Post: #1

Went out for drinks with this Flip girl I met online 2 weeks ago, went well. Been super busy, texted her Thursday to meet up again.

Me: Plans this weekend?
Her: Pretty busy sorry...truthfully thought ur cool but ill never be skinny like u like so lets stop pretending u might think im sexy u take care of urself.

My reply: Wow. I'm not pretending, I really want to be with you.
Her: Aww

How would you have replied?
Not sure where I went wrong, any advice would be appreciated.

Post: #2

You blew yourself out in this situation, either on the original date or in the follow-up text. The only situations a girl would massively false-qualify herself to you in that manner are as follows:

1) You are a super alpha and she's not being false about the qualification <-- judging by your cringe-inducing response, this is not the situation.
2) She's not interested in you and is blowing you off <-- 99% likelihood, judging by rest of the text (the vague "Pretty busy," "Take care of yourself")
3) She's mildly interested and shit-testing you to see how you maintain a dominant frame <-- 1% likelihood

The good news is that only in situation 3 did your text have any impact on the situation. The bad news is, in that 1% universe you absolutely blew it with "I really want to be with you," which may be the most beta, needy phrase anyone could say to another human being, let alone some lizard they've only been out with once. You were probably sunk from the beginning, but I would have replied with something like "I can learn to enjoy some curves. Meet me at XYZ at 7pm."

There's less than a 1% chance that this would have worked judging by the rest of the interaction, but at least you don't supplicate yourself to this bitch and maintain your frame in the face of rejection.

Post: #3

When you said "overgaming?", what part of the interaction are you talking about?

Did you communicate with her at all in the 2 weeks since the first meeting? If you didn't, she would probably take that as an implicit rejection. Now that you come back asking about the weekend, she assumes you've bumped her down to somewhere in the C-list of your rotation.

She may think you're cool, kind of. But not enough that she's going to give you the easy pump and dump that she sees as your goal for her.

My read could change a lot depending on context and further info that only you know. I read the first and last parts of her texts as bookending with polite phrases to reject the date, at least at first. The part in the middle is more honest, and likely to be what she's actually feeling.

Post: #4

This wasn't a case of overgaming. If you want to call it anything you were undergaming, because when you went out with her the first time you should have banged her.

You didn't bang her, she lost interest and flaked on you. That's all that happened here.

Post: #5

(02-26-2012 02:04 PM)Samseau Wrote:  This wasn't a case of overgaming. If you want to call it anything you were undergaming, because when you went out with her the first time you should have banged her.

You didn't bang her, she lost interest and flaked on you. That's all that happened here.

Yeah.

Red Flags all over the field on this one.

1. "girl I met online"

2. "texted her Thursday to meet up again"

3. "Wow. I'm not pretending, I really want to be with you."

Three strikes your out.

This was not "Overgaming"

This was "Terrible Gaming".

Tough Love.

Shake it off and move on to the next one.

Post: #6

Great thread

Post: #7

(02-27-2012 02:11 AM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  

(02-26-2012 02:04 PM)Samseau Wrote:  This wasn't a case of overgaming. If you want to call it anything you were undergaming, because when you went out with her the first time you should have banged her.

You didn't bang her, she lost interest and flaked on you. That's all that happened here.

Yeah.

Red Flags all over the field on this one.

1. "girl I met online"

2. "texted her Thursday to meet up again"

3. "Wow. I'm not pretending, I really want to be with you."

Three strikes your out.

This was not "Overgaming"

This was "Terrible Gaming".

Tough Love.

Shake it off and move on to the next one.

What's wrong with number 2 in your opinion?

Post: #8

(02-27-2012 02:18 AM)mofo Wrote:  

(02-27-2012 02:11 AM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  

(02-26-2012 02:04 PM)Samseau Wrote:  This wasn't a case of overgaming. If you want to call it anything you were undergaming, because when you went out with her the first time you should have banged her.

You didn't bang her, she lost interest and flaked on you. That's all that happened here.

Yeah.

Red Flags all over the field on this one.

1. "girl I met online"

2. "texted her Thursday to meet up again"

3. "Wow. I'm not pretending, I really want to be with you."

