Post: #1

I went out to a club last night with a mixed group of friends. One of them is a girl who I know casually who was just in town for the night. She showed up much hotter than I remembered. I took a shot, did some light kino, but never got more than a friendly vibe. No big deal, I moved on to work the rest of the club.

At last call, I met up with my group of friends, and we gathered our things in preparation to leave. A fun song came on, and I had one last dance with the girl. We weren't dancing romantically, just like friends.

Halfway through the song, a dude who was bigger and taller than me came up, patted me on the back and said, "Sorry dude, I got to do this." Then he stepped in between the girl and I, boxed me out, and starting spitting very aggressive game with heavy kino.

I was at a lost for what to do. If I was deep in the interaction with this girl and some douche tried to cut in like that, I'd go to battle. But to do so when the girl clearly just views me as a friend and I wasn't trying to escalate felt like it would have been over the top.

One of the classic responses I know is to flirt with other girls in the room to make your target jealous, but it was closing time and there were literally no targets. Every girl was gathering their things and their friends.

I ended up just turning and hanging out with the rest of the group acting cool like it was no big deal, but it felt super pussy-like.

How should I have responded?

Note: I would have banged this girl if I could, but I don't have feelings for this girl, and I'm not a friendzoned beta. But I feel like the way the AMOG just cut me out was extremely disrespectful to me as a man, and I would have like to respond in a way that preserves my respect but doesn't come off as butthurt.

Post: #2

Next time call Little Dark.

Post: #3

Don't dance with a girl unless you're ready to tell any guy to buzz off if he interrupts.

Post: #4

"Sorry dude, I got to do this."

Mockery is usually the only way out of stuff like this, but you have to think really fast (not my strong point) and be ready to receive a punch.

You could just repeat his phrase back to him, grab her hand and start swing dancing her away from him doing dips and crazy Jim Carey-like moves. This takes the focus off what he just said and puts it on you.

If she asks why you removed her from the situation say you saw him say something sleazy to a waitress or something.

Anyway, I found repeating a person's phrase back to them in mocking tones will usually disarm them. I learned this from my brother who constantly made fun of me growing up. It really takes the wind out of your sails to hear your own words spat back to you in a geeky cartoon voice (think Kyle from "South Park") or an overdone "macho" baritone (imagine saying something you thought was cool and having it bellowed back in your face in Hulk Hogan's voice).

Me: "Mom, Tami and I are going to the football game."
My bro in a pro-wrestler's voice: "Yo MOM! We're goin' to the GAME! Gonna kick ASS! DAY-IM!!"

The problem is doing this in real time. A lot of times I'm like George Costanza and can only think of a comeback a week later.

Post: #5

So what happened? Did the other guy hook up or get her number?

Post: #6

Take this as a learning lesson. Now you will be more on guard and psychologically prepared for when it happens again. Even if a girl is just your friend, hold your ground and don't back off. Something like this hasn't happened to me in a long time, but I remember how devastated I felt when it did. I would rather get my ass kicked with my dignity and masculinity intact then to feel that way.

Post: #7

if you treat a girl like a friend don't be surprised that other guys tool you like that.

the best way to deal with such situations is to prevent them from happening. don't want competition? dance WITH the girl like she's yours. hold her hand a lot. keep her close to you. look after her. it should look like you're both together already.

of course you can always try to come back to her when they have a like break from dancing but usually it's hard to get her back once she meets guy who's more decisive.

stop playing mind games and actually GO FOR the girls you like

Post: #8

(01-17-2015 07:30 AM)Laser Wrote:  Halfway through the song, a dude who was bigger and taller than me came up, patted me on the back and said, "Sorry dude, I got to do this." Then he stepped in between the girl and I, boxed me out, and starting spitting very aggressive game with heavy kino.

I'm sorry man. I felt bad about cutting in, but you were failing miserably and I knew that I was the right guy to put a smile on that girl's face.

I feel bad now, though.
Next time I'll stay out of your way.

Post: #9

If it was that obvious that there was nothing but a friendly vibe between the two of you, than likely he was able to pick up on it and blow you out of the set.

No sense starting a fight you'd likely lose for pussy - let alone pussy that you weren't feeling interest from.

I agree with what XXL said above - keep escalating and she stops you and walks away, charge to the game. It's her loss anyways.

HSLD

Post: #10

Learn from the guys who are better than you at the arts that you want to master.

Put your ego aside. You got AMOG'd but it sounds like you weren't spitting game and the other guy was primed and ready to go.

I think you could have responded, "don't ruin my night just because you want to get laid" and kept going with the girl. To be honest I bet she preferred being around the other guy though, if you were just being friendly.

Post: #11

This happened to me once with gf. There are drunk big meatheads in clubs and they think they rule the club. I was lightly dancing with my girl and this big guy(almost twice as me) just started to dance near me in front of gf and more and more he was pushing in front of her. Other guys hit on her in front of me and told me they will take her home...and shit like that, just because they were physically superior and they were so drunk and stupid thinking they have a chance.

Post: #12

You're asking us what to do in this one situation...but the answer is that you need to change your perspective on the whole.

