Post: #1

Hi, I'm approaching my 24th birthday (in 2 weeks) and I feel stuck in life, social life especially, would appreciate some advice. I'll try to keep it short.

I was born with social phobia and due to that I avoided people at all cost. No one really cared so I just spent most of my life playing video games.
Was bullied in middle school and that's when my self-esteem or any kind of self-respect hit rock bottom, especially with girls.
Around 4 years ago got sick of it, I started my self-improvement journey, got better socially (almost completely killed my social phobia), improved my looks, discovered PUA and red pill,
got a part time job, finishing studies soon but I still am a virgin living with my parents, never been in any social circle either, not sure how relationships work, just feeling completely alienated from society to be honest.
Depressed by the whole situation in my life I don't actually get much things done and my social life is not improving much either.
Also fapping every other day probably doesn't help, I've tried no-fap but never went more than 20 days in a row.

I have approached women (2 or 3) but never got any IOIs, and even if I did I don't know if I could muster the courage to escalate anyway.
Also I just don't frequent place where there are many women, my hobbies (lifting, basketball, video games) and studies (computer science) are pretty much male exclusive.

I tried going out alone but I just feel like a creep and don't talk to anyone. Also I lost eye sight in my right eye as a kid and it makes some social situations additionaly awkward and lowers my self-esteem even more.

Thoughts?

Post: #2

1. Create a brotherhood with the people u hoop with, lift with...very easy to do

2. Go out with them somewhere

3. Stop fapping immediately

4. Keep up with self improvement

5. Create your persona/personality. Figure out who you want to be.

6. Learn to love yourself, it’ll help you figure out who you want to be.

7. Continue to approach girls and getting numbers. Escalating is learning to master the bold move

8. Read the 24(?) keys to seduction from
The art of seduction Robert Greene (just to know signs you’re being seduced)

9. Realize your eye is apart of you. If you’re confident about it some girls might find it cute!

Post: #3

Hi Nabuchodonozor ,

Had a couple of suggestions . Can you get a job where you can socialize and meet more new people. This would make it a more natural and easy way to meet new people. Also have you tried social groups like couch surfing , language tandems , meet ups etc as at these places it may be more easier to interact with people than cold approaching .

Post: #4

Nabuchodonozor, you are not alone as this is a frequent theme here on Rooshv. One thing that I have recommended to others with similar social challenges, is a group called "Toastmasters International."

The Poland branch - https://toastmasters.pl/en/

They are typically very welcoming, and the structure of the group's activities promotes participation. Have a look and see if it might be something for you.

Post: #5

Join the local rugby team. Instant social circle, purpose and physical fitness.

Post: #6

When someone looks at you, is it obvious to them that you've lost your eye sight? Does the eye you lost your sight in look different that the other one?

Post: #7

(03-15-2018 07:08 PM)arsenal2000 Wrote:  Hi Nabuchodonozor ,

Had a couple of suggestions . Can you get a job where you can socialize and meet more new people. This would make it a more natural and easy way to meet new people. Also have you tried social groups like couch surfing , language tandems , meet ups etc as at these places it may be more easier to interact with people than cold approaching .

Not really, I'm going to be a software engineer most likely. Meet ups seem like a good idea if I can convince myself to go.

(03-16-2018 01:14 PM)Baphomet Wrote:  Nabuchodonozor, you are not alone as this is a frequent theme here on Rooshv. One thing that I have recommended to others with similar social challenges, is a group called "Toastmasters International."

The Poland branch - https://toastmasters.pl/en/

They are typically very welcoming, and the structure of the group's activities promotes participation. Have a look and see if it might be something for you.

Yeah, I was thinking about it, I'm terrible at (and terrified of) public speaking, I will try that for sure.

(03-16-2018 02:35 PM)SiverFox Wrote:  Join the local rugby team. Instant social circle, purpose and physical fitness.

I try to avoid heavy physical contact sports, I don't want to lose my other eye. Also I suck at team sports in general - my peripheral vision is bad.

(03-16-2018 03:04 PM)LINUX Wrote:  When someone looks at you, is it obvious to them that you've lost your eye sight? Does the eye you lost your sight in look different that the other one?

Depends on the distance and angle but generally speaking when I'm 5 meters+ away, you're gonna notice something's wrong. Up close it looks better, similar to what John F. Kennedy eyes looked like. On pictures it always looks gross though.

Post: #8

(03-16-2018 06:10 PM)Nabuchodonozor Wrote:  [quote='arsenal2000' pid='1751983' dateline='1521158908']
Hi Nabuchodonozor ,

Had a couple of suggestions . Can you get a job where you can socialize and meet more new people. This would make it a more natural and easy way to meet new people. Also have you tried social groups like couch surfing , language tandems , meet ups etc as at these places it may be more easier to interact with people than cold approaching .


