Post: #1

I love cats. I have one named Roosh.

A time comes in a man's life when he realizes he has to step outside the box to get what he wants. I've fought in wars, built business, provide for others, and fuck tons of chicks. Now, I want bengal kittens. They look like little cheetahs.

Because of it's fragile ecosystem, Hawaii has stringent laws to protect it from invasive species. Apparently, bengal cats will fuck it up. I love Hawaii, but really doubt a couple cats will make that much of a difference.

This is why I come, respectfully, to this forum. I have located a bengal cat dealer in California, and plan on purchasing a breeding pair, and another neutered male. Getting them to Oahu is going to be a bit of a hurdle.

I'v e brainstormed and have come up with a few plans. If you fine folks can think of any way to help me out, please speak up. If not, how about just sending me a "good luck Kona" type message.

First off, I've already got a way to get around the animal quarantine law here in Hawaii, so don't sweat that.

Here's my ideas:

1) Private jet. I've done research, and even with the insider discount, a smaller, cargo only carrier will still cost about 20k from LAX to HNL. That's a guaranteed no-search flight. This is the easiest open and shut way to do it, but that's pricey. I'd also have to add a 1st class ticket to LAX, one night's accommodations, incidentals, and what have you in the meanwhile.

2) Sailboat. This will take about three weeks. All costs aside, I cannot get three weeks away, and I don't think it's healthy for my baby kittens to be on the water for that long. A boat is just out.

3) Commercial Airline. This is what I think is the best way to go. My plan goes like this:
- Fly from HNL to LAX
- Stay with an Asian girl there that I fuck. She's hot and really friendly.
- Have her drive me to buy the kittens
- Once i get them, go to a hairdresser friend of hers (she's Asian) that will play ball.
- Dye the kittens black
- While they're drying, go to the LA County Humane Society (Speakeasy, Basil, etc. How about some directions) and adopt 3 black kittens in the Asian girl's name.
- Let those kittens go, or give them away.
- Put a see-through shirt and short skirt on the Asian girl
- Have her carry a little kitten cage with her three new babies, and their official paperwork, right through the TSA checkpoint onto a first class flight from LAX to HNL
- Send her back coach, and enjoy my new pets

I believe this is the best plan.I have several concerns. If you guys see any holes, please speak up. They are:

1. The hair dye. I would hate for a TSA agent to get black stuff all over his gloves. That would blow the whole thing. Dying the kittens rubber-glove blue is out.

2. The microchips they put in adopted pets. I really doubt the TSA or Customs and border protection have a reader that they will check those against. I'm working out a way to make it so, regardless, the chip can't be found, and they get a zero read. I'm hoping this is where the girls tits, mixed with tears over her new kitty's comes into play.

Other than those, I see no problems.

Can you guys throw out any more tips?

LA guys, the directions will be helpful.

Mahalo in advance for the help.

Aloha!

Post: #2

Letter from a zoo?
Hawaii must have one at least. Either fake letter from real zoo or from a nonexistent one.
I hear there is an animal dye that doesn't run, they use it on horses to cover signs of aging, but couldn't tell you the name offhand. If you know a breeder or racer maybe they do.
Other than that, risky but probably not excessively. Maybe if anyone else was transporting animals on the same flight, after seeing two or three the customs guys go "eh" and wave your girl with the cat cage through.
Good luck anyway.

Post: #3

(10-07-2012 04:49 AM)Kona Wrote:  I love cats. I have one named Roosh.

A time comes in a man's life when he realizes he has to step outside the box to get what he wants. I've fought in wars, built business, provide for others, and fuck tons of chicks. Now, I want bengal kittens. They look like little cheetahs.

Why's the need for 1st class tickets? Is it a ploy to have less scrutiny?

Post: #4

How is Roosh doing, by the way? I remember he was on the chopping block.

Post: #5

Kona, you may not want to dye the cat's hair. Here is what I would do...

Get Neil's passport. Get a blonde wig for the cat and use Neil's passport and identification to book a flight on a plane for the cat. The only problem would be having to take one cat at a time. If TSA pats down the cat just tell them he is from Holland and hissing is part of their culture. Don't forget the wooden shoes!

Post: #6

dupe

Post: #7

This is crazy, but while you're at it, you might want to look into the Savannah cat too. It's even more exotic and more likely to fuck up Hawaii (not kidding, those things can jump more than 3m vertically from a standing position, which is devastating to birds).

Post: #8

brilliant. Its like an Oceans 11 plan, but around cats not cash.

Post: #9

how you gonna dye the cat around the eyes? Have you ever tried to even give a cat a bath? Good luck with that!!

Post: #10

Just when I think the RVF boards couldn't get any better...

Seriously, we have data sheets on physical fitness, building wealth, personal hygeine, cooking, how to get by in almost any country on earth, and now?

Smuggling Bengal kittens into Hawaii from California. I fucking love it.

GL Kona

Post: #11

Kona are these F3 or F4 breeding pairs you're getting? F1 and F2 tend to be wild and probably more trouble than you would like to put up with. Cats are responsible for killing millions of birds every year, and presumably this is of greater concern in Hawaii.

Post: #12

BTW vets can give you sedatives if you say that you are transporting them across country (I have done this). Get enough for the trip and for the dyeing if you decide to do that.

Post: #13

Good Luck Kona!

Post: #14

(10-07-2012 01:40 PM)Roosh Wrote:  How is Roosh doing, by the way? I remember he was on the chopping block.

Roosh is well.

He got neutered. I got his balls in a little clear bottle.

He's still a wild animal, so he's pretty rough. I'm happy I kept him. He's turning into a decent cat.

Aloha!

