Post: #1

That is, what it is that drives you. What truly interests you, to the point where you *want* to put in the hard work, where the process/journey *and* the actual end goal satisfies you greatly?

David Deida talks about a man's "purpose" in The Way of the Superior Man, and it's a common idea I think, in the red pill blogs. I just read Roosh's review of Mastery, which prompted the question.

How did you get there? What are the things that you tried doing?

Frankly, I'm at a complete loss as to what I truly love or can be great at. I know I possess enough raw intelligence to do some things, but so far, I don't think I've seen anything that made me think "yeah, this is MY thing". Roosh mentioned, in his review, how some men take a while to figure out, and I guess I'm one of those.

I was told by a good friend that I should simply pick one or two things and execute them. Right now, this is pulling straight As in college, getting my day to day life in order (i.e, shit like laundry, cleaning, cooking, working out), and learning more on the side. And of course, always honing my game. But right now, I would rather focus on "value" than just women.

But yeah, so no "deep purpose" yet...only looking for some clarity of thought and peace of mind.

Post: #2

(10-20-2013 06:57 AM)Frank Wrote:  How did you get there? What are the things that you tried doing?

Good question, Frank.

I am finding some great examples of this on Cal Newport's blog.

This is a good example :

"Finding happiness in your work is a complicated, ambiguous, confusing process — a process that defies simple answers like “follow your passion” or “reject conformity.”

Thomas’ story, however, emphasizes that when battling these complicated issues you can do so from a simple, solid foundation: the recognition that working right must precede worries about finding the right work. There’s no magic formula to working right. What seems to be important, however, is making sure that you own your work before allowing the allure of hypothetical dream jobs own you.

“No matter what kind of work I do or where I live in the world, I realized that I am the same person with the same set of likes and dislikes,” Thomas told me. No new job can change these realities. That effort is up to you."

http://calnewport.com/blog/2011/02/14/ze...ight-work/


His blog (http://calnewport.com/blog/about) has many relevant articles such as :

The Passion Trap: How the Search for Your Life’s Work is Making Your Working Life Miserable

Why I Never Joined Facebook and Why I’m (Still) Not Going to Join Facebook

Beyond Passion: The Science of Loving What You Do

The Courage Crutch: A Remarkable Life Requires You to Overcome Mediocrity, Not Fear

The Danger of the Dream Job Delusion

Post: #3

Yea, there's a lot of talk about "purpose"...

I see young girls here in Thailand, just cooking at their family restaurant day in and day out. Maybe going to school, maybe having a little fun on the weekends. Do they need a purpose? Are they purposeless because they do day-to-day shit with seeming contentment?

Of course, who knows what they're really thinking. But you definitely don't feel existential angst here the same way as in America, where it's almost palpable. I think a lot of it has to do with the Buddhist influence.

Anyway, maybe this is the purpose: to come into full flowering and reach your natural potential, even if it's to work at your family restaurant.

I look at myself, waking up every day, getting some coffee, doing some writing, working on my business, training jiu jitsu, chasing some tail, taking it nice and slow.

I'm not out there starting the next Clean Water for Africa project or the next Apple (and look at the unintended consequences of that one. Can you say iPhone epidemic?). Yet I feel incredibly content and peaceful and grateful for my stupid little life and all the good and bad in it. But it wasn't always so...

At one point, I seriously started asking myself one question: "what do I want?" and just kept moving ruthlessly towards that, removing the people and things in my life who made me think "I don't want this."

I think doing what you want is just another way of saying "being yourself."

Most of us have our "purposes" force fed to us. We don't get to ask ourselves "what do I want?" and move towards that without inviting the ridicule and shaming tactics of family, 'friends', teachers, even complete fucking strangers!

So how are we supposed to feel meaningful and purposeful in life when we live OTHER people's visions for us? And once you snap out of that and start doing what you want, voila! You're now living your purpose.

It doesn't have to be some grand, highfalutin, world changing thing. Just aligning with who you really are.

Here's one of my favorite short Osho talks on the topic. I find it really addresses the issue of purpose quite beautifully.

Post: #4

I just do what I'm good enough at and don't mind too much that people will pay me good money for, my "purpose" is to enjoy life, which can mean as little as a few small things every day.

Post: #5

Great question.

Pick something and stick with it through completion.

Nietzsche said, "the formula for happiness: a start, a finish & a straight line."

You will have many doubts, but you gotta stick with it until its fucking done. That's who you are.

Vipassana Meditation helps you more fully self-actualize as you pursue some goal as well.

Post: #6

For me my purpose was discovered by trying new things. Someone else on here had the 'yes man' thread where they attempted to not turn down any invites or opportunities. I did something like that and just tried things as they come up. I then found a few things I really liked that were effortless to do for a job.

Post: #7

Your purpose:

To have a family who love and adore you.