What would you do if you were playing football and a guy from the other team said "Sorry, I have to do this" and swooped the ball? Sure it's not your ball, but are you going to walk to the sideline and pretend nothing happened?

Post: #13

^so what did you do?

Post: #14

In a situation like that with your gf that you described you gotta be even more let's say territorial.

when guys hover around and start getting close you physically move you girl away from them and completely block them with your body. or if you feel ballsy you spin your girl around and in that moment when she's facing away you tell the guy to fuck off then you turn your back on him and you move away with your girl.

and you don't do it just once cause some fuckers are stubborn. you do it until they go away. it might take few minutes and you might fight with few guys throughout the night like that.

there are battles like that on the dance floor sometimes. been there done that.

you just HAVE TO be ready for war at all times

Post: #15

http://www.returnofkings.com/45241/how-t...-club-game

Quote: Seeing his opportunity, a Spanish guy not associated with the AMOG’s group came up behind the brunette and began dancing close to her, holding her hips. The AMOG noticed. He came over immediately, put a huge arm around the girl and moved her to his right. Then he took her place in front of the unfortunate interlocutor, and began grinding his ass into her crotch, laughing all the while. Then he turned and playfully grabbed the guy’s head, pulled it towards him and kissed him on the cheek, as though this was all just good fun rather than serious mate-guarding.

His physical dominance over the man, and the latter’s humiliation, were plain for everyone to see. Then – and this was the AMOG’s masterstroke – he grabbed the brunette and threw her back into the Spaniard’s arms. Predictably, she shook her head, disgusted by the implication that she might actually want to be with this weaker, beta male. With huge, shining eyes she walked once more into the protective radius of the AMOG, who was now ignoring her and dancing wildly once more as though nothing had happened.

Post: #16

This guy has done this before. Guaranteed it's his MO. He's humiliated a lot of guys, and I'm sure some girls have really dug it. He's also experienced enough to read the body language and see you weren't getting anywhere.

I probably would have called the guy on his bullshit. Not about that girl - about his disrespect, and I would have stated that it was not about her right in front of her. It doesn't matter what your intentions were. What matters were what it looked like, what he thought it was, and him stepping right over basic man code like you're not even a man. He could have waited for her to step off the dance floor and made an approach that wasn't so invasive.

There are ways to call a bigger guy out without completely creating a fight, by the way. Skinny hipsters do it all the time. Obviously that doesn't mean run your mouth off free of charge, but he said sorry which means he's not really sorry but at least is enough of a diplomat to acknowledge you and try to defuse you in a nonviolent way (he didn't just say "get the fuck out of my way").

Just telling someone they're out of line and calling them out in tone that says you're not putting up with that shit is often enough - and if anything it at least ruins his mojo because things aren't going as planned.

It's a bar, though - anything could happen. Could be iffy if you're not really ready to stand up for yourself physically if it comes down to it.

Hey, life has risks; proceed with caution.

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling

Post: #17

Since I'm usually bigger than everyone else, I haven't had a bigger person do this to me. I have however had smaller guys try to engage a girl I'm dancing with and usually have a pretty shitty opener. My response is something like "I don't think so bud." Give him a quick nudge that puts him in his place and he fucks off. Never got into a scuffle from doing that but if you're a shorter guy, put out a confident vibe. Act like you would lay that guy out if he ever tried that crap.

Post: #18

(01-17-2015 09:34 AM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  You could just repeat his phrase back to him, grab her hand and start swing dancing her away from him doing dips and crazy Jim Carey-like moves. This takes the focus off what he just said and puts it on you.

If she asks why you removed her from the situation say you saw him say something sleazy to a waitress or something.

(01-18-2015 11:02 AM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  I probably would have called the guy on his bullshit. Not about that girl - about his disrespect, and I would have stated that it was not about her right in front of her. It doesn't matter what your intentions were. What matters were what it looked like, what he thought it was, and him stepping right over basic man code like you're not even a man. He could have waited for her to step off the dance floor and made an approach that wasn't so invasive.

These two answers are great.

I've been on both sides.

When some dudes have done it to me, I have reacted in just about every possible ways one could when developing his game and confidence: 1) shrink back in humiliation (very embarrassing!) 2) just go around the guy and the the girls hand and turn her back to the guy and smugly wink at the guy and say "nice try!" and 3) confront the guy.

Number 2 is the best. Ultimately, the girl wants you to look out for her against interlopers - that's your job as a man.

There have been times when I've done number 2 and the girl turns her back on me and goes back to the guy. That's humiliating but it shows you were you stood in the first place and to just cut your losses with the bitch and never talk to her again.

I've been on the other side too and have done to other couples back when I was a punk with a chip on his shoulder - hah. I've done this to a couple who turned out to be a girl and her gay bff, and the gay bff handled it by doing number 2 above: taking her hand and leading her away exclaiming, "excuse me I was dancing with her." The girl loved this. Basically, if a little shrimply faggot can elegantly handle a situation like this you can too.