Not really, I'm going to be a software engineer most likely. Meet ups seem like a good idea if I can convince myself to go.

I used to work in software early in my career. You are correct it does not help to advance social skills . Can you look at joining volunteer groups in your spare time. In most of these volunteer groups I have noticed the ratio of girls is higher compared to men. The girls in these groups feel that you share things in common with them making conversations easy.It could put your interactions with woman at ease and help develop your skills.

Post: #9

Find some popular cafeteria with big, common table, take your laptop and do some coding there (Roosh style). There will be other people, doing their work probably. Chat with them, whether they are male or female. You don't need to have particular goal (like getting number of a girl). You can also try to chat in market line, in shops, etc. Just for warming up to idea of doing some more bold things.

Post: #10

Got my first kiss 2 days ago.

I was at a party with people I've worked with and after 4 beers I randomly started hugging this girl (I only knew her by sight), I don't know how that happened but soon we were kissing. Then we took a taxi to her place and continued to make out naked in bed. I slept over and left in the morning, haven't heard from her since.

Felt like a dream after being starved of physical affection all my life to finally make something happen (even if it was drunk).

Anyway, still wasting a lot of time in front of my PC and not putting myself in social situations enough. But it's hard to convince my stupid brain to go by myself to places where I don't know anyone.

Post: #11

(04-22-2018 07:09 PM)Nabuchodonozor Wrote:  Got my first kiss 2 days ago.

I was at a party with people I've worked with and after 4 beers I randomly started hugging this girl (I only knew her by sight), I don't know how that happened but soon we were kissing. Then we took a taxi to her place and continued to make out naked in bed. I slept over and left in the morning, haven't heard from her since.

Felt like a dream after being starved of physical affection all my life to finally make something happen (even if it was drunk).

Anyway, still wasting a lot of time in front of my PC and not putting myself in social situations enough. But it's hard to convince my stupid brain to go by myself to places where I don't know anyone.

First of all


As for how to convince yourself do something you have trouble doing, I follow the one-step-at-a-time method. It's exactly what it sounds. Instead of thinking "I will go out to a bar full of people I don't know" simply think about the next simple step in the process. Something like:

1) I'll get dressed.
2) I'll leave the house.
3) I'll walk/take the bus downtown.
4) I'll get off at the XYZ street with the all the bars/pubs etc.
5) I'll go in and check a few of them.
6) I'll stay in one if I like it.
7) I'll get a beer and chill by the bar.

Who knows, a few steps later you might be saying "I'll let her play with my not-so-little friend".

Give it a shot.

Post: #12

Let's say a girl I'm interested in asks about my eyes: "Is something wrong with your eyes?" or something similar. What would you reply? Right now I'm thinking to either try to ignore it or pretend they're healthy and say that I'm just tired. Also I'm thinking about removing my sick eye and getting a prosthesis, they look really good.

Post: #13

You can start by being a persona thats attractive to women. You don't even have to start with gaming-women specifically. Just start with improving yourself as a human being. Go to the gym, earn cash, build up your instagram profile, learn some guitar songs. Just attractive things in general. Then start with something easy, go to meetups, music pubs, sing karoke. Talk to bartenders.

Once you have an established base, you can try some of the harder things like cold approaching. Eventually daygaming. Women can sense a man's worth. If you feel you are not worth it even to yourself, women can sense that. If you have good belief that you have your life figured out- naturally you'll have an abundance mentality and all will snowball and work to your favor

@OP Btw you are in Warsaw? I'm going over to Poland possible this year

Post: #14

This is a medical question so you should consult a doctor.

If the girl is asking about your eye just tell her whatever is up with it.

That said I have a buddy that lost his eye in combat. He's got a mean looking eye patch that he wears out and does very well with the women. He also has a prosthetic and I can barely tell it's fake even having known him before he lost it.

If you workout i.e. lift heavy, focus on your career and your style that pirate socket will help your game rather than hinder it.

Post: #15

(05-15-2018 02:59 PM)Nabuchodonozor Wrote:  Let's say a girl I'm interested in asks about my eyes: "Is something wrong with your eyes?" or something similar. What would you reply? Right now I'm thinking to either try to ignore it or pretend they're healthy and say that I'm just tired. Also I'm thinking about removing my sick eye and getting a prosthesis, they look really good.

