Post: #1

We know that Facebook can be a game killer and hostile to the red pill, but what are some ways in which it damages or destroys relationships? Here are four I can think of.

1. Facebook is anti-intellectual

Two drawbacks of American women that have already been noted are that they have the intellectual curiosity of a dung beetle and go on and on about the stupidest shit. Facebook just intensifies that, because everything is about appealing to the lowest common denominator.

Facebook is a combination of (1) a popularity contest and (2) a dating site. The popularity contest is is all about accumulating likes and, therefore, friends who generate likes. On Facebook, a friend who gives her a lot of likes (i.e. a friend who has no life outside of Facebook) is preferable to a friend who doesn't. Thus, she's going to be surrounding herself with fellow attention whores who live for online validation, rather than people who might improve her mind in some way.

What is a Facebook "like"? It's purposefully ambiguous. The ambiguity was retained when Facebook allowed for emotional "reactions" (laughter, anger, sadness, surprise, etc.) to be selected instead of a generic thumbs-up. If you post "I just fell down the stairs and broke my leg, but the doctor says I should recover fine," are people liking your post because they're glad something bad happened to you, or because they're glad you're going to recover? If they put a "sad" reaction, are they sad because you fell, or sad that you'll recover?

For a girl, the exact meaning of a like is irrelevant, because the goal is to get any kind of attention by whatever means necessary. They typically will play both the "oh, I'm weak and in need of support" and "I'm a strong and capable woman" angles simultaneously to attract likes from both white knights and feminists. Hence all these posts about how "Grace means that all your mistakes now serve a purpose instead of serving shame."

A "like" is a vote, so the same dynamics that apply to any other kind of vote-based politics apply to likes. It's like RVF rep points; most of what you see at first glance are the raw numbers, so if someone has 10 rep points, you don't immediately know whether those are from Quintus Curtius, the Lizard of Oz, Zelcorpion, etc. or from 10 male feminists who got banned in their first week. Campaigns for rep become a factor; if no one says, "Hey, give this guy some rep," it might not happen.

What's the best way to attract lots of votes? Appeal to the masses! For girls, that means lots of duckfaced selfies and motivational posters. It means using their attractiveness to get lots of guys to add them as friends and start liking their posts. It definitely doesn't mean posting anything thoughtful or intellectual that people will just scroll past while they're killing time at the bus station or waiting for the workplace microwave to finish cooking lunch.

Tuthmosis pointed out how girls always want to take photos at cliche travel destinations like the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Of course; that's going to get more likes than if they took photos at some more obscure landmark and posted a status explaining the significance of it. Facebook is all about appealing to what people already like, rather than teaching them anything new that may take time for them to mull over and decide they agree with. By the time they decide what you said was cool, your post is already buried deep in in feed. Contrast that to, say, a forum like RVF, where you might bump a thread from three years ago and say, "Wow, it turned out you were right about your assessment of Yemen's socioeconomic trends and their implications for regional politics!"

If you were hoping to have any kind of intellectual connection with your girl, Facebook makes it all that much less likely to happen, because the game she and her friends are playing is one that punishes rather than rewards deep thinking. It's one thing for girls to be apathetic toward intellectual topics, but for them to actively immerse themselves in stupidity and banality, and look down on intellectualism as worse than useless, gets annoying.

Facebook ends up competing with interests you might want her to make at least a slight effort to share with you. When you're dealing with a hardcore Facebook addict, it's hard even to say, "Let's watch this movie together" in hopes of discussing its subtle commentary on American society; or appreciating the character development, unexpected plots twists, and enigmatic ending; because she'll be tapping away at her cellphone through half of it. From her perspective, what you've invited her to participate in is a non-value-added activity because it generates no photo opportunities. Liking, friending, and commenting during the movie on the other hand, is "putting money in the bank," because it's expanding and strengthening her alliances.

Like a politician, the Facebooker's mind is always pondering the public relations angle of everything. You know how politicians always want to get a photo or video taken at the soup kitchen, where they're putting on an apron and washing dishes that are already clean? That's how Facebookers are. Everything is about the superficial.

For the Facebooker, pseudo-intellectualism trumps true intellectualism. The Facebooker writes a group paper for college and thinks, "Gotta get the cover page looking good for Facebook! Hey, why is my name second on the byline?" The Facebooker gives a presentation and thinks, "Hey, this photo didn't show the size of the audience!" The Facebooker graduates and thinks, "When do I get my diploma, so I can photograph it for Facebook?"

