Post: #1

I can't find a single thread that combines going out alone AND not drinking.

I have no problem Rolling Dolo but I always drink when I do. I have no problem not drinking when I'm out with friends. But not drinking and hitting the bars alone is often awkward. Here are some situations regarding drinking and going alone.

Big Club
If you are in a big nightclub you could just order a bottled water. Many people there don't drink and not drinking at big clubs is not a big deal. The waters are like seven bucks anyway so they will still make money off of you. I have no problem not drinking in this type of venue.

Fancy Hotel Bar
If you roll into a fancy hotel bar alone and sit down and order a coca cola, that would be weird. Anyone here ever do that?

Upscale restaurant bar
Same as hotel bar. Weird to roll into an upscale restaurant bar, sit down, and order a water. Anyone ever do this?

Dive Bar
If you go alone to a dive bar, it's really weird not drinking. But if you are with friends it's not weird. Anyone here ever walk into a dive bar and not drink?

Irish Pub
It's weird to roll into an Irish pub alone and not drink. Anyone ever do this?

Crowded bar late night
If a bar is really crowded and its late at night, it's not too awkward to not order a drink.

This topic is of particular interest to me this weekend because I can't drink for a few days because of a medical test. I am going to hit the bars Friday and Saturday alone and not drink a single drop of alcohol. I'm feeling weird about this.

Post: #2

(10-04-2012 08:59 PM)NoBalls Wrote:  I can't find a single thread that combines going out alone AND not drinking.

I have no problem Rolling Dolo but I always drink when I do. I have no problem not drinking when I'm out with friends. But not drinking and hitting the bars alone is often awkward. Here are some situations regarding drinking and going alone.

Big Club
If you are in a big nightclub you could just order a bottled water. Many people there don't drink and not drinking at big clubs is not a big deal. The waters are like seven bucks anyway so they will still make money off of you. I have no problem not drinking in this type of venue.

Fancy Hotel Bar
If you roll into a fancy hotel bar alone and sit down and order a coca cola, that would be weird. Anyone here ever do that?

Upscale restaurant bar
Same as hotel bar. Weird to roll into an upscale restaurant bar, sit down, and order a water. Anyone ever do this?

Dive Bar
If you go alone to a dive bar, it's really weird not drinking. But if you are with friends it's not weird. Anyone here ever walk into a dive bar and not drink?

Irish Pub
It's weird to roll into an Irish pub alone and not drink. Anyone ever do this?

Crowded bar late night
If a bar is really crowded and its late at night, it's not too awkward to not order a drink.

This topic is of particular interest to me this weekend because I can't drink for a few days because of a medical test. I am going to hit the bars Friday and Saturday alone and not drink a single drop of alcohol. I'm feeling weird about this.

This is a good idea for a thread. I find myself in the position constantly.
What you can do is order a club soda with lime juice and leave the bartender a good tip so he/she'll be less likely to finger you as a creeper.

And if you need an internal justification other than running game, or if some girl shit tests you about why you are out by yourself, you can just say you had to get out of the house or something like that. But, you shouldn't be answering her questions like a dog anyway.

Post: #3

Club soda. Get it in a drink glass, not a water glass. Leave $5 on the first round and the bouncer wont ask any questions.

Post: #4

Why not just get the bartender to make your coke look the same as a rum and coke or other mixed drink? They look the same and no one is going to ask any questions. Same goes for water with lime in it. I doubt anyone is gonna say anything and if they do its vodka water. You'll drink everyone under the table! Also if people wanna do shots dump it before it hits your mouth or throw it over your shoulder. Bartender friends of mine have to do this all the time because so many people buy them shots.

Maybe it's just me but anytime I see someone sipping a water bottle at a big club I immediately assume the guy is on something. Anyone else?

Post: #5

(10-04-2012 09:15 PM)MikeCF Wrote:  Club soda. Get it in a drink glass, not a water glass.

Pretty much. A club soda with a lime wedge in it looks like a Gin and Tonic. An orange juice with a splash of cranberry looks like a Tequila Sunrise. Worse come to worse (like at the Irish pub), get one of those shitty non-alcoholic beers.