Post: #19

I've never had a girl who was receptive to this kind of AMOG. When guys would approach, the girl would just ignore them turn around or evade him and continue dancing with me. Before dancing I always first try to build rapport, get her comfortable, get her somewhat attached/invested in me.

If she is receptive to this, she is just not that much into you, so best to let her go. She should be the one telling the guy (either verbally or non-verbally) to fuck off because she's with me.

I think you handled it well, and I'm probably the only one thinking this.

Post: #20

(01-17-2015 06:19 PM)bewater Wrote:  This happened to me once with gf. There are drunk big meatheads in clubs and they think they rule the club. I was lightly dancing with my girl and this big guy(almost twice as me) just started to dance near me in front of gf and more and more he was pushing in front of her. Other guys hit on her in front of me and told me they will take her home...and shit like that, just because they were physically superior and they were so drunk and stupid thinking they have a chance.

That is more than enough to start a fight.

Some time ago, I had 3 guys hitting on one of my girlfriends while I was taking the other girl to the toilet to fuck her (I was banging both of them), this bar was known to be full of black dudes that like to fight. My girlfriend complained to me that there was these guys that were hitting on her every time I left and one of them even pinched on her ass.

I decided to stay right next to her and see what happens next. One of the guys thinks that he is brave enough and comes touch her hands while I am standing there, I pushed him off and told him to fuck off, his friends were getting ready to start fighting, I looked at them and told them ''yo let's avoid this shit'' (saying it in a confident non being scared way), they all walked away.

I think is always better to react, even if you get knocked out, I hate the feeling of going home and knowing that I didn't say anything or reacted, that shit is not healthy for my self confidence.

Post: #21

There is nothing you can do. If you're confident in you're interaction with the women then you can typically set the interrupting male up for failure.

If you're only friends and you try to cock block you will just appear very insecure. In you're situation you're best to say something along the lines of: "She's hot isn't she? How fast do you think you can get her number?"

There isn't much else you can do except act like you don't give a shit while applying a bit of social pressure. If it's my girlfriend though - Different ball game. I'll do the exact thing you're not supposed to do: Start a fight. I guess it's in my DNA.

Post: #22

You AMOG'ed yourself before he even came by dancing like a 'friend'.

He smelled weakness and intervened.

You live and learn, this is a good lesson to learn from.

Post: #23

Looks like the advice on here ranges from "react to keep your pride intact and display social dominance (that's what the girl wants)," vs. "no pussy is ever worth arrest/injury - if she gives in to brutish behavior like that than she's not worth your time - charge it to the game," to "cleverly maneuver her away from the guy with a zinger."

Sounds like there's no easy answer on this one. I guess work on getting in shape and improving your body language to avoid getting into the situation in the first place.

Post: #24

Sounds like developing dominance with a girl from the beginning and having both solid game and fitness are the best defense.

Post: #25

(01-17-2015 07:30 AM)Laser Wrote:  I went out to a club last night with a mixed group of friends. One of them is a girl who I know casually who was just in town for the night. She showed up much hotter than I remembered. I took a shot, did some light kino, but never got more than a friendly vibe. No big deal, I moved on to work the rest of the club.

At last call, I met up with my group of friends, and we gathered our things in preparation to leave. A fun song came on, and I had one last dance with the girl. We weren't dancing romantically, just like friends.

Halfway through the song, a dude who was bigger and taller than me came up, patted me on the back and said, "Sorry dude, I got to do this." Then he stepped in between the girl and I, boxed me out, and starting spitting very aggressive game with heavy kino.

I was at a lost for what to do. If I was deep in the interaction with this girl and some douche tried to cut in like that, I'd go to battle. But to do so when the girl clearly just views me as a friend and I wasn't trying to escalate felt like it would have been over the top.

One of the classic responses I know is to flirt with other girls in the room to make your target jealous, but it was closing time and there were literally no targets. Every girl was gathering their things and their friends.

I ended up just turning and hanging out with the rest of the group acting cool like it was no big deal, but it felt super pussy-like.

How should I have responded?

Note: I would have banged this girl if I could, but I don't have feelings for this girl, and I'm not a friendzoned beta. But I feel like the way the AMOG just cut me out was extremely disrespectful to me as a man, and I would have like to respond in a way that preserves my respect but doesn't come off as butthurt.

Hey man I know you have gotten some other terrific responses but I want to add mine as well.

1. I would have made it more clear that you are a sexual guy. More kino, more teasing, closer to her.

2. When that guy tapped you it caught you off guard. Don't let it happen again.

a. Think deeply about this and other similar situations and make up responses, write them down**, and say them out loud.

b. Practice making strong eye contact and use body language, tone and good volume.

c. Shaking a finger (as strange as that sounds) also helps. Sometimes I even just turn and give a finger wag then completely ignore.

d. Your goal should not be to "AMOG" someone back but to simply be unaffected by this kind of guy/ situation.

3. You could read some old school AMOG stuff from back in the day. If I recall some of that stuff was not only effective but hilarious.

4. Read some inner game topics to find a good balance between being masculine and being a dick. I only say this because I've seen some guys discover how to deal with the problems like this and then take it too far.