Post: #26

(02-26-2018 10:52 PM)Suits Wrote:  

(02-26-2018 09:50 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  Years ago I used to invite girls over to listen to music...

How old are you?

I remember exactly where I was the day dirt was invented

Post: #27

I asked her out tonight again:

She just says 'Hey, how are you, 'I can't''.

She said this before when she couldn't, but said something like ''maybe tomorrow'' or wanted to make other plans.

Pretty sure, she ran out of patience, or met someone else.
Probably I should move on here? Don't even know how to reply on that message. I guess I will just ignore, and maybe ask her out another day.

Post: #28

(02-27-2018 03:21 AM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

(02-26-2018 10:52 PM)Suits Wrote:  

(02-26-2018 09:50 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  Years ago I used to invite girls over to listen to music...

How old are you?

I remember exactly where I was the day dirt was invented

Was "hey baby, do you wanna come over to my place and listen to the B-side of the new Rolling Stones album?" Netflix and chill before there was a Netflix?

Post: #29

(02-27-2018 09:21 AM)Kentemo Wrote:  I asked her out tonight again:

She just says 'Hey, how are you, 'I can't''.

She said this before when she couldn't, but said something like ''maybe tomorrow'' or wanted to make other plans.

Pretty sure, she ran out of patience, or met someone else.
Probably I should move on here? Don't even know how to reply on that message. I guess I will just ignore, and maybe ask her out another day.

yeah move on bro. The best thing about this is you can use this anger and sadness as a motivator or even actual fuel to better yourself.

Generic advice but you would be surprised what kinda motivator heartbreak is

Post: #30

(02-27-2018 09:21 AM)Kentemo Wrote:  I asked her out tonight again:

She just says 'Hey, how are you, 'I can't''.

She said this before when she couldn't, but said something like ''maybe tomorrow'' or wanted to make other plans.

Pretty sure, she ran out of patience, or met someone else.
Probably I should move on here? Don't even know how to reply on that message. I guess I will just ignore, and maybe ask her out another day.

No sweat. Just go dark on her and she'll probably reach out to you in a few days. Once youre out of the same house she will be curious what youre up to

But in the meantime look for new opportunities to engage new girls. Theyre all around you.

Post: #31

(02-27-2018 09:21 AM)Kentemo Wrote:  I asked her out tonight again:

She just says 'Hey, how are you, 'I can't''.

She said this before when she couldn't, but said something like ''maybe tomorrow'' or wanted to make other plans.

Pretty sure, she ran out of patience, or met someone else.
Probably I should move on here? Don't even know how to reply on that message. I guess I will just ignore, and maybe ask her out another day.

Sounds like you let too much time go by since you made the last move 5 days ago unfortunately. If you weren't living together 4-5 day probably would have been fine, but since you see her everyday and didn't keep up the vibe you are friendzoned now.

Also, you know this already but 4 dates to make the first move to begin with was too much. You might have already been friendzoned before and didn't even know it even though you still got the makeout. Her being surprised when you kissed her kind of hints at that.

Only way to save this situation now is if you can concoct a plan/scheme a way to get both of you shit faced together in the apartment tonight/tomorrow. Then I think it will still happen.

Otherwise, just learn from this situation and remember next time to always be closing. If you are not constantly moving the ball down the court you will get friendzoned.

Post: #32

(02-27-2018 09:21 AM)Suits Wrote:  

(02-27-2018 03:21 AM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

(02-26-2018 10:52 PM)Suits Wrote:  

(02-26-2018 09:50 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  Years ago I used to invite girls over to listen to music...

How old are you?

I remember exactly where I was the day dirt was invented

Was "hey baby, do you wanna come over to my place and listen to the B-side of the new Rolling Stones album?" Netflix and chill before there was a Netflix?

Side 1 Led Zeppelin 4 of course


What are you?... new?

Post: #33

All the advice so far has been top notch, I couldn't add to it.

At the risk of triggering your monkey brain into clutching at yet more imagination bananas, I have a question about your question "What the f*ck is wrong with me": what if nothing is wrong with you? Did you honestly decide for yourself that pursuing casual sex is an important thing in your life? And did you also decide that intimacy=sex, or that you can't have the former without the latter, or that if intimacy doesn't lead to sex, then you are a failure?

I'm not moralising against fornication, for one thing that would make a staggering hypocrite, although I do invite you to ponder for yourself whether it is inherently worthwhile. I am saying be careful what you wish for. As a poet once said, more or less, "I go hunting for deer, and end up running for my life from a wild hog. I set traps for others, and fall in myself. I should be suspicious of what I want."