You can not-drink alcohol, but you must be drinking something.

Post: #6

It's all in your head... sort of.

+1 to club soda. A coca-cola is a good choice too - the caffeine and sugar boosts your energy levels, at least temporarily. Say it's a rum and coke.

Same for Red Bull. I'm a pretty even-keeled fellow most of the time, and I thought Red Bull would make me hyper - it didn't. It puts me at the energy level I'd be if I had a wingman in tow. If I go out alone, without drinking a sugary caffeinated drink, I'm much more likely to end up in a sullen state - girls almost never 'warm me up' - they usually just bail if I'm not being fun enough. I have to warm myself up first, and then find the girl who can reciprocate.

I regularly go out alone and sober.

Post: #7

Seconded on Red Bull. Maybe try to go places where there are events on, like a band that you know or something, and don't drink with the excuse that you need to drive later and you just came for the show, but decided to stick around. Or if you can stand hipsters, go there and say you're straight edge, but want to meet some new friends (and slay their women).

Post: #8

Another issue is simply that you can get in a social mood and vibe with the assistance of friends or alcohol, but when you go out alone without drinking you have neither.

I find it definitely doesn't help gaming girls, at least for intermediate guys like me, but I'm against driving drunk so I've done it often enough. I order club sodas. Of course, the bartender will spray it into a tall glass unless you tell him otherwise. If its noticeably non-alcoholic, girls seem to ask about it, not that it matters anymore than the fact you're alone.

I suppose the flip side of the issue is that you have literally *nothing* else to do but approach girls. But you want to get girls drinking for a ONS, which I find is easier if you're drinking together. She's not normally going to do shots alone. I would just say that going out alone and not drinking makes night game a little bit more like day game.

Post: #9

(10-04-2012 09:40 PM)basilransom Wrote:  I regularly go out alone and sober.

Me too. This is an actual picture of how I look when I'm out alone and sober.

   

Post: #10

(10-04-2012 10:07 PM)Tuthmosis Wrote:  Me too. This is an actual picture of how I look when I'm out alone and sober.

What I get from this is if you are an alpha male chilling and waiting for an opportunity then it doesn't matter whether you have a drink in hand or not.

Post: #11

I kind of think that you can't fake being relaxed. But, you have to practice it. If you are used to drinking to get "in state" and you want to not drink, I believe it is better to slowly taper it off while pro-actively going out and getting accustomed to gaming without booze.

Trying to go cold-turkey might not work if you've got subconscious conditioning affecting your behavior.

Post: #12

In college I saved money by going out on opiates and fake-drinking at bars. The above advice about tipping well on the first drink is spot-on. Five bucks for a $1 coke got me free refills all night. I also got much better service by telling them I was DD.

Most bartenders will put your drink in a lowball glass if you ask, but sometimes they won't hear you. When people noticed I was drinking from a big glass, my go-to response was always "it's a double".

Post: #13

if you want to make it smooth then try this. get into whatever venue you want alone and sober and pretend you're looking for your friends. you go in, explore the whole venue, look around A LOT, acknowledge glances from girls with smile/waving hand/point finger at them/etc and as you walk by cute girl(s) or pass them by chat them up and make it spontaneous like you stop cause they peaked your interest and you got curious about something about them. then as you chat up one group/girl you can still make eye contact with other girls around and acknowledge their glances with some gesture or smile.

CRUCIAL KEY: as you're doing your round inside you have to make your move FAST and approach immediately ASAP. no lurking or waiting for some perfect moment. none of that. perfect moment is now. if you want to make like it just happened (to not be weird loner in dive bar) you have to be ready to throw yourself into a situation in a milisecond. whatever you do the whole point is to make it look like you're on the move but you happen to meet some girls on your way so you stick around for a bit.