To have grand children listening intently to gramps and his crazy stories

To have 100 people turn up for your 75th birthday

To be able to enjoy fishing, hiking, hunting and the rest of nature

To be able at the same time to enjoy discussing history, philosophy and the human condition

To have hobbies for which you make no excuse for pursuing with great intensity

To have long lasting and rewarding friendships that span decades

To sacrifice yourself for the ones you love

To be remembered after your death

That was the life of my grandfather and he certainly lived a life of purpose in my book. I think it is foolish to think you can find purpose in life outside the love that comes from family and friends. Then again, it was a different time when my grandfather was young. I don't think any of his social circle were divorced or even unmarried.

Post: #8

I am probably going to get as much flak on here as the next guy defending 4-hour-body on bodybuilding forum, but here it goes:

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2005/01...0-minutes/

Post: #9

Probably going to ruffle some feathers here but the truth is people who sit around and ponder their "purpose" in life are usually just pussies.

The only way to find out what you want in life is to try a whole bunch of shit that's not going to kill you. Meet new people. Fuck up and fail. Meet new people. Do shit you've never done before. Fail more. Stand back up. Fail again. Have a huge success. Lose it all.

There is no way you're going to find your purpose or interests in life on your couch ruminating. This is what losers do. They sit at home type that they don't know who they want to be and do the same shit every time with the same people getting the same shitty results .

Do not be that guy.

You want to be a different person? You want to look in the mirror and be like wtf I don't even remember what I was like 5 years ago?

Force yourself to change.

Life is too comfortable for people nowadays, easy to do the same shit, go to the same bar, drink the same vodka, hang out with the same guys

If you have the same top 10 contacts in your phone every year, you either fucked it all up or you have finally found your purpose because those guys are doing the same thing as you. Improving and growing.

You're a business. Get better by expanding or die.

No one wants to do that though, because it sucks and it's hard. Better to sit down and make excuses.

Post: #10

Some people know from early on what their dream job is. Some people just have a general direction. For me I wanted to do music but it's a cold fruitless career path. Most bands make less than no money. They work a day job to support the band hoping one day the band will "blow up" and make it big.

My other interest was computers. I went to school for electronics. Met lots of smart people. Learned about the millions of fields related to computers and electronics. You start to figure out what you like and what you don't like over time. Eventually you'll find the intersection of what you like, what you're good at and what pays the best. That's where you wanna be. Just stay away from dead end jobs. If you start to feel like you're not learning anything anymore it's to move up or move on.

One more thing ...You have to decide early on which one of three roads you want to walk down. You'll always be either labor, management or an owner. You should try all of them and see what works for you. Good luck.

Post: #11

hey VincentVinturi - very nice post.

A question - if I may ask: what exactly is your business? I'm just asking because I think you seem like a person who has his shit together and knows a bit about life. So I was just wondering what line of business you are in ..

(10-20-2013 07:44 AM)VincentVinturi Wrote:  Yea, there's a lot of talk about "purpose"...

I see young girls here in Thailand, just cooking at their family restaurant day in and day out. Maybe going to school, maybe having a little fun on the weekends. Do they need a purpose? Are they purposeless because they do day-to-day shit with seeming contentment?

Of course, who knows what they're really thinking. But you definitely don't feel existential angst here the same way as in America, where it's almost palpable. I think a lot of it has to do with the Buddhist influence.

Anyway, maybe this is the purpose: to come into full flowering and reach your natural potential, even if it's to work at your family restaurant.

I look at myself, waking up every day, getting some coffee, doing some writing, working on my business, training jiu jitsu, chasing some tail, taking it nice and slow.

I'm not out there starting the next Clean Water for Africa project or the next Apple (and look at the unintended consequences of that one. Can you say iPhone epidemic?). Yet I feel incredibly content and peaceful and grateful for my stupid little life and all the good and bad in it. But it wasn't always so...

At one point, I seriously started asking myself one question: "what do I want?" and just kept moving ruthlessly towards that, removing the people and things in my life who made me think "I don't want this."

I think doing what you want is just another way of saying "being yourself."

Most of us have our "purposes" force fed to us. We don't get to ask ourselves "what do I want?" and move towards that without inviting the ridicule and shaming tactics of family, 'friends', teachers, even complete fucking strangers!

So how are we supposed to feel meaningful and purposeful in life when we live OTHER people's visions for us? And once you snap out of that and start doing what you want, voila! You're now living your purpose.

It doesn't have to be some grand, highfalutin, world changing thing. Just aligning with who you really are.

Here's one of my favorite short Osho talks on the topic. I find it really addresses the issue of purpose quite beautifully.

Post: #12

Some day you'll find out what your special purpose is for.

Post: #13

(11-04-2013 06:58 PM)Ice Wrote:  hey VincentVinturi - very nice post.

A question - if I may ask: what exactly is your business? I'm just asking because I think you seem like a person who has his shit together and knows a bit about life. So I was just wondering what line of business you are in ..

Thanks bro.

I'm an internet marketer.

Post: #14

I think it is somewhat serendipitous; "The gift of finding valuable or agreeable things not sought for".

