Post: #1

Following another forum member i thought I collect my approaches in a thread from now on and ask for your comments.

This morning I was on a train from northeast Italy to Rome when at a stop a girl sat opposite the aisle from me. An 8 and seemingly above 30. After a while I opened by saying how hot it was inside and then where she was from. We talked for some 5 minutes. She was an Aussie traveling alone in Europe. She asked me some questions and it turned out both of us were going to be in Rome for 2 days. She didn't have plans for tomorrow and had no friends in Rome.

At this point (half an hour before destination) I couldn't keep the conversation going and the train was loud so I thought I'd ask her were she was staying and if she'd like to explore the city together on sunday WHEN LEAVING THE TRAIN. (Somewhat inspired by a story in Troy's book.)

But she got off the train at a station 5 minus before Rome. I was like FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKK!!

Should I have tried to keep the conversation going on for longer or would it have been alright to ask her the question right then? When to "strike out" and ask for # or for a meetup scapes me most of the time. I'm usually either too late or too early.

I'm gonna go out on a hunt now. Lot's of tourists around. Let's see what I can do.

Post: #2

(07-25-2015 07:04 AM)duedue Wrote:  This morning I was on a train from northeast Italy to Rome when at a stop a girl sat opposite the aisle from me. An 8 and seemingly above 30. After a while I opened by saying how hot it was inside and then where she was from. We talked for some 5 minutes. She was an Aussie traveling alone in Europe. She asked me some questions and it turned out both of us were going to be in Rome for 2 days. She didn't have plans for tomorrow and had no friends in Rome.

At this point (half an hour before destination) I couldn't keep the conversation going and the train was loud so I thought I'd ask her were she was staying and if she'd like to explore the city together on sunday WHEN LEAVING THE TRAIN. (Somewhat inspired by a story in Troy's book.)

But she got off the train at a station 5 minus before Rome. I was like FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKK!!


I'm gonna go out on a hunt now. Lot's of tourists around. Let's see what I can do.

I think it's pretty obvious when someone is getting ready to get off the train - they put their stuff back into a backpack/bag/whatever, put clothes on, etc. This would give you enough time to suggest to the Aussie girl to hang out together and get her number (or get a big, fat NO). Even if you were to be looked at by 10 persons, so what? They don't know you and half an hour later they'd forget anyway. Spotlight effect is in your head to a degree. Even if someone would interject (very, very unlikely), you could say they're rude, etc. If that were to happen (again, very, very unlikely) you could take it to your advantange by projecting your dominance and social savviness and in effect, display alpha male like value.

I reckon you'll be smarter next time around in a situation like this.

Post: #3

(07-25-2015 08:05 AM)ksbms Wrote:  I think it's pretty obvious when someone is getting ready to get off the train - they put their stuff back into a backpack/bag/whatever, put clothes on, etc. This would give you enough time to suggest to the Aussie girl to hang out together and get her number (or get a big, fat NO). Even if you were to be looked at by 10 persons, so what? They don't know you and half an hour later they'd forget anyway. Spotlight effect is in your head to a degree. Even if someone would interject (very, very unlikely), you could say they're rude, etc. If that were to happen (again, very, very unlikely) you could take it to your advantange by projecting your dominance and social savviness and in effect, display alpha male like value.

I reckon you'll be smarter next time around in a situation like this.

It happened pretty fast (was talking to another passenger and then grabbed her big backpack and got up) but she told me have a nice day on her way. Here is the problem: I'm generally slow to react. Or I guess I'm kind of passive (indecisive). I've lost countless opportunities this way.

Now about suggesting to hang out, I think I have a rather deep problem here. Unless the girl shows clear signs of interest (laughing at my jokes, wide eyes, etc) I have a feeling that I'm begging. It's like I'm asking her to save me. Even when I put on a confident vibe, I know deep down that I'm a lonely person.

Post: #4

Another approach. I saw a set of 4 hot girls sitting near an old ugly tower. I took it as a challenge to go and open them (like in Troy's recent article) Was afraid on the way but they looked quite young close by (maybe teenager).