Make no mistake, we live in a time where sex and desire are deliberate weapons of mass distraction, deployed by people who do not have your interests at heart. Modern media means that we are effectively forced to compare ourselves to, often totally illusory, images of men living a James Bond Rockstar life of immense sexual satisfaction with multiple avatars of Dione. Surely that must be a worthy goal, right? If you don't achieve a slice of that, you must be a loser with no balls, right?

This is not game advice, it's life advice. Do as you please with it.
If you focus on getting causal sex, it may well leave you unsatisfied, with a phantom's handful of masturbation worthy memories and some cool stories to entertain the lads, not to mention all sorts of mundane problems like STD's, illegitimate children, general heartbreak/jadedness, and an unconscionable amount of months of your life lost dillydallying in clubs and bars and malls.
If you focus on being present, attending to the work of the day and the people you care for (rather than fantasies of the future and screwing girls), and exercising your masculine virtue in the spirit of great gratitude for the extraordinarily extravagant and unearned gift of being alive, well, I submit that this will enrich all your days, pussy or no, and make you much more attractive to quality girls in the bargain.

Post: #34

(02-28-2018 04:41 AM)PondScum Wrote:  Make no mistake, we live in a time where sex and desire are deliberate weapons of mass distraction, deployed by people who do not have your interests at heart. Modern media means that we are effectively forced to compare ourselves to, often totally illusory, images of men living a James Bond Rockstar life of immense sexual satisfaction with multiple avatars of Dione. Surely that must be a worthy goal, right? If you don't achieve a slice of that, you must be a loser with no balls, right?

I WOULD SAY unless you have great game and great looks today is a HORRIBLE TIME for men.

With the #Meto and the large increase in men looking for relationships, it has been a huge gap between people who are almost completely MGTOW and people who are begging for a girlfriend. hovering above that gap is the few people like us who want the James bond rockstar lifestyle

From what I see in America at least, a lot of guys want relationships and a lot of girls want to be sluts. Those guys might sleep around with a number of women in an attempt to find a gf.

Its never been easier for men to find and get sex, but with the personality of men nowadays and the push from the media many men are either afraid of women or are complete simps

Post: #35

Thanks PapayaTapper and WTF, I think it's still possible with this girl, but I'll see if she will text me in the next couple of days.
Getting drunk tonight is not really an option right now. Going to an ''intercambio'' event tonight, and will try to meet some new people. It will do me good.

(02-28-2018 04:41 AM)PondScum Wrote:  All the advice so far has been top notch, I couldn't add to it.

I agree. I've got some really great advice here. Seems like a lot of people are not only successful in game, but also business & life, and have a great mindset.

I agree that I used the wrong title. Maybe just because I was a bit annoyed with this particular girl and how it all played out. Definitely learned a lot already what not to do..

Game for me is a way to improve myself as a person. Next time when a girl shows interest and I'm interested as well, I want to know how to act, instead of giving fear the upper hand. In the end this will make me a more confident person as well.

Right now, I actually do need casual sex. It's an aspect of life I'm missing. I mean after 3 years I believe I am staying a lot more positive than most guys would haha. Of course I want it to be with a girl I like. Not interested to have sex with a really drunk girl, or do P2P. I just want to be ready when the opportunity present itself, and in the meantime just want to hang around a lot of girl and have a fun time. Nothing wrong with that.

Of course there are a lot more important things in life. Having good friends/family, focus on creating a lifestyle business for myself, really love someone,etc.. I'll definitely make sure not to neglect those things, but in the mean time nothing wrong with improving myself.

Post: #36

You might try telling girls that you like about your feelings. Tell them you are nervous or whatever, without explaining yourself or your history, just be up front with what's going on in you. Maybe say that you've been up to your neck in work with no social life for a long time, but no more than that.
You aren't trying to justify your feelings and never put yourself down for having them, I'm just saying try putting them on the table and moving on with the conversation.

This is not a game strategy, although I can tell you that it's not an instant dealbreaker either with a lot of friendlier/non-bitchy girls. It's a short term tactic to get you out of your head, unstifled and over this mental hump. And a funny thing often happens when you are a bit vulnerable and tell people about your discomfort: it usually turns into excited energy and rapport. There's a good chance she'll launch into a saga about her feelz. Be attentive for a little while, but don't let her drone on for ten minutes. Be prepared to interrupt her at some suitable point, rock the safe little conversation boat and say something like "Jane, thank you for sharing that with me, now let's leave the therapy session behind us and hit the dancefloor / change venue / convo topic".

Post: #37

^ Lemme guess. You spend a lot of time on XO Jane reading articles about what girls want written by girls don't you

Post: #38

(02-28-2018 12:29 PM)PondScum Wrote:  You might try telling girls that you like about your feelings. Tell them you are nervous or whatever, without explaining yourself or your history, just be up front with what's going on in you. Maybe say that you've been up to your neck in work with no social life for a long time, but no more than that.
You aren't trying to justify your feelings and never put yourself down for having them, I'm just saying try putting them on the table and moving on with the conversation.