example:
you pass by a girl, she gets your attention for 2 seconds, you chat up...
"hey excuse me ladies, do you have sister [to the girl you like]?? you look so similar to blablabla...." or "hey excuse me have you seen a girl here who looked like xyz [describe some bomb ass chick], kind of like you but taller/younger... blablabla?" she's like "whaaat??!!" all sassy/pissed/standoffish/taken aback, she reacts emotionally to you and that's exactly what you want. you go "whoa you got some temper i like it maybe i should stay with you, who are you? blablabla.. so have you seen her? what, you don't like girls? everybody like girls! you would fall in love with her instantly you hear me? INSTANTLY haha". she's getting more emotional cause you talk about other girl and dissing her. all good. talk talk talk. if they ask you who you're with tell them you got invited for a night out [social proof] but your cell phone battery died so you will probably end up having fun on your own etc. when they ask you to have a shot/beer you tell you're on the last day of some weird strict diet challenge. talk talk talk. you still check out others in the venue, you see a girl subtly glancing at you, you smile back to her. talk talk talk. then "excuse me ladies i think i saw someone i know see ya later" and you can walk up to that next girl. if it fails you can go back to that first group. more about warming up cold approach in MOMENTUM OF THE NIGHT link in my signature. combine it with this post and you're good to go.


this way you can check any kind of venue in very short time being sober/solo. IMO the time before first approach is kind of sink or swim thing. there is really no room for procrastination going solo/sober in small venues where drinking with friends is expected.

i experimented with procrastinating on purpose in small dive bars by walking in, loooking around, posting up alone and getting on my phone texting to buy some time, spot cute ladies and assess how to approach them. with every second i was getting more and more inside my head and weird and lame. somehow i didn't project that on girls i finally approached and it went ok.

as a sidenote, the popular notion of waiting for a good moment to make a move is super fucking stupid thing to do IMO. it really doesn't change shit. a girl ordering a drink at a bar is not a bad situation, it just takes a little more energy to get her attention on you which you have to do anyway in every other situation.

also, with staff i've never had any kind of problems/issues buying water or coke when i gave 20-40% tips. it's all about the money.



PS. bigger venues like dance clubs are no problem, it's dark, a lot of people there, nobody knows what's up.

is this helpful?

Post: #14

Tell the bartender you're driving tonight.
Get a coke and say it has vodka in it.
As you pick up a shot glass, tip it forward so it falls out in front of you, then knock back the empty glass.

Post: #15

Great thread. I've been having heartburn issues, which really get aggravated by booze. The club soda is a great idea.

Post: #16

some good advice in here, I'm like Jackhammer, having a few heartburn issues recently so gotta lay off the booze.

Post: #17

I tried not drinking once at a college house party and enjoyed it. The friend I was with wanted to leave though - he didn't like being sober - and it quickly got a lot less fun for me. I think it'll be awhile before I'm able to roll both Dolo and sober. This is from the point of view of a younger guy for sure, but I feel like there's a sweet spot in my talkativeness. If I get too drunk pregaming, and then go out, I'll be hammered but not as social. If I go out sober, the apprehension from being sober is still there (though it's better than being tanked)

I think having a drink (or two) and going out with a very mild buzz, and then starting up the real drinking at the first venue where the girls are is when I'm at my best. The feeling of the light buzz getting heavier at the actual venue results in confidence and general happiness. Took me an admittedly long time to figure this out.

Post: #18

(10-04-2012 09:15 PM)MikeCF Wrote:  Club soda. Get it in a drink glass, not a water glass. Leave $5 on the first round and the bouncer wont ask any questions.

Been doing this for years... works well, a lot of times you don't even need to tip.

Post: #19

(10-05-2012 08:01 PM)Samseau Wrote:  

(10-04-2012 09:15 PM)MikeCF Wrote:  Club soda. Get it in a drink glass, not a water glass. Leave $5 on the first round and the bouncer wont ask any questions.

Been doing this for years... works well, a lot of times you don't even need to tip.

So do you guys just day, "Seltzer water in a highball glass" or something like that? Perhaps a rocks glass?

Do you do this in upscale hotel bars or restaurant bars that are not too crowded?

