Post: #1

Ok,

So, I have recently dated two artist type 21/22 year old women. Both were basically doing no-where jobs while they try to "make it" as musicians/actresses/whatever.

I am 26 years old and work as an engineer. I pretty much have my shit together, as far as non-relationship things go (not bragging, just a little background).

Here is my problem, after so long dating these two women (not at the same time), they both said something similar that I am wondering about. Last night, my new piece started talking about how she is paranoid that I am interested in other women. Here is the convo (keep in mind, this literally came out of nowhere, I was asleep when she started with this nonsense - at 6 AM):

Her: "I just think you need to exhaust more things before commiting to me, I don't wanna get hurt but I dont mind waiting"

Me: Sounds like you're calling it done

Her: I just dunno if I am everything you want I wish I could just feel like i wish i had more to offer

Her: Nooo, I want to be with you..I feel like you still want other women

Me: This is the second time youve brought that up.

Her: I just dont have everything figured out for myself..im afraid you will get bored and move onto another lady who "has her shit together"

Me: Yeah, what I really need is someone else

Her: Cuz im super paranoid i just dont get why you like me for real...i dont feel so important, like, you could have any woman why me?

Her: Well idk, im afraid of being alone

(time passes)

Her: No i just am confused as to if you truly want to pursue us? I've told you what id like...just let me know when you're ready

Me: What? Love? (she's been using the word in conversations)

Her: I really want something stable i dont wanna be wondering anymore. So lets plan to meet and talk in person, but i hope it ends with us together

Here is what I don't get. My previous girl told me that same line about "not being good enough for [me]" because she didn't want to be in a relationship. I let her do her thing, which resulted in her trying to get back with me several times (I told her no each time).

This girl started the conversation with a similar line, but then started talking about all this dumb shit about trying to be in a relationship. Perhaps she has multiple personality disorder, as she does seem to behave in two different manners depending upon her mood.

Should I use agree and amplify more strongly? Keep in mind, I have honestly never given her any sign that I was attracted to other women. Not out of choice or anything, I just haven't had the opportunity to instill jealousy/dread yet (we have only been hanging out together for a little while). This is why I can't understand all of the hamster spinning (unless she is just a really good liar and is attempting to boost my ego or something).

Post: #2

There could be various reasons women say stuff like this. They could be in my experience #1. Trying to get rid of you, #2. Trying to figure out where they stand with you, #3. Shit testing you. It's normally 1 and 3. Pumping and dumping these girls is normally the best course of action in the long run for your sanity.

Post: #3

If you've already fucked, roll out. If not, bang her and then roll.

Either way, this illogic will continue and you will find yourself deeper and deeper into some chicks mindbenders, until you're invested and she gets bored.

Furthermore, sounds like you "long term relationship" potential is high. Personally, I don't think that is a good long term game strategy.

WIA

Post: #4

(01-19-2013 03:24 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  If you've already fucked, roll out. If not, bang her and then roll.

Either way, this illogic will continue and you will find yourself deeper and deeper into some chicks mindbenders, until you're invested and she gets bored.

Furthermore, sounds like you "long term relationship" potential is high. Personally, I don't think that is a good long term game strategy.

WIA

Thanks. I was going to post that I am aware of the dangers of "one-itis" and that I am making moves to avoid it.

Post: #5

It sounds like a sign of her caring about you on the surface, but it's usually a shit test fueled by her fading attraction, at least it's always been in my cases. I'd keep banging, but be mindful that it's going downhill. It's the same type of rationalization as "you're such a nice guy, that every woman would want".

Post: #6

I agree with the above posters, it's not a good thing:
A) She's either trying to let you off easy by trying to boost your esteem while dumping you. It's a varient of, "it's not you, it's me".
B) She recognizes that on paper you're a catch (good job, high status, etc.) but she's lost her tingles for you. It's basically her way of rationalizing why she doesn't want to fuck you.

Post: #7

1. You're dating too low quality of women. These chicks sound insecure. Date hotter, and you'll have to deal with vanity, not insecurity.

2. For insecure women, you have to be a little beta followed up with a strong dose of alpha. For example,

"I think you're a very pretty girl and I enjoy spending time with you. (Touch her on her hips for maximum effect) But if you can't be happy with me, then maybe I should go home/send you home/call this whole thing off."

Post: #8

Agree and amplify.

"Whew, im glad were on the same page. I just didnt know how to talk to you about it."

Post: #9

Samseau is right here and so is AHZ, just move on mate.

Post: #10

(01-20-2013 08:20 PM)Samseau Wrote:  1. You're dating too low quality of women. These chicks sound insecure. Date hotter, and you'll have to deal with vanity, not insecurity.