This is not a game strategy, although I can tell you that it's not an instant dealbreaker either with a lot of friendlier/non-bitchy girls. It's a short term tactic to get you out of your head, unstifled and over this mental hump. And a funny thing often happens when you are a bit vulnerable and tell people about your discomfort: it usually turns into excited energy and rapport. There's a good chance she'll launch into a saga about her feelz. Be attentive for a little while, but don't let her drone on for ten minutes. Be prepared to interrupt her at some suitable point, rock the safe little conversation boat and say something like "Jane, thank you for sharing that with me, now let's leave the therapy session behind us and hit the dancefloor / change venue / convo topic".

Yeah you're definitely a male feminist

Post: #39

Holy Mother of God, PondScum...

Put down Teen magazine...

Post: #40

Lol, you guys are on fire!

I learned that thing about telling people you feel nervous to get over your nervousness in newbie cold call sales training years ago, and I have irl deployed it romantically twice with 8s when feeling depressed and antisocial.

In case anyone missed it, the operative part of my post is "This is not a game strategy... It's a short term tactic to get you out of your head, unstifled and over this mental hump."

Remember that we are offering advice to a man who is so stuck in his head today that he can't bonk a fish in a barrel, no offence meant, OP, so my suggestion was a baby step in the right direction. Physical escalation is just being comfortable expressing how you feel manually so to speak, so I'm suggesting get started verbally, get past the initial awkwardness and get over this frame of mind where he isn't tickling the trout like that slutty trout wants.

But yeah, op, just slap yourself in the face and get fishing. Don't do what I said earlier.

Post: #41

Haha, no offense taken PondScum. How you used this strategy with 2 8's while feeling depressed is beyond me.. But you probably did something right then.

Sorry but I think this is terrible advice. Talking about my feelings at this stage will make things even more awkward.
And even if she reacts positive, I still have to act. So why not just act immediately?
I know this is probably your point too, and you just give this advice because I'm a beginner, but I rather get some actionable advice. So she knows I like her.

It's true that a lot of the stuff is in my head, and I just sabotage myself.
I need to be able to show her my feelings. That's the point.

Asking for validation and talking about feelings is terrible advice. Even for a guy that can't ''bonk a fish in a barrel''

Post: #42

I guess that's a tactic, but it puts you at a much weaker position. Might as well give her your credit cards and tell her to do what she will.

Come on, Gents. Seduce the woman. You're not trying to make her your psychologist.

Post: #43

(02-28-2018 08:08 PM)PondScum Wrote:  I learned that thing about telling people you feel nervous to get over your nervousness in newbie cold call sales training years ago, and I have irl deployed it romantically twice with 8s when feeling depressed and antisocial.

This shows a fundamental lack of understanding of the human female attraction response sequence. A woman's visceral response to weakness, be it awkwardness, vulnerability, self deprecation is repulsion*... with very few exceptions

(*Older broads can be an exception)

(02-28-2018 08:08 PM)PondScum Wrote:  In case anyone missed it, the operative part of my post is "This is not a game strategy... It's a short term tactic to get you out of your head, unstifled and over this mental hump."

I agree. Its not a game strategy. Its a "how to get pegged by a fem dom" strategy

Its bad advice

Post: #44

(02-28-2018 11:50 AM)Kentemo Wrote:  Thanks PapayaTapper and WTF, I think it's still possible with this girl, but I'll see if she will text me in the next couple of days.
Getting drunk tonight is not really an option right now. Going to an ''intercambio'' event tonight, and will try to meet some new people. It will do me good.

(02-28-2018 04:41 AM)PondScum Wrote:  All the advice so far has been top notch, I couldn't add to it.

I agree. I've got some really great advice here. Seems like a lot of people are not only successful in game, but also business & life, and have a great mindset.

I agree that I used the wrong title. Maybe just because I was a bit annoyed with this particular girl and how it all played out. Definitely learned a lot already what not to do..

Game for me is a way to improve myself as a person. Next time when a girl shows interest and I'm interested as well, I want to know how to act, instead of giving fear the upper hand. In the end this will make me a more confident person as well.

Right now, I actually do need casual sex. It's an aspect of life I'm missing. I mean after 3 years I believe I am staying a lot more positive than most guys would haha. Of course I want it to be with a girl I like. Not interested to have sex with a really drunk girl, or do P2P. I just want to be ready when the opportunity present itself, and in the meantime just want to hang around a lot of girl and have a fun time. Nothing wrong with that.

