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Did I fuck up by pushing too hard for the same night lay?
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alchemist Offline
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Did I fuck up by pushing too hard for the same night lay?
OK, so I'm up in Cluj, Romania. Went out last night and after a couple of mediocre conversations I really hit it off with the third girl I opened. She wasn't stunning, but pretty, a classic 7. It was one of those moments when everything seems to go right ... she was laughing at all my jokes, responding well to me touching her and touching back. When her friends were leaving the bar she asked me to come with them to a club.

Got in the club and it was the kind of music I like and again everything I did/said seemed to go down very well. She gave me her number/Facebook and we arranged to meet up tomorrow. I also told her I'd probably be back in Cluj soon (which is true). Her friends left and we were alone.

It was then I started really pushing for the same night lay (becoming much more sexual with my touching, suggesting to go back to her place etc). My attitude was that I was only in town for a few days and I might as well push for it. At this point she seemed to become a bit colder and more distant. Romanian culture is a little more conservative than British culture and one night stands aren't common apparantly. The thing is, she liked me, she wanted to meet up tomorrow and seemed VERY keen.

I tried texting her today and no response. Total flake. I know women are fickle and it's not worth over-analysing everything they do, but did I probably fuck up in this case by being too pushy when I could have met up the next night and gone for it then?
10-28-2011 08:08 AM
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Caligula Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Did I fuck up by pushing too hard for the same night lay?
It's rare that pushing will hurt your chances further down the line if she's into you.

http://www.rooshv.com/theres-no-punishme...ng-for-sex

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10-28-2011 08:41 AM
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Timoteo Offline
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RE: Did I fuck up by pushing too hard for the same night lay?
I remember Roosh's post about going for sex, but does this cross a majority of cultures? Where's the line in terms of aggression? This chick might have felt she'd get raped if she were alone with Alchemist. I think it's smart to make your attraction known, but if you're pawing a chick and she's not responding to that, it might be too much for that particular girl. Even Roosh didn't get same night lays, but laid the groundwork for penetration the next time he saw them. And he didn't escalate and push for sex UNTIL he got them back to the spot, not before he got them there.

"The best kind of pride is that which compels a man to do his best when no one is watching."
10-28-2011 09:53 AM
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Gmac Offline
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RE: Did I fuck up by pushing too hard for the same night lay?
Different cultures and certain socially inept women can freak out when you push way too hard for sex early on. I've lost out on a few notches from online dating because of it.

Vice-Captain - #TeamWaitAndSee
(This post was last modified: 10-28-2011 10:07 AM by Gmac.)
10-28-2011 10:06 AM
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alchemist Offline
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RE: Did I fuck up by pushing too hard for the same night lay?
Actually, scrap that, she texted me back after about 8 or 9 hours and wants to meet up tonight.

Even so, I probably pushed a little too hard. I think in future when I get to that point in an interaction I'll try and use judgement more as to whether I should try and get back to hers or lay the groundwork for banging her later.

Romania doesn't have a big ONS culture but it must happen sometimes, just not as often/as easily as in the West.
10-28-2011 11:51 AM
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Caligula Offline
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RE: Did I fuck up by pushing too hard for the same night lay?
(10-28-2011 10:06 AM)Gmac Wrote:  Different cultures and certain socially inept women can freak out when you push way too hard for sex early on. I've lost out on a few notches from online dating because of it.

I think in these cases it's the overall 'player vibe' they worry about. Girls on online dating are especially suspicious of guys who are just on the site to fuck.