I see you've found an interesting tourist attraction in Rome (pointing at the tower)!
They didn't get it so I had to repeat.
"We are just having lunch here".
Asked them a few questions. They were erasmus students from Czeck rep. Told them about my trip to Prague last year. Also said I'm here for something similar to exchange scholarship but they didn't ask any questions. Was feeling awkward so I said goodbye.

Post: #5

If you feel like you're begging, then you probably are. Just learn to get some vibe going. Eject if too ankward. And for the first girl, you could easily have closed it. Just make sure to strike before she leaves.

Post: #6

I posted this in the approach thread but then realized it was more suitable for the newbie forum. So I took the liberty of reposting it here.

Just came back from a social gathering. Did 4 approaches. The first 3 I opened with a "Hey, how are you guys doing?"

1-set of two, one of them attractive (8) the other fat. They did a strange gig at a "hunted mansion" over weekends. I talk to them some but took it as a warmup so didn't hit on the 8,

2-set of two, one blond (8-9) the other short latina or maybe pacific islander (6). I asked them what they did and after they answered the Latina asked me how I liked the event and then told me "I hope you'll have a nice evening". Admittedly I was speaking slowly and couldn't come up with a way to rebuff her in time so I fucked off.

3-Set of 3. Opened and then conversed with one of them which was more receptive. At the beginning we were interrupted by a long announcement but I restarted talking before it was over. Turned out we had gone to the same school (but she was much younger). In the end I went for the # close but made the mistake of asking "Would you give me..." Her facial expression when summoning The Boyfriend made it clear that he was not real.

4-Just as I was going to leave I noticed a girl with curly hair near me.
"Hey!" She didn't hear me because of the music so I waived my hand in front of her face.

"Are you new here?"
"Yes I am."
She was tipsy. Was in town to meet her friends and was leaving tomorrow. Rambled quite a bit. She said I sounded "very interesting". I did a little kino. Asked what I was going to do after the event to which I answered:
Going to a pub to grab a bite, do you wanna come?
I should see what my friends doing.

She went to a couple and after a little bit told me they were going to a restaurant for dinner. "It was nice to talk to you."

Was there anything I could've done at that point?
I guess I should've done Mystery's "Would you like to kiss me?" when she said she found me interesting. One interesting point was that since she was cool and not bitchy I spoke much more naturally and confidently compared to the other 3 approaches. When I was in the line at the parking lot she passed by my car alone but only noticed her when she entered the staircase to climb up. That was a bit strange.

Post: #7

I have a 9-5 job which makes daygame difficult. Today at my lunch time I went to a pond on campus and was taking photos. Noticed a girl sitting on a bench in distance. I went closer and took a few shots of her; she noticed me. The beta in me got a bit afraid. Then I walked to her and showed her the photo. Close up she looked very cute with long wavy dark hair. I should have my eyesight checked. (I may not remember the exact succession of the conversation.)

This woman is wanted by FBI..... for being stylish.
[smiles and looks shy]
Taking rest between classes?
Yeah, I like it here.
Yeah I do too. I come here at my lunch break sometimes. There is a garden on other side of campus as well, have you been there?
Yes.

There was a pause. I took a photo of the pond.

She: It's a beautiful day today.

OK, she said something on her own; not bad.

Yeah! with the overcast sky it looks mysterious.
And it's not raining.
Yeah, true. I like bare trees a lot, they look mysterious too.


Me: What do you study?... let me guess... engineering.
No I study political sciences.
So you want to become a politician?
I don't know yet.
Want to become secretary....
My mother is calling. [I didn't hear a ringtone.]
That's OK.


I love being rejected, too much. (What else can I do?) When she said that, I told myself "Yes! here it comes at last!"


I walked away for a minute or two and then headed back to work. She was standing some 60 feet away from the bench talking to her phone.
I thought I could catch up with her and say she can model for me. But thought it wouldn't be worth it or maybe I was too proud.

