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Totally Confused - Where Did I Go Wrong
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Maniero Offline
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Post: #1
Totally Confused - Where Did I Go Wrong
Ok this one has me really baffled.....

So I hung out tonight with this girl that has known me for a while - friend of a friend. She's a solid 8. There's always been this tension between us, but its never really worked out. She was dating some douche for a while and finally broke up with him and has been single for almost a year.

This girl knows that I currently have a girlfriend, but has no issue hanging out with me.

We meet at a local bar. Playful banter the entire time, IOIs all over the place (playing with her hair, touching her neck). She's touching my leg, my arm, my back, and I'm reciprocating. I work in a line about having to stay at her place because its closer (truth) than my place.

We launch into a conversation about how it'll work, playfully. Like saying panties and bra stay on, we'll make a wall of pillows, etc etc. I figure at this point, I just have to get to her place and I'm in.

We cash out (split the tab) and walk out with her holding onto my arm. We get out into the parking lot and I say, "So, I'll follow you (to your place)?" She immediately says, "You need to go home". Now mind you, I've had a few drinks, and her a few glasses of wine, but I'm definitely not drunk. I throw out one last desperation play and say "whats your address?" She just says in reply "night jerky".

I end up going home, thinking that I fucked this one up somehow. I was getting a TON of signals, but maybe the fact that she knows I have a GF is really putting her off on this one. Either that or she's just really flirty and has no interest in going home with me.

Really confused on this one.
03-26-2012 10:46 PM
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scorpio Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Totally Confused - Where Did I Go Wrong
sounds like she's jerking you around.

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03-26-2012 11:23 PM
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Blaze Frazier Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Totally Confused - Where Did I Go Wrong
One

Quote:I was getting a TON of signals, but maybe the fact that she knows I have a GF is really putting her off on this one.


Two

Quote:Either that or she's just really flirty and has no interest in going home with me.

You talked it out yourself. It seems to me as if you crossed a fine line from flirting to actually wanting to cheat. She saw that and got out.

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03-26-2012 11:43 PM
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Roosh Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Totally Confused - Where Did I Go Wrong
Two rookie mistakes:

-Talking about how to sex a girl where there was no intimate vibe (you're friends).
-Suggesting to go to her place in an obvious way that shows you want sex instead of casually weaseling in with a bathroom line.

Essentially you asked her "Can we have sex?" American girls don't put out like this. You were way hungrier than her, gave her the upper hand, and that was that.

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03-27-2012 07:11 AM
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Maniero Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Totally Confused - Where Did I Go Wrong
Quote:Two rookie mistakes:

-Talking about how to sex a girl where there was no intimate vibe (you're friends).

Not great friends, mind you. We have mutual friends and every time I see her (maybe once every few months), she's always touching me, laughing at everything I say, etc. Figured it was worth a shot.

Quote:-Suggesting to go to her place in an obvious way that shows you want sex instead of casually weaseling in with a bathroom line.

Being in suburbia, this is probably where I went wrong - right at the beginning of the night. I could have picked her up at her place, then been able to use a bathroom line at the end of the night.
03-27-2012 08:38 AM
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Veloce Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Totally Confused - Where Did I Go Wrong
(03-26-2012 10:46 PM)Maniero Wrote:  Ok this one has me really baffled.....

So I hung out tonight with this girl that has known me for a while - friend of a friend. She's a solid 8. There's always been this tension between us, but its never really worked out. She was dating some douche for a while and finally broke up with him and has been single for almost a year.

This girl knows that I currently have a girlfriend, but has no issue hanging out with me.

We meet at a local bar. Playful banter the entire time, IOIs all over the place (playing with her hair, touching her neck). She's touching my leg, my arm, my back, and I'm reciprocating. I work in a line about having to stay at her place because its closer (truth) than my place.

We launch into a conversation about how it'll work, playfully. Like saying panties and bra stay on, we'll make a wall of pillows, etc etc. I figure at this point, I just have to get to her place and I'm in.

We cash out (split the tab) and walk out with her holding onto my arm. We get out into the parking lot and I say, "So, I'll follow you (to your place)?" She immediately says, "You need to go home". Now mind you, I've had a few drinks, and her a few glasses of wine, but I'm definitely not drunk. I throw out one last desperation play and say "whats your address?" She just says in reply "night jerky".

I end up going home, thinking that I fucked this one up somehow. I was getting a TON of signals, but maybe the fact that she knows I have a GF is really putting her off on this one. Either that or she's just really flirty and has no interest in going home with me.

Really confused on this one.

From someone who's cheated on every gf...

Agree w/ Roosh. Just because a girl knows your situation and SEEMS cool with it doesn't mean shit. Most girls will still have objections and some moral issue if they know you're taken. MOST, not all. You still need to maintain a cocky/bullshit vibe. I would have said something like, "I'm not sure it's such a good idea, you might find yourself getting too attached to me." With a sideways smirk of course. The less you care the better, while still escalating in subtle ways. Still need to go through the same motions as if you were single. Escalate to getting your arm around her, touching, etc. If she calls you on it, put her on the defensive, "I didn't touch YOU, you touched ME." Etc etc etc... Any resistance with, "We shouldn't be doing this..." You say, "You're right, horrible idea, good thing it's not going to happen." And just resume like normal.
03-27-2012 11:36 AM
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