2. For insecure women, you have to be a little beta followed up with a strong dose of alpha. For example,

"I think you're a very pretty girl and I enjoy spending time with you. (Touch her on her hips for maximum effect) But if you can't be happy with me, then maybe I should go home/send you home/call this whole thing off."

Thanks for the great advice. I would add, though, that this second girl actually models. I would put her as a 7.5 (it's art modelling). Perhaps the low quality stems from insecurity, like you said?

BTW. I used a line very similar to the one you gave, last night. She called me two minutes later, crying, telling me that she was just pissed that I wasn't texting her so much, so she thought I was pulling away slowly (guilty as charged).

Post: #11

(01-21-2013 01:08 PM)booshybish Wrote:  BTW. I used a line very similar to the one you gave, last night. She called me two minutes later, crying, telling me that she was just pissed that I wasn't texting her so much, so she thought I was pulling away slowly (guilty as charged).

You felt guilty about it? Fuck you fucked up. Did you apologize? Please don't tell me you apologized...

Again the pattern for insecure girls is "A little bit of beta with a strong dose of alpha."

Works every time.

What you should have said was, "Pulling away? Why would you feel that way? Come on, relax. Don't be ridiculous. Can you imagine being married to someone for fifty years and texting each other every day non-stop? By the way - no one's stopping you from texting me..."

Post: #12

(01-21-2013 10:58 PM)Samseau Wrote:  

(01-21-2013 01:08 PM)booshybish Wrote:  BTW. I used a line very similar to the one you gave, last night. She called me two minutes later, crying, telling me that she was just pissed that I wasn't texting her so much, so she thought I was pulling away slowly (guilty as charged).

You felt guilty about it? Fuck you fucked up. Did you apologize? Please don't tell me you apologized...

Again the pattern for insecure girls is "A little bit of beta with a strong dose of alpha."

Works every time.

What you should have said was, "Pulling away? Why would you feel that way? Come on, relax. Don't be ridiculous. Can you imagine being married to someone for fifty years and texting each other every day non-stop? By the way - no one's stopping you from texting me..."

Haha! Nonono, I didn't apologize. I am saying that she was right about me (accusing me of pulling away), but I didn't let her know that she was right. Her phone has been goofy, so I made it seem like it must be her crappy service. Then I told her to relax. She eventually said something like "I only told you to see other girls because I wanted to be a dick." Apparently she was butthurt from not hearing from me.

I'm definitely playing trying to play aloof game here (as well as find another lizard for rotation, this week). Have you had success being aloof with insecure chicks?

Post: #13

(01-22-2013 02:37 PM)booshybish Wrote:  

(01-21-2013 10:58 PM)Samseau Wrote:  

(01-21-2013 01:08 PM)booshybish Wrote:  BTW. I used a line very similar to the one you gave, last night. She called me two minutes later, crying, telling me that she was just pissed that I wasn't texting her so much, so she thought I was pulling away slowly (guilty as charged).

You felt guilty about it? Fuck you fucked up. Did you apologize? Please don't tell me you apologized...

Again the pattern for insecure girls is "A little bit of beta with a strong dose of alpha."

Works every time.

What you should have said was, "Pulling away? Why would you feel that way? Come on, relax. Don't be ridiculous. Can you imagine being married to someone for fifty years and texting each other every day non-stop? By the way - no one's stopping you from texting me..."

Haha! Nonono, I didn't apologize. I am saying that she was right about me (accusing me of pulling away), but I didn't let her know that she was right. Her phone has been goofy, so I made it seem like it must be her crappy service. Then I told her to relax. She eventually said something like "I only told you to see other girls because I wanted to be a dick." Apparently she was butthurt from not hearing from me.

I'm definitely playing trying to play aloof game here (as well as find another lizard for rotation, this week). Have you had success being aloof with insecure chicks?

There are two kinds of insecure girls.

You have the insecure but loving girls, who will text you all the time asking what you're doing and when they can meet next;

And then you have the insecure but passive-aggressive girls, who will never text or talk to you but then get angry at you for not contacting them.

The first group makes for awesome girlfriends who fall in love; the second group are crazy bitches than need to be avoided or simply told to quit the shit.

It sounds like your girl is in the latter category. If she tells you again "Why haven't you been texting me blah blah blah" then you gotta put your foot down.

First go with humor. Say, "Would you like a live cam that I turn on so you can follow me over the internet?"

Next go with balls. Say, "What the fuck is the big deal? Have I blown you off? What's the problem?"

Last, go with ultimatums. Say, "If you need a texting buddy, then you should stop talking to me. But if you want a boyfriend, stop giving me a hard time."

If she dumps you, then she did you a favor, because these girls aren't worth the time.