Absent from any of these posts is any discussion of the contents of the paper or the presentation, since they know their fellow Facebookers don't care about that stuff. Bittersweet and candid self-reflection on the journey and what our place in this world means in the grand context of human history and the universe is definitely absent. Facebook is no place for philosophizing. Rather, it's all about self-aggrandizement.

2. Facebook turns her life into an MMORPG in which you are but a minor character

In a relationship, at least one of you has to actually have a life outside of Facebook, or you would get nothing accomplished. Chances are, that person is you. That means that in the MMORPG of Facebook, you're mostly an NPC to be manipulated through diplomacy, rather than taken seriously as an ally.

You become a prop for her photo opportunities. It works directly against your being the one who's dominant and leading the relationship, because her Facebook addiction impels her to be the one coming up with places she thinks will have the best photo opportunities, and expecting you to take her there. It's not about a romantic moment picnicking in the field, UNLESS you bring the selfie stick, tripod, and all that other crap with you so you can put your whole life on display for the benefit of the reality show judges. You're now not just a couple, but performers in an online Colosseum competing with other teams to get those all-important thumbs-up from the masses.

Oh, you're not very photogenic, or don't have enough patience to smile for 50 pictures in a two-hour outing? That is a very deep flaw; it shows you're incompetent or uncaring! Look at how you harm her social standing.

Her attitude is, "Do you not get how important my public image on Facebook is, and how high the stakes are? Suzy just posted an album of her and her boyfriend's vacation to New York, and Stephanie posted a bunch of photos of the new shoes her husband bought her, but you're not giving me much to work with here. Why can't you be more supportive?"

Did you buy her some flowers? Her first thought is, "Hmm, what's the right angle to photograph this bouquet from, that'll get me the most likes?" In her mind, the flowers are not so much important as a token of YOUR love, but rather a way by which she can seek the approval of others. "Look at me, I get flowers from my man!"

Actually pleasing YOU becomes a low priority, or even a non-priority. What's the point of cooking you meals that you'll actually like, or giving you wild sex? She's more likely to cook maybe a few token meals, carefully crafted for their aesthetic value, after which the novelty value will have worn off, making them less suitable for attracting likes. Hot sex, of course, doesn't generate any photo opportunities that comply with Facebook's community standards, so that's a relatively pointless, non-value-added activity.

Intimacy does suffer, because Facebook is a game that can be played from a smartphone, and therefore that means she's probably playing that game first thing in the morning and last thing at night. Even when you're both in bed, then, your sexual overtures become a distraction from the game. Were there no smartphones, she would have nothing better to do at that moment than respond to your amorous gestures.

It used to be that before a couple had kids, they could devote all their attention to their adventures together, creating a private, shared history in their photo album that nurtured a new culture unique to their family. No more! Facebook, in women's lives, takes the place of the crying baby that needs constant care, attention, entertainment, etc. Women complain about men's addiction to porn or video games, but when they find a game of their own that they like, it's on.

Facebook is very individualistic. Families don't have Facebook accounts; individuals do. Remember the Christmas letters that used to be sent out in the name of your family, rather than of whichever parent of yours was writing the letter? It made it seem like you were all one team, triumphing or struggling together as a unit.

The recipient of the Christmas letter got that letter because they were a friend of the family, not just any one particular member. Facebook doesn't work that way; rather, on Facebook, both parents operate independently with their own friends lists that existed as separate spheres all along and will survive any breakup. There is no "The Valjeans" on Facebook like there might be on a mailbox or a return address sticker.

This is another way in which social media makes us more isolated rather than less. When you join Facebook, you are just another member of a "community" that will kick you out as soon as you violate their norms. It's not like the loyalty that a family or true friend has. The lack of true community solidarity is reflected in the fact that everyone has their own social circle, and the lack of true loyalty is reflected in how "defriending" became so common in social interaction that we needed a new word to use as a shorthand for it.

3. Women have lots of exes, orbiters, and frenemies in their Facebook social circles

Men often get tempted back into the chase when they succumb to the temptation to check out their ex's profile, and see that she's acting like she's happy without him. It's so easy to find people via Facebook, and get some sense of what they're up to, that the exes never completely go away. She could take her profile private, but that could interfere with playing the Facebook game of accumulating friends and likes, so she has to keep it at least semi-public, which means the exes always have a way back in.

The result is that her other available options besides you are always staring her right in the face as a concrete reality, rather than a hypothetical, alternate-universe possibility. Since she knows he's watching, she may, for her own amusement and ego gratification, post some statuses that could be directed at him, to bait him to respond (thereby showing that he's still stalking her and therefore still thinks about her).

She may shoo her ex away like a stray dog, posting about how he contacted her but she wants nothing to do with him. As the man who's currently with her, you may think, "Oh, great, she's letting the whole social circle know that she definitively rejects this ex! This strengthens my hand!" Not really; she's also letting the whole social circle know that she's still thinking about this ex.

