Ramses
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Field Report: Going Out Solo
Field report #1
This is the first time i write a field report of me going out. I have been trying going out solo because my friends are shit at picking up girls, so i thought i'd be better off going alone.
Last week I tested out going solo to bars with very little success. I was just sitting down looking at my phone all the time. But it gave me an idea on how it would go.
I was terrified at first, thinking that everybody would spot me and call me out on going out solo. But that does not happened and eventually i got used to it.
So this night was my first real night going out solo. I left my phone in my car so i could not watch it when i was feeling like it.
I went to a place with alot of bars, and went in the one with most people. It was a big sausage fest (5 guys per girl). I bought a beer and was dancing and chilling out a bit.
I was pretty stressed out, I saw 2 girls at the bars and decided i had to talk to one of them.
I tapped her on the shoulder and said "When does this bar close?" (In french). She didnt understand me so i repeated it. She still didnt understand it, and then i realised she was Spanish and could only talk English. After we talked for a bit and then she left with her drink and her friends.
I survived my first aproach...
After that i went outside and saw a really hot girl alone on her phone at the bar outside. I went to her and opened with "Do you speak French?" (in french) she said no, and i continued in English with "Do you know another bar with better music and atmosphere?". She said that she was Italian and only visiting Brussels. So after we talked for a bit and suddenly her 3 friends come around. They all greet me as if i am a good friend of the Italian chick.
After I talked for a while with a friend of her. She was not hot but very nice, we talked for a while and then they decided to leave, and so did I.
Nothing amazing happened. But I'm happy on how my first night out solo went.
It wasnt as terrifying as I thought.
The problem is in Brussel you have a shit ton of expats, and when i open them i never know in what language i should start. Because most of them dont understand French. And my openers will fail most of the time because the girl just cant understand what I say..
Well I'm currious to see how my other nights will go.
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| 04-12-2018 08:13 PM |
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Ramses
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RE: Field Report: Going Out Solo
(04-12-2018 10:59 PM)luckyfever Wrote: Keep it up man. Looking forward to hearing about your other nights.
Any strategy changes moving forward?
I will be looking for more openers, because during last night, there were some moments i could not approach because the few openers i had were not good in the situation.
Do you have any good openers for night/bar?
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| 04-13-2018 06:19 AM |
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tobehero
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RE: Field Report: Going Out Solo
(04-13-2018 06:19 AM)Ramses Wrote: (04-12-2018 10:59 PM)luckyfever Wrote: Keep it up man. Looking forward to hearing about your other nights.
Any strategy changes moving forward?
I will be looking for more openers, because during last night, there were some moments i could not approach because the few openers i had were not good in the situation.
Do you have any good openers for night/bar?
Google.... There are a million openers.
Not opening because of not having the "right" opener is a bad habit to fall into.
Going up and saying "hi" would have been better than nothing.
'You Miss 100% Of The Shots You Don't Take."
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| 04-13-2018 06:45 AM |
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Ramses
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RE: Field Report: Going Out Solo
(04-13-2018 06:45 AM)tobehero Wrote: (04-13-2018 06:19 AM)Ramses Wrote: (04-12-2018 10:59 PM)luckyfever Wrote: Keep it up man. Looking forward to hearing about your other nights.
Any strategy changes moving forward?
I will be looking for more openers, because during last night, there were some moments i could not approach because the few openers i had were not good in the situation.
Do you have any good openers for night/bar?
Google.... There are a million openers.
Not opening because of not having the "right" opener is a bad habit to fall into.
Going up and saying "hi" would have been better than nothing.
'You Miss 100% Of The Shots You Don't Take."
I agree with that. But when i google for openers I feel like most of them are really retarded stupid.
Not sure if just saying "hi" would cut it here. It would just get weird after that.
For now i prefer to not aproach if i dont feel it would work. Maybe later when i have more experience i would.
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| 04-13-2018 07:39 AM |
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Ramses
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RE: Field Report: Going Out Solo
(04-13-2018 10:16 AM)Ski pro Wrote: 'You look like the sort of girl that speaks english' In english.
If she only speaks French then it's an automatic DHV because you're in the rare percentage of guys who approach and you can do it in two languages.
Also better than 'vous parlez français?' because that's a closed question.
Genuinely curious to know when you speak to French chicks how quickly you change from.vous to tu?
Here in Brussels almost everybody can speak French/English. Except the expats. They only can speak english and their own language.
That opener seems good, but that would mean i could use that opener only.. ever.
I think i will try to spot if she is foreigner or not and then say an opener in English. But if she speaks French it would be strange after.
In a club/bar you would never use "vous", thats too formal. That would never get you anywhere. In an aproach on the street you would say "vous", and transition asap to "tu"
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| 04-13-2018 11:24 AM |
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Ramses
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RE: Field Report: Going Out Solo
(04-13-2018 10:23 AM)tobehero Wrote: (04-13-2018 07:39 AM)Ramses Wrote: I agree with that. But when i google for openers I feel like most of them are really retarded stupid.
Not sure if just saying "hi" would cut it here. It would just get weird after that.
For now i prefer to not aproach if i dont feel it would work. Maybe later when i have more experience i would.
All that stuff is field tested. The main question now is not what to you need to say:
you care too much what people think or how "cool" an opener must be...
if you can't go up to girls and say "hi" without it being weird.. then you have more things to focus on then finding some fancy line....
Yeah, not sure why i would just use 'hi' when i can come up with much better opener, that paves the way for a conversation much easier.
What other openers do you use instead of 'hi'?
(This post was last modified: 04-13-2018 11:30 AM by Ramses.)
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| 04-13-2018 11:28 AM |
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monsquid
Chubby Chaser
 
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RE: Field Report: Going Out Solo
Keep it up bro. It's very hard but it helped me a lot back in 2010-2012 when I was pushing myself the most in terms of game and self improvement. The thing is very few guys, even those who are good looking and do well social circle wise, have the balls to go out solo. It's a different mindset.
These are some of the things I learned from my solo excursions:
- Nobody gives a shit about you. Meaning that everyone is concerned with themselves. Nobody cares that you are out alone or whatever. Most people are pre-occupied with their own situation/insecurities. And we already know this from going out with friends, especially if you are drinking.
- You learn to deal with rejection. I used to get rejected right away by saying ridiculous things to throwaway sets to jump start my system. I learned this trick from an old PUA video, basically if you are going out solo you go up to a group of women and say the most awkward shit and get immediately rejected. The point is not to win them over, although over time it becomes an opener in itself. But I used to go up to a set and say "Hi I'm trying to be as awkward as possible..." and then say random shit. I know it's stupid but it works. After the first blowout you feel exchilerated and most importantly you realize none of this shit matters. Eventually I would use the "awkward" opener and get sets to stick. They would be curious and then I transition to normal humor, but that was just from doing it many times and not feeling anxious about it.
- Going out solo is hard but there's a lot to learn about yourself. Don't drink too much, none at all if you can help it. Worst thing you can do is go out solo and end up wasted and frustrated because you didn't go anywhere. It's happened to me before, but now I know to keep sober and if I get no hits on a solo night out I go back home sober and get rest to live and fight for another day.
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| 04-13-2018 01:59 PM |
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