a deal as we've been going sometimes hours between texts. But, my gut tells me by sending her my real name and letting her google check me, my odds of a flake/back out just increased.

I halfway expect her to text me next something like "how old are you by the way?" in which case I could just stick to "33" and say the website is incorrect if she brings it up. Or I could go a little higher and say "38...btw I think my profile says 33. hope that's okay"

In the future, if I don't want to tell a girl who asks before a date, I suppose the only other options are:
1. Lie about your last name.
2. Give her some line about "I like to remain discreet at first" But, that sounds kind of shady to me.

I can see this becoming more an issue in the future as online game proliferates, girls want to be safe and all these "rape allegations" permeating the media.

How would you handle it? thoughts?

Post: #2

Tell her a common last name like Smith she'll get bored in one minute.

Post: #3

(04-23-2015 03:55 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  Tell her a common last name like Smith she'll get bored in one minute.

Great idea and so simple. Too late for this one though. I have a crazy unique last name too.

Post: #4

(04-23-2015 03:57 PM)robreke Wrote:  

(04-23-2015 03:55 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  Tell her a common last name like Smith she'll get bored in one minute.

Great idea and so simple. Too late for this one though. I have a crazy unique last name too.

So what happened?

Post: #5

(04-23-2015 04:04 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  

(04-23-2015 03:57 PM)robreke Wrote:  

(04-23-2015 03:55 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  Tell her a common last name like Smith she'll get bored in one minute.

Great idea and so simple. Too late for this one though. I have a crazy unique last name too.

So what happened?

I texted her my real name about 40 minutes ago and also asked her to let me know when she's on her way tomorrow so I could give her the hotel address.

I haven't heard back yet.

Post: #6

(04-23-2015 04:06 PM)robreke Wrote:  

(04-23-2015 04:04 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  

(04-23-2015 03:57 PM)robreke Wrote:  

(04-23-2015 03:55 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  Tell her a common last name like Smith she'll get bored in one minute.

Great idea and so simple. Too late for this one though. I have a crazy unique last name too.

So what happened?

I texted her my real name about 40 minutes ago and also asked her to let me know when she's on her way tomorrow so I could give her the hotel address.

I haven't heard back yet.

Next time that happens say I'll tell you when we meet. I think you might have lost this shit test.

Is there any dirt online? Some women pay for that background check subscription shit.

Post: #7

(04-23-2015 04:09 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  

(04-23-2015 04:06 PM)robreke Wrote:  

(04-23-2015 04:04 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  

(04-23-2015 03:57 PM)robreke Wrote:  

(04-23-2015 03:55 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  Tell her a common last name like Smith she'll get bored in one minute.

Great idea and so simple. Too late for this one though. I have a crazy unique last name too.

So what happened?

I texted her my real name about 40 minutes ago and also asked her to let me know when she's on her way tomorrow so I could give her the hotel address.

I haven't heard back yet.

Next time that happens say I'll tell you when we meet. I think you might have lost this shit test.

Is there any dirt online? Some women pay for that background check subscription shit.

There's no dirt. Just info about me on my company profile ( which doesn't give away my age) and another website which does give away my age indirectly ( it doesn't say my age outright, but it says how long I've been in this business which is too long for someone in their early 30s like I claim to be)

Post: #8

"You want my bank account info too? Fuck off bitch."

Post: #9

If you know that they are very likely to find out about some dirt or a lie it is usually better to come clean before they discover it themselves.

Post: #10

If she's asking bullshit questions like "What's your last name?" before even meeting you, her level of interest is already low to begin with.

It's definitely a shit test. And you lose if you give her what she wants.

The right answer is Mechanico's answer: "I'll tell you when we meet"

The second best right answer is Mechanico's answer: "Smith"


If she's unwilling to meet you without knowing your last name, you were screwed anyway. Remember, the phone is for setting up dates or meetings only. It's not for giving personal information.

Post: #11

Have to agree with El always on going with a common last name, although she may just be super slow in getting back.

This sounds like a case when you spiked her interest and emotion to peak levels and then she came back to earth a bit

When you can get them so swept up they start making plans without even knowing your vitals, you know your on to something, but that window of opportunity can close fast especially if she tells her besties of her wild plans and they start to talk some sense into her

I've had to calm many a hamster down after those evil cockblockers got in her ear

Post: #12

(04-23-2015 04:29 PM)MY DETROIT PLAYAS Wrote:  Have to agree with El always on going with a common last name, although she may just be super slow in getting back.