Three strikes your out.

This was not "Overgaming"

This was "Terrible Gaming".

Tough Love.

Shake it off and move on to the next one.

What's wrong with number 2 in your opinion?

The girl should be the one texting to meet up again, not the guy, because on the first date, she had a great time and got such a great fucking she couldn't wait to see him again.

Post: #9

"If you were fat and unattractive I would never have bothered to talk to you in the first place. So when are we getting those drinks this weekend"

Chef In Jeans
A culinary website for men

Post: #10

Thanks for all of the replies. In retrospect it's pretty obvious I committed a lot of rookie mistakes: too beta, passive, and serious. By the time I sent the text this one was probably already lost. Live and learn.

Post: #11

(02-26-2012 02:04 PM)Samseau Wrote:  This wasn't a case of overgaming. If you want to call it anything you were undergaming, because when you went out with her the first time you should have banged her.

You didn't bang her, she lost interest and flaked on you. That's all that happened here.

Most women aren't going to flake because you do not fuck them on the first date. If she flakes, there's usually another reason.

Post: #12

(02-27-2012 10:08 PM)Sphinx2 Wrote:  Thanks for all of the replies. In retrospect it's pretty obvious I committed a lot of rookie mistakes: too beta, passive, and serious. By the time I sent the text this one was probably already lost. Live and learn.

Everyone does it, the fact that you're able to recognize that and learn from it puts you ahead of 99% of the guys out there.

Chef In Jeans
A culinary website for men

Post: #13

(02-28-2012 06:35 PM)Smitty Wrote:  

(02-26-2012 02:04 PM)Samseau Wrote:  This wasn't a case of overgaming. If you want to call it anything you were undergaming, because when you went out with her the first time you should have banged her.

You didn't bang her, she lost interest and flaked on you. That's all that happened here.

Most women aren't going to flake because you do not fuck them on the first date. If she flakes, there's usually another reason.

Oh yeah? Have much have you experimented on this one?

Post: #14

(02-28-2012 09:05 PM)Samseau Wrote:  

(02-28-2012 06:35 PM)Smitty Wrote:  

(02-26-2012 02:04 PM)Samseau Wrote:  This wasn't a case of overgaming. If you want to call it anything you were undergaming, because when you went out with her the first time you should have banged her.

You didn't bang her, she lost interest and flaked on you. That's all that happened here.

Most women aren't going to flake because you do not fuck them on the first date. If she flakes, there's usually another reason.

Oh yeah? Have much have you experimented on this one?

All I can tell you is that I'm 34 and been on many dates in my life and not one time have I ever had a woman flake because I didn't try and fuck her on the first date. Never even heard of that with any of the guys I run with, either.
Not saying it hasn't been the case with you, Samseau, but I'm certain, at least in my experience, that most women will not flake after the first date simply because you don't try to fuck her. If she does, I imagine she's a pretty nasty girl to begin with.
All good.

Post: #15

(02-27-2012 02:18 AM)mofo Wrote:  What's wrong with number 2 in your opinion?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejSq-_NzAps&t=7m45s

Post: #16

(02-29-2012 08:48 PM)Smitty Wrote:  

(02-28-2012 09:05 PM)Samseau Wrote:  

(02-28-2012 06:35 PM)Smitty Wrote:  

(02-26-2012 02:04 PM)Samseau Wrote:  This wasn't a case of overgaming. If you want to call it anything you were undergaming, because when you went out with her the first time you should have banged her.

You didn't bang her, she lost interest and flaked on you. That's all that happened here.

Most women aren't going to flake because you do not fuck them on the first date. If she flakes, there's usually another reason.

Oh yeah? Have much have you experimented on this one?

All I can tell you is that I'm 34 and been on many dates in my life and not one time have I ever had a woman flake because I didn't try and fuck her on the first date. Never even heard of that with any of the guys I run with, either.
Not saying it hasn't been the case with you, Samseau, but I'm certain, at least in my experience, that most women will not flake after the first date simply because you don't try to fuck her. If she does, I imagine she's a pretty nasty girl to begin with.
All good.

Has a woman ever flaked on you after the first date?