Post: #20

(10-05-2012 08:14 PM)NoBalls Wrote:  

(10-05-2012 08:01 PM)Samseau Wrote:  

(10-04-2012 09:15 PM)MikeCF Wrote:  Club soda. Get it in a drink glass, not a water glass. Leave $5 on the first round and the bouncer wont ask any questions.

Been doing this for years... works well, a lot of times you don't even need to tip.

So do you guys just day, "Seltzer water in a highball glass" or something like that? Perhaps a rocks glass?

Do you do this in upscale hotel bars or restaurant bars that are not too crowded?

I do it everywhere. Bartender asks me what I want, I just say "Soda water please." I've never been asked why I want this once. If they ask, I'd just say, "I've already had enough to drink for tonight, thanks!" And if they say it costs 2 bucks or whatever, give them 2 bucks.

Post: #21

(10-05-2012 08:01 PM)Samseau Wrote:  

(10-04-2012 09:15 PM)MikeCF Wrote:  Club soda. Get it in a drink glass, not a water glass. Leave $5 on the first round and the bouncer wont ask any questions.

Been doing this for years... works well, a lot of times you don't even need to tip.

When I roll with a girl to buy her a drink, he'll know right away what I want. I don't want to say, "Another soda water."

Buying a girl a drink when it's obvious you are drinking soda water triggers all sorts of anti-slut defenses.

So as he starts pouring mine I distract her attention away for a second so she doesn't see that he isn't pouring vodka in there.

Post: #22

(10-05-2012 08:14 PM)NoBalls Wrote:  So do you guys just day, "Seltzer water in a highball glass" or something like that? Perhaps a rocks glass?

Do you do this in upscale hotel bars or restaurant bars that are not too crowded?

Just tell the bartender what you want. No need to be self-conscious.

He's a service person and it's his job to give you what you want.

Just leave a tip.

Post: #23

(10-05-2012 10:37 PM)MikeCF Wrote:  

(10-05-2012 08:01 PM)Samseau Wrote:  

(10-04-2012 09:15 PM)MikeCF Wrote:  Club soda. Get it in a drink glass, not a water glass. Leave $5 on the first round and the bouncer wont ask any questions.

Been doing this for years... works well, a lot of times you don't even need to tip.

When I roll with a girl to buy her a drink, he'll know right away what I want. I don't want to say, "Another soda water."

Buying a girl a drink when it's obvious you are drinking soda water triggers all sorts of anti-slut defenses.

So as he starts pouring mine I distract her attention away for a second so she doesn't see that he isn't pouring vodka in there.

Well now you aren't rolling solo! If I'm with company, fuck it, I just get a drink. I allow myself to be a social drinker.

If I want to sneak not having a drink with a girl, the best option is to leave her somewhere in the club and get some drinks by yourself. If that's not an option then I get a drink with her. Trying to distract her like you've said has a huge chance of backfiring. Not worth the risk, not worth trying to explain why she's having a drink and you're not.

Post: #24

If a girl notices you're not drinking, here is my go-to line:

Make eye contact. Look serious.

"Recovering alcoholic."

She be like, "No way!" and start laughing.

You can go any number of ways.

1. Start laughing. Pull her in, "Nah, I'm just fucking with you."

2. You can then chide her for not taking you serious/mocking your condition.

3. Or say, "What? You find it so hard to believe that I'm not a drunk? What do you take me for, mr nice guy?"

Sometimes I'll use the chance to pull her in close, "We all have a past, don't we?"

Getting "called out" usually leads to good moments, so don't even trip about "shit tests."

Post: #25

also i think that guys who have problems with solo/sober game are the ones who play mr cool james bond. aka posting up in one place, trying to look all cool and shit, slowly looking around with rehearsed smirk, scanning venue for hot girls ignoring people in general, etc. then i agree, in that case it's super weird to just stand there like sore thumb with nothing in hand and nobody to talk to trying to come up with some tricks to look "as if".

to me the key to pull off sober/solo is to hit it up fast join groups and blend into the crowd inside FIRST and then to deal with why you're not drinking (using suggestions mentioned above). beside once you seem like a part of the group(s) nobody can say shit, they have no idea what's up, you might as well be their driver that night, whatever.