Post: #8

nice field log, keep it up dude.

Post: #9

Went to a fast food today. A long line there, me and a girl were walking toward the end of the line. I walked fast and got there first.

I win!
[silence]
But they are pretty fast.
I have only 2 minutes.
To attend a class?
No I'm teaching.
Teaching assistant?
Yeah.

Then there was a pause. The line was moving slowly ahead and I was thinking whether to restart or not. I decided it won't hurt anybody.

What do you teach?
Chem

Then I told her that I used to be a TA as well, told her what I taught and she said it was one of her favorite subjects. We talked about being a TA, a tutor, having a boss...It was a little passionate. Then there was only one person left in front of me. I thought about closing but told myself she didn't ask me any questions. There were 2 counters, I went to one without saying goodbye and she then went to the other. I thought I may see her on the way out. Couldn't see her and sat at a table. Saw her waking past and said hey! to which she faked a smile and passed.


Thanks Olive. Any feedback?

Post: #10

(12-03-2015 06:58 PM)duedue Wrote:  Went to a fast food today. A long line there, me and a girl were walking toward the end of the line. I walked fast and got there first.

I win!
[silence]
But they are pretty fast.
I have only 2 minutes.
To attend a class?
No I'm teaching.
Teaching assistant?
Yeah.

Then there was a pause. The line was moving slowly ahead and I was thinking whether to restart or not. I decided it won't hurt anybody.

What do you teach?
Chem

Then I told her that I used to be a TA as well, told her what I taught and she said it was one of her favorite subjects.
We talked about being a TA, a tutor, having a boss...It was a little passionate.
Then there was only one person left in front of me.
I thought about closing but told myself she didn't ask me any questions.
There were 2 counters, I went to one without saying goodbye and she then went to the other.
I thought I may see her on the way out. Couldn't see her and sat at a table.
Saw her waking past and said hey! to which she faked a smile and passed.


Thanks Olive. Any feedback?

it's great that you're out hunting sounds like a fun one too! the hesitation, self calculation, the thrill - as I read, reliving with you - keep posting please.


so you started as stranger at fast food queue and when the queue is gone, so are you. obviously you can do openers. you can push on when there is no encouragement from target.
what you evidently did not do is encourage her curiosity about you, build attraction and make her invest in you. as the queue guy, queue is gone, you're gone, she didn't invest nothing, she didn't lose nothing by walking away.

if you are up for a challenge, I suggest opening 10 girls with ZERO mentioning of your work or her work
it's normal to talk about but the problem is everybody does it. you are everybody. just the next body. nothing special, easy to replace. don't do that. be someone special perhaps.

may I suggest watching this one if you haven't yet - I'd say this is a rare example of low tempo & pauses done well




checkout the video and read the rest after...
checkout the video and read the rest after...

he's a natural if we are to take his word so I don't expect you to kiss in 17 minutes but try 30 lol
in the video she's in a travel mood, relaxed, open for adventure, keen to connect with a local.
in your case she's open for... well, just fast food - not much more. so your logistics are slightly less optimal so don't be too hard on yourself. you did well I think.

in the video - see how he opens with instant familiarity buildup - "film scenes" and positions the both of them as LOVERS. from this FIRST MOMENT he's saying I'm the lover and um gunna luv u baby. did you do anything like that? perhaps try it next time.


a couple ideas...
you could try some roleplay to build up instant familiarity just like the video, for example AS YOU BOTH KNOW YOU'RE A COUPLE. something like okay we're doing this today but you gotta cook something proper next time - I'm not eating this again! *play upset*

the logical response I would expect from girl is: wtf are you talking about you deluded mentally sick strange man. get the f away from me or calling the cops.
the thing is that worst case response hasn't happened to me EVER.
I got "nice try", "i got a bf" whatever along with a smile or rarely cold face.
sometimes you push on and turn the tide sometimes it's just pre-determined NO and not even Cupid himself do anything about it.

