Post: #1

Gentlemen,

A little over a month ago i picked up an FWB from my dance class. She suggested being FWB, cool right? Well, that lasted up until a week ago. She says she wants to reevaluate our relationship so she doesn't want to have sex anymore but she still wants to spend time with me. I figured that this meant that she wanted to start dating but I'm not down for that.

So, I didn't next her and instead i wanted to keep her in my back pocket. Why? because she is actually a good catch. Career, two degrees, speaks multiple languages, pious and she doesn't bore me when she talks. Today I decided to next her. I've tried a few times to make plans with her but to no avail.

The reason I've created a thread today is because she wants me to come to some seminar that she is speaking at and I don't want to go back on my decision. I haven't replied to her messages today (since she left me on read a few days ago).

What are your thoughts?

Post: #2

Don't reply. Do you not have another prospect? If not get out and run some game to find you next FWB

Post: #3

Thank you. Not at the moment but I'm gonna be out this week looking for another one or maybe several!

Post: #4

You started valuing her and want to keep her for yourself. You're putting her value above yours and without knowing the dynamic i can't say much else.

Cut contact like it's nothing cuz you got a few more of these coming and need the practice. Right now I'm going to go out on a limb and say you don't have the knowledge or resources to put her where you want her. So just cut it

Don't go to her thing. Don't hit her up for a while. Forget about her. When you feel like you have no more emotional attachment tell her (don't ask) to comekick it or join you in doing something you would do anyway. If she comes then cool if she doesn't have a good time anyways. Bang other girls in the mean time.

Create a win-win situation for yourself.

Post: #5

In my experience, women are pretty terrible at staying just FWB. Sooner or later they catch feelings, even if they were the one who suggested keeping it casual to begin with.

That said, why do you want to next her if she's a "catch?"

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling

Post: #6

There's nothing wrong with having a gf some of the time.
I swear some of the new threads posted are guys that get freaked out when the girl want to be more serious.
Having a gf can be great IF YOU make it great.
You wont be any less cool to people on the internet if you're not out there banging 9's and 10's 7 days a week.

Post: #7

Thanks for the replies!

(10-01-2017 06:22 PM)Eugenics Wrote:  You started valuing her and want to keep her for yourself. You're putting her value above yours and without knowing the dynamic i can't say much else.

Cut contact like it's nothing cuz you got a few more of these coming and need the practice. Right now I'm going to go out on a limb and say you don't have the knowledge or resources to put her where you want her. So just cut it

Don't go to her thing. Don't hit her up for a while. Forget about her. When you feel like you have no more emotional attachment tell her (don't ask) to comekick it or join you in doing something you would do anyway. If she comes then cool if she doesn't have a good time anyways. Bang other girls in the mean time.

Create a win-win situation for yourself.

That's what my plan is. Already made plans this week to go out.

(10-01-2017 06:31 PM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  In my experience, women are pretty terrible at staying just FWB. Sooner or later they catch feelings, even if they were the one who suggested keeping it casual to begin with.

That said, why do you want to next her if she's a "catch?"

I figured it would turn out that way honestly but her actions say otherwise.

I decided to next her because I'd rather not waste my time waiting for her to say it's okay to come spend time with her or waiting for her to reply to a text three days later.

(10-01-2017 09:19 PM)kinjutsu Wrote:  There's nothing wrong with having a gf some of the time.
I swear some of the new threads posted are guys that get freaked out when the girl want to be more serious.
Having a gf can be great IF YOU make it great.
You wont be any less cool to people on the internet if you're not out there banging 9's and 10's 7 days a week.

I agree with you but it's just not something I want right now. I want to go out and be debaucherous.

Post: #8

(10-01-2017 09:44 PM)Stroked351w Wrote:  I agree with you but it's just not something I want right now. I want to go out and be debaucherous.

Stick with that until you no longer crave that, then you can actually be more serious with a girl. So for now I'd stick to fuck buddies only, but that's just me.

Post: #9

OP, you did a right thing.

Quote:A little over a month ago i picked up an FWB from my dance class. She suggested being FWB, cool right? Well, that lasted up until a week ago. She says she wants to reevaluate our relationship so she doesn't want to have sex anymore but she still wants to spend time with me. I figured that this meant that she wanted to start dating but I'm not down for that.

From what I have seen, she does not want a LTR with you.

Basically, she wants your time and money in exchange for...small talk. That's...not a very equitable trade, in my honest opinion.

Also, there is a possibility (small one) that this is a shit test. Most men would fail it. By not contacting her, I would say that you passed it.

Quote:So, I didn't next her and instead i wanted to keep her in my back pocket. Why? because she is actually a good catch. Career, two degrees, speaks multiple languages, pious and she doesn't bore me when she talks. Today I decided to next her. I've tried a few times to make plans with her but to no avail.

Some questions for you:


(1)Can you fuck her career?
(2)Can you fuck her two degrees?
(3)Can you fuck her college degrees?
(4)Do religious people suggest open relationships?


All of those do not make a women a good catch. A good body and good personality do. trust me, I have learned it in not so easy way.

Post: #10

Sounds like you went from FWB to friend zone at the drop of a hat.

If she is as religious as you say, then she may feel a little guilty because she most likely has other guys that she is banging. Probably feeling a little slutty so she is trying to justify why she doesn't want to fuck you anymore.

You did the right thing going radio silent. No man wants to be an emotional tampon while he gets no ass.

Post: #11

(10-01-2017 06:31 PM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  In my experience, women are pretty terrible at staying just FWB. Sooner or later they catch feelings, even if they were the one who suggested keeping it casual to begin with.

Or they monkeybranch up to the guy that ticks more of her boxes.