Of course there are a lot more important things in life. Having good friends/family, focus on creating a lifestyle business for myself, really love someone,etc.. I'll definitely make sure not to neglect those things, but in the mean time nothing wrong with improving myself.

^ I can tell already...youre going to be way alright amigo

Post: #45

(02-28-2018 09:04 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  ^ I can tell already...youre going to be way alright amigo

Thanks mate, I'm sure I will!

Update: She just send me a message 20 min ago (it's 3 am, I am up since I do some work at night, she's usually asleep at around 10pm), that ''she hasn't seen me ''
I wrote her a message today with something relevant (couldn't help myself haha).
I am moving out of the appartment tomorrow morning.

Really good sign.. Not going to act now, or it will be weird. But seems like, somehow, she's still interested..
Edit: if I knew what to do, this would probably be the best opportunity..

Post: #46

(02-28-2018 09:19 PM)Kentemo Wrote:  Update: She just send me a message 20 min ago (it's 3 am, I am up since I do some work at night), that ''she hasn't seen me '' after I wrote her a message today with something relevant (couldn't help myself)
I am moving out of the appartment tomorrow morning.

Really good sign.. Not going to act now, or it will be weird. But seems like, somehow, she's still interested..

Hold the line. I know its counter intuitive right now but keeping her curious as what your up to (guessing) is leveraging 10's of thousand of years of biology. Women love uncertainty.

The quicker you respond the more you defuse that uncertainty. Uncertainty is a key ingredient in sexual tension. That tension is what you want right now



Wait a day or two then invite her to come see the new place on a specific night and time

Post: #47

(02-26-2018 06:07 PM)Kentemo Wrote:  To me, my problem is that I am a social, happy, friendly guy. I can talk easily with everybody. But when a girl shows actual interest in me, I have NO IDEA what I should do to escalate this further. I completely overthink the situation, usually start acting cold, and regret the situation later.. This makes it quite impossible to even advance to a stage of sex.
Now I'm thinking ''meeeh, fucked it up again''. Happens all the time. Not the first time I sabotage myself.

Your problem is much simpler than that.

Find a confidence course. A GOOD one. Player Supreme's was great, but he died last year so I don't know if you can still find it somewhere.

Post: #48

(02-28-2018 09:38 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  Wait a day or two then invite her to come see the new place on a specific night and time

Great advice. And it's weekend then, the only time she can actually relax.
I'll focus a bit on work the next 2 days, and invite her over in the weekend!

Post: #49

@papayatapper (can't get the quote thing to work)

I think you're being deliberately uncharitable and or didn't read my post past the first sentence.
My suggestion was not intended to help OP bang a particular girl, and I emphasized that he should not do this in a weak/self deprecating way. When I used it in the past, I was simply being congruent and sincere, which is not weakness in my book. Im dealing with Polish and Ukrainian girls, perhaps your local lassies are tougher cookies. Ofc, being tall, handsome and with twenty odd years of relationships behind me all worked in my favour too.

Rather, my suggestion was meant to help the OP break a comfort zone social barrier and move the fuck on.

I'm going to assume that you are, like me, a grown man with years of experience dating attractive girls. Advice that would be totally retarded to you and me can be very useful to someone who is barely crawling, even if only because it proves the sky won't fall on his head when he takes a romantic risk. I remember back when Hypnotica was doing coaching where he made guys go around town with a dildo taped to their forehead to break their self imposed mental barriers. No one would accuse him of being a fake or woteva for giving advice like that, but be honest, which is worse advice: talking about your fee-fees for five minutes to loosen up, or wearing a dildo hat while on the pull?

The answer should be obvious. OP, you know what to do, just use a bandana or something to stop the duct tape sticking to your hair.

Post: #50

(03-01-2018 08:42 AM)PondScum Wrote:  Rather, my suggestion was meant to help the OP break a comfort zone social barrier and move the fuck on.

I already feel comfortable around her. I'm pretty social and I can make her laugh frequently.

Also note that this girl is Latina. In some of these countries the ''machismo'' culture is very real. A more masculine approach is needed here. Talking about emotions at this stage, I will most likely be less desirable to her.

(03-01-2018 08:42 AM)PondScum Wrote:  Even if only because it proves the sky won't fall on his head when he takes a romantic risk.

That's exactly what I should do. TAKE A RISK, and realize that life goes on if she decides to reject me. If I can just ingrain this mindset in my life, it should already be a lot better. Just forget for a moment that I'm a beginner, and give me some pro advice haha. I feel like talking to her and telling my feelings shouldn't be to hard for me, since I can easily talk about anything. It's the easy way out. Showing affection is the hard part for me.

PapayaTapper's advice of going dark on her for a couple of days, and then inviting her, seems like the strategy I should use here.
I should just enjoy my time with her, and make it (a bit more) obvious that I like her then.