"A flower can not remain in bloom for years, but a garden can be cultivated to bloom throughout seasons and years." - xsplat
10-28-2011 11:53 AM
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TheAntiWhiteKnight138 Offline
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Post: #7
RE: Did I fuck up by pushing too hard for the same night lay?
Push hard once you get them back to your spot (no pun intended)

Before that point you may come off as slightly desperate. Although assessing each situation on a case by case basis is most effective. One size fits all's don't exist in gaming women
10-28-2011 11:59 AM
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big poppa Away
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RE: Did I fuck up by pushing too hard for the same night lay?
Let us know what happens from here alchemist.. If you get a bang tonight then I dare say your aggressiveness probably turned out to be a good thing.
10-28-2011 12:19 PM
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darkhorse Offline
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Post: #9
RE: Did I fuck up by pushing too hard for the same night lay?
If it's a local girl interested in a foreign guy, I'd say they were open to ONS. You can probably close the deal tonight. Good luck!
10-29-2011 04:50 AM
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pitt Offline
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RE: Did I fuck up by pushing too hard for the same night lay?
Its part of the players lifestyle. The majority of time i just go for the bang when she gets to my place.
10-29-2011 07:51 AM
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MiXX Offline
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RE: Did I fuck up by pushing too hard for the same night lay?
(10-28-2011 08:08 AM)alchemist Wrote:  OK, so I'm up in Cluj, Romania. Went out last night and after a couple of mediocre conversations I really hit it off with the third girl I opened. She wasn't stunning, but pretty, a classic 7. It was one of those moments when everything seems to go right ... she was laughing at all my jokes, responding well to me touching her and touching back. When her friends were leaving the bar she asked me to come with them to a club.

Got in the club and it was the kind of music I like and again everything I did/said seemed to go down very well. She gave me her number/Facebook and we arranged to meet up tomorrow. I also told her I'd probably be back in Cluj soon (which is true). Her friends left and we were alone.

It was then I started really pushing for the same night lay (becoming much more sexual with my touching, suggesting to go back to her place etc). My attitude was that I was only in town for a few days and I might as well push for it. At this point she seemed to become a bit colder and more distant. Romanian culture is a little more conservative than British culture and one night stands aren't common apparantly. The thing is, she liked me, she wanted to meet up tomorrow and seemed VERY keen.

I tried texting her today and no response. Total flake. I know women are fickle and it's not worth over-analysing everything they do, but did I probably fuck up in this case by being too pushy when I could have met up the next night and gone for it then?


OK, one thing I always tells guys is NEVER push for a SNL until you have made-out SEVERAL times with the girl.


Touching her lower back, and being sexually playful is NOT ENOUGH! You must have her wet and ready to go by having heated make-out sessions and touching her ass in the process to let her know sex is coming, otherwise you are setting yourself up for a girl to freak-out on you!

I did not see anywhere you mention you are having heated make-out sessions with her.


Very rare a girl is making out with you (tongue and all) heavily, and you push for a bang that she will reject you. It happens, but very rare.


Mixx
(This post was last modified: 10-29-2011 08:04 AM by MiXX.)
10-29-2011 08:03 AM
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Roosh Offline
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Post: #12
RE: Did I fuck up by pushing too hard for the same night lay?
If you pushed and she went cold, and you pushed further, then yes, you might have fucked up. I don't start steering the interaction towards ONS until the kiss is out of the way (unless I'm in Iceland).

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10-29-2011 09:26 AM
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alchemist Offline
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RE: Did I fuck up by pushing too hard for the same night lay?
(10-29-2011 08:03 AM)MiXX Wrote:  
(10-28-2011 08:08 AM)alchemist Wrote:  OK, so I'm up in Cluj, Romania. Went out last night and after a couple of mediocre conversations I really hit it off with the third girl I opened. She wasn't stunning, but pretty, a classic 7. It was one of those moments when everything seems to go right ... she was laughing at all my jokes, responding well to me touching her and touching back. When her friends were leaving the bar she asked me to come with them to a club.

Got in the club and it was the kind of music I like and again everything I did/said seemed to go down very well. She gave me her number/Facebook and we arranged to meet up tomorrow. I also told her I'd probably be back in Cluj soon (which is true). Her friends left and we were alone.

It was then I started really pushing for the same night lay (becoming much more sexual with my touching, suggesting to go back to her place etc). My attitude was that I was only in town for a few days and I might as well push for it. At this point she seemed to become a bit colder and more distant. Romanian culture is a little more conservative than British culture and one night stands aren't common apparantly. The thing is, she liked me, she wanted to meet up tomorrow and seemed VERY keen.