I treat FWB as sort of a nebulous zone inbetween friend-zone and a real lover. I don't think women put men in there unless there's something about the man that they feel is lacking. There's enough trust and comfort built up for her to allow him to bang her, but nothing more. I used to think the glass was half full because I treated women granting me sexual access as a monumental deal, but now I can see the other side.

Speaking out of personal experience, FWB can become a tempting crutch for both genders, a sort of minor-leagues while they avoid the pain of being alone or the risk of going out there and meeting new people. When you're insecure, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

The same way there is a nofap movement it might be advisable to have a no-fwb policy in order to force yourself to go find the type of woman you're really into.

Post: #12

(10-02-2017 08:53 AM)Irenicus Wrote:  OP, you did a right thing.

Quote:A little over a month ago i picked up an FWB from my dance class. She suggested being FWB, cool right? Well, that lasted up until a week ago. She says she wants to reevaluate our relationship so she doesn't want to have sex anymore but she still wants to spend time with me. I figured that this meant that she wanted to start dating but I'm not down for that.

From what I have seen, she does not want a LTR with you.

Basically, she wants your time and money in exchange for...small talk. That's...not a very equitable trade, in my honest opinion.

Also, there is a possibility (small one) that this is a shit test. Most men would fail it. By not contacting her, I would say that you passed it.

Quote:So, I didn't next her and instead i wanted to keep her in my back pocket. Why? because she is actually a good catch. Career, two degrees, speaks multiple languages, pious and she doesn't bore me when she talks. Today I decided to next her. I've tried a few times to make plans with her but to no avail.

Some questions for you:


(1)Can you fuck her career?
(2)Can you fuck her two degrees?
(3)Can you fuck her college degrees?
(4)Do religious people suggest open relationships?


All of those do not make a women a good catch. A good body and good personality do. trust me, I have learned it in not so easy way.

Now that you mention it I suppose it seems that she doesn't want an LTR. Cool with me.

I'm gonna keep those questions in the back of my head.

I'll definitely remember that.

(10-02-2017 09:31 AM)Remington Wrote:  Sounds like you went from FWB to friend zone at the drop of a hat.

If she is as religious as you say, then she may feel a little guilty because she most likely has other guys that she is banging. Probably feeling a little slutty so she is trying to justify why she doesn't want to fuck you anymore.

You did the right thing going radio silent. No man wants to be an emotional tampon while he gets no ass.

Talk about a hit to the ego. It's funny you say that, I almost always assume that whoever I'm banging has someone else on the side.

Thank you.

(10-02-2017 02:45 PM)questor70 Wrote:  

(10-01-2017 06:31 PM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  In my experience, women are pretty terrible at staying just FWB. Sooner or later they catch feelings, even if they were the one who suggested keeping it casual to begin with.

Or they monkeybranch up to the guy that ticks more of her boxes.

I treat FWB as sort of a nebulous zone inbetween friend-zone and a real lover. I don't think women put men in there unless there's something about the man that they feel is lacking. There's enough trust and comfort built up for her to allow him to bang her, but nothing more. I used to think the glass was half full because I treated women granting me sexual access as a monumental deal, but now I can see the other side.

Speaking out of personal experience, FWB can become a tempting crutch for both genders, a sort of minor-leagues while they avoid the pain of being alone or the risk of going out there and meeting new people. When you're insecure, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

The same way there is a nofap movement it might be advisable to have a no-fwb policy in order to force yourself to go find the type of woman you're really into.

That's interesting, I'm always on the hunt for the right type of woman. This one just happened to be a pit stop along the way.

Post: #13

(10-03-2017 07:00 PM)Stroked351w Wrote:  

(10-02-2017 09:31 AM)Remington Wrote:  Sounds like you went from FWB to friend zone at the drop of a hat.

If she is as religious as you say, then she may feel a little guilty because she most likely has other guys that she is banging. Probably feeling a little slutty so she is trying to justify why she doesn't want to fuck you anymore.

You did the right thing going radio silent. No man wants to be an emotional tampon while he gets no ass.

Talk about a hit to the ego. It's funny you say that, I almost always assume that whoever I'm banging has someone else on the side.

Thank you.

Hey man, I always assume a girl has multiple guys on the side. Ever since I wrote the thread about getting cheated on, I always assume a woman will never truly love your or remain loyal because she will always be looking for the next best thing (in her mind).

The only people I really trust are my male friends.

Post: #14

(10-01-2017 05:38 PM)Stroked351w Wrote:  .....she doesn't want to have sex anymore but she still wants to spend time with me.

As Remington already mentioned, you have been placed in the friend zone. You already got what you wanted. There is no need to stick around and be her male buddy.

Go and find another good looking girl in your dance class to occupy your time.

Post: #15

(10-04-2017 07:05 AM)Remington Wrote:  

(10-03-2017 07:00 PM)Stroked351w Wrote:  

(10-02-2017 09:31 AM)Remington Wrote:  Sounds like you went from FWB to friend zone at the drop of a hat.

If she is as religious as you say, then she may feel a little guilty because she most likely has other guys that she is banging. Probably feeling a little slutty so she is trying to justify why she doesn't want to fuck you anymore.

You did the right thing going radio silent. No man wants to be an emotional tampon while he gets no ass.

Talk about a hit to the ego. It's funny you say that, I almost always assume that whoever I'm banging has someone else on the side.

Thank you.

Hey man, I always assume a girl has multiple guys on the side. Ever since I wrote the thread about getting cheated on, I always assume a woman will never truly love your or remain loyal because she will always be looking for the next best thing (in her mind).

The only people I really trust are my male friends.

Same here, I do my best not to be cynical though. I do trust my female family members. But then again everyone has their secrets right?

Post: #16

I should have added my family in the small circle of people I trust. Forgot to mention that part.