it's just better than talking about work as it's unusual and fun for her. she can get the work-talking-man in any corner but you're the only one doing what you're doing.

once it's done you could try the instant-date approach. you just had a burger or whatever how about a coffee. you think she's alright and she can come along to the coffee shop in the corner.
this depends on logistics so in the previous phase try and learn as much as you can. does she have an exam in the morning(student)/does she have to grade papers(older)/is she having a job interview early in the morning at a one hour drive location(unlucky)/etc.


alternatively you could try gotta go but nice talking to you. let's continue another time write down your email I'll drop you a message. hand over pen and paper (yeah right).
once she writes it down just before she hands it over say "alright write down your number too" without any big evil cheesy grin. imagine you're exchanging contact details with your plumber - be as excited as you would be when giving out your number to him. there's a psychological effect here in play, subsequent submissions are much easier - she will write it down in most cases.
say alright my PA will call you to arrange something. then do the BradP Swedish PA thing to do an outrageous next contact. or if you feel it's a naturally ON connection no need to do bullshit routines, just call her have a nice brief chat and set up the next meet.

good luck. keep improving and having fun.

Post: #11

Fuck why was Olive banned?
Anyway after a long hiatus I made a move on a waitress at an Italian restaurant. She was pretty cute with black hair and an upright posture. I asked her about her background and she asked mine. Then near the end

Would you like any dessert sir?

I put my cellphone in front of her on the table where there was a new connection entry with "cute waitress" written in the name field.

I asked if you wanted a dessert.
And this is what I want!

She tapped it down. I didn't tip her too much. When I got back home I texted her with Olive's "you cook something proper next time". She replied with "who's that?" I intentionally replied with my name which she didn't know.
"I don't know you loose the number"
"Loose the number? Men in black gonna approach me now" then told her who I was. No response yet.

Post: #12

(01-10-2016 07:51 PM)duedue Wrote:  I asked her about her background and she asked mine. Then near the end

Showing interest first and then she asked about your background is the extent of the emotional connection I see from the post. If it were just going through usual small talk (Where are you from, what do you do, whatever...) and then you made a move, I think you jumped the gun. However, maybe we're just getting a really quick overview of the story here.

(01-10-2016 07:51 PM)duedue Wrote:  When I got back home I texted her with Olive's "you cook something proper next time". She replied with "who's that?" I intentionally replied with my name which she didn't know.
"I don't know you loose the number"
"Loose the number? Men in black gonna approach me now" then told her who I was. No response yet.

Next.

Been advised to avoid giving straight up answers to women (like I would to male friends) and to mess with them a bit. For example, she texted you "who's this," I'd text her "the absolute WORST customer you met today."

If I could tap more into our conversational connections, the better. Were the waitress and I talking about coffee (random subject, doesn't matter) at the restaurant and I still weren't memorable enough to avoid the "who's this" text, I'd text back "Your coffee critic partner in crime at the restaurant"

Something I like to tease cute waitresses about is how "for some reason you seem to keep on coming back to my table" with a smirk at the end of the sentence. It can elicit anything from a quick smile to giggles.

This is just my two cents. Good luck dude.

Post: #13

At Subway line again. The girl in front of me had something hanging from her backpack.

What is this?
Hand sanitizer.
So that you can utilize it fast?!
Yeah.
Healthy girl!
Yeah I learned that from my Mom.

I wanted to say my own mom was very tidy too but couldn't get myself to. I caught up with her after getting my sandwich but she preempted me with "Have a nice day."


I was sitting outside eating my sandwich when a passing girl looked at me, smiled and said hello. The way she looked at me was like we had met before. It doesn't happen often that American girls smile at me. (Although chances are she wasn't American.)

Hey! What's up?
Sorry I just wanted to say hello.

Fuck. What would you have done?

On my way back another girl smiled at me (this one faked). I repeated the same "Hey, what's up" to which she responded with something like "Good".
I recently get quite a few looks from girls; I guess because of the way I dress (bright colors) and that I assume an upright posture. Is direct approach better in such a situation or indirect?