Post: #15

(10-07-2012 09:27 PM)Menace Wrote:  Kona are these F3 or F4 breeding pairs you're getting? F1 and F2 tend to be wild and probably more trouble than you would like to put up with. Cats are responsible for killing millions of birds every year, and presumably this is of greater concern in Hawaii.

These are F3. I suppose after they breed the offspring is F4. The bird excuse is the same thing the Humane Society and the Department of Land and Natural Resources gave me. It just can't apply though because there are so many damn feral cats running around everywhere.

Thanks for the sedative tip.

(10-07-2012 09:27 PM)Handsome Creepy Eel Wrote:  you might want to look into the Savannah cat

What I originally wanted was called Servals. The problem is all the kittens of anything other than the bengals look too different than normal kittens.

I can go to Philippines and get anything I want. They got direct flights on Hawaiian, and PI customs agents will blow you for five dollars. The problem is US Customs and Border protection. I don't want to mess with them.

And thanks for all the kind words folks. I plan on putting this into motion within a week.

Aloha!

Post: #16

Im rooting for the law on this one.

Ever walked into a hair salon? That shit smells. Stay for another night in LA, to give the dye some time to air out. Then give the kittens another bath, to rinse down any dye left. Dry them out thoroughly, so they are all fluffy and cute. Go as far as using some hair product on them. You want the customs officers to go "awwwww" when they look at them, and not to trigger their spider-senses if something is amiss. Misdirection is the best way to hide something in plain sight.

Tip the stylist extra-extra. One for abetting your criminal endeavors, and two for making sure that none of that dye gets into the kittens ears, nose, or eyes. A kitten is "awwww" cute. A kitten with the pink-eye is a health hazard. Make sure she uses some high quality, soft chemical hair dye and not some safeway bought crap. You want that fur to look like it grew that way.

About the chip in the adopted kittens, just get some cats without any chips, or pay another vet to take them out and into your kittens.

Also, dont be an ass and let the decoys loose. Just drop them off at another shelter.

How big are the kittens? If they are days-weeks old, then theres a huge chance of you pulling this off.

And make sure its not traceable back to you if the chick gets caught. She must not have your name, address or number. Dont fly her in in the same flight as you. Im sure you are not committing the mistake of trusting her or thinking that she wont crack under pressure, but if you do, dont.

Let us know how it went.

Post: #17

Some background information:

http://maggoogle.com/adventures-in-life/...ts-hawaii/

Quote:Claudia Greco
May 8, 2012 at 7:11 am | #

Actually, Hawaii DOA (Department of Agriculture) isn’t banning Bengals and any other hybrid breed because they are worried about them escaping and wreaking havoc on Hawai’i's endemic species; any cat, from a tiny little Singapura to a Maine Coon could, theoretically, get loose and start chasing red Hawaiian honeycreepers, etc. The ban originated in 2006, when someone tried to bring a full-blooded serval (exotic African cat) into Hawai’i – not only was it an exotic, not domesticated animal, but servals typically weigh 30 lbs. or more. Denied entry with his werval, the owner then tried to sue DOA, claiming that other animals with a wild ancestor were permitted in Hawai’i. Rather than fight a lawsuit, DOA simply banned the imporation of ANY animal that has a drop of wild blood which, in terms of pet cats, meant Bengals (a domestic breed crossed with Asian Leopard Cat), Savannahs (ditto, with servals), Chausies, etc.

DOA’s measures are so Draconian, in fact, that Hawaiian Bengal breeders were banned from breeding any more Bengals, I believe, nor were they permitted to sell, “gift” or otherwise transfer any Bengals they owned to another person. Basically, the Bengals who existed in Hawai’i prior to 2006 were “grandfathered”, but no additional Bengals – even American-bred, direct from the mainland – were permitted into Hawai’i since then.

Ocicats who, like Bengals, are spotted cats, are wholly domestic cats with no wild blood, created from crossing, usually, Abyssinians with Siamese or other domestic breeds. They can go to Hawai’i. The lab who receives a cat’s blood for rabies testing for importation into Hawai’i do not screen the DNA (an expensive and time-consuming process), but the cat is examined at the Animal Control facility by DOA at Honolulu’s airport, and by authorized vets at Kona (and Lihue, I believe), under the Direct Release program. I don’t know how DOA could tell, say, a brown-spotted Bengal from a chocolate-spotted Ocicat without being a TICA judge (CFA does not recognize Bengals, but TICA recognizes both breeds), but if anyone has tried bringing a Bengal in as a DSH or Ocicat, I’d like to know.

So you could pretend they are Ocicat kittens. However, I have no idea of the paperwork involved, maybe try to find a nice vet and with some good will...

Also, I´m sure you did your internet research, but what about these (contradicting the link above) :
http://www.asnclassifieds.com/hawaii/hon...4-b64.html

There seem to be some bengal kittens available, or do they have to be of the F1, F2 generation?

Post: #18

This project was a total failure.

Two positives did come out of it:

1) I got to see beautiful San Dimas California, which is where Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure took place.

2) I got to go shopping with a wealthy Asian girl with great tits for the most see through shirt possible, and rub ice on her nipples for the affect.

The problem was, when I got to San Dimas and the kittens just didn't look the way I wanted them too. I wanted little leopards, and these were not little leopards. I was extremely disappointed. I just didn't want to take the risk, or spend the money for the girl's tickets to and from Hawaii.

I may try this again after a little more research.

Aloha!

Post: #19

(10-08-2012 03:29 AM)Kona Wrote:  Roosh is well.

He got neutered. I got his balls in a little clear bottle.

He's still a wild animal, so he's pretty rough. I'm happy I kept him. He's turning into a decent cat.

Aloha!

Post: #20

Kona, there's always next time! Try and see if you can get a picture of the kittens for us when you attempt this again......on second thought never mind. You never know who might be lurking the forum.