This sounds like a case when you spiked her interest and emotion to peak levels and then she came back to earth a bit

When you can get them so swept up they start making plans without even knowing your vitals, you know your on to something, but that window of opportunity can close fast especially if she tells her besties of her wild plans and they start to talk some sense into her

I've had to calm many a hamster down after those evil cockblockers got in her ear

I'm sure something like that happened:

"Oh Cristy, you can't just drive down there without knowing this guy...think girl!:

The thing is, I'm kind of an upstanding citizen if I do say so myself. I'm an advisor at a nationally recognized firm. My profile on my firm's website talks about my accomplishments and the fact that I'm local Rotary, etc."

So....there's no dirt or anything to make me look "unsafe" other than the fib about my age.

But this is good general info to know for future run ins like this.

Post: #13

If she hasn't replied for too long a long shot could be to text her and ask if she has found something interesting on you when googling?

Post: #14

Dahmer. Jeffrey Dahmer.

Post: #15

When a girl asks for my last name, I just tell her to look at my instagram profile instead.

I don't think the last name request always means she wants to stalk you on google. She's just nervous about meeting a guy from the internet.

Which to me is a reasonable concern in this day and age. Hell if I were a young white chick, I probably wouldn't be meeting dudes off some fucking iphone app.

Anyway, if you don't have instagram, send her to your twitter or blog or something else that let's her know you're a real person.


----
Example script:

girl: "what's your last name?"
me: "are you afraid I'm not a real person?"
girl: "haha maybe"
me: "well if you want to stalk me, you can check out my instagram: "
girl: "omg your pictures are beautiful"
me: "thanks. Let's plan on meeting up 8pm. I'll text you the address tomorrow"
girl: "ok cool"

Post: #16

I'd give her my insta if it didn't show my wife in all the pictures.







Not serious btw

Post: #17

In my less socially responsible days i had a fake name to give girls.

My middle name is technically a first name with a really common abbreviation. So i usually go by that when i introduce myself.
If things with a girl go well and it develops into a relationship or fuck buddies (generally I've screened her not to be bat shit crazy) I'll give her a breakdown of why i went by my middle name abbreviation etc...it's plausible enough that she believes it.

Parlay44 had the right idea about escalating the questioning to make her look insane.

Post: #18

"I don't give personal information out to strange women from the internet."

Post: #19

When I encountered this years ago , I came up with El Mech's solution; I would just google "top ten most common last names" and pick one. My first name isn't common but it isn't rare either so that worked ok.

The interesting thing to me is how few women ask my last name before we meet. Only 5-8% I would estimate. The ones that ask before the meet often flake or if we do meet turn out almost invariably to be cunts. Some do ask when we are well into the date, and I might give them a real or a fake name depending on how I want to handle her. But some never ask and I have banged plenty of girls, some of them repeatedly over quite a period of time, who never asked what my last name was.

Post: #20

Lie about your first name too. Since coming back from Asia it's standard practice for me now. There's no reason why a woman we've never even met, let alone banged, deserves to know anything we don't want to tell them.

Post: #21

Give her your forum handle.

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling

Post: #22

Update:

After I texted her my name, about two hours later she hits me up with:

Her: Okay thank you! My last name is (her last name) if you want to add me on facebook on LinkedIn
Me: Sure...will do. I'll give you hotel details tomorrow. Probably the Hilton.
Her: Sounds good

Guess there wasn't anything too damning there. We'll see how tomorrow goes.

But for future reference I think I'll follow Mech's advice or some variation when a girl asks this.

Post: #23

Man. You're so nice I almost want to date you myself.

I think you're ok though but you learn how to tack fully dismiss some of this or at least wait for a response

Post: #24

Glad it worked out for you, kinda figured it was just a delayed response

Usually if a lizard finds holes in your story, the backlash comes sooner

Post: #25

Some girl asked for my plate number yesterday. Of course, I didn't give it to her but I sorta gave the same response as many others have said.

She wanted it for her safety and such so I respond back saying, 'I'm not giving my plate number because of safety reasons."

I basically just flipped the script right on her and it became a non issue.

Potential 2nd date bang with weekend