Post: #14

Im still a newbie myself but here are some things i learned from the get-go that may be helpful to you.

1. Take the hot girl blinders off. Try to chill in one spot for an hour and just observe people. What are the demographics of people in front of you? Why are they there? Are they busy or idle? Old or young? Are they stressed or relaxed? Alot can be learned from observation. A place may be bad simply because society says making conversation there is not normal. Women heed social pressures consistently (ex: a girl might reject you inside the loud bar/club, but might be alot more receptive to conversation while waiting in line for said bar/club.

2. Try to avoid groups of women as best you can. Stick to approaching lone women. Women in groups simply do not have social capacity to accept male outsiders, except men who are entertainers or have good looks paired with steel confidence.

3. Read, Re-Read, and take notes on Day Bang. Its easy to completely forget the simple methods laid out in day bang when the nerves of approaching enter your mind. Open. Ramble. Drop bait. Don't scare the cat. Galnuc.

4. Look at your strengths and weaknesses and choose your venues accordingly. Do you like a particular type of music? a particular type of food? Do you know alot about wines? are you a pothead? you can use natural openers when you're in your element. Makes rambling 100x easier.

Post: #15

(02-08-2016 10:43 PM)duedue Wrote:  I was sitting outside eating my sandwich when a passing girl looked at me, smiled and said hello. The way she looked at me was like we had met before. It doesn't happen often that American girls smile at me. (Although chances are she wasn't American.)

Hey! What's up?
Sorry I just wanted to say hello.

Fuck. What would you have done?

Here's my try:

A.
"Hold on." + strong eye contact. or "Well I just wanted to say..." +

As she looks expectantly at you, that's a chance for you to riff on any observational/situational humor

Post: #16

any news from the waitress?

When it comes to identification and girls asking for my name I would be very direct and just tell her my name. Messing around and fucking with her before she knows who you even are is counterproductive and it may harm your chances with her.

So get your identification on 'lockdown' before proceeding to mess with her

Post: #17

(02-11-2016 11:47 PM)SydneyD Wrote:  any news from the waitress?

When it comes to identification and girls asking for my name I would be very direct and just tell her my name. Messing around and fucking with her before she knows who you even are is counterproductive and it may harm your chances with her.

So get your identification on 'lockdown' before proceeding to mess with her

Nope, I guess I didn't make much of an impression. You mean when approaching or later when texting her?

Post: #18

OK, I'm back, I think.

Last Tuesday, at the grocery store a single mom smiled at me and said hello while passing. I spotted her after paying for my stuff and did a blunt approach. I went to her and took a look to decide WB or not. She was OK but was aging quickly.

Do you like to meet some other time?
Noo thanks.

I could've said "You'll miss out!" but didn't occur to me.
Later that day I went to a free concert in the student center. On the staircase I spotted a girl going downstairs.

I'm going to a concert and it's going to be fun!
She looked at me in showing signs of boredom and clumsiness. It was the best time to say "Let's go! Let's go!" but again it didn't occur to me in time.

At the concert a lone girl came sat in front of me. At least a 9. Opened her during the intermission and our conversation went pretty well. She wasn't bitchy at all. We got to me staying in France for a while and I suddenly got struck by a feeling of self doubt. Then a dude friend of hers came and sat next to her. I didn't make enough effort to keep the convo and they left shortly after the concert restarted.

The next day I walked to the Subway from work. On the way I asked a girl where the Subway was (which I knew) as she was standing next to me telling me the direction I looked at her closely and thought WNB so didn't go further. But that just meant that I was a pussy to find a cheap excuse not to proceed further.

At Subway last night's girl was the cashier! Noticed I had seen her before there but in the Subway outfit she didn't look as good (7). Again we had some good convo and she asked me a couple questions. I had a feeling of older guy's charm. But then my sandwich was ready and she said "Have a great one". I couldn't react in time and fucked off.