Just saw your post @OP. Regarding this the best mentality of "you ignore what you can't change. you focus on what you can"

I am in the same boat as you brother. My leg is half short (just a couple CM, not as in crippled --but sometimes girls notice), it's a gene thing. I just say, "it's my parents gene, I guess you not gonna like me now huh?" usually they go oh no, I didn't mean that at all. I don't mind. Works in your favor

Post: #16

(05-15-2018 04:19 PM)AceP Wrote:  I just say, "it's my parents gene, I guess you not gonna like me now huh?"

Why would you say that? To me it sounds like such a "I feel sorry for myself" thing to say... Just own it.

Post: #17

Well there's many ways to handle it really. This is just one method, is not to make a big deal of it and laugh/joke with it. And all depends on calibration (if shes already super into you -you can get away with almost anything). Self dis-qualification is a legit gaming tactic "I'm too old for you honey", she'll go "not you're not, you're cool"

I always joked with my girls that "I was alone at valentines day. I'm so sad, forever alone me. Even you dont like me" but she knows "It's not that. I swear you're only single because you choose to be, I know you have lots of options"

Post: #18

(05-15-2018 03:06 PM)AceP Wrote:  You can start by being a persona thats attractive to women. You don't even have to start with gaming-women specifically. Just start with improving yourself as a human being. Go to the gym, earn cash, build up your instagram profile, learn some guitar songs. Just attractive things in general. Then start with something easy, go to meetups, music pubs, sing karoke. Talk to bartenders.

Once you have an established base, you can try some of the harder things like cold approaching. Eventually daygaming. Women can sense a man's worth. If you feel you are not worth it even to yourself, women can sense that. If you have good belief that you have your life figured out- naturally you'll have an abundance mentality and all will snowball and work to your favor

@OP Btw you are in Warsaw? I'm going over to Poland possible this year

I'm actually a decent guitar player Instagram profile? I wouldn't know what to post there.

I'm in Warsaw almost every day.

Post: #19

a troll that wants a glass eye is still a troll

Post: #20

(05-15-2018 05:28 PM)Nabuchodonozor Wrote:  

(05-15-2018 03:06 PM)AceP Wrote:  You can start by being a persona thats attractive to women. You don't even have to start with gaming-women specifically. Just start with improving yourself as a human being. Go to the gym, earn cash, build up your instagram profile, learn some guitar songs. Just attractive things in general. Then start with something easy, go to meetups, music pubs, sing karoke. Talk to bartenders.

Once you have an established base, you can try some of the harder things like cold approaching. Eventually daygaming. Women can sense a man's worth. If you feel you are not worth it even to yourself, women can sense that. If you have good belief that you have your life figured out- naturally you'll have an abundance mentality and all will snowball and work to your favor

@OP Btw you are in Warsaw? I'm going over to Poland possible this year

I'm actually a decent guitar player Instagram profile? I wouldn't know what to post there.

I'm in Warsaw almost every day.

Guitar is a huge DHV if you can own it. Just be comfortable with it, show your guitar off once in a while. People will appreciate it and gives you more self-confidence

Post: #21

Having my first date ever tomorrow (from Tinder).

Agreed to go to a bar for some beers. What to expect, when to escalate, what to talk about? I'm just so clueless and nervous lol.

I don't even know how to greet her.

Post: #22

Join Toastmasters. Join a gym and work with a good trainer. Start wearing an eyepatch.

Post: #23

Quote:I have approached women (2 or 3) but never got any IOIs, and even if I did I don't know if I could muster the courage to escalate anyway.

Buy Roosh's books about game. Look into day game. Do what he tells you to do.
Approach at least 100 girls. And that is just the minimum.

Approaching is the great equalizer. It has potential to steamroll all your issues in one quick swoop. I bet all you can think about are girls anyway. Better just focus on that and go all in.

Post: #24

(05-15-2018 02:59 PM)Nabuchodonozor Wrote:  Let's say a girl I'm interested in asks about my eyes: "Is something wrong with your eyes?" or something similar. What would you reply? Right now I'm thinking to either try to ignore it or pretend they're healthy and say that I'm just tired. Also I'm thinking about removing my sick eye and getting a prosthesis, they look really good.

You should make it obvious that you don't mind talking about it or feel insecure about it. I've heard stories about a USMC veteran who lost his eye and decided to get a unique prosthetic with the logo of the USMC on it. Maybe you should do something similar (just make sure it isn't too gross), or even better, start wearing an eyepatch as some guys already suggested. I think it could look good and be a great conversation starter in social situations, especially if the eyepatch looks interesting.

Just remember to accept yourself for who you are, which includes disabilities and physical defects that you can't really change. Women (and people in general) love confident guys who have a lot of self-respect.

P.S. : USMC is short for United States Marine Corps