I tried texting her today and no response. Total flake. I know women are fickle and it's not worth over-analysing everything they do, but did I probably fuck up in this case by being too pushy when I could have met up the next night and gone for it then?


OK, one thing I always tells guys is NEVER push for a SNL until you have made-out SEVERAL times with the girl.


Touching her lower back, and being sexually playful is NOT ENOUGH! You must have her wet and ready to go by having heated make-out sessions and touching her ass in the process to let her know sex is coming, otherwise you are setting yourself up for a girl to freak-out on you!

I did not see anywhere you mention you are having heated make-out sessions with her.


Very rare a girl is making out with you (tongue and all) heavily, and you push for a bang that she will reject you. It happens, but very rare.


Mixx

This makes a lot of sense and I'll bear that in mind next time. If I haven't had several kisses with tongue I shouldn't try to push too hard and lay the groundwork for sex on perhaps the next meeting.

As it turned out, I met up with this girl last night and she was already on a night out with a few friends. Kissed her on the dancefloor a couple times and had her shaking her ass against my dick (as per Mixx's advice above) and thought it was on until all her friends except one went away, leaving us as a three. I don't think it was a deliberate cockblock,didn't seem that way anyway. When I got to the point where I realised there was no way this other girl was leaving, I decided to leave, although she is coming to Bucharest in a couple of weeks. Any advice on what I could have done to try and get rid of her friend?
10-29-2011 09:39 AM
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fresh Offline
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RE: Did I fuck up by pushing too hard for the same night lay?
Hello guys.
I have a similar question from a similar experience.
I have in the past few months have good success with reading Bang, and go out and open. However, I live in Copenhagen at the moment, as Rosh mentions in travel section. Its a bit harsh..
The Situration:
I've now been with 20 girls in the last 10 weeks I have fucked 5 of them. problem is that the 5 I have fucked they 4 have been on the firstnighters. Most of the girls have been fresh to touched, when frenchkissing them, slamming the against the wall, in the corner of the bar. The a little fingering will make ​​them horny. And after that I tried to get them home, but no, a lot of the times as you can see.
and then I usually written next day, "thanks for yesterday, it was nice, kiss."
most of the girls I've fingered, never wrote back. I've analyzed it for a bit, so tonight I am passive with the fingers.

I would describe myself as a well-dressed and charming 7, trying to hit 8-9-10. Of the 5 aforementioned girls 1x6 1x9 3x7.

I thank Rosh for a great blog and book.
10-29-2011 10:51 AM
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misterstir Offline
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RE: Did I fuck up by pushing too hard for the same night lay?
Well the thing is, there is a very effective system for same night bangs. If you can't get the girl back to a place (hers/yours) then chances of same night sex are very very low. Which is why if you're going for same night bang, you want to get number of girls like this but not invest more than a 2 hours upper max and ONLY if you think you can fuxck her next time round.

Women might just not be ready to fuck you on that night, its decemeber, she may not have washed, she could be hairy, etc. But she might be down to fuck on the next meet. So never invest too much time in it. Any girl who wants you to invest lots of time (attention) is not going to drop this requirement for sex. Best to just go for the women down for quick sex.
12-11-2011 01:32 AM
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Samseau Offline
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RE: Did I fuck up by pushing too hard for the same night lay?
Quote:OK, one thing I always tells guys is NEVER push for a SNL until you have made-out SEVERAL times with the girl.

I say this varies depending on the girl.

I've banged whores without anything more than just some lip-grazing. You don't need to do full tongue-downs at all. Some girls like to kiss a little, some a lot.

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12-11-2011 03:56 PM
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Nex Offline
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RE: Did I fuck up by pushing too hard for the same night lay?
(12-11-2011 03:56 PM)Samseau Wrote:  
Quote:OK, one thing I always tells guys is NEVER push for a SNL until you have made-out SEVERAL times with the girl.

I say this varies depending on the girl.

I've banged whores without anything more than just some lip-grazing. You don't need to do full tongue-downs at all. Some girls like to kiss a little, some a lot.

This. It's highly variable.
12-11-2011 04:38 PM
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