On my way back I saw a Tshirt sale. Went right to a shopping girl
Do they have good deals?
Yeah fifty percent off
That's good although I don't usually wear T-shirts
[Laughs]

But for whatever reason I didn't continue



Next day (Thu) I went there again. There were two counters and she was at one of them but I was called to the other one. The old duedue would leave empty handed sulking that fates are always against him. But I paused for a few seconds after I got my order till the customer who was paying her left and the next one was saying things like "banana peppers....olives...". I went to her:

You again! You said you wanted to go to the concerts and events around here. I go to most f them and can let you know.
Good thanks.
How can I contact you?

She wrote her number on a napkin and handed it to me. I made the mistake of saying "thank you". (I guess I subconsciously did that to make things look discrete). I know with hired gun game discretion is very important but this is a university campus and both of us were supposedly students.

Post: #19

I texted her the same day with something like
"Hey [...], we met while listening to some lively music. My name is [a western movie character]...kidding it's [....]"

I hadn't told her my name.
I wasn't sure about two of the digits in her handwritten number so I sent the text to a total of 4 numbers. Two replied with "wrong number" and two didn't reply. Fuck it!

On Friday I went to a park. A girl was reading a book on a hammock.

I feel envious!
[smiles]
Is this a good hammock? [elderly chat]
Yeah, blah blah
Where did you get it?
Amazon

She was nerdy and had pimples. I disengaged although again I should've continued for the sake of practice.

I also encountered a hot tall and bosomy girl who had just finished her running walking in the opposite direction. But couldn't come up with something to say.

When I got home and was taking my crap out of my car a pretty hot girl walking her dog passed in front of my car. I was feeling very tired (see my insomnia thread). I took a look at her. She wore a big grin with her head tilted upwards; it wasn't exactly condescence but wasn't amusement either. This together with not hearing from the Subway girl and my weak inner game pushed me down the path of bitterness.


At weekend went to a bar for lunch. there was a girl working there, cute but with a few extra pounds. Something tells me she is a serious whore. (Has a kind of vulgar smile.) I decided to try my photography game on her. Told her I wanted to take portraits of her ("portrait" not "photo") and that she'd got a talent for it. Said she wasn't particularly interested; I gave her the link to my port to take a look.

Post: #20

Monday evening went to a salsa class. Flirted with one of the girls quite a bit, giving her the western character name again, guessing what her major was etc. But then my dancing wasn't good and she was put off.

There was a French girl there that I had seen before. I like French girls a lot, their style and body language is so feminine and I like their accents too. When it was her turn to dance with me I greeted her in French and with my meager French said I had forgotten her name. She answered but didn't ask mine. She was giving me very strong eye contact while practicing dancing, which I didn't reciprocate with enough vehemence (fatigue again).
The first time I saw her I asked "How can I meet you again" and she said at the Salsa class. So this time I decided to do the photography game again. (Good looks and beautiful smile)

have you been a model before?
[Laughs in amusement] No!
Wanna try it?
Nooo I don't want to take photos.

I could've said "Ooh a girl who doesn't like her photo to be taken; that's a new phenomenon!" but again didn't occur to me.

No approaches today. The bartender told me she hadn't looked at my port.

Post: #21

(I don't write about all my approaches here.)

Today I went hiking and on my way I came across a woman carrying an infant. She waved at me but since she was talking to her phone I didn't approach. I turned back after a few seconds and saw her doing the same.
On my way back I saw her again. Started with a little photography game and then "what is your story?" She was a graduate student at the same university I work for. I cracked a couple jokes about what she did which made her laugh.
She said she had another kid who was "with his dad". Didn't quite get if she was single or not, should have asked but she was very open and "available".
Asked me if I had kids and what I did. Asked me where I was from and I let her guess. (They like guessing games.)
Didn't close very well. I mentioned what I did was somewhat related to hers and that we should talk more. She gave me her (university) email with her full name. Her Facebook pic, which I dug later, was with an alpha looking man.

I don't know what to make of this.