It's also tempting to think, "Look, I'm getting all intertwined with the rest of her social circle on Facebook, by becoming friends with her friends! This strengthens our relationship!" Not really; Facebooking is a competitive game, and while there may be temporary alliances in which she and her "friends" trade likes, they are also looking to see her, and your relationship, fail, so that they can seem superior by comparison.

If she ever publicly dumps you, then she will have immediate support from the orbiters trying to get in her pants and the frenemies who rejoice in her (and/or your) misfortune. (Remember how I said that a "like" is ambiguous?) A lot of Facebook "friends" are just there to munch popcorn at the drama in others' lives. Personal tragedies mean more entertainment.

If the relationship does fall apart, Facebook will make reconciliation more challenging because she will be considering whether getting back together with you will make her look foolish in front of her Facebook friends. Meanwhile, her "friends" probably talked a lot of trash about you on her wall while they were being "supportive," so now YOU look a chump with no pride or self-respect if you get back together with someone who is still keeping those people around in her social circle.

4. Facebookers put constant demands on your time and attention

Facebook is one of the few platforms I know of that will not only say that a message was delivered, but even narc you out as having "seen" it. Therefore, if you don't reply immediately, that means you're "seenzoning" the person. You're not allowed to wait till you're in a better mood, or have had a chance to think about what was said; you're expected to reply immediately.

A lot of people prefer to communicate via Facebook Messenger, rather than use email. I think it's a shame, because email gives you a lot more space to go into detail and put some thought into your correspondence, rather than just replying with a one-liner while your attention is distracted by five other chat windows (as is probably the case with a lot of girls). Our parents' generation has stacks of handwritten love letters in their memorabilia; we have chatlogs full of emojis.

I don't know if they've fixed it, but Facebook also used to have a glitchy "Active x minutes ago" feature that caused constant fights when my Filipina then-fiancee, who was still waiting for her visa, would accuse me of chatting with other girls in the middle of the night and/or ignoring her. Facebook even includes a condescending "fuck you"/"cool story bro" emoji, which in and of itself provides a good reason to get off Facebook, just so people don't have an excuse to respond to messages with that. Why do we need a thumbs-up in Messenger, when we already have "k"?

The Facebook system of "friending" and "relationship statuses" creates drama by forcing you to choose whether or how to officially declare association or dissociation with someone, which would otherwise be implied so that people could save face. If you like someone's posts or comments, but don't like someone else's, you may also be assumed to be dissing them. It causes unnecessary conflict over nothing.

Conclusion

Since girls are usually the ones most active on Facebook, your girl's involvement there tends to put you in a beta position relative to her, because she expects you be an accessory in her Facebook life. Her success on Facebook makes her narcissistic, which works to the detriment of relationship satisfaction and stability. Facebook gives her alternative sources of attention (including male attention) independent of you, so that she invests less in her relationship with you, and more in her relationships with them. And Facebooking focuses on superficial appearances and the individual search for validation rather than on anything substantive or that would create a true sense of belonging.

I don't know whether a girl's heavy Facebook use should be considered a red flag, but for many reasons, I think it's a cause for concern about how suitable she would be for a relationship. Facebook is to relationship happiness what race threads are to harmonious and cordial discussion at RVF. What seems harmless or maybe even beneficial at the outset ultimately wreaks a lot of havoc.

Post: #2

Facebook is increasingly the domain of old people. The real concern is instagram. Instant validation from thousands of people. On the other hand, guys can use this to their advantage. I got plenty of nudes from instagram when I had it. Vinny can tell you how to get bangs.

Post: #3

While JV's rant is 100% true on all counts, it's also something I think most of us already know.

I think unfortunately that these discussions always sort of dead-end at the point of defining and describing the problem. Once you have a really firm grasp of the ills of modern life you have to figure out how to deal with it. You can't change society. It has its own momentum. All you can control is yourself.

Post: #4

So delete Facebook then. I haven't had a profile in probably 7 years now. No reason to--I talk to all the people I actually want to talk to and associate with in real life. As YoungBlade said, Facebook is for older people anyway. No need to rail against it. Delete it, and be interesting enough that the girl doesn't need to worry about her Facebook when she is with you. If Facebook is causing an issue within a relationship, it wasn't strong or worthwhile to begin with.

Post: #5

(06-06-2017 10:52 AM)YoungBlade Wrote:  Facebook is increasingly the domain of old people. The real concern is instagram. Instant validation from thousands of people. On the other hand, guys can use this to their advantage. I got plenty of nudes from instagram when I had it. Vinny can tell you how to get bangs.