If you sit back and wait for it to come to you - it probably never will. If you look too hard - you will always question your findings and never be contempt with the answers.

But whatever you do; avoid laziness. Do stuff, challenge yourself, try new things. As one said earlier, define goals and stick to them, whatever they are. Then you will gradually grow and in that process you will find meaning and purpose.

Post: #15

(10-20-2013 06:57 AM)Frank Wrote:  That is, what it is that drives you. What truly interests you, to the point where you *want* to put in the hard work, where the process/journey *and* the actual end goal satisfies you greatly?

I like the way you put that. Something that makes the journey and the goal satisfying.

The thing is, at one time I thought I had found mine. But even when you do find something you enjoy doing, there's no guarantee that you'll always enjoy doing it. I got sick of what I did after awhile. And I don't even mean just occupation-wise.

When I was in my early teens I started playing saxophone. I absolutely loved it and couldn't wait to join high-school jazz band. I not only played in school, but my dad also paid for private lessons on the side. Guess what? By the time I finished high school, I was sick of the damn thing. I detested even putting the saxophone in my mouth. I didn't want to learn anymore scales, even the vibrating of the reed in my mouth felt like nails on a chalkboard. I was done. That saxophone has been sitting in my closet ever since and I have no idea how to play it and I've forgotten how to read music. I don't miss it either.

I say this just to bring home that even if you do find something you feel passionate about and enjoy the journey, you may burn out and start to feel oppressed by it at some point. Just be open to evolving. I'm stuck in the same funk as you but I'm much older. I want to take a new direction, but I'm not sure what.

Post: #16

I think sometimes your purpose finds you more than you finding your puprose. Like they say about looking for love you don't find it when you look but at soon as you stop looking it finds you. I find the same thing happens with your career or life purpose as well.

For me personally I was working a dead end job. Not a bad job but just not going anywhere. I realize there's a need my business I work for isn't meeting so look into filling that need and wind up starting my own company. For the first 6 months or year it was some nice side money but nothing great. All the sudden just in the past 6 months things have really taken off doing over 200k a month in sales, making a name for ourselves, business is booming and all the sudden I'm actually making it as an entrepreneur. I've always been very entrepreneurial but none of my ideas ever really worked out to anything serious.

I'm not saying things are just going to fall into your lap but if you surround yourself with the right kind of people and continue improving your skillset you'll have what you need when an opportunity does present itself.

In my situation my good friend who's also very entreprenurial was my partner in this business venture. I was also getting into web design, seo, ppc, blogging, etc. Because I had been learnign this stuff when an opportunity did present itself I had the skills and the right people around me to do something with my idea.[/php]

Post: #17

I think this is an important thread/concept.

Too many people are wandering through life aimlessly.

"Purpose" is different for everyone. Some people seem to be born with a purpose, others "find" a purpose, others have a purpose given to them by their parents, some people have a purpose find them, some people never quite find one.

I don't know if if everyone NEEDS a purpose but, generally speaking, I do think its helps to give your life focus and direction.

Of course, some purposes are good and others are bad. A healthy, positive purpose is probably best. There is enough negative purpose in the world already.

Personally, I never found a "purpose". A "purpose" found me. I was born into an athletic family and sports was all we did. Thats all I cared about for 30 years. Now that thats all over I'm not sure exactly what I will do next?

Chasing girls seems like the obvious choice.

My purpose is to chase pretty girls and help other guys find success chasing pretty girls.

I don't know? I gotta think about that?

My purpose is to spread love and make the world a little less harsh and violent..

My purpose is to make sad people happy..

Something like that. I need to think about it..

Post: #18

Never have been able to figure out mine. I just keep on truck'n.

Post: #19

Cool thanks for the info.

(11-05-2013 11:41 AM)VincentVinturi Wrote:  

(11-04-2013 06:58 PM)Ice Wrote:  hey VincentVinturi - very nice post.

A question - if I may ask: what exactly is your business? I'm just asking because I think you seem like a person who has his shit together and knows a bit about life. So I was just wondering what line of business you are in ..

Thanks bro.

I'm an internet marketer.

Post: #20

Your purpose is what you are doing when you realize it's no longer worth the time or effort to make big changes. Only then do you realize you were right all along (and therefore understand your purpose).

Some are driven in life, and we misconstrue that as having purpose.

If you desire great purpose, hope not for purpose, but to be driven. Drive creates the great purpose, not vice versa.

Post: #21

I'm with Westcoast on this one. Get off the computer and accomplish something. Take some risks and grow from them.
Sitting on the internet and dwelling on a lack of life's purpose isn't bringing you any closer to whatever it is that you're looking for.
Roosh himself wrote to "pick a project". It could be anything. Go make a boat or something. Learn guitar (it's not easy ).

My newest project is to buy several bags of concrete and figure out how to build an atlas stone. Them I'm going to heave a 240 pound atlas stone until it's a feather in my hands.