Roosh was talking about losing out to Facebook, although maybe that was awhile ago. It seems like younger girls still use it, just not as much as older women do. It seems to still be pretty popular in the Philippines.

(06-06-2017 11:35 AM)questor70 Wrote:  While JV's rant is 100% true on all counts, it's also something I think most of us already know.

I think unfortunately that these discussions always sort of dead-end at the point of defining and describing the problem. Once you have a really firm grasp of the ills of modern life you have to figure out how to deal with it. You can't change society. It has its own momentum. All you can control is yourself.

When men apply the blue pill recipe to living life and find it doesn't work, their first reaction is to ask, "WHY???" Once you find out what's really going on, you can either resign yourself to it, and enjoy the peace that comes with resignation; or try to figure out a way to work around the problem. The more yellow and red flags we identify, the better we can avoid some of the worse women out there.

The anger state of unplugging is largely because men say, "I was led to expect x, and instead I got y!" Understanding the true state of affairs and its dynamics helps with expectations management. You don't want to be so pessimistic that you miss opportunities, but on the other hand, you don't want to be so overly optimistic that you set yourself up for crushing disappointment.

Post: #6

I still use FB but it's for the closed private group I'm in.

Basically it's a group where the girls post nude shots of themselves and the beta males in the group shower them with attention. It's entertaining to see the female validation thirst in this closed environment. Girls let out their inner whore and it's amusing to watch each girl in the group try to 'out whore' the other. Everything RP teaches us about the true nature of females is on display there. A girl started a thread the other day in there asking who preferred monogamy over having an open relationship. EVERY girl who replied on the thread said they liked having options and fucking other guys. The guys? Well, most of them said they prefer monogamy. Straight from the horses (whorses) mouth. But don't watch TV or the movies because they say the opposite and shit on men for it.

It's one thing to read about the female nature, but to see it full on display when the watchful eyes of the public and family aren't judging your every action is something else. I have banged 6 girls from the group so far (2 of them were married) and I plan to harvest even more notches in the future from it. In the meantime I'll enjoy watching these girls flash their tits and asses for those precious Likes (which I never dish out myself).

Post: #7

Which decade was this written for?

Post: #8

Every woman who is at least a 5 & in normal shape is getting her "other" inbox spammed with men in the US at least. I've seen it myself. Some are exes, college flings, guy from work, guy she met once at a party years ago, some guy she has never met but has a mutual friend with. It's neverending.

Post: #9

Facebook, or should I say "Fagbook" is an absolute joke.
They admitted to social experiments in manipulating people's moods via the release of sad stories. Not minor stuff, but stuff that could even cause suicides in those of weak constitution.
Clearly they are an Establishment/SJW tool to do all sorts of shit on people.

A friend of mine posted this re homos. Automatic 30 day ban, no appeal. This wasn't even a little private Facebook group. Apparently bans are triggered automatically whenever enough freaks click "report".
So we can turn this back on them. Every time an SJW posts shite, just report it en masse and it MIGHT get the weirdo banned.

Anyway, isn't "free speech" great? (rollseyes).

Below:post that got a censoring and ban.
https://ibb.co/j2sioF

   

Post: #10

(06-07-2017 04:47 AM)BelyyTigr Wrote:  They admitted to social experiments in manipulating people's moods via the release of sad stories. Not minor stuff, but stuff that could even cause suicides in those of weak constitution.
Clearly they are an Establishment/SJW tool to do all sorts of shit on people.

People don't realize participation in any social media today is to participate in the largest Data Science experiment. Facebook, Google, Instagram, Twitters, etc. can take the data you publicly put on their servers and analyze who you are. Its one thing to say, for instance you are "red pill" openly on facebook when they can figure out you are red pill without even a hint of it. Machine Learning is constantly being used. They effectively own a part of what we know about our personal life.

I would guess they all do more than just release sad stories via experimentation.

Post: #11

(06-06-2017 11:35 AM)questor70 Wrote:  While JV's rant is 100% true on all counts, it's also something I think most of us already know.

I think unfortunately that these discussions always sort of dead-end at the point of defining and describing the problem. Once you have a really firm grasp of the ills of modern life you have to figure out how to deal with it. You can't change society. It has its own momentum. All you can control is yourself.

I think you may be missing the point. The OP spent has a lot of effort in analyzing the harmful impact of all types of social media and how it continues to shift gender and family dynamics here in the West and beyond. The social trends he describes have very little to do with FB per se but with the despicable disease of online popularity contests which is growing exponentially at the cost of